It was dawn by the time Rudy approached a slumbering Oscar in his office to give him an update.

“Well?” Oscar asked as he sat up on the couch.

“There was a lot of blood loss and some damage.” Rudy started slowly, his own fatigue adding to his soft tone. “We are watching him very closely.”

“Damage from what, the implant?”

“Indirectly yes.” Rudy poured a cup of coffee for the both of them then sat at his desk.

“What does that mean?” Oscar asked sadly.

“I spoke with Avery Miller before removing the implant to be sure I wouldn’t do any damage taking it out. He seemed a little confused that there was hemorrhaging.”

“Confused? He put a foreign object into Steve’s brain!”

Rudy raised a hand in surrender. “I know that. He said he didn’t think Steve would suffer from the same hemorrhages that his rats did. That’s why he agreed to go ahead with the surgery on Steve.” Pausing, he took a sip of the warm liquid while Oscar waited patiently for him to continue. “He said the implant had to be placed near a certain bundle of nerve networks to work, a spot near two major blood vessels. When his rats were over stressed and their blood pressure rose too high they would bleed out and die.”

“I don’t understand why would he think Steve would be immune to that?”

Rudy let out a long sigh and retorted with disgust, “For the same reason Spencer wanted him traded for a radar avoidance system….” Seeing Oscar’s confused expression he added. “He viewed him as being more machine than human.” Standing, he walked around his desk to fight his fatigue. “He knew with Steve’s bionics that his blood pressure does not rise with physical exertion. So he figured Steve would be immune to that risk. What he didn’t consider, since he was only thinking of Steve as a machine, was that an extremely stressful emotional response would send his blood pressure through the roof, thus causing the bleeding in his brain.”

Oscar dropped back in his chair and mumbled, “And when Steve felt angry and helpless….”

“Not to mention fearing that his life was in danger and he needed to escape.”

“I can’t even imagine what this experience has done to him emotionally.”

“Yeah, I know.” Rudy responded distractedly.

Suddenly a frightening thought occurred to Oscar. “Rudy is there a possibility that Steve could die from this?”

“Yes.” The doctor answered in all honesty.

“My god he’s the only one who knows where Jaime is. What if she’s in danger and we can’t find her? What if Steve dies, how will we find her to tell her?”

“Oscar calm down. I don’t know the answers to those questions. We don’t know for sure Steve is the only one who has that information.”

“But you know as well as I do he probably is. Rudy, if he wakes up, even for a second, you need to find out where she is.”

“If the situation comes up I promise I’ll ask him. Okay?” Oscar didn’t respond, his thoughts on Jaime and her safety. “It will be alright Oscar. Trust me.”

Two days passed since Steve was brought to the medical center. Oscar entered the Intensive Care room and, seeing Rudy with his stethoscope on Steve’s chest, remained silent. Rudy straightened up and pulled the ear pieces from his ears before sliding the instrument into his lab coat pocket.

“He looks terrible Rudy. How is he doing?” The small brown eyes never left the ashen face of his friend who remained unconscious.

Rudy took a moment to check his patient’s pulse at his wrist before replying. “His vital signs have been stable for the last few hours but he hasn’t shown any signs of regaining consciousness.” He let out a sigh, trying to force his tense shoulders to drop. “The brain scan I ran late this morning shows the bleeding stopped but there’s still a considerable amount of swelling around where the implant was placed.”

Oscar nodded and slid his hands into his pants pockets. He had hoped once the implant was removed Steve would recover quickly. “Do you have any idea if there will be permanent brain damage?”

“It’s very hard to say until Steve wakes up.” Oscar just nodded in response wondering if Steve would ever be the same man he was….the older man was sure his friend would never be the same, at least psychologically, after what he had been through even if he did fully recover physically.

Oscar and Rudy fell into a hushed discussion regarding Spencer and his abhorrent tactics. Both men were still stunned by how the situation spiraled out of control so quickly. Oscar looked at Steve and wondered what his friend would do once he recovered. The director knew he couldn’t guarantee the situation, or one similar to it, wouldn’t happen again in the future.

As they spoke both were unaware that, after days of unconsciousness, Steve was re-surfacing from the deep, black abyss and, with eyes closed, was picking up on the quiet voices.

The OSI agent was having difficulty focusing on what was being said and who the male voices belonged to as his body begged to return to an unconscious state in order to rest and heal. His head was filled with a strong dull ache and thick fog making even simple thought difficult let alone any reasoning he attempted as to his safety. He lay there still and quiet, conserving his energy as the voices mingled.

Suddenly the name Spencer broke through his muddled mind and his body automatically began to respond. His fight or flight response immediately kicking in. Fortunately he was too weak to physically react. The only noticeable signs were the increased respirations and the heart monitor beeping at an increased tempo which instantly caught the physician’s attention.

“Steve?” he spoke softly, hovering over the closed lids that covered the fast moving eyes beneath them. The doctor waited patiently, repeatedly glancing at the monitor, having some suspicion as to why his friend was reacting the way he was. Inwardly he cursed himself for even mentioning Spencer’s name within earshot of the injured man after what he had been put through.

The patient’s fast breathing continued and the pure oxygen being provided by the plastic tube under his nose gave his body a slight rush. The fact that his weakened body was not responding to his urgent need to move away from the voices made his anxiety all the worse.

Gradually the heavy lids lifted, partially exposing the glassy blue eyes. The restless shifting of his limbs slowed as he struggled to bring the two faces into focus. The burst of panicked effort had quickly expended his limited stores of energy. His voice was but a whisper.

“Rudy?” he asked as his eyes closed against his will.

“Yeah Steve, it’s me.” He replied softly hoping to calm his friend. “Everything’s under control, your safe and with time you’re going to be okay.”

Steve’s mind dragged behind, trying to comprehend the words spoken to him. He became frustrated that his thoughts were so slow and confused. All he knew was if Spencer was anywhere near him he needed to escape before they got control of him again. His heart continued to pound in his chest as soon as his body, weary and exhausted, would not respond to his need to flee.

Rudy watched as the body gradually stilled but the head slowly turned towards him. The broad chest rose as air was pulled deeply into the lungs and one word was slurred in the shaky exhale.

“Ssppeenncceerr..” Rudy glanced at the worried frown of his boss who silently hovered on the other side of the bed. Looking back at his patient he placed an apologetic hand on the nearest shoulder and reassured him.

“He’s not here Steve….he’s long gone. They forced his resignation.”

Unable to remain silent Oscar spoke up needing to know the whereabouts of his other bionic agent who disappeared without a trace. “Steve, where’s Jaime?”

Both men saw a tiny smirk curl the side of the thin lips and Steve replied simply, “She’s safe.”

There was no elaboration from the injured man but the long sigh that was heard told of the relief the helpless man felt. Rudy felt the body underneath his hand relax and sink deeper into the bed as Steve drifted back into a state of blissful unawareness.

Rudy knocked then opened the door to his patient’s room. Steve, standing next to the bed with his back to the door, did not turn to greet the visitor. As he dressed he knew Rudy would be coming to give him his discharge orders.

The doctor took a second, aware that he was expected, and watched as his patient placed small items and clothing into a small duffle bag with more apathy then enthusiasm as demonstrated by his slow, deliberate movements. The fact that his friend didn’t turn to acknowledge him made him uneasy. Physically Steve had recovered but psychologically he had closed himself off from everyone, including his closest friends, which made providing the appropriate care almost impossible.

It was only two days after Steve first regained consciousness that Rudy became aware of his patient’s insecurity when he unexpectedly entered the room to find Steve sitting on the side of his bed with the supplemental oxygen discarded, breathing heavily and perspiring from the effort. Only minutes before, while in a deep sleep, Steve had relived the horror of being trapped and helpless like a lab rat. He awoke thinking he was still in Russian hands. With a face pale from exhaustion Steve looked at Rudy with steely determination which had puzzled the doctor.

Moving slowly Rudy eyed the sheets gathered about his patient’s waist. The right hand held the covering securely at his middle as his left hand maintained a white knuckled grip on the fitted sheet next to his thigh. Surely Steve didn’t have plans to leave his bed let alone his room. With the increasing lack of interaction in the previous days Rudy was becoming more and more concerned for his patient’s state of mind, a patient who would not confide in him.

With a level of caution Rudy had questioned his patient’s intentions. Seconds ticked by before Steve would or could respond to the direct inquiry. His plan was in fact to flee the medical center, an intense need to protect himself pushing him.

“Steve do you really think you aren’t safe here?” Rudy had asked with disbelief.

Steve brow lifting with his head was the only response the doctor got to his lack of forethought. Suddenly Rudy fully understood his patient’s need to run and hide. It was here, at this same medical center, that his friend’s life and basic human rights were almost taken from him. The fact that he could only stand-by and watch, was not lost on the physician and he nodded his understanding. For a moment the hard blue eyes bore into the apologetic brown ones. It was then Rudy knew Steve may never be able to trust anyone again, no matter how much reassurance those close to him provided.

Pulling his mind back to the present Rudy lifted his right leg and perched himself on a small table by the door. His hands fumbling with the stethoscope as his self-imposed guilt for being unable to protect his friend and patient from the nightmare of the previous month effectively smothering the words he needed to say. Maybe in time he would but for now it was useless to try.

Looking up he saw Steve standing and facing him with a stoic expression. “Something you need me for?” The patient asked.

Focusing on the present situation Rudy glanced at the chart on the table next to him. The best he could do was fall into his professional role as physician. “I want you back for a checkup in 2 days.” Looking up be saw a slight nod. “I have already notified Oscar that you are on a leave of absence for at least three weeks.” He watched and waited for a response.

“That won’t be necessary.” The reply took Rudy by surprise.

“Why not?”

Steve reached down and retrieved his bag from the bed. Taking a few steps to the door he stopped next to Rudy. “I’m resigning today.” Without waiting for a continuation of the discussion Steve exited the room leaving Rudy stunned.

That afternoon Rudy would learn Steve had found out, through his own inquiries, why it was so easy for Spencer to get Presidential approval for his actions. During his presentation to the President Spencer emphasized how important the Russian radar avoidance was to the US’s military forces. When asked what the US had to exchange for such an important piece of hardware Spencer explained it was a small and almost obsolete machine that was used on an infrequent basis to acquire and disseminate intelligence abroad. It was something the Russians didn’t have and wanted badly. The president never questioned nor did he think he needed to, when he signed the form listing the exchange of US Government property, Catalog #786-34-C for the MiG and its radar avoidance system. In the rush of the meeting no one thought it necessary to look up what exactly that catalog number referred to. No one even thought it could possibly be an actual human being. In effect, Steve was nothing but an item number.

Steve moved through the door of the large, well laid-out log cabin. It was late at night and he hated to wake the sole occupant. Stepping into the living room he saw her standing by the window. Slowly he set his bag on the floor and watched her move gracefully towards him.

“Sorry I woke you.”

“Don’t be. I heard you coming from miles away.” She gave him a tiny smile. “Besides I’ve been worried sick not hearing from you for a month after you told me to run for the hills…..literally.”

Steve gave her a crooked grin. “Sorry about that. Things….well, they kind of got out of hand very fast.”

She placed a hand on his chest, her eyes taking in every feature. “Can you tell me?”

Steve swallowed hard, his deeply buried emotions about his experience, which until now had been tightly controlled, began bubbling quickly to the surface. Here before him was the one person on the whole world who could come close to understanding how he had felt during the previous weeks. He ached to tell her everything but needed time. “Maybe tomorrow, after some sleep.”

“You look like you could use it.” She stayed close to him, wondering if she was ready to share her feelings with him. Wondering what his reaction to them might be, knowing he only sent her here to protect her not necessarily to be with him.

Steve saw the battle behind her blue eyes. “Is there something wrong?”

She remained silent, having him so close, taking in his scent with every breath, made her tremble.

”Jaime?” He placed his hands on her upper arms and was surprised by her reaction.

She kissed him hard, her arms wrapping tightly about his neck, her tongue searching for his and finding it. It seemed to ended as quickly as it started, with her face just inches from his, Steve stared at her with a stunned expression. “What was that all about?”

The tall woman took a deep breath. “Steve I’ve been thinking and…well, I think….”

After a long pause Steve prodded for her to finish her thought. “You think what?”

She dropped her face and whispered her confession. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you again.”

Steve’s chest tightened. Did he hear what he thought he had heard? It was two years ago that Jaime had lost all memory of their relationship. She had asked if they could start over, start fresh, and see where fate took them. Before sending her to this secluded place they had only had 8 dates to get reacquainted. Could she really be that sure in such a short time?

His heart wanted to explode with happiness but his head quickly reigned him in. “Jaime, you’ve been here, all alone, for a month. I think you are just feeling lost and lonely.”

“Steve this has nothing to do with being here a month alone….except maybe that it gave me more time, without distractions, to think about things.” Her eyes met his. “I was sure before our last dinner date was over. I’m in love with you.”

There was dead silence in the dimly lit room. Steve felt as though he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. After such a harrowing experience could his world finally be turning brighter than he could ever imagine? “Jaime I…..” He couldn’t find the words to tell her how happy he was. Instead he kissed her passionately, holding her tight against him.

The following morning Jaime sat nestled on a padded window seat sipping hot tea. She glanced over at Steve who slept soundly. She blushed as she remembered last night. Nothing could have prepared her for the depth of passion and tenderness he had shown her. Before falling asleep, snuggled together, they both knew how right it had felt.

Throughout the experience Jaime couldn’t help but sense an underlying vulnerability in Steve, at a level almost too deep to see, a vulnerability that had never been there before. She wondered if he would reveal anything today when he explained their urgent need to go underground. As she waited for him to wake her curiosity was eating at her and she thought of possible reasons that would have kept him away for four weeks. Little did she know nothing she could come up with would be as frightening as the truth.

Just before noon Steve began to stir and was surprised to find himself alone in the large bed. A smile played on his lips as he recalled last night’s intensity. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. For the past four weeks he had been emotionally beating down the thoughts of being less than human…of being more machine than a man, trying to maintain some shred of self esteem. But last night, in Jaime’s arms, he reconnected with the human part of himself, making his bionic side almost insignificant again. It felt good, it felt very good.

Over coffee Steve explained everything to Jaime while they shared the wooden swing on the large porch. For her own safety he felt she needed to know how far some would go, even people who were supposedly on their side. She was shocked but held her reaction in check until he was finished. As he described what it was like waking up with the implant, not having control over his actions, she could feel his body tremble. Placing an arm around him as he leaned forward with elbows on his thighs, she listened closely as his voice became almost a whisper.

“Jaime…it was…it was the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had. I can’t tell you….” She watched as he dropped his face in his hands and a shuddering breath exit his chest. All she could do was rub her hand over his muscular back in an attempt to comfort him.

“It’s going to be okay. They won’t find us here.” She squeezed his shoulders. “Let’s just take it one day at a time okay?” Steve silently nodded in agreement unable to trust his voice.

Rudy settled on the chair next to Oscar. The two men were dressed in casual hiking clothes, taking their first vacation in years. The doctor noted the director’s quietness on the flight to Montana and as they waited for their next flight he gently prodded his friend.

“It seems ironic doesn’t it?”

“What’s that Rudy?”

“Well Steve was always trying to get us to come to this place for a vacation and now we are finally going but without him.”

“That was his choice Rudy. He chose to disappear.” The taller man stretched out his legs, stiff from the long flight, and sighed. Steve’s absence had been hard on him even though Steve assured him there were no hard feelings from the situation with Spencer. The OSI agent knew how hard Oscar and Rudy had tried to help him. Still the former astronaut resigned and seemed to disappear into the populous of the country. Steve thoroughly covered his bases. It was obvious he didn’t want to be found, not then, not ever.

“I can’t believe it’s been five years since we last saw him… or Jaime.” Rudy added.

“Almost five years to the day.” Oscar stated with sadness. “I just hope he and Jaime are out there somewhere together…watching out for each other. Who knows when Spencer might rear his ugly head again.” Rudy nodded silently in agreement, knowing Steve would do anything to protect Jaime.

A thin man dressed in a flannel shirt and dirty jeans ambled up to the pair. “Well gentlemen, it seems today is your lucky day.”

“Why’s that?” Oscar asked.

“Well Jack, our only chopper pilot, fell off his roof and broke a leg yesterday. But I was able to call in a replacement, a local resident, who is taking Jack’s flights until he is back on his feet. He should be here soon so don’t wander off….wouldn’t want a bear to eat ya…they do prefer city folk ya know.”

Rudy chuckled and rested back on his seat. This ‘Shangri-La’ as Steve described it almost 10 years ago was an isolated rustic resort of log cabins in the western high country. The only access was by helicopter or horse back but the peace and quiet was incomparable to anything else. For five days the two men would hunt and fish and relax far away from the bustle of the city, unending meetings and ringing phones. Yes, this would be one vacation to remember. Rudy just wished they had gone with Steve years ago when he had found the place.

The chopper landed on the small improvised helipad outside the ranger station. The station was used as the last civilized stop for visitors. Luckily only a few came through each week. The pilot hopped out and was greeted with a hearty handshake from Cliff. “Thanks for comin!”

“No problem. How many passengers?”

“Just two.”

Oscar and Rudy was wandering around the small building, sipping warm coffee, as they waited for their ride. It was Rudy who first noticed the helicopter landing. He was studying the tall, broad-shouldered pilot who was standing with his back to them as he conversed with the Ranger. With the 2 day stubble and well-worn baseball hat it was hard to see the facial features but the stance and the way he moved seemed very familiar to the doctor.

“Oscar come here a minute.”

The taller man stood beside his travel companion as he spoke. “Do you notice anything familiar about that man?”

“Well Cowboy they are all yours… Although I’d stick close to the radio if I were you.”

“Why’s that?” He asked with a raised brow.

Cliff chuckled. “Because you may be bringing them back to civilization tomorrow. I get the feeling the most ‘roughing it’ these citified boys have done is stay at a hotel that didn’t have room service.”

The pilot’s brows furrowed, “So why did they come here then?”

Cliff shrugged. “I don’t know…they said something about a friend of theirs highly recommended it.”

“Oh yeah, who’s their friend maybe I met him when he was here.”

“I doubt it. They said he was here 10 years ago… a former astronaut or something. Can you believe that? What would an astronaut be doing hanging around here anyway?”

Steve’s heart dropped into his stomach. He casually moved to the opposite side of the chopper giving the impression he was checking the tail rotor. Hidden by the tail of the helicopter he focused his bionic eye on the small building and his world crumbled.

Taking a deep breath to slow his racing heart Steve straightened up, readying himself to face his fate.

“Well here they come. Good luck!” Cliff turned and walked back to the station.

Oscar and Rudy ambled slowly towards the blue helicopter that was hired to transport them to their cabin. They were in agreement that the man standing only 20 feet before them may in fact be someone they knew well.

Steve moved around the tail section and looked at his friends, noting how much they seemed to have aged in the last 5 years.

Both passengers dropped their bags and stopped dead in their tracks, seeing the sharp blue eyes staring at them. No one knew what to say, how to break the ice after such a long time.

“Steve.” Rudy held out a hand in greeting. Steve stared at it for a moment, all the memories of the last few weeks of his former life filling his head as if they happened just yesterday. Slowly he reached out and clasped the hand.

“Welcome to Overlook Mountain. You can call me Cowboy, everyone else does. I don’t use ‘Steve’ anymore.” Steve stated matter-of-factly as he grabbed their bags and stowed them securely. He wasn’t about to reveal his new name, an identity he wished to keep hidden from his friends and the outside world.

“I can’t believe you’re standing here.” Oscar commented with awe. “Do you realize how much time I spent trying to locate you?”

“Let it go Oscar.” Steve whispered. “Are you two ready to go?”

The two dark heads nodded, unable to find words to fill the gap.

Steve flew the rotorcraft over the immense evergreens to the only vacant cabin left for the season. During the silent flight he was well aware of the tension in the air, the eyes staring at him from behind. ‘Why of all places did they have to come here after all this time?’ He thought to himself.

He deposited the two vacationers at their site and wished them luck. Without another word he hopped back onto the chopper and lifted off, leaving his two passengers speechless at the unexpected find.

Oscar and Rudy talked of nothing but Steve and Jaime the rest of the evening, recalling fond memories and tense situations that sometimes involved all four of them. It was a bittersweet evening and soon the two headed to bed.

It was late when Steve finally headed home. After dropping his longtime friends off he had taken a long hike to sort out his thoughts. Arriving home Steve was anxious and Jaime immediately picked up on it. As he sat in his favorite chair by the fireplace she stood next to him, running a hand through his thick brown hair.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen today?” She had not seen Steve so stressed in many years. “Hope is already asleep so if you want to talk...” She wanted to assure Steve they would not be interrupted by their blonde, blue-eyed, 4 year old daughter sleeping in the back bedroom. “And I think your son might even sleep through the night tonight.”

Steve pulled his wife onto his lap and wrapped her in a protective embrace. She rested her head on his shoulders and waited silently for him to share what was on his mind. After taking a deep breath Steve finally spoke. “I covered Jack’s flights today and picked up two guests at the station.”

“And?”

He let out another long exhale. “The guests turned out to be Rudy and Oscar.”

Jaime jumped from his lap and exclaimed in a hushed tone, “Oh my god, you’re kidding! How did they find us?”

“Jaime calm down. They didn’t know we were here until I showed up. I mentioned this place to them a decade ago. They never seemed the least bit interested in coming here so I thought we would be safe. I guess I was wrong.”

“Do they know our new names? Where we live?”

“No I didn’t tell them anything.”

Jaime dropped onto the couch thinking of how this situation could change their lives, lives that took years to get comfortable with. She silently wished she could have been there to see her friends. She had missed them over the years. Glancing at Steve she wondered if she could see them.

Steve got to his feet. “I’m going to bed.”

She rose and moved with him to the bedroom. Both got ready for bed in silence, each lost in their own thoughts of whether to stay or move away to another location. The tired couple fell into restless slumber only to wake within hours when Steve revisited an old nightmare causing him to toss and turn in his sleep, his voice angry and frightening. Jaime had gotten used to the night terrors and woke him gently. Her soothing hand stroked through his hair until he fell back to sleep. There was no doubt in her mind that seeing Oscar and Rudy was the cause of his nightmares returning after all these years.

The couple spoke at length over breakfast the next morning. Steve knew Jaime had missed her former life over the past few years as he did. When she spoke of possibly visiting with Oscar and Rudy he saw her big blue eyes sparkle with hope. He gave her a lopsided grin, not wanting to deny her this wish. They both agreed that they could not change the situation which caused their identities to be exposed. Why not take the time to visit with old friends before they left. Then they could decide where they would go from there. Kissing her goodbye Steve promised to talk with Oscar and Rudy, with the intention of inviting them to dinner at their home. Steve just hoped he wasn’t making a big mistake.

The two infrequent campers made quick work of catching their lunch with their fly rods. As they slowly made their way from the stream to their temporary home they heard the thumping of a helicopter. Both exchanged grins as the large rotorcraft landed nearby.

Steve made his way to the cabin’s porch, his heart pounding in his chest. His gut told him this may not be a good idea but deep inside he wanted to make Jaime happy. He pushed the wispy, leftover threads of his bad dreams to a dark corner of his mind and moved forward.

Oscar welcomed him into the log home and while Rudy and Oscar sat Steve remained standing near the door, not quite trusting his surroundings.

“Steve, please have a seat.” The offer caused a tense internal struggle for Steve, wanting so much to fall back into a comfortable interaction with his old friends but anxious about letting his guard down.

“Ah…no thanks Oscar. I can’t stay long.” For a moment the former OSI agent considered chastising his former boss for using his real name but felt it wasn’t doing any harm without the confines of the cabin. There was no one around for miles.

“So what brings you out here?” Oscar asked noticing how uncomfortable Steve was around them.

“Well Cliff, from the ranger station, wanted me to make sure everything was okay….see if you needed anything.”

“No I think we’re set.”

Steve nodded in response still wary of divulging information about his new life.

Rudy eyed him carefully, seeing the tension in his shoulders and the tiredness in his face. “We really are glad to see you Steve. How’s Jaime?” He inquired knowing Steve would keep a close eye on her no matter where she was.

Steve nodded. “She’s fine.” The former OSI agent ran a hand over his face, the thought of disappointing Jaime weighing on him. “Actually she’s the reason I’m here.” The two men waited patiently for Steve to continue. “She, ah…..she wants to see you.”

“That’s great Steve.” Rudy responded happily. Oscar was also relieved. “Yeah Steve we’d love to see her.”

“Well, she wanted me to ask you to come for dinner. I can pick you up at 5 pm if that’s alright.”

Oscar got to his feet. “She’s here too.”

Steve nodded again. “It works better for us that way….being married and all.”

“Married!” The pair exclaimed in unison. Steve shot them a small smile. “Yes, married.”

“How long?” Rudy asked with surprise.

“About five years now.” He replied softly.

The doctor stepped forward and offered a hand. “Congratulations Steve. I’m happy for you, both of you.” He looked at Oscar. “I must say the news surprises me.”

Steve let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah…well…it surprised me too at the time.” He moved to the door. “Well, I’ll be back at 5.”

“We’ll see you then.” Oscar added and the two men watched Steve walk back to the chopper and take off.

“Well imagine that…Steve and Jaime married.” Rudy stated matter-of-factly. Oscar, standing beside him nodded silently. The two vacationers couldn’t wait until they could visit with their friends that evening.

Jaime put great care into every minute detail as she prepared the large dinner for the awaited visitors. It had been a long time since she and Steve had friends over for dinner and she smiled thinking about what the night would bring. She hadn’t felt this excited in a long time. Off handedly she wondered if Steve was looking forward to this dinner as much as she was. The forced smile on his handsome face as he left was obvious to the one who knew him so well.

On his short flight to the northern cabin Steve’s gut was in a knot. He had never been an overly cautious man. If he had he would have never become a test pilot. No, he knew what he was nervous about. He just couldn’t discern how much of his fear was exaggerated, his nightmares feeding his tension.

He took a deep breath as the isolated cabin came into view. He reminded himself that he and Jaime were taking the necessary precautions and the ground rules for the visit were clearly understood.

At no time would they refer to each other by their new names which they had used for five years. ‘Honey’ or ‘Darling’ would do, of course falling back on their old names was also an option. As for the children…the parents agreed to just use their nicknames for the children as to not let their actual identities slip.

A small smile drifted across the pilot’s face as the chopper gently settled on the dirt, recalling the talk with his daughter. He explained that she was not allowed to tell the visitors her name. Hope was a smart child and after asking many, many questions she finally agreed to her father and mother to keep her name a secret. While putting her to bed Steve tested her and she passed every time.

Oscar and Rudy moved quickly under the still spinning blades of the rotorcraft. They eagerly hopped into the rear seats with smiles on their faces.

“Hi Steve.” They said and got a stern glare from their friend. Rudy quickly apologized. “Sorry… habit.”

The flight was made mostly in silence. Steve took them on a longer, out of the way, flight hoping to hide the exact location of his home, not knowing if it would work. He suspected Oscar would do his best to memorize the route.

As they settled onto the ground and Steve shut down the engine the two passengers took in the large cabin that was more than twice the size of theirs, at least 1500 square feet. Jaime’s touch was noticeable in the brightly colored flowers in boxes below the windows. There was also a long porch that faced west. On the roof was a radio antenna and what looked like a UHF antenna. The three opened their doors to disembark. Steve was out first and waited for his friends to close their doors before speaking to them in a firm tone.

“Jaime and I do not want you to ask our daughter any information about us or our life here. That includes her name. Is that understood?”

The two guests glanced at one another, surprised to hear there was a child, before turning back and nodding their understanding. “Okay.” They said in unison. Both were still trying to get comfortable around their old friend that had built huge walls around him and his family.

Steve reached up, seeing the small notepad peeking out of Oscar’s breast pocket when he glanced at Rudy, and swiftly removed it before Oscar realized what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” Oscar asked, wondering how Steve knew what he had been doing as he sat behind him during the flight.

The tall man saw Steve give him a raised brow as he opened it and flipped through a few blank pages then tore out the middle ones with abbreviated directions of where to locate his cabin. Steve handed it back to his former boss. “I’m serious Oscar. I don’t want to move my family again but I will if I have to.” Steve’s determined blue eyes bore into the narrow brown ones that seemed apologetic. Oscar nodded and opened his mouth to reply, “Steve…I just…” A high pitched voice cut through the air pulling the three men’s attention to the cabin beyond the now still rotor-blades.

”Daddy!” Coming around the cabin as fast as her little legs could carry her, Hope pounced into her father’s arms.

“Hey little one!” After kissing her soft cheek he turned to introduce the two men. Steve could feel her little body shrink shyly against his chest as he held her.

“This is Mr. Oscar and Mr. Rudy.” Both men smiled at the adorable little girl with the loose platinum blonde curls and dark blue eyes. They were concerned when she immediately whispered into her father’s ear which brought a lopsided grin to Steve’s face.

Steve looked at his offspring, trying to hold back a chuckle. “No, not like the grouchy Oscar on TV that lives in a trash can.”

Jaime, with her back to the door, was dropping a few pieces of soft, ripe pear onto the white plastic tray of her son’s highchair. He squealed his happiness which was accentuated by the kicking of his chubby legs. Hearing the sound of footfalls combined with muffled voices she turned just as the door opened.

Hope immediately wiggled from her father’s hold and moved quickly to her mother, calling to her excitedly.

Jaime’s eyes fell upon the close friends she had missed for the past five years. Forcing tears below the surface she smiled at her guests as her daughter pulled her by the arm towards the men at the door.

“Mommy….this is Mr. Wudy and Mr. Oscar,” She stated with confidence then lowered her voice to a whisper and added, “But not the Oscar from Sesame Street.”

Jaime glanced down at her daughter, placing a gentle hand on her golden hair, before stepping toward two of the most important men in her life. Without a word she wrapped her arms around Rudy’s neck, embracing him tightly which he reciprocated. Oscar waited his turn and was rewarded with an equally affectionate hug.

Stepping back she wiped an errant tear from her face. “It’s so good to see you.”

Oscar and Rudy smiled warmly and assured her the feeling was the same for them.

Jaime glanced at Steve, seeing his tense posture, then welcomed the visitors into the house when the youngest Austin demanded attention. Steve swiftly moved to remove his son from the elevated chair he was determined to climb out of.

“Okay Buddy, okay.” He addressed him in a soft tone and gathered the almost toddler into his arms. Jaime led Oscar and Rudy to the two with Hope following close behind.

“So I assume this one is yours also.” Rudy teased, seeing Steve’s features already on the small face.

Jaime noted how Steve unconsciously tightened his protective hold on his offspring, turning slightly away from Rudy. She stepped closed and with a reassuring hand on Steve’s shoulder smiled at Rudy.

“This is our son. We usually just call him Junior because he acts just like his father.” She nodded to Steve to relax a bit. “He missed his nap today and I was planning on putting him to bed.” Steve relinquished his hold as Jaime pulled the child to her chest and excused herself.

Steve watched her move out of sight, his hands shoved into his pockets. Feeling a bit on display he offered drinks which were accepted.

Dinner went smoothly, although Steve had to keep reminding himself that this was the right thing to do. Just seeing Jaime’s face radiate her happiness was worth his inner turmoil. As the adults sat at the large oak table, sipping their after dinner coffee and talking, Hope sat on the floor playing with her dolls which were scattered around her and on the couch. Occasionally either Steve or Jaime would glance her way, especially when she became too quiet.

Oscar was distracted during the meal, hoping against hope that he could convince his friends to come out of hiding. Considering them the closest thing to family he had, he had missed them horribly.

There was a long break in the conversation when Oscar took his chance.

“Steve, over the years, have you ever considered returning to your old life?” He eyed his friend trying to appear casual.

Steve glanced at Jaime. That very topic came up frequently in conversation between the pair. He slowly placed his cup on the table before answering. “The subject has come up from time to time.”

Oscar commented innocently. “I bet Helen and Jim miss you both and probably wonder if you are both okay.”

Steve’s eyebrow rose and his eyes locked onto those of his former boss. He knew exactly where this conversation was heading and he fought to keep his anger in check.

Jaime saw the instant change in Steve’s demeanor and without thinking answered the question. “We have kept in touch with them over the years.”

Both Oscar and Rudy were unable to keep the shocked expression from their faces at the simply reply. Steve voice traveled across the table in a low tone. “You need not worry about us or my parents Oscar.” He had hoped Oscar would read between the lines and redirect the conversation but the OSI Director had a goal.

“Steve….” He began slowly. “I understand how the events leading up to your resignation must have affected you but it’s been five years. Do you really plan to hide out forever?”

Steve glanced over his shoulder to assure himself his daughter was not picking up on the conversation. He answered the question in a forceful whisper. “I don’t care what you THINK you understand Oscar. I am well aware of how those ‘events’ affected me and I don’t ever want to face that situation again with me or Jaime.”

“Steve, what if Spencer was gone?” Steve’s head came up in a snap and Jaime’s eyes grew hopeful.

“I already know he resigned Oscar. It happened before I was even released from the hospital. Unfortunately I can’t trust that he won’t be brought back at anytime.”

“He’s not coming back Steve.” Oscar offered.

“You can’t be sure of that.”

Rudy eased into the delicate discussion. “He is sure Steve.” Steve’s expression asked for clarification so Rudy continued. “He’s dying Steve.”

“Good.” Steve mumbled in response. “I hope it’s a slow, painful death.”

Oscar moved the talk forward, seeing the conflict in Steve’s eyes. “Steve, you and Jaime would be safe to come back to Washington or California. Spencer doesn’t have much longer to live.”

Jaime leaned forward on her elbows. “How long?”

Rudy responded. “Days…..Lung Cancer.”

Steve’s chest was tightening. The thought of his children having grandparents to love and spoil them not to mention how happy his parents would be to have the children available to them was in combat with his fear of being controlled and helpless. He was suddenly becoming overwhelmed with emotion. He already knew Jaime would jump at the chance to return to their previous lives, only staying with him in the wilderness out of love. He couldn’t even look at her, knowing he would lose all control.

He quickly stood and turned away, seeing Hope dozing on the couch. “Excuse me I need to put our daughter to bed.” In seconds he was carrying his sleepy child down the hall.

Two pairs of brown eyes fell upon Jaime who let out a heavy sigh, completely understanding Steve’s dilemma. Oscar reached across the table and placed his large hand over hers. “Jaime, please come back.” He stated softly.

The young woman offered a weak smile. “Gentlemen, you have to understand what you are asking. What Steve went through…..I don’t know how he handles it as well as he does.”

“But Jaime you could have your life back…family…friends. It’s been 5 years surely he has come to terms with what happened.”

Tears filled her eyes as she tried to make them understand the struggle Steve had and her willingness to support him anyway she could. “No…no he hasn’t.” She looked up to see Rudy’s concerned eyes locked on her face, hanging on her words. “He had horrible nightmares for months after coming here. They slowly lessened until he only had them maybe once a month.”

“That’s good.” Rudy assured her.

She tried to smile as she explained recent events. “Then when he saw you two again….at the ranger station…they started back up again…every night.” She looked at the two men at the table. “Sometimes I can’t stand to see the emotional pain he goes through.”

“Jaime,” Oscar began softly. “Surely you understand things would be different if you returned. Do you want to spend the rest of your life here?”

She smiled genuinely, her eyes shining bright with the love she had for Steve. “I am his wife and I love him very deeply. If there is anyone, anyone at all, on this Earth that could understand how his experience with Spencer affected him it’s me. I will support whatever he wants to do. If we do return to our pervious lives it will be because Steve feels safe in doing it.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed Steve tucked the pink blanket around his sweet child, her chest rising and falling rhythmically as she danced with the sandman. His heart melted at the sight of her angelic face, kissing it gently on the soft cheek. He silently wished she hadn’t remained asleep as he brought her to bed, hoping he could avoid the guests a little longer with the excuse of needing to read his oldest child a story. With a heavy exhale he gently stood up and moved noiselessly to the door.

Wanting to delay further prodding from Oscar Steve moved to his son’s room. His heart filled with love at the sight of his namesake. Although he loved his daughter every much as his son he felt slightly more connected to his son….soon they would share activities that Steve had shared with his father……hunting, fishing….His thoughts trailed off and he felt remorse enter his chest. What was he keeping from his father…and from his mother for that matter? They were great parents and would be incredible grandparents….if he would just let them.

Steve leaned down into the crib and placed a tender kiss on his son’s head followed with a caress on the soft light brown hair. His words drifted from his lips and carried in the darkness. “How can you be so selfish Steve?”

As the former OSI agent moved down the hallway he was relieved to hear the conversation in the family room had moved onto more trivial matters. Jaime handed him a cup of coffee as he settled next to her on the couch. Oscar and Rudy sat in chairs facing the couple as the relaxed conversation moved ahead.

Soon the time came and Steve flew his guests back to their cabins. Jaime promised to see them again before they left the mountains. After hugs were exchanged with the former school teacher the men left the cabin.

Jaime watched as the chopper lifted off and suddenly felt the tears pour down her face unhindered. Going into the warmth of the house she dropped into her favorite chair and wept for the years that had passed.

Steve returned quickly and found his wife asleep, curled up on a chair. He smiled at the sight and moved to carry her to bedroom. Getting a closer look he saw the tear tracks that had yet to dry. His heart clenched in his chest knowing it wasn’t only his children who were missing out on a normal life.

Gently lifting the sleight woman into his arms he carried her to their bedroom. She came out of her doze and placed loving arms about Steve’s neck and a kiss on his cheek.

“What was that for?” He asked as he lowered her into a sitting position on the bed.

“Just because.” She smiled and began getting herself ready for bed.

The next day there was long discussions about their future. Steve had shared his feelings about keeping his children from their grandparents and Jaime was relieved to know the topic was now on the table for discussion. They tossed about the options they had…returning to their previous lives as themselves, returning to civilization but in a different state using their false identities, or staying where they were and having friends and family visit them.

At times the conversations were slightly heated as emotions ran deep on the topics at hand. Finally that evening when the sun began dropping below the mountain Steve sat alone on the porch, the serene view having a calming affect on him. He picked up the writing tablet from the small side table and began writing. It would take three tries before he was satisfied, still in the habit of writing as if he was a distant acquaintance of his parents instead of their only son, wanting to err on the safe side.

Dear Helen and Jim,

I know I haven’t written much lately but I’ve been busy. Recently some old friends have visited us unexpectedly. Rest assured all is well with my family.

I wanted to let you know we will be visiting Ojai soon. Unfortunately I cannot give you an exact date but it will be before the holiday. I’ll be in touch.

Sincerely,
Jim Carlson

Steve smiled at the signature he had always used to contact his parents over the years. He had chosen ‘Jim’ because he respected his stepfather. As for the last name….it was obvious.

Folding the white sheet and placing it into the envelope he smiled knowing how excited his parents would be when they received it. He stood to enter the house and found Jaime at the doorway watching him, still unsure what would be decided. She gave him a warm smile which he returned.

“I think you better start the packing or we’ll never get back home until after Christmas.”

Her blue eyes grew large and filled instantly with tears as she threw herself into his arms. Steve held her close knowing that whatever their future held they could face it together.

It only took two weeks for the young couple to pack up their belongings, once again their bionics coming in handy for moving. As they said goodbye to the rangers at the station Jaime dropped one last letter into the mailbox. She smiled remembering what Steve had written.

Dear Mom and Dad,

We are on our way to Ojai. Your grandchildren cannot wait to meet you face to face. Expect us on Dec 23rd. Jaime and I love and miss you both.

Your son,
Steve