Part 3

Jose rang the bell for the third time. "Liz…"

Plates came crashing to the ground in a dissonant symphony, and brown eyes stared at him with venom. Whoa. He didn't know Liz Parker could look that menacing.

"Um, Order up?"

"I realized," Tess said acidly. She leaned down quickly to pick up the empty plates, only one of which was actually broken, and then stood, still frowning. "Don't you have burgers to flip or something?" She inquired.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry." Jose turned to work at the grill, but that didn't keep him from missing the muttered string of expletives that sprouted from his disgruntled co-employee's mouth. Everyone had bad days, but Liz was hardly anything other than pleasant to him. As he worked on his burgers, Tess made her way over to the long-abandoned table ten. She stood in front of them for a few seconds, watching them stare at her expectantly, and then realized she was going to actually act like a waitress.

"Oh. Um, hi, welcome to the Crashdown," Tess spoke, trying to remember what Liz said every time she saw her working in the restaurant. "Can I take your order?" The presumable husband spoke. Tess scribbled furiously on the order pad, but she wasn't fast enough.

"I'll have an Alien Blast and a medium-well Will Smith burger, no onions or tomatoes please, with extra pickles." His wife moved to speak, but Tess stopped her.

"Um, what was that? No onions and…"

"Tomatoes, with extra pickles," sighed the customer. While Tess wrote, he exchanged an irritated glance with his wife.

"Did you want a drink?"

"An alien blast," he repeated, this time rolling his eyes. Service just seemed to get worse and worse every time you went out these days. Tess managed to write down his order to the letter, his wife ordered, albeit slowly, and that was that. The waitress trudged back to the kitchen, ignoring other tables she should have been taking care of, and slapped the ticket on Jose's counter. Presently, the cook came and took one look at it, raising his eyebrow.

"Since when do you write out every word, Liz? What's up with you today?" Tess frowned at him; she didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, but if she kept doing this, then she'd be figured out very soon.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm a little out of it today." If Tess wanted to take advantage of the situation, she was going to have to be a convincing Liz, and she wasn't doing a very good job of that so far. Right now she was safe because no one in their little troupe was present, but once they were she would have to assume Liz's personality. All the times Tess watched Liz in envy would be of use now. There was never a better opportunity to move her plan along, when she could easily make Max putty in her fingertips. The real Liz was going to be bitterly surprised at the meeting, Tess thought with one of her trademark smirks. However, if anyone saw that smirk who knew Liz, the real Liz, they would have said it sorely out of place on her kind face.

Fifteen minutes later, the plan to act like Liz was not only failing, but failing miserably.

"Excuse me, miss, but where's my Worchester sauce?" Wus-ta-sheer sauce? What the heck was that? She knew Tabasco, sugar, diet coke, and yogurt. Tess Harding may have been many things, but knowledgeable of food she wasn't.

"Is our meal coming?"

"I ordered decaf, not regular, Miss."

"Pardon, but can we have our check?"

Table Ten was waving her down again. "My burger is medium rare, not medium well like I asked for. Can you send it back? It needs to be brown inside, not red. Haven't you heard about e coli?" Then came the last straw.

"Why don't you get your cute butt over here and give us some service?"

Whoa. Stop right there, Tess thought. No annoying customer got away from calling her butt cute, no matter what kind of silly waitress uniform she was wearing. Liz's butt, whatever, that was even worse. "Excuse me?" she fumed. The two guys at the table leered at her, and she resisted the urge to dump the drinks on her tray into their laps.

"The service may be lacking here," the stockier one muttered out of the side of his mouth, just loud enough for Tess to hear, "but the servers sure make up for it." Then, he proceeded to ogle Liz's body lingeringly.

And that was the end of trying to stick to "the customer is always right."

~~ ~~~~~~ ~~

After realizing Tess carried around a purse and doubling back to the UFO center to retrieve it, Liz headed to the Valenti household. She could try to pull herself together there, and if Kyle was present, she could ask him if he wanted to go to the meeting tonight. If Max and Michael were still missing in action, it might be a good idea for Kyle to show up, if for no other reason than being informed.

Upon reaching the door, Liz moved her hand to ring the bell but stopped herself short. She lived there, she wouldn't be ringing the bell. "There must be a key in here somewhere," she muttered. Rummaging into the main pocket of the bag, Liz removed Tess' wallet. Feeling a key-shaped bump, she unzipped the coin purse and saw the object of her search. She smiled. Obstacle one overcome, but somehow, Liz had a feeling things were going to get a lot tougher.

The door opened easily, and Liz stepped into the once-familiar household. She let out a breath that stayed in her lungs since the discovery of the switch, because now she was alone. She could just breathe and not worry about something going horribly wrong in public. Well, something horribly wrong had gone on in public, but she didn't want another catastrophe.

"Hey, Tess," she suddenly heard. Liz turned to find Kyle walking in the kitchen door, a curious look on his face as to why she was standing in front of the door with a lost statement on her face.

"Oh, hi, Kyle. Um, I was just thinking about something."

"Right. Well, Buddha's all about contemplation, so if you ever wanna meditate together or something," his eyebrows wiggled, "you know where I am. On the couch, I mean." Liz tried not to laugh out loud. Was Kyle flirting with her? Or with Tess, she corrected herself. This was an interesting predicament if it was an actual indication of their relationship, or maybe Kyle was just being himself.

"Look, anyway, are you busy tonight?"

"Not too busy for you," he grinned. At her slight flinch, he held his hands out peaceably. "I'm just kidding, Harding. Really, I'm not doing anything. Wanna get me stuck in a cave full of killer crystals or something again?"

"Not quite," Liz replied. "We're having a meeting at the Crashdown after closing. Max and Michael won't be there, anyway, 'cause they've disappeared off somewhere, but I was hoping you could come." She smiled at him, trying not to get too specific about the meeting's purpose.

"Is the world in peril again?" Kyle asked, and his tone was light, but something in his voice told Liz he wasn't completely kidding.

"No," she sighed. "Not this time, Kyle." Kyle nodded and with a last smile, headed back to the kitchen. She heard the refrigerator open, the clanging of some drink can, and then two doors closing. He was gone. "At least I hope not."

Rubbing her eyes wearily, Liz continued over to the phone, mentally wondering who she should call first- Isabel, Maria, or Alex? She decided on the blonde alien, simply because she found 'Evans' written in girlish handwriting on the speed-dial. It was the only number on there, save the police station and 911 scrawled in the space left for those such things. The phone rang twice before someone picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, can I talk to Isabel, please?"

"Of course, Tess. One second," Mrs. Evans replied. Liz blinked. Did Tess call enough that Mrs. Evans knew her voice? It stung Liz a little, because she didn't know Max's mom nearly that well, but she mentally admonished herself for those thoughts. It was only right for Tess to know Max's parents because, after all, they were going to be together. Liz could never forget that.

"Tess?" Isabel's voice suddenly came over the line and woke Liz from her reverie. "What's up?"

"Hey, Isabel. Would you mind coming to the Crashdown after closing tonight? Te- Liz and I," she corrected herself, "Kind of called a meeting." She smacked her forehead lightly for forgetting who she was for a second.

"Yeah, no problem," Iz replied. "Anyway, Alex is actually here right now- I'm catching him up on some classes- so can I just see you then?"

"Of course, and tell Alex too, okay?"

"No problem. Bye." The phone clicked, and Liz held it in her hand for a moment, pondering the fact that Alex was there. Good for them, she thought. Someone in their little troupe deserved to be happy, and if Isabel had come to realize how great Alex was, even if it took his excursion to Sweden, then more power to them. As long as she didn't break his heart again, Liz would completely support their relationship. The alien abyss had already hurt Alex enough.

After a similarly uninteresting conversation with Maria, which was quite weird trying to pretend she didn’t want to spill out all the details of this newest catastrophe to her best friend, all the present members of their group were knowledgeable of the meeting. Liz now had a few hours to do whatever she pleased. Instead of taxing her mind endlessly for solutions to the problem or biting Tess' nails within an inch of their growth, she decided to get a little rest. She was always so tired lately, and being in Tess' body hadn't made a difference. Wearily, Liz curled up into a ball on the couch, not willing to sleep in the bed that housed both Tess and Kyle, and she fell into a troubled sleep.

~~ ~~~~ ~~

Liz could feel someone rubbing her shoulder and she felt her body begin to wake up. "God, that was such a weird dream," she mumbled half to herself.

"What was?" a voice asked. Kyle, it sounded like Kyle. Panicking, Liz's eyes snapped open to see her friend looking at her curiously, and suddenly the contours of the couch were pressing painfully into her back and the tight clothes were to apparent to her skin.

"Oh," she faltered, "Nothing."

"Kay, whatever. Anyway, I knew you said something about a meeting past closing." Kyle looked at his watch, "and it's about then now. You wanna go?"

She smiled. "Sure... thanks for waking me." Liz's stomach grumbled and she realized she hadn't eaten since breakfast. She thought momentarily about waiting until the Crashdown to get something, but not knowing how the discussion would go made her pause. "Let me just go grab a drink or something."

Five minutes later, Liz was standing outside trying to come up with an excuse about why she'd left her automobile at the UFO center that morning. Of course, she should have realized Tess must have driven, but she hadn't. It was obvious Tess wasn't exactly the athlete of the week, and walking to the Valenti's in her high-heels must be a feat even for her super-alien feet, no pun intended. "Well, you know, I just got into the walking spirit, and I figured since I was gonna, you know, go back tonight, I'd just leave the car there." Kyle didn't look impressed, so Liz rolled her eyes heavenward and wondered what she did to deserve this. "Today is not a normal day, Kyle," she finally concluded.

He chose to change the subject. "We're going to be late if we walk."

"What other choice do we have?"

"We can bike."

"Bike?"

"What, don't tell me Harding never let you bike either?" Liz wondered by the way he spoke Nasedo's name if he and Tess talked about him much. The way Kyle's voice had that slight measure of distaste, she suspected they did; but whether he disliked him for the destiny he implanted in her or the treatment she suspected of him, Liz didn't know.

"No, Kyle, I do know how to bike." Her voice had an edge on it she didn't really like, something she heard in Tess' all too much. She tried to smile and asked nicely, "You have an extra?"

"Of course- it's my dad's, but I can use that one and you can have mine. You might be a little short, but you'll manage." Liz had doubts, but ten minutes later she and Kyle found themselves pulling up to the Crashdown in the fading dusk to the amusement of one Isabel Evans. She was getting out of her car with Alex in tow. Instead of moving to greet them, he stared at Liz for a second then walked briskly inside.

"Hi," Isabel greeted them. "Does this have anything to do with my idiot brother and Michael?" Kyle gave Liz a confused look and she shrugged.

"No- you don't know where they went either?" She asked.

"I'm clueless. Let's go inside and talk." Isabel looked at Alex's retreating form. "It's kind of chilly out here." The three walked into the Diner and Kyle questioned Liz quietly on the whereabouts of Evans and Guerin, as he liked to call them, but Liz just shrugged. If Isabel didn't know where they went, she had a feeling there was going to be quite a story behind their little excursion. Most likely, if it were alien related there would be some sort of knowledge among those left behind, but they seemed to have disappeared utterly and completely. Liz wondered why no one was worried when it could mean they were in trouble, but the group had lulled themselves into a fall sense of security after defeating the Gandarium recently. She shrugged and decided to tackle one problem at a time, hoping Isabel would sense if something were truly wrong with Max or Michael from their connection.

"So, what is this meeting all about?" Maria asked, once they were all seated comfortably around the center of the Crashdown.

Liz took a deep breath. "We- um, Tess and I have to tell you about something that happened today."

"You and Tess," Kyle repeated, sounding a little confused but mostly sarcastic. "Who are you then?"

"It's me, Liz," Liz said. "Look, before you think I'm crazy, I'll tell you what happened." She began to babble, feeling foolish and nervous. What had she been thinking, blurting that out like she had. "Ok, I went to bring Brody lunch but he set up this virtual reality machine and Tess and I put it on but something happened and we ended up switching bodies," Liz took a deep breath and looked at the four pairs of eyes staring disbelievingly at her. She ventured to look into her own eyes and recoiled at what she thought she saw. A sick feeling began to grow in her stomach. "Tell them, Tess," she protested weakly.

"Look, Tess," her rival began. "I thought we called this meeting to tell everyone that Brody is experimenting to try to get his memory back so we should be careful. I didn't know you were going to make up a fantastic story like that." Brown eyes met blue ones filled with disbelief and seemed to scream triumph. Across the room, Alex was shifting restlessly on his feet, eyes darting between the two girls. No one was looking at him, but if they had been they might have begun to worry. He blinked rapidly and drummed his fingers absently on the dining surface.

Liz swallowed thickly and asked, "Why are you doing this? You can't mean to stay like this...?" She looked around frantically. "I swear I'm telling the truth. We really did switch bodies, and now Tess is pretending it never happened. You have to believe me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tess said coldy. Then she snapped the last threads of credibility Liz had at this point. "I thought you were changing, Tess. I thought you were becoming more like us and wanted to be a part of the group. I can't believe we trusted you this long, and now you're trying to lie to everyone about this." She let the silence hang for a second before delivering the last blow. "You sound like a crazy person, Tess."

"But..."

"But that was your plan, wasn’t it?" Alex suddenly piped up angrily from the corner.

Liz turned nervously to meet his gaze, and swallowed nervously at the look in his eyes. He was glaring at her with pure hatred, a burning in his eyes that Liz had never seen in the entire tenure of their friendship. Liz’s mouth went dry at the sight of it. She had never seen Alex so angry…not even when she was lying to him about Max.

"What are you talking about?" Liz asked nervously.

"Oh come on, Tess." Alex laughed bitterly. "You don’t need to lie to me…you’ve seen my mind inside and out after all, haven’t you?"

"Alex…I don’t know what you’re talking about." Liz insisted quickly. "Please…you have to believe me! I’m not Tess, I’m Liz. Whatever you’re talking about, I’m sure she knows!"

"Cut the crap, Tess, and tell them the truth! Tell them about how you’ve been mindwarping me into being your little servant for weeks. Tell them about Las Crueces!" Liz’s blank look seemed to just infuriate Alex further. "What? Do you look so surprised that I remember? Well it seems as if you screwed up somewhere down the line because it’s been coming back to me all afternoon."

"Tess, is this true?" Isabel asked in complete disbelief. "Have you been mindwarping Alex?"

"I…I…" Liz stammered, as shocked as everyone else in the room. Quickly she went from one face to the next, checking everyone’s eyes for any sign of hope, but everyone was staring at her with cold, angry eyes. "I’m not Tess." She protested again lamely, knowing that she was losing the battle.

"I think you should leave." Tess announced coldly, turning away from Liz and studying Alex sympathetically. "Alex…are you okay?"

Liz gaped at Tess’s sudden concern for a long moment, before nodding her head slowly in acceptance and turning and walking out of the Crashdown.