Finding Yourself
Part 15

The front door burst open and Jim Valenti rushed through, dropping his things at the door to make a beeline for the living room.

"Okay, who’s winning, Kyle?" He called out as he removed his Stetson from his head and stepped into the living room. He stopped short at the sight of his son sitting stoicly on the sofa. "Kyle? What’s wrong? Did they cancel the game?"

"No, I mean I guess not. I never turned it on." Kyle ran his fingers through his hair. "What time is it?" But he really didn’t care.

Jim examined his son carefully. Kyle wasn’t watching the game? There was trouble here somewhere. "Are you okay?"

Kyle’s gaze remained riveted to the floor. "Did you ever want to leave Roswell, Dad? And give me a real answer, not a parent answer."

Jim took a seat, getting comfortable. He had an idea where this was going and he wanted to feed his son a lie. But they had taken an oath after Kyle had discovered the truth to always be honest with each other no matter how hard it was. "Yeah, there was a time when all I wanted was to get the hell out of this town and never look back." Jim sighed at the memory, the longing to flee his hometown. "But you have to remember that your grandpa was Sheriff back then. He’d spent his every waking moment searching for the truth about aliens. He was as obsessed as I was two years ago with Max Evans. But you have to remember that everyone thought Dad was as crazy as a loon. I didn’t have many friends and most of the kids considered it a kind of sport to pick on me. So, yeah, I was ready to forget this town ever existed."

Kyle had raised his head to watch his father’s features. He’d never heard this story before. "What happened? Why didn’t you travel, see the world like you wanted to?"

Jim nodded. "I was planning to. I guess I was about your age, maybe a bit younger, but I’d been saving every penny, waiting until the day I had the courage to do it. But the old man found out about it somehow, and we had the fight of all fights. I stormed out of the house, waited until I thought he’d be asleep so I could sneak back in and get my things." Jim paused, lost in the memories of that night. "When I got back to the house, it was lit up with squad cars. He’d had a stroke after I’d left. I knew then it was my fault just like I still know it today. I’d said terrible things to him, about him. Things were never the same after that. We just couldn’t forgive each other."

Kyle looked at his father in a new light. He’d always known there was a rift between them, but had never suspected how old the scars were. "So, that was it? You stayed?"

"Yes and no. I told myself I’d stay for a year, finish school, keep an eye on the old man. It wasn’t long after that I met your mother. She transferred into town and she changed my whole world. We eloped the day after graduation. She loved this town." Jim smiled at the memory of how her eyes would light up when she was excited. He still saw so much of her in Kyle. "Dad had another stroke and had to retire soon after. Your mom persuaded me to join the sherrif’s office, work my way up the ranks. She knew I’d always wanted to, but never could while Dad was Sheriff. She said this town was meant to be run by the Valenti men."

Kyle sat in silence a minute, missing his mother like never before. She’d been dead ten years now, but the Valenti men hadn’t forgotten how warm her presence or how bright her smile.

"You want to find Liz, don’t you?"

"It’s not like that, Dad." Kyle was quick to reassure him, but wasn’t that exactly what this was about?

"It’s okay, Kyle. I was waiting for you to come to me about this. Actually, I thought you’d have come to me a week after Liz left. You have too much of your mother’s heart in you to let a friend disappear like that."

Kyle took a deep breath. "It’s more than that. Yes, I want to find her, but I think I want to join her too." Kyle observed his father’s blank expression and knew he’d gone into interrogation mode. He wouldn’t give anything away.

"You want to find Liz and live with her? Leave Roswell for good?"

"Yes." Just stick to the answer. Don’t elaborate and don’t squirm under that tense stare. Was it getting warm in there? With a swear, Kyle continued on. He never have been able to beat his father in a match of wills. "It won’t be so bad really. I was planning to leave home in a six months anyway for college. And I can just enroll in High School wherever Liz is." He paused, not knowing if he was getting through or not. "Dad, I have this feeling that she needs me, needs a friend. And I need to get out of this town."

"I’m sure she’s made new friends where she is."

"But how can she talk about what’s really bothering her with people that don’t know the big secret? And if she can’t talk it through, how’s she ever going to work it out and be okay? You do care about her, don’t you?"

"Of course I care about her, Kyle." Jim struggled to keep his calm. "But I care about you more. How are you planning to live? Paying rent and utilities are expensive. And when will you study?"

"I don’t even study now. Okay, bad joke. But I thought about the money. I still have the trust fund Grandma left me. I know it’s supposed to be for college, but I’ve been offered full scholarships at a dozen schools and I can take any one of them and still have some of the trust fund money to rely on. I’m not gonna go crazy, Dad. And I’m not going to run away in the middle of the night either. And as for studying, I’ll be with Liz. Remember her? Valedictorian? You think she’ll let me get away with not studying?"

Jim felt the weight of his many years. His son was grown up. When the hell had that happened? And how could he try to keep him here when he could see the desire burning in his eyes? "Are you only going for Liz?"

"No. I’d like to say I’m being completely noble and selfless, but I want out too. This past year was too much, with Tess lying to our faces. I actually saw her kill Alex, I helped load his body in our car. Starting over where no body knows you sound slike the best idea I’ve ever heard. Liz just thought of it first."

"What about your friends here, Kyle? You don’t want to graduate with them?"

"What friends? In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have any besides the ‘I know an alien’ club. And they don’t really like me. They put up with me because I might come in handy, and so they’re closer to you."

"What about Isabel? I thought you two were getting close."

"Not anymore." He still couldn’t think about Isabel. He’d really thought he’d found a kindred spirit in her. And maybe their paths would cross again someday, but he knew she wouldn’t want to see him for a while. And with her went his last friend in this town.

Jim ran a hand through his closely cropped hair. "This is crazy. You know that, right? You’re still in High School. You’re not even 18 yet."

"Two weeks, Dad, and I’ll be 18. Besides, it’s just another day on the calendar to me. If I haven’t learned it yet, the odds are I’m not going to get any big life lessons in the next 2 weeks either."

Jim cupped a hand on Kyle’s shoulder. "You’ve grown up so fast. I’m sorry for that. You’ve learned lessons no one should have to know."

"That’s not your fault, Dad. I don’t want to fight with you and I don’t want a rift like you and Grandpa have, but I feel like I have to do this. I’m the only one that can go help her anyway. It took me awhile to figure out why Liz didn’t say goodbye to Maria, why she hasn’t even written her yet. If Liz had told Maria she wanted to leave town by herself, Maria wouldn’t have wanted to let her leave alone, and she would have had to decide between her best friend and the man she loves. Liz knew that and never gave Maria the chance to be noble. Liz has always been there for every one else. Maybe together we can make sense of things, figure out who we want to be when we grow up."

"How are you even going to find her? She could be anywhere by now."

Kyle saw through his father’s bluff with a grin. "See, I was thinking you could just tell me where she was and save me the trouble of going through all the same legwork you already did to find her."

"What makes you think I know where Liz is?"

"C’mon, Dad. This is me you’re talking to. The only reason I didn’t run off and find Liz to make sure she was safe was because I knew you’d already done it. You would never have let her disappear. In fact, I’d be willing to bet you’ve already talked to the local police and have them driving by her apartment to check up on her."

"Only for the first few weeks she was gone. Damn it, what was I supposed to do? Let her disappear without a trace? What if something happened to one of you or her parents? What if someone had followed her?"

Kyle grinned at his father,, the softie. "I knew she was in good hands. So, how is she doing? I know you went to see her a few weeks ago, so don’t bother hiding it."

Jim let out a short laugh. "My son, the detective."

"I’m a Sheriff’s son. You can’t put anything past our kind."

"You’re damn right they can’t." He was ridiculously proud his son had figured him out so well. He would make a fine Sheriff himself one day. If he chose it, of course. He had sworn years ago to Lily that he wouldn’t push Kyle into his profession. "Yeah, I went to see her. She’s in a small town in Arizona, Flat Creek. She had all of her transcripts moved there. She has a small apartment, a step above a roach motel. She never saw me, but she seemed settled. I watched her take pictures of a group of kids in the park."

"So, she’s okay." Kyle couldn’t explain why that made him ridiculous happy and relieved.

"Kyle, she may not want to see you, or anyone from Roswell."

"Or maybe she needs one of us and is afraid to call."

"You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?"

Kyle nodded. "I have to do this. I have to leave. But I need you to understand and support me on this."

Jim forced himself to meet Kyle’s eyes, the eyes of a man. He had raised him well, and he was ready to leave the nest. He was so much like himself at that age, Jim had to grin. How could he deny his son this one request when he knew how burning that desire was? He could say no, keep Kyle in Roswell just as he’d had to stay. And they just might end up regretting it. With a terrible pain in his heart, he made his decision. "If you do this, there are two conditions." He saw the eagerness leap into his son’s eyes and knew he was making the right choice. Sometimes, you simply had to trust and let go.

"Condition one, wherever you go, be it alone or with Liz, I want to know. I’m talking common sense stuff. If you move, tell me before I call a disconnected number. I want to be able to get in touch with both you and Liz if I need to. You can tell her she has my word that I won’t tell a soul where she is unless she tells me to. Second, if either of you ever get into any kind of trouble, human or alien, I want you to call me. Can you live with those terms?"

Kyle nodded vigorously. He had no fears about leaving this town behind, no trepidations. The only thing he was leaving behind was his father. But he knew they would never lose touch. He was really going to do this. An excitement built up within him at the thought. There was so much he wanted to see and do. Would Liz be willing to join him? He hoped so. He had a feeling she would make an excellent traveling companion and he couldn’t wait to start. "When?"

Jim had hoped to be able to talk him into staying until his birthday, but he looked ready to pack his bags now. "Give me a week to get all the paperwork together and get you enrolled in the High School. If you can get everything squared away at school and with your trust fund, we can plan on next weekend."

"Thanks, Dad." Kyle pulled his father into hug and didn’t even mind when he clung to him a minute longer than usual. "You could have said no or made it hard for me."

"What would that have gotten me? I like it better this way. Now, c’mon, let’s figure out when you’re bringing with you. I think your room would make a great pool room."