TITLE: Teaching Eric Bischoff

AUTHOR: Kelly Rowe

DISCLAIMER: The WWE and all characters belong to the almighty Vince McMahon and the WWE. I only own Samantha and any others I make up.

RATING: PG-13.

SUMMARY: Samantha begins working for Jeff and has to deal with the wrath of a certain General Manager.

SPOILERS: General Raw and PPV ones.

PAIRING/S: Samantha/Jeff, Stephanie/Kurt, Shane/Marissa, Vince/Linda, Lita/Matt.

CONTENT: Light swearing.

CATEGORY: Alternate Universe. Character's POV. Romance/Drama/Action.

DISTRIBUTION: You want you can have it; just tell me where you put it.

NOTES: Part two in the 'Legally McMahon' series.

I'm not really a Hardy enthusiast - even back in the Jeff relationship days I wasn't - so watching Jeff and Matt train together was an eye opener. Gone was the self-importance, the jealousy, all that remained was two brothers who shared the identical passion for the business - the kind of passion my family has, that I have. Not that my presence at the session was exactly welcome, Jeff's girlfriend Beth keeps on giving me the damn evil eye. I have never done a thing to the little bitch and yet here she is giving me - a McMahon - the evil eye. Jeez, Jeff and I were over years ago and I'm not about to make another go for him, what has she got to worry about? Is there something untrustworthy about a McMahon - well me anyway? When the training session is finally over, I somehow earned another dirty look when Jeff headed over to me instead of her.

"So how did I do?" Jeff asked as he approached.

"Great," I reply watching Beth out of the corner of my eye. I keep on expecting her to stab me or something and I make a mental note not to hang out alone in North Carolina, at least not while she's around. What in the hell did Jeff actually see in the scary trifling witch?

Jeff looks at me closely and notices where my eyes are focused and he laughs. He damn well laughs over the fact that I am about to be killed by his psycho girlfriend.

"Are you coming to Raw this week?" he asks.

It had been more than three weeks since our initial agreement about me working for him and I knew it was time to start, but part of me was scared stiff. I was about to get what always wanted, but I knew deep down inside that daddy and the others won't let me get away with disobeying them. Somehow - probably because I am one of them - I can understand this, I don't like it but I understand it. I don't want to upset anyone, it may not seem like it but I do love them - I don't really like any of them, but I do love them - they're my family.

I stare at the psycho for a moment more, before moving my eyes back to Jeff. "Is *she* going to be there?"

"No," he replies trying not laugh again. Unsuccessfully I might add.

"Fine," I answered him grudgingly. "But don't expect Bischoff to be too happy about it. He doesn't actually seem to like me... even if he *does* seem to *like* my sister."

"So that's what you said to him," Jeff shakes his head. "You're so normal that sometimes I forget that you're one of them."

Great, now he thinks that McMahon is a dirty word too.

"I might've said something to that effect..." I say. I know it's not quite the truth since I said a hell of a lot more than that, but how's Jeff gonna know? Unless of course Bischoff opens his big mouth on the subject.

Jeff opens his mouth to say something else, but psycho-bitch comes over and interrupts. What did she think that I was going to do, jump him in front of her? We were having a civil, business-type conversation. Sometimes I seriously wonder why I even bother to try to live a normal life. No one trusts a McMahon and I have a feeling that no one ever will.

Two days later I found myself in Los Angeles for Raw. Did I happen mention I hate California at the best of times - way to sunny and the people are just... well, too much like most of my immediate family - and now was definitely not the best of times. Plus I was all alone, Jeff's damn plane was delayed - at least that was his excuse when he called. So basically I am stuck in a state I hate, all by myself and somehow I have to hope that once again Jeff comes riding up on his big freakin' white horse to rescue me - or at the very least get me into the Raw arena without 'The Bisch' finding out.

I knew deep in my heart that we weren't gonna get away with this. Let's face it with my luck it was a miracle we hadn't been caught already. The past three weeks I had been so paranoid at home I thought that daddy was going to have me committed - one little comment on Jeff or the name Hardy was spoken and I would totally freak out. But somehow I survived and now I had to survive the night. Okay, plus I'd have to survive the fall out from my sudden appearance, but only if Bischoff didn't kill me.

A knock at the door sent me running to answer it and to my surprise it wasn't Jeff standing there - or even Matt and his gal pal Lita - it was Bubba Dudley. Why in the hell was *he* here?

"Yeah?" I finally manage to say after like two minutes.

"I'm supposed to take you to the arena, McMahon."

Well jeez he didn't have to sound so thrilled over the prospect. Like I wanted to hang with the Dudley Boyz - all three of them.

I grabbed my purse and gym bag. "Okay, we can go."

Bubba marched down the hallway to where D'von and Spike were waiting for him and I suppose for me too, although their greeting was even chillier than Bubba's initial one. If I somehow made it into that damn arena I was *so* going to kill Jeff for this. If I had wanted to be surrounded by hostile people I would've stayed home and hung out with Stephanie and Shane.

However we did make it out of the hotel and down to the Dudley's car without bloodshed and name-calling - a fact that shocked me beyond belief. But five minutes in the car and I wanted to bitch-slap that little bastard Spike into next week - one more comment on the difference between a McMahon and a slut and I was gonna kill him. Okay on one level his joke was funny and may be slightly accurate, but I am still a McMahon and a vindictive one at that. I was not a good choice to say that too.

When we finally arrive I find a blanket tossed over my head and I pushed to the floor, right next to Spike's feet. I suddenly had only one thing to say - Spike needs to learn how to change his socks. What a stink! I can only assume that either I passed out from the stench - or Bubba sped through security - but suddenly I was free to breathe once more.

Then they had the nerve to push me down the corridor - like I wouldn't have run down it anyway - towards Jeff's locker room, which I was shocked to learn was also their locker room. Entering I suddenly started praying for just one thing and it wasn't that Bischoff wouldn't find me. I simply started praying Spike wouldn't take his shoes and socks off - I didn't want to die from a gassing before I had even had a chance to start work.

Luckily for me they dumped me and went off somewhere else. Proof that even an unknown McMahon is not exactly popular around here. Then again who can blame them, they have all worked for my daddy and I'm pretty certain that two of them worked for Stephanie and Shane's crappy alliance. They've been shown my family at their worst - or at least the worst we show in public - if I had dealt with that I wouldn't like or want to talk to me either.

I sat down on the cold, hard wooden bench and sighed. I just knew that disaster was imminent and that tonight was going to be the worst of my life - until I made it home at least.

Jeff finally showed up a half hour before Raw was due to start and let's just say my displeasure showed. I guess I may have been a little hard on the guy, but for Christ's sake I'd been semi-kidnapped by The Dudleys and then been locked in a tiny and stuffy room for close to three hours by myself. So I yelled - as quietly as I could - and he just sat there and let me. God I hate it when he is so fucking reasonable.

When I'd finished my rant, he just looked at me and said, "Glad to have you back." Then he headed off into the bathroom to shower and get ready for Raw.

As if I'm usually that shrewish - at least I hope for my own sake I'm not - but with my genes who truly knows. I sit back down on the bench and try to prevent my rebellious mind from picturing Jeff naked, wet and soapy, which is not an easy task when I'm still half-way obsessed with the guy. So since I have discovered that I have the dirtiest mind of any McMahon alive, I am a quivering mass of jelly by the time he gets out and I suddenly wish I could get the hell out of there - not just the arena, but the country.

Finally Jeff walks out fully clothed - damn it - and I try to go into professional mode. I could pretty much block out the horny thoughts as long as I had something else to concentrate on - like my new job. Taking a deep breath I look up at Jeff, not as the man of my most erotic dreams - and let me tell you he stars in them all - but as my employer.

"So what now?" I ask, letting Jeff know that as far as I am concerned he is in charge.

Jeff shrugs, "I guess you just come out to the ring with me and we see what happens."

I stand up, "I can tell you what happens. Bischoff comes out of his office with his little chief of staff and suspends you and has me escorted from the building."

"Only in the worst case," Jeff replies smiling.

Damn that smile. Why can't he simply be moody and toothless? How am I supposed to be strong against his silly decisions when he smiles at me that way?

"Okay... let's do it."

Jeff grabs my hand and starts to pull me from the locker room, "I knew you'd see it my way."

I can't say the atmosphere was pleasant when I arrived out there - I'd say it was more curious. A lot of the newer superstars had no idea who the hell I was. I don't even think that they knew that Vince and Linda had a third child. So basically there was a lot of whispering - especially since Jeff insisted on holding my hand so I couldn't escape - and a whole bunch of glares from the superstars who did actually know me or at least knew who I was.

We were waiting for Raw to start since Jeff was in the first match of the evening and I of course couldn't be more nervous. Jeff on the other hand had absolutely no shame, he simply stood there chatting with the referee like it was any normal night. I wanted to shake him and yell that it wasn't just any normal night, it was the night where I'd either make it or lose the dreams I had about being in the business.

The next thing I knew Jeff's music hit and I was being dragged out onto the staging area. I have to admit the crowd cheering Jeff's name was electrifying to say the least and I simply followed him down to the ring. Once he had climbed inside he helped me inside and grabbed a microphone. Unfortunately he didn't get a chance to say anything before his opponent for the evening, Chris Jericho, attacked - how rude - without even waiting for his music to hit.

I know why Jericho attacked, because of me. Because he hates my sister *so* much that I am - I guess I am anyway - going to be his new target. I quickly moved from the ring and let Jeff do his wrestling thing. All I could really do was watch... well, that and make sure no chairs mysteriously ended up in the ring.

The match was pretty well even, both of them beating the crap out of the other. However the second Jeff seemed to be gaining the upper hand I noticed a new person appeared at ringside, Christian. I slowly sneaked around to the side where Christian was and did what female McMahon's do best - I slapped him really hard.

Okay, with hindsight I realize that it wasn't my most intelligent moment, in fact it was probably the dumbest thing I had done up to that moment. Although it did give me a whole two second head start before he started to chase me around the ring. Damn my stupidity at wearing heels out to the ring, you just can't run fast in them - well I can't, Stephanie can - so naturally I got caught incredibly quickly. That jackass grabbed me by my hair - no one touches my hair - however I am not exactly in a position to tell him that.

Somewhere in the background I hear a bell ring, but I am struggling to get away from my captor and don't concentrate. So when I find myself on the floor from being suddenly released, I am shocked to look up and see Jericho and Christian arguing over my fallen body. Not that my tiny reprieve was going to last for long, I could see them both reach for me just before Jeff knocked them down and grabbed my hand, pulling me up.

This time he didn't have to pull me along, I was more than ready to get the hell out of there. Unfortunately the plan was screwed, because Chief Morley was waiting in the locker room for us and that was when I knew we were in deep shit.

We were quickly escorted to Eric Bischoff's office and told to wait for him. Great even more waiting, Bischoff certainly knew how to piss me off - without even trying. However we didn't have long to wait, a few minutes later he strolled in ever so casually. At least he looked casual to the observer, I could see his anger bubbling beneath the surface.

"So Miss McMahon... we meet again," he says staring at me. "I thought I'd banned you from Raw."

"Nope, you said that I was banned from the arena a few weeks ago," I answer.

"Then what are *you* doing here and out at *my* ring?"

Jeff decided to answer for me, "She's my new manager."

"Really?" Eric says as he walks around to sit behind his desk, his power position. "So tell my why I shouldn't suspend you for this stunt?"

"Because..." Jeff started.

I interrupt, "It's my fault."

"No it isn't. I hired you," Jeff says.

I hate it when he's all self-sacrificing. "You wouldn't have hired me if I hadn't been whining about how much my family doesn't want me in the business."

"But..."

Jeff is interrupted again, only this time not by me. "You have two weeks to prove you'll be an asset to Raw."

Jeff and I stop arguing and stare at Eric Bischoff like he had grown another head.

"What?"

"I'm giving you a chance. Want it or not?"

"I want," I reply.

Eric Bischoff made a shooing motion, "Get the hell out of my sight."

Jeff and I got up and practically ran from the office and back to his locker room, where we flopped down exhausted and extremely curious about Bischoff's sudden change of heart. For example, does he even have a heart to change?

"What the hell was he on?" Jeff asked breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between us.

"Either he wants to piss my daddy off or he heard..."

"Heard what?" Jeff asks looking at me.

I shrug, "Nothing... it's sort of a family thing."

Jeff shrugs and looks away and damn if I don't feel bad for hurting his feelings. I wish I could tell him what is going on, but I promised not too. Besides he'll know soon enough and so will the rest of the world, a McMahon secret is never a secret for very long.

A few moments pass before Jeff speaks again, "So what now?"

What now? Unfortunately I know what comes now. I have head on home and face the wrath of my parents and siblings over this stunt.

"I go home."

The End