Natalie sighed, desperately trying to stop the tears that had been flowing for the past few days. She had to move on. She couldn't hold on forever to the man she could never have, the man who had fathered another woman's child. Standing up from her bed, she walked over to her window and peered out at the ground below, her thoughts still swarming in her head.
Realizing she was crying, she brushed her tears away quickly. She would not cry anymore, she couldn't. She was going to be strong and get over this. "It's just a guy," she tried to tell her, but he was so much more than that. He was her best friend, her love, her everything. Inside, she knew she should have never given her whole heart away and let her self get too attached, but on the outside, it didn't matter. It had happened, she had fallen in love, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it now.
She held tightly to the window frame, as if it was holding her steady as so many thoughts continued to run through her. She was angry; angry at Cristian for being with Jen when he was supposedly in love with her, and she hated Jen deep inside. Jen was having his baby, Jen was getting Cristian. It wasn't fair that she could have both, although she knew the baby needed and deserved a father. She cursed the situation.
She couldn't wait, either. She refused to wait for Crisitan to leave Jennifer, because she knew he would never do that, not until their child was grown, and eighteen years alone would be unbearable. Love should be enough, but it wasn't, not this time. This time, it meant anything. Nothing at all. It wasn't even a minor detail. It didn't even matter.
I cried out
"Heaven save me"
But I'm down to
One last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me now
I'm six feet
From the edge
And I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
What else was there to do? There was no one left for her now. No one that truly loved her. The pain was rushing through her body, her mind desperately trying to comprehend everything she was feeling. She just wanted it all to stop; the pain to just go away. Sighing, she opened her window.
Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe
There's something left for me
So please come
Stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's
Something left
For you and me
For you and me
For you and me
She leaned out, the fresh air surrounding her. Biting her lip, she cried out. How did she go from being at the highest part in her life to the lowest in less than one week? One moment she was declaring her love to Cris, who felt the exact same way, and the next, he was telling her they couldn't be together and she was leaning out a window with thought of jumping.
Hold me now
I'm six feet
From the edge
And I'm thinking
She swung her legs out, now sitting on the frame, and able to fall or let go at any moment. The tears fell now uncontrollably, but she made no attempt to wipe them away. What did it matter now? Taking one last breath, she let go with her right hand.
"Natalie! Don't."
She turned slowly, careful not fall, and saw Cristian standing in her open doorway. The sight of him made her weak, and she knew she couldn't go through with it. "Help me, Cristian," she said through her tears as he pulled her back. "Just hold me now."