TITLE: Twisted Fantasies

AUTHOR: Kelly Rowe

DISCLAIMER: The WWF and all characters belong to the almighty Vince McMahon and the WWFE.

RATING: PG-13 (M/M infatuation).

SUMMARY: Why does Booker T act the way he does.

TIMELINE: Survivor Series to Raw 24/12/01.

DISTRIBUTION: You want you can have it; just tell me where you put it.

NOTES: Booker T's POV.

I don't hate Austin, really I don't. However, I wish that I could, maybe then I wouldn't be living this torment. The truth is I love him, I have always loved him, but still he ignores me… pretends to be happy with Debra. Or maybe he is happy with her and I'm delusional to think that I could be the one for him. Shane warned me not to get a crush on the infamous Rattlesnake, but foolishly I ignored my good friends advice and now I live not only a lie but also one that hurts him… my love.

After Survivor Series and I found myself unemployed, the fantasies seemed to take over. I used to sit there and imagine that I was there with Stone Cold. I tried to call him all the time; eventually he stopped taking my calls… I don't blame him, I guess I was acting like some sort of lunatic stalker. So I called Vince, I figure he is the man, the big boss and he could make Steve talk to me. Instead he invites me down to his office for a chat. I go figuring maybe Steve will be there and surprise me.

Well Steve wasn't there and Vince didn't want to talk about him. In fact he offered me a job… in exchange all I had to do was attack Steve, ruin his chance of getting anywhere in WWF, at keeping his precious title. I balked how could I possibly to that to my darling one. Then Vince pulled out the big guns, about how Steve had been laughing at me, mocking my calls and telling all my private secrets to Angle and The Rock. It made my blood boil and in a moment of weakness I agreed to Vince's terms.

I regret my actions but I can't take them back and now I know Steve truly hates me. And why shouldn't he I attacked him, cost him the undisputed title, broke his truck, and now have been ganging up on him with the help of Boss Man… my new *partner*. Not that he would ever make Steve jealous… Have you seen him sucka?

Christmas was the worst. I had to watch him on the monitor laughing and playing at Ric Flair's party. Sitting on Tajiri's lap asking to whoop my ass, I know I deserve it… in fact I look forward to it, unfortunately he means in the ring in front of the fans and not in my bedroom. Then my angel sang… okay so it was terrible singing, but it stilled my heart. Boss Man caught me staring at him, but I don't care who knows about the love I feel for him… okay I do care. So I made up this thing about being mad at Austin and I picked on poor Maven because he made some innocent comment. Later I heard Steve attacked Vince by pretending to be a Christmas tree and smiled at his genius.

One day I will have him, even if it's only in my dreams or some sort of heaven. Real life has delivered its cruellest blow and I have learned the lesson well. After all you always hurt the one you love.

THE END