Spoilers: Nopers
Rating: PG-13
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted this next part. Last time Spike and Drusilla came back to town, Joey found out that Jen is a Slayer, and Angel came back to find Buffy.
Far From Home 12
"Angel? Am I dreaming?" Buffy frowned.
"No," Angel assured her.
"But I killed you."
"I know. It's okay. Please let me in." Buffy wondered if it could somehow be a ruse to leave her defenseless. She opened the window to put her hand on his cheek. "I've missed you," he murmured, covering her hand with his. She noticed the ring on his pinkie and withdrew her hand immediately.
"Angel, it is you. How is that possible?"
"I'll tell you what I think is going on. Just invite me in. I want to see you."
"Come in," Buffy said weakly, opening the window wide enough to allow his entrance.
"Oh, Buffy," Angel said, walking toward her with outstretched arms. Buffy backed away from him.
"No. Stay there."
"Wh-- why? What's wrong?" Angel asked, confused and hurt.
"The minute I get you back I'm going to find out it was all an illusion or something," Buffy said, her eyes brimming with tears. "I finally let go of you. I couldn't handle thinking I got you back and then losing you again. I just can't deal with that. Stand over there near the door and tell me why you're here." Angel looked at Buffy sternly for a moment but obeyed her.
"Buffy," Angel said, fiddling with the ring, "do you know what hell was like for me? Because I'm a vampire all that fire stuff didn't affect me. They needed to find something to apply to my human side. So they did. I was in a room where I could see you. I could hear you. But I couldn't touch you or speak to you or comfort you or help you. That was the worst torment I could imagine, Buffy. I wanted to help you so much. I wanted to stop the pain I had caused you. And then they got into my head that you forgot me, you had given up on me, but I watched you and you never did. Of course, I wanted you to move on if it would make you happy. I want you to be happy. I just hoped you wouldn't forget me and let me whither away to nothing. Finally I found I could talk to you in dreams. I tried to find a way to when you were conscious. First I missed and spoke through Dawson to Joey. I watch the people around you, also. Anyway, when you went to the beach with Pacey, I could talk through him, I had enough hope left that you still loved me, and to escape I knew I had to get you to that beach."
Buffy was slowly edging closer, absorbing his story, but, more importantly, drinking in the tone of his voice. She could not accept that he was real yet, though, and took care not to move too closely.
"When you gave up on me, my hope was dashed. I had nothing. I'm back but the reason I'm here is because they're mocking me. They can't pull me back into the dimension but they figured here where I can see you, fell you, they figured actually living again in this world without you is a far greater torture than anything they can inflict on me. But they outsmarted themselves, Buffy, and we can be together now. I'm here, and I still love you more than everything."
Buffy looked at Angel. She was afraid, but it wasn't of losing him again. She was afraid of all the pain she was going to cause him. She was afraid because he loved her too much. It just wasn't right that his feelings were so intense that she had such power to be the cause of his hell... It was the same power he had to put her through hell as he had been for the last few months.
"Oh, Angel," she ran into his arms. "Angel, God, I love you. I love you." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed as tightly as she could. She opened her eyes and raised her face to his, but she didn't kiss him. Instead, she just watched him. She looked into his eyes and gently rubbed his nose with her. They stared at each other intensely before their lips finally met. Buffy pulled Angel as close as she could, but she kept her eyes open. She had to watch him. She felt the familiar ache of desire go through her body as he parted her lips with his tongue. She had missed him. He slipped his tongue into her mouth slowly, and he simply brushed the tip of her tongue with his, sweetly teasing her. The continued exploring each other for a long time until Buffy was too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to continue.
"Come to bed," she pleaded. "Sleep with me."
"No, I have to be careful. One moment of complete happiness can destroy everything, and when I'm with you, that's hard to surpress." Buffy shook her head.
"No, I really mean just sleep with me. Hold me until morning so I know when I wake up that you weren't just a dream. Please."
"I still have to be careful. That would make me just as happy."
"Think about hell. Tell me about who 'they' are. Please, Angel," Buffy coaxed.
"I can't explain 'they'. They're indescribable because they are like nothing else in this world," Angel laid down next to Buffy on the mattress. She rolled into his arms and clutched him to her body.
"Don't leave again. You can't. You have to stay here with me. I love you so much, I'm lost without you," Buffy said softly. She felt safe in his arms.
"I'm here, Buffy. I'll never leave you. I love you," Angel cradled Buffy gently until she finally fell asleep. She slept peacefully for the first time in weeks.
********************************************
Think everything is set and happy? Think again. Part 13 is on the way. Feedback will get it posted faster.