Far from Home

Disclaimer: Don't own Iris or the Goo Goo Dolls or even the MIDI that appears in this story. Obviously I don't own Buffy or Dawson or any of the characters from their respective shows, either. If you thought I did, I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I own too that you can buy if you want.

Read the rest of the series before you read this and you should be fine.

Far from Home Part 5

Jen absolutely wanted to go back to Capeside. She was homesick and scared. She was also very upset that she couldn't be with her grandmother when she needed her. Jen had left the day after her grandfather's funeral and had not told anyone where she was going. Her grandmother wished her well. Jen was in her room packing.

"I think that it might be a good idea for me to go with you. You know, to speak with your Watcher," Giles said.

"I guess so," Jen answered.

"Jen, how many vampires have you killed?" Xander asked.

"Um... none?"

"Maybe we should come with you!" Willow offered. "You could probably use the help."

"You've only known me a week. You sure you want to do that?"

"I'm all for missing school to slay vampires!" Oz smiled.

"Okay, it's settled. We're all going," Cordelia announced.

"And where will you all stay?" Jen asked.

"We'll split a hotel room or something. Don't worry," Xander said.

"Fine. But how will I explain why I suddenly have five people with me? And how will you explain to your parents?" Jen asked, worried.

"We'll tell our parents that we're going on a field trip. You tell everyone that you went home to New York and brought back some friends for comfort."

"Willow, you're getting good at those cover stories," Oz said.

"Yeah, well, I get lots of practice," Willow smiled.

"Okay, I'll call my Grams and tell her to pick some of us up at the airport and to send a taxi for the rest," Jen agreed.

"Cool," Oz said.

"I've got to go pack!" Cordelia got up to leave.

"That's actually a good idea. Later, Jen," Willow followed her out the door.

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"I'm getting really worried, Jo. I mean, no word from Jen for three weeks!" Dawson said. "What if something bad happened?"

"Look, nothing bad happened. Stop dwelling on it," Joey picked up their dirty plates.

"How do you know?" Dawson frowned. Joey glared at him.

"You know, all you've been doing sinec you got together with me is obsess over Jen. This will never work if you're clearly still hung up on her."

"What are you talking about? I'm not hung up on her anymore at all. I have you now," Dawson smiled dreamily.

"What's that supposed to mean? You have me? You don't own me, Dawson. And it sounds to me like you're saying you needed me to try and forget about Jen."

"Joey, what in the world are you talking about. I meant I love you. You know that. Where are you getting all of these ridiculous ideas from, anyway?" Dawson said, disraught at seeing Joey getting angry at him.

"Ridiculous? You've brought up Jen four times since you got here and you've only been here for fifteen minutes. Honestly, Dawson. I don't think this is going to work anymore."

"I don't understand what just happened here, Jo. Not at all. Why are you fighting with me over something that really is trivial? You're blowing this way out of proportion." Joey looked at Dawson thoughtfully.

"You're right," she finally said. "I am blowing this way out of proportion. But look how we communicate. We don't. We're not friends anyway, we're just... I don't know, we just kiss when no one is looking." Joey shook her head. "This really isn't working."

"We don't communicate anymore? Joey, what are you talking about? We talk all the time. Our analysis of life and movies is just as deep as it ever was. You're right, things have changed. We do spend a lot of the time kissing, but it's because it's new to us and I love kissing you. I love you. And I need you now more than ever. That's changed a little, too. I need you even more than I did before." Joey looked striken for a minute at the last part of what Dawson said. She blinked back her tears and swallowed.

"I have to think about this, Dawson. I just feel like something isn't right. I need to-- I need to go." With that Joey put the plates down, dropped her apron on her seat, and left the Icehouse.

"Joey, wait!" Dawson begged. Buffy sighed and went to go pick up the dishes that Joey had left.

"Dawson, she's not a very hard worker, is she?" Buffy said, trying to lighten the mood. "She leaves me more to pick up after than Pacey, who's always here." Dawson shook his head.

"She just wants a chance to have a normal life," Dawson said emotionlessly. "She doesn't deserve to have to work so hard all of the time." Buffy silently finished picking up the dishes and Dawson got up and left, looking absolutely miserable.

Dawson didn't know why Joey was so upset. He didn't understand why she was suddenly having doubts about their relationship. Things had really been going perfectly. Too perfectly Dawson thought. I don't know, maybe she has PMS or something. Dawson unlocked the door to his house and went to his room. He sighed and put on the radio. "Of course," he said sarcastically as he plopped down on his bed, "the song has to fit the drama of my life. Iris." (Click the name to listen to a MIDI version. It's not totally exact, but it's close enough) Dawson lay motionless as he felt the music.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.

Joey leaned her head on the door and starting mouthing along.

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now.

She started to feel lip tremble and held her breath.

And all I can taste is this moment.
And all I can breath is your life.

"'Cause sooner or later it's over," Dawson softly joined in. "I just don't want to miss you tonight."

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.

"Stupid song," Joey muttered, pulling her knees into an embrace. She closed her eyes.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies.

"When everything feels like the movies," Dawson came in again. Damn straight he thought. "Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive."

"And I don't want the world to see me," Joey echoed silently, "'Cause I don't think that they'd understand." She swallowed.

When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.

"Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun, dun duh dahh," Dawson started. He suddenly heard a stiffled sob from his closet. He flew off of the bed and opened the door. "Joey!" he exclaimed. They looked at each other for a moment before Joey stood up.

"Dawson, I've been thinking," Joey quickly rubbed her eyes. I'm scared. "This... it... I can't make it work, Dawson. I don't even know the problem, how can I fix it?"

"Joey, we'll fix it. I promise."

"No..."

And I don't want the world to see me

"Dawson, I... maybe I-- I don't feel like I can trust you," Joey said weakly.

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.

"Because of Jen? I'm not hung up on Jen, and I don't know why you don't understand that. I'm not, Joey--"

When everything's made to be broken

"Goodbye," she whispered, allowing the tears to form in her eyes. She was out of the window before he got to her.