Rating: Eh, PG. We'll keep it tame for a little longer.
Summary: Okay, so you aren't completely lost if you neglected my part one and two (which you should read!), Dawson and Joey are trying to salvage their friendship and Pacey set it up so they spend some quality time together. Jack is worried about Andie, who misses Pacey like crazy. She has started hanging out with a completely new crowd who likes to party and she's trying to figure out how to get her life back in order. Henry is finally successful in his pursuit of a reluctant Jen. That about covers it.
Looking In On You Part Three
Dawson was determined to watch the movie and not watch Joey. He could sense her every move, though, and it was driving him crazy. Every shift in the way she was sitting, every movement of her hand, he was aware of everything she did. He finally gave in to the impulse and looked at her. His eyes ran over her outline once and he turned back towards the movie, now squeamish. He had a hard enough time keeping his hands off of her when she was his, and now that he couldn't have her, it was even worse. Short memories of holding her, kissing her, groping her... filled his mind. He tried to push them away at first, but then welcomed them when he couldn't fight them any more. "Dawson..." she whispered. "Dawson..."
"Dawson, are you paying any attention to the movie?" Joey poked him. His skin tingled. "How are we going to have fun if you don't watch the movie we're going to analyze afterwards?"
"I can think of some ways," he answered softly.
"Yeah, like what?" Dawson was thrown for a loop by Joey's response.
"Um..." he searched for a quick answer to her question that wouldn't sound suspicious. "Ice cream!"
"Ice cream?"
"Yeah, we'll get ice cream after the movie's over, okay?"
"Sure, whatever," Joey grinned and turned her attention back to the screen. Dawson silently let out a sigh of relief and looked back at the movie, but couldn't turn his attention back to it. Words he wanted to say to Joey filled his mind, but he turned to give her one more glance and realized now was no time to say them. He wondered where Pacey was...
“No one, Grams. No one.” She gave her grandmother a pitiful look and went up to her room. She picked up the cordless phone on her bed and dialed. “Hey,” she said into the mouthpiece.
“Hey,” Jack jumped up at Jen’s voice, knocking the book to the floor.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m—-" Jack paused. “I’m reading Andie’s diary.”
“Put that down! Why would you do that? If that was my diary, I’d kill you. That’s for me, not you, unless I give it to you. Those stupid cheesy ones come with a lock and key for a reason.”
“I needed to know she was okay, Jen. I had good intentions, really.”
“What did you find?”
This is so ridiculous. It’s been almost a month since we broke up and I still miss him like crazy. He doesn’t even talk to me anymore, which I’m going to try and fix today, probably with disastrous results knowing the way I fix things like this. I had a dream with him last night. I was in this weird place doing something and I didn’t even notice (for a change) that he was around. He was going to say hi, but some random person came up to him so he just nudged me. The person went away and I was talking to him for a minute and then I went to kiss him on the cheek. At first he was trying to pull away, but then he surprised me by turning his face to kiss my lips. I started to French kiss him and he finally pulled away and looked down. I whispered I miss you and he started crying and said I miss you so much too. Then weird dream things happened and he said something about turning into a unicorn in ten days.
I tried so hard not to write about Pacey again. But I suppose since I think about him almost more than anything else, it is fitting I write about him, too. It won’t stop hurting, and it’s not getting any easier. Seeing him everyday doesn’t make gradual getting over, it makes things harder. I keep myself so busy, but I’m alone for 15 minutes and I’m crying. Not a lot, either, because I don’t want anyone else to know, so I have all this pent up angst that I can’t get rid of. I’m too emotionally exhausted, I don’t know hot to act, what to do, I simply can’t deal with this anymore. I feel like I’m just broken, mentally and physically. I just don’t work anymore… I need a vacation. At least when I’m with Millie and Jaime and them, nothing reminds me of him. They’re really cool, I’m glad I started talking to them. They understand me, at least as much as they can when I don’t even understand myself right now. We have fun, something I haven’t had in what seems to be a very long time.
“I only read a few pages. She’s so lost. It’s sad, she’s just so lost. I would read it to you, except that would really be violating her privacy.”
“Okay, did you at least find what you needed yet since you know if you don’t put that down right now I’m going to come over and take it away from you?”
“Yeah, I did. She’s good. No matter what her facade is, she’s still Andie. She likes those people, but she doesn’t really want to be like them.”
“Okay, well I called for a reason actually.”
“Yeah, Jenny? A reason? Ooh, what happened this time?”
“Henry came over again…” Jack let out a hoot of laughter.
“Again? What is this, the third, twelve, forty-second time now?”
“Third,” Jack could hear the smile in Jen’s voice. “He got me this time though. Wore me down.”
“He got under the skin of the great Jen Lindley. Hmm, I must take lessons from him, he’s damn persistent.”
“I figured once we have a date he’ll see I’m not this perfect angel he wants me to be and it will be better than him being in this over dramatized ‘ohhhh, Jen won’t give me a chance… oh woe is me’ thing.”
“Can I ask you something, Jen?”
“Of course.”
“Who are you more afraid of saying Jen is not perfect to? Henry or Jen?”
“Put the diary away, Jack.”
“Night, Jenny.”
“Night.”
“Why did you come to this thing?” Pacey asked.
“My friends invited me.”
“Your friends.. we were still supposed to be friends.” Andie gave Pacey an annoyed look.
“What are you talking about? You said hi to me a whole one time after we broke up? Staying friends was never an option."
“Why not?” Pacey tilted his head and Andie noticed it didn’t wobble. For someone who had more than a few beers, Pacey seemed really aware of everything.
Because I care about you more than you care about me and it just wouldn’t work, Andie thought. “I don’t know,” she replied after a moment.
“At this very moment, Joey and Dawson are redeeming themselves at the movie theater,” Pacey stated proudly.
“I highly doubt that, it’s like three in the morning,” Andie smirked.
“Maybe they’re still there. That Dawson can be much slyer than anyone gives him credit for, you know.” Andie sat down besides him.
“Yeah?” she asked. She hadn’t had a conversation with Pacey since they had broken up. She had forgotten how nice it could be.
“Yep. I kind of arranged it that way, too.”
“They were friends to begin with, though. We never were.”
“That’s okay. I know you, McPhee. We’d make good friends.” Andie kind of gave him a half smile, not sure where to go with this.
“You think we could?”
Pacey started to nod and then seemed to forget what he was talking about. “Where did everybody go, anyway?”
“I don’t know,” Andie whispered. She had forgotten anyone else was there to begin with. She slowly, unsteadily, rested her hand on his back, ready for him to jump away from her. He didn’t. In fact, he didn’t say anything at all. She looked into his eyes, she wasn’t sure what she saw. She saw something familiar in the way he was regarding her. She had to do it, she needed to know what would happen if she did. So she kissed him, finally doing what she had been dreaming about doing since he left her alone.