Chapter 14

The air felt heavy, suffocating around Max as he cut across the park on his way home from the Crashdown…heavy like the emptiness in his heart, as he quickened his pace, desperate to put more space between himself and Liz.

His head was spinning, and Max was desperately trying to regain control of his thoughts, but every time he tried to get his mind focused on the problem at hand, he came back to one distinct thought.

This was all wrong.

For nine months Max had been longing for one thing and one thing alone…Liz Parker…to be his again. And now that he had her, their relationship was practically nonexistent.

Yes, they had already gone on multiple dates, kissed and touched enough to put Romeo and Juliet to shame…except that it all felt emotionless to Max, like he was just going through the motions of the relationship. There was no heart behind it for him…and it made him feel like the biggest scum on the planet.

In retrospective, Max realized that he had been naïve to think that everything would be the same between he and Liz. Too much time passed, too much had changed.

They had changed…maybe too much…

Quickly Max pushed the depressing thought from his mind. They had only been back together for a week…it was way too soon to give up hope…hell, this was Liz he was talking about. He would never give up his faith in her…even if absolutely everything was different between them.

Their relationship in the past had always been about passion…fireworks, sparks…it was like an emotional explosion of love whenever they were near each other. Their connection had a life of it’s own, drawing them into each other until they were lost in each other’s eyes, and the whole world disappeared around each other.

And most importantly…Max had always been able to feel Liz. Always.

Until now.

Ever since Liz’s sudden decision that she was ready to be with him again, the admission that she had never stopped loving him, Max had been overjoyed, impassioned…desperately trying to cherish their relationship as the perfect thing that it had always been before. But now that he and Liz had spent more and more time together, Max began to feel more certain that something was off about her.

The biggest problem was that he couldn’t feel her anymore…not in the slightest.

After dozens and dozens of kisses this week, not once had Max gotten a flash from her…not once had he been able to sense what she was feeling. He couldn’t read her actions anymore either. More than once she took him completely by surprise…like the pass she had made at him only a few minutes before. It seemed totally out of character for Liz.

It was almost like she was a complete stranger.

And Max had no idea how to approach the subject with her without sounding like she wasn’t good enough as she was. Max never wanted to make her feel that way again after the Tess fiasco a year earlier.

The lack of flashes in particular concerned him. Even when they were broken up, he and Liz had always had flashes when they kissed. It was like a stability in their relationship, one that now seemed to have completely dissipate. Maybe too much time had passed. Maybe their connection had finally been severed.

A cold chill clenched around Max’s heart at the fearful thought…the idea that everything that made his relationship with Liz special, one of a kind, could be truly lost to them forever. It was like his deepest darkest fears were coming to life right before his eyes, and he had no idea what to do about it, other than give in to his fears.

And just as Max was about to give in to the harsh acceptance of his reality…he felt it, like a warmth filling him from the inside out, a cozy blanket wrapping around his entire being.

"Liz…" Max murmured in recognition, halting in his path and glancing around him, trying to search her out.

His eyes focused on a lone figure, sitting alone on a bench under a tree not five feet away. She was the only other person in the entire park, and as he realized who it was, Max’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at her. She was watching him too, her cool, blue eyes focused on him, and a chill passed over him, followed closely by a wave of disgust.

How was it possible that for the briefest instant, he had thought that he could feel Liz, that everything would be okay, only to be presented with Tess sitting before him. Tess, who always seemed to come between he and Liz. Tess who always seemed to be causing trouble. Tess who had lied to them all, and almost killed their friend.

But for some reason, when she opened her mouth and softly greeted him in a hesitant voice, he couldn’t seem to turn away.

"Hi Max."

"Tess." He replied shortly, frozen in his place, a small distance away from her.

"Are you okay?" She asked him gently.

Max stared at her curiously for a long moment. Her tone sounded…sincere…a note he rarely included in his mental profile of Tess Harding. He knew without a doubt that he couldn’t trust her, but there was something about her at that moment, something that wouldn’t let him turn away, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Why would you care?" Max asked her harshly, moving towards her angrily. "When have you ever cared about my well being unless it benefited you somehow?"

Tess closed her eyes and nodded sadly, in a way that seemed to hint at reluctant acceptance. She was quiet for a long time before finally replying.

"You just looked really lonely. I thought maybe you could use someone to talk to, but I can just go if you prefer."

Max sighed, slumping down onto the bench beside her.

"No, it’s okay. You were here first."

They sat beside each other in silence for a long time, and Max found himself surprised by how overwhelmingly comforting her mere presence was. It was a bit disconcerning how content he was at that moment.

Finally Tess broke the silence with a soft statement.

"I heard that you and Liz got back together."

At the sound of Liz’s name, Max’s head snapped around and he stared at Tess for a long moment. For some reason, the sound of her name on Tess’s lips was odd, it sounded a little too forced…but it also brought all of Max’s insecurities rising back to the surface.

"Yeah." Max finally answered reluctantly. The hushed air overwhelmed them again, and Max glanced over at her to find her studying his face carefully. "What?" He asked her curiously.

"I’d think that you would be happier about that."

"I am." Max insisted in a defeated voice. "I am really, really happy to be back with Liz."

"But?" Tess pressed gently.

Max eyed her suspiciously, trying to figure out exactly what it was that she was up to. Her tone sounded sympathetic and caring in a totally natural way that Max wasn’t used to hearing in Tess’s voice. But that was the key issue here. This was Tess. Tess was not to be trusted.

"Why do you care?" He repeated suspiciously. "When have you ever cared about my relationship with Liz. All you’ve ever wanted is to come between us."

"You’re right." Tess replied simply. "But let’s be honest here, Max. I don’t stand a chance with you right now after everything that has happened. I know that, you know that. So I’m here to be a friend and listen, if you want help."

Max hesitated a long time, trying to decide if he could trust her. There was something that he couldn’t quite place his finger on…something about her that kept whispering to his soul that it would be all right to trust her this time. After a long internal argument, Max gave in and let it out.

"I don’t know…it’s just that it isn’t the same."

"Between you and Liz?" She questioned.

"Yeah." Max confirmed.

"Did you expect it to be?" Tess asked him curiously. "A lot of time has passed, Max."

"I know." Max admitted, his brow furrowing as he struggled to find the words to say exactly what he meant. "I’m not naïve enough to think that some things wouldn’t have changed. I know I’ve changed, and she’s changed…but there are certain things that I guess I just expected to be a given between Liz and I. There were things that I guess I counted on being the same this time around…and they’re just not."

"What kind of things?" Her voice begged him not to stop, and Max responded naturally to her plea, turning to glance her way. The glance erupted into much more though when their eyes caught, and Max found that he couldn’t turn away.

"Certain feelings." He murmured, wondering why his voice sounded so husky to his own ears. "Certain emotions."

"The way they just seem to awaken whenever you’re near?" Tess breathed.

"Exactly." Max affirmed, wondering why he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He had never been drawn to Tess quite like this before…it was overwhelming, scary, and hard to ignore.

"I should go!" Max announced abruptly, breaking her gaze and quickly standing. He took a few long strides away from her before sighing and turning back. "Thanks for listening, Tess."

"Thank you." Tess replied softly.

Max turned and quickly headed across the park towards his house on the far side. He could see the lights calling him home, yet something made him slow down.

He could feel Tess’s eyes following him across the park.

Shivering slightly, Max crossed the street and headed up his driveway. He needed to get away from her watchful eyes. He needed some space to think about this…try to figure out what it was that had just happened between them.