Chapter 31
In the
reflection of the tinted window he checked his bow-tie, straightening it
unnecessarily. Looking down, he picked a piece of lint from his dark trouser
leg and inspected his black shoes for scuff marks. Glancing ahead of them, he
pointed and spoke to the driver. “It’s the building past the intersection on
the right. If you pull up to the front and stop in the loading zone, I’ll run
in. She knows what time to expect me so we shouldn’t be but a minute.”
Once the
driver had parked, McCoy got out and made his way to the security desk of
Morgan’s apartment building. After giving her a quick call, alerting her to
send down the elevator, he headed up.
When the
elevator door opened and he stepped into her apartment, he stopped in his
tracks upon catching site of Morgan across the large room. He stood rooted
where he was and stared as she hurried from the living room toward the kitchen.
Taking
note of his expression she said, “I know, I know – I’m late.” Continuing to
the kitchen, she began searching the countertops and opening drawers. “I had my
earrings in my hand earlier and now I can’t find them. I must have laid them
down somewhere without thinking.” Slamming a drawer closed, she opened the
refrigerator and peered inside. “I had a client drop in unexpectedly at my
office this afternoon and I thought I’d never get away. Then there was an
accident a couple of blocks from here that had traffic backed up for miles. As
scrambled as my brain is the earrings could be anywhere, even in here.”
She
closed the refrigerator door in frustration and turned to face him. He hadn’t
moved an inch and wore the same astounded expression that he had upon entering.
Giving him a puzzled look she asked, “What?”
Shaking
his head slowly he noted, “You look beautiful.”
Morgan
blinked in surprise and looked down at her midnight-blue, floor-length silk
dress. Smoothing the skirt she replied shyly, “Thank you, Jack.” Looking up at
him she added, “You look pretty amazing yourself. I’ve never seen you in a tux
before.”
He took a
few steps and stopped in front of her, his eyes twinkling. “I’m going to have
to keep my eye on you tonight. Otherwise, someone might come along and steal
you right out from under my nose.”
“I don’t
think you have to worry about that,” she countered with a warm smile.
“Are you
almost ready?”
With a
nod she answered, “I just have to go pin up my hair. It will only take me a
minute.”
He
reached to finger a soft lock. “I was just thinking that it looks great the way
it is.”
Morgan
studied him intently, her eyes searching his face. After a few seconds she said
softly, “Well, in that case, I guess all I need to do is brush my teeth.”
“And
maybe put on some shoes,” he suggested, pointing to where the bare toes of one
foot peeked out from under the hem of her dress.
“Aw,
darn. Do I have to?” she asked teasingly.
“Yes, you
have to,” he commanded with a grin. As she started for the bathroom he
advised, “And hurry. Our driver is parked in a loading zone.”
***“Where did you find my earrings?” Morgan asked
as she removed a pearl earring and replaced it with the small sapphire she had
taken from McCoy’s outstretched palm.
“In the
cabinet where you keep the glasses.”
She
rolled her eyes. “I must have laid them in there when I got a drink earlier. I
can’t believe how scattered-brained I can be sometimes.”
He
reached and took her hand. “You have too much on your mind. You need to forget
about everything else for the rest of the evening and concentrate on having a
good time.”
“A good
time at a stuffy dinner surrounded by stuffy people where I have to smile
politely and not appear as though I’d rather be anywhere else on the planet?
Fat chance.”
He smiled
and shook his head. “Now what kind of an attitude is that? Since this dinner is
by invitation only, you should feel privileged to have been invited. There are
people who would pay good money to be in your shoes.”
“You mean
I could’ve scalped my ticket? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she demanded.
“Scalping
tickets is against the law, Counselor,” he noted, trying to appear stern.
“Confessing those intentions to an executive assistant district attorney isn’t
a very wise thing to do.”
“I’ll
take my chances with this executive assistant district attorney,” she
maintained confidently. “What did you do with the invitation you didn’t use?”
“I
offered it to Serena first but she said she didn’t care to spend her evening
sitting in a room full of lawyers. I ended up giving it to one of the other
A.D.A.’s who wanted to attend.”
Motioning
to the driver she asked, “And what made you decide to hire someone to drive
us?”
“I didn’t
hire him. My office supplies a driver for the D.A. when he or she attends
work-related functions such as this one. Since Arthur didn’t need a driver
tonight, I took advantage. I figured that since he roped me into giving his
speech for him, the least he could do is foot the bill for me to be driven. And
I thought it would be a nice change for the two of us. Sort of a special
occasion.”
“Special
occasion? I don’t consider these functions as special occasions. More like a
pain in the neck. You know how I hate crowds and social gatherings in
particular.” She looked at him thoughtfully. “You appear to be looking forward
to the night. That seems a little odd coming from someone who tried for three
weeks to talk his way out of having to attend.”
Lightly
squeezing her hand he acknowledged, “I wouldn’t be looking forward to the
evening if it weren’t for the fact that I get to spend it with you.”
Morgan
gave him the same searching look that she had before, then acknowledged
quietly, “I’m glad you feel that way.”
“Besides
that,” he continued, “it gives me the opportunity to do something I haven’t
done before – to take a spin around the dance floor with you.”
“Oh, no!”
Morgan shook her head, her eyes wide. “Don’t even think about it! I can’t dance, Jack.”
“I’ll
teach you,” he offered readily. “It’s easy.”
“I know
how,” she admitted. “I just don’t do it. I’m a total klutz. People who can trip
over dust should stay as far away from dance floors as possible.”
“Well
I’ll bet that before the evening is over, I’ll be able to coax at least one
dance out of you,” he predicted confidently.
“Don’t
hold your breath,” she advised, equally sure.
***To McCoy’s amusement, Morgan had clutched his
hand tightly with nervousness as they entered the high-rise hotel and searched
out the ballroom. But upon finding it, she had disengaged her hand under the
pretense of adjusting her skirt and had then made no effort to take his again.
Having given him her elevator key and a small tube of Carmex to slip into his
pocket, she hadn’t even carried a purse, which left her hands entirely too
free. As they stood surveying the scene before them she picked absentmindedly
at her nails.
The huge,
brightly lit ballroom buzzed noisily with laughter and conversation. To one
side, round tables dressed in white tablecloths were set with sparkling
dinnerware. Gold-colored candles ringed by dark red roses served as centerpieces
and single rose petals had been randomly scattered on each table, contrasting
sharply against the stark cloth. On the other side of the room, people dressed
in formal wear milled around a parquet dance floor, oblivious to the
instrumental background music being piped through the speaker system. A small
stage and podium stood at the far end of the room half way between the tables
and dance floor.
“Should
we try to find our table first so we have an idea of where we’ll be sitting?”
she suggested.
“Sure,”
he agreed, placing his hand at the small of her back in order to guide her
through the crowded room.
After
wandering briefly and checking the numbered tables, McCoy pointed ahead of
them. “There it is.” Glancing around them he observed, “Good. It’s fairly
close to the stage.”
A man
approaching from their left let out a low whistle. “You clean up well,” he
noted, looking Morgan up and down. “I hardly recognized you without paint in
your hair.”
Morgan
gave him a smile. “I’m glad you made it, Ian. I wasn’t looking forward to
drawing straws to see who would be unlucky enough to take your place as
spokesman.”
“Have no
fear,” he announced, puffing out his chest comically. “I’m here to save the
day.” Nodding to McCoy he said, “Nice to see you again, Jack. How did she
manage to drag you here tonight?”
Glancing
at Morgan, McCoy smiled. “Oh, I was headed in the general direction anyway so
I figured I may as well tag along to keep her out of trouble.”
The man
indicated the woman whose hand he was holding. “Calea Morgan, Jack McCoy, this
is my wife, Cassie.”
McCoy
took her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Sievers.”
“Please,
call me Cassie,” she responded.
Holding
out her hand, Morgan gave her a smile. “Ian is forever bragging about what a
great cook you are, Cassie. Maybe you can share some of your recipes with me.”
“Ian’s
idea of gourmet food is parmesan sprinkled on macaroni and cheese from a box,”
the woman informed her as she shook her hand. “He was a bachelor for so long
it doesn’t take much to impress him.”
“Untrue,
untrue,” her husband protested. “I know good food when I taste it. I must’ve
eaten in every single restaurant in the greater
When they
had walked away McCoy observed, “They seem like a fun couple.”
“Ian is a
character,” Morgan agreed. “He’s also brilliant. He and Malcolm Arturo, whom
you met the first time you worked with us, were instrumental in getting the
group started. They put in a lot of hours before it came to fruition. They
deserve a little recognition.”
“Well,
I’m certainly glad I decided to sit at your table instead of the one I was
originally assigned to. It would’ve been just my luck to have been stuck at the
one with all the ‘stuffy’ people.” Nodding toward the podium he said, “I
should go up and see exactly what time they want me to speak. Want to come with
me?”
With a
nod Morgan turned to accompany him. “I didn’t see any notes. Didn’t you bring
any?”
“No, I
never do. I get plenty of practice at public speaking when I’m in court. I
always memorize what I want to say. When you’re explaining to twelve people why
they should put the person sitting across from them away for life, it kind of
ruins the effect if you have to pause to consult your notes,” he pointed out.
Morgan
let out a laugh. “Sad to say, I have seen attorneys actually do that. It
certainly makes them appear less than convincing.”
From
behind them a voice interrupted. “Jack?”
McCoy
turned around and immediately broke into a broad smile. “Jamie!” he exclaimed.
“What are you doing here?”
As he
moved to warmly embrace her, she replied, “Our work on behalf of the refugees
in
He
grinned at the wisecrack. “I was talked into being a speaker.” He reached to
encircle Morgan’s shoulders with his arm. “I’d like you to meet someone.”
Before he
could introduce her, Morgan smiled and nodded. “We’ve met. How are you, Jamie?”
“I’m
doing well, Calea. And you?”
“I’m
fine, thank you. When is your baby due?”
Ross
patted her protruding stomach. “Not for another two months. I’m convinced it’s
going to be a boy even though the doctor said he couldn’t tell during the
sonogram. I didn’t get nearly this big with Katie. I’m going to need larger
maternity clothes if this keeps up.”
“I’ll bet
David is beside himself,” McCoy noted. “How is he doing?”
“He’s
getting a little nervous at the prospect of being the father of a newborn, but
otherwise he’s doing great.”
Morgan
glanced up at McCoy. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if I can find some
water.” Reaching to lightly touch Ross’ arm she added, “It was good to see
you. We’ll have to get together for lunch sometime soon.”
“I’d like
that,” Ross acknowledged. “Why don’t you give me a call next week and we’ll
make plans.”
“That
sounds good,” Morgan agreed before turning to leave.
Ross
watched McCoy as his eyes followed Morgan. “So, how are things with you, Jack?”
Turning
to look at her he smiled. “I can’t complain.”
“I can
see why,” she suggested with a knowing smirk.
Ignoring
the remark he asked, “How long have you and Calea known each other?”
“We met
several years ago at an insurance presentation for self-employed attorneys. We
ended up having lunch a couple of times and she helped draft some letters to
government officials in the
“Does she
know you used to work in the district attorney’s office?”
“Yes, I
told her soon after we met. She even consulted me before a criminal case she
tried. She had some questions I was able to help her with.”
“She
never mentioned that she knew you. Did you tell her you worked with me?”
“I think
it did come up in conversation,” Ross admitted, glancing around the room.
“David’s around here somewhere. I’m sure he’d love to see you.”
McCoy
regarded her thoughtfully. “You said Calea came to you before a case she
tried?” At Ross’ nod he asked, “Which case?”
“You know,
it’s been a while. I really don’t remember,” she responded vaguely.
After
studying her carefully for another second, his eyebrows arched in realization.
“Son of a…” He shook his head. “It was you! You’re the one who told her about
me!”
She gave
him a look of complete innocence. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking
about.”
“Calea
came to you during the Fairchild case. You told her all about me,” he accused.
“I may
have mentioned your name a time or two…” Ross shrugged.
“Mentioned my name?” he asked incredulously. “She could’ve written my
biography! What didn’t you tell her?”
Ross
smiled brightly. “She asked questions and I answered them. I fail to see the
problem.”
Taking a
step closer he countered in mock indignation, “The problem is I don’t like
walking into a game at a disadvantage. She knew practically everything there
was to know about me and I had no way of finding out anything more than a few
impersonal facts about her. The least you could’ve done was given me a head’s
up.”
With a quiet chuckle she queried, “Now where
would the fun have been in doing that? I thought you could use someone to make
you squirm for a change. And I knew you’d lay awake nights trying to figure out
who had told her about you.”
“I did! I
couldn’t imagine who would’ve done such a thing. It never occurred to me that
someone I considered a friend would do something so underhanded.”
Shaking
her head Ross contended, “It doesn’t look like it hurt you too much.”
“That
isn’t the point,” he argued. “I expect my friends to be a little more loyal
than that.”
“Considering that I saw the two of you come in together, almost three
years after she and I had our little talk, it seems to me you should be
thanking me instead of chewing me out. I obviously did you a favor,” she
insisted.
“I
wouldn’t go that far!” McCoy declared. He then allowed himself a smile and
acknowledged, “But I suppose, all things considered, I could forgive you just
this once.”
“How long
have the two of you been seeing each other?”
“We remained friends after the Fairchild trial
but we really began spending time together a little over a year ago.”
“Well,
I’m happy for you both. She’s a nice person, Jack. The two of you deserve each
other.”
“Thank
you. I’m glad you think so.” Checking his watch he observed, “It looks like
it’s about time to get things started. I should go and find out exactly when
they want me.”
Ross
returned the hug he bent to give her. “Stop by my office sometime soon. After
the baby comes I’m only going to work part time for a while so I won’t have as
much opportunity to visit.”
“I will,”
he promised. “Take care of yourself, Jamie.”
As he
began to head up to the podium she said, “And Jack…” When he turned back to
face her she continued, “I knew Calea well enough to know that she’d be good
for you if you gave her the chance. I wouldn’t have told just anyone the things
I did about you.”
He gave
her a warm smile. “I know.”
***The lights in the room dimmed only enough to
catch everyone’s attention. When the noise level dropped to a more moderate
level and people began to head for their seats, McCoy took a step closer to the
microphone.
“Good
evening. I’m Jack McCoy, Executive Assistant District Attorney of
As Keegan
took his place, McCoy made his way back to the table where Morgan was waiting.
When he
sat down, the eyes of everyone at the table were fixed on him.
Sievers
was the first to speak. In a subdued voice he noted, “Calea said you were a
lawyer, Jack. She didn’t bother mentioning that you worked in the D.A.’s
office.”
Before
McCoy could respond, Morgan leaned forward slightly, looking at Sievers
challengingly. “Does it matter?”
“You bet
it does!” Sievers declared. “For years I’ve been looking for someone who can
take care of parking tickets for me. Next time, don’t keep that kind of thing
to yourself!”
***McCoy
thanked the bartender, then took a sip of his Scotch and water while he
surveyed the room. It was as crowded as it had been upon their arrival, the
only difference being that a handful of couples were moving counter-clockwise
around the dance floor while the band played a sedate rendition of “I’m in
Heaven”. He had left Morgan on her own and mingled for a time, engaging in
conversation with a number of people whom he knew through work or social
functions.
As he
glanced around he spotted Morgan across the room, engrossed in conversation
near where they had been sitting. Taking note of the way the subdued lighting
sparkled against her dress, he decided it was time to settle a bet.
“Of
course we accept monetary donations, but the whole purpose behind getting
involved in our group is to do more than simply write a check,” Morgan
explained to the three people standing with her. “Seeing that your donation was
enough to buy a pallet of sheetrock or carpet for a duplex is much more
gratifying than receiving a quarterly statement from your average charity
showing what percentage of your gift actually made it into the hands of those
for which it was intended. And nothing can beat the feeling you get when you
look around and realize that the room you just finished painting is going to be
the bedroom for three little girls who have never had their own bedroom before.
It adds a whole new meaning to…” She paused mid-sentence and frowned slightly
as something caught her attention. After listening intently a few seconds, a
slow smile lit her face. “If you have any further questions, feel free to call
the organization’s administrator. If you will excuse me, I’m about to lose a
bet.” Amid the confused looks of the others, she turned and headed across the
room.
When she
neared the dance floor, she spotted McCoy waiting at the edge with a huge grin
plastered on his face. Without a word, she walked up and allowed him to take
her into his arms and turn her onto the wooden floor.
“I told
you so!” he gloated, settling into something that resembled a two-step.
Morgan
shook her head. “You only won because you don’t play fair.” Nodding in the
direction of the band she observed, “Bob Seger is a far cry from the elevator
music they’ve been playing. It must’ve cost you an arm and a leg to bribe them
to play this song.”
With a
shrug he admitted, “Just an arm.” Pulling her closer he added, “It was worth
it, though.”
“Because
you won the bet?” she asked pointedly.
“No,
because I get to dance with you,” he countered. “But I did sort of kill two
birds with one stone. Not only did I get you to dance with me, but I also
proved the words to this song to be true.” Looking into her eyes he reminded
her, “I did tell you that someday you would accompany me.”
Morgan’s
eyes were locked with his as she agreed softly, “Yes, you did.” She moved her
hand a little higher up on his shoulder, so that her fingers brushed the hair
at the back of his neck, sending a chill down his arm. “We’ve eaten dinner,
listened to speeches, and engaged in polite conversation. Can we leave now?”
“I
thought you’d never ask. But can we wait until this song is over?”
With a
warm smile she replied, “That goes without saying.”
***“I don’t see why you couldn’t have told me who
it was,” McCoy insisted, setting his glass of water on Morgan’s coffee table.
“After
all that nonsense you gave me about how women can’t keep secrets? I wasn’t
about to give you the satisfaction,” she declared, turning sideways on the sofa
to face him and tucking her legs under her. “Besides, when I saw how much it
was bugging you it became much more fun to keep you guessing.”
“Now you sound
like Jamie. She thought it was funny, too.” He shook his head in mock
indignation. “I’m sure the two of you had a good laugh at my expense.”
“We did,”
she nodded matter-of-factly.
McCoy
chuckled quietly. Glancing around the apartment he asked, “Where are you going
to put your award? On one of the bookshelves?”
“How
about in the drawer with the rest of them?” she suggested.
“You have
other awards? I’ve never seen them.”
“They
aren’t anything to brag about. They’re all for boring stuff. I received most of
them when I worked in
“Still,
I’d like to see them,” he noted.
“I might
show them to you someday.”
“You
know, despite the stuffy circumstances and the stuffy people, I had a great
time with you tonight,” he admitted with a warm smile.
Morgan
crossed her arms on the back of the sofa and rested her chin on them. “Despite
the circumstances, I had a great time too.”
“Do you
still want to go for a ride in the country tomorrow?”
“Sure.
Just let me know when to be ready.”
“I’ll
call you.” He sat regarding her quietly, reluctant to break the spell and end
the evening. It had been such a perfect night…
“Well,
it’s late and I know you must be tired. I’d better call a cab,” he said as he
got up.
He was half
way to the curtain that divided the room when he heard Morgan say, “Jack?”
As he
turned around to face her, she stood up and slowly walked toward him, keeping
her eyes focused on the floor and her arms linked behind her back. When she was
a few feet away she stopped and looked up at him. “You don’t have to leave.”
He took a
step toward her and nodded, pleased at the prospect of remaining a while
longer. “All right. If you’re not too tired, we could watch one of the movies
we rented last night.”
“That isn’t what I meant.” Looking at the
floor again she added softly, “I meant that you don’t have to go home
tonight.”
He stared
at her in astonishment, unsure that he had heard her correctly. “What?”
Morgan
shrugged shyly. “You can stay here if you want to.”
Taking
another step toward her, he studied her closely, still wondering whether his
ears were playing tricks on him. After a few seconds he asked quietly, “Just so
there’s no misunderstanding, you aren’t offering to simply let me sleep on your
sofa, are you?”
“No,” she
responded, equally as quiet.
He
slipped his hands into his pockets, his mind racing. “I’m not…I mean…I didn’t
really come prepared,” he stammered. Realizing how ridiculous the words
sounded, even in his own ears, he finished lamely, “I didn’t even bring a
toothbrush.”
Morgan
nodded slightly. “I understand. It was just a thought.”
Closing
the gap between them in two long strides, he took his hands from his pockets
and placed them around her waist. “Hey,” he said softly, looking down into her
eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. Nothing would make me happier than to spend the
night with you.” Reaching to brush back a few strands of her hair he added,
“Only it seems kind of sudden. You took me by surprise.”
With a
shrug she explained, “You’ve been patient with me, Jack, more patient than I
have a right to expect. You’ve respected my feelings and haven’t tried to
pressure me into doing something I’m not comfortable with. You’ve waited and
given me the time I’ve needed. Not many men would’ve put up with me and stuck
around this long. I want you to know how much that’s meant to me.”
He shook
his head slowly. “I haven’t been simply biding my time, waiting for you to
sleep with me, Calea. I did those things because I care about you.”
“I know.
If I wasn’t absolutely sure of that, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
Searching
her eyes he insisted, “I just need to know this is what you really want.”
“It is,”
she assured him, placing her hands on his chest.
Smoothing
her hair, he gave her a smile. “You won’t have to tell me twice.”
Leaning
down, he gave her a gentle, lingering kiss, entwining his fingers in her hair.
Morgan reached to slide her arms up around his neck, lightly brushing the hair
at the back of his head.
He had always
exercised a measure of self-discipline and kept his hands in what he considered
to be “safe” areas when he had kissed her before, even though he had longed to
allow them to roam freely over her body. But he decided that her unanticipated
invitation had dispelled the need for such restraint. After a few moments his
hand moved down her back, pausing at her waist for only a second before
continuing lower to rest on one firm cheek under the silk dress, then returning
to the small of her back so that he could press her closer to him.
As he
pulled back slightly to look down at her, she kept her arms locked around his
neck, practically standing on tip-toe to reach. He moved his hands carefully up
and down her sides, feeling each rib as she stretched against him. As soft as
the fabric of her dress was, he was impatient to feel the skin it clung to
instead.
Trying
not to appear as eager as he felt he asked, “Would you like to sit down for a
while, maybe listen to some music?”
“Not
unless you want to,” she responded simply.
He shook
his head, his dark eyes intense. “I’m happy right where I am.”
Tightening his arms around her, he bent forward to kiss her again, this
time running the tip of tongue rapidly up and down against her lower lip,
pressing insistently. Under his hands he felt Morgan’s breath catch in
response and her body lean into his.
When he
ended the kiss and Morgan opened her eyes, they were filled with wonder. “What
was that?” she asked breathlessly.
Brushing
his lips against her forehead McCoy replied cryptically, “Just one of many
tricks I have up my sleeve.” Resting his chin on the top of her head, he closed
his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms. The initial surprise he had
felt quickly began to turn into anticipation as he held her.
After
several minutes had passed he looked down at Morgan and put his hand on her
cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “You know that I love you, don’t you?” he
asked, studying her carefully.
With a
slow nod she replied, “Yes.”
“Are you
sure? Because I don’t want there to be any doubt about that,” he suggested
lightly.
“I’m
sure,” she insisted softly.
“Just
checking,” he noted with a smile. After another long, languid kiss, he took both
of her hands in his and brought them to his lips, then turned to lead her
toward the filmy curtain separating the room. He held it back with one hand
until she had passed through before continuing with her toward the bed.
Wrapping
one arm around her, he brushed her cheek and hair with his fingertips, pausing
occasionally to give her light, teasing kisses. Unable to contain his eagerness
any longer, he moved his hands up under her hair and slowly began to slide the
zipper of her dress down her spine, watching her face closely as he did so. But
when he thought he saw a flicker of hesitation in her eyes, his fingers
instantly froze.
“Okay?”
he asked gently.
In
response, she nodded slightly and brought her hands to the front of his shirt
where she began to unbutton it. He stood perfectly still while she did so,
watching her long slender fingers release each button. Only when she reached
the last one visible above the waistband of his trousers did he move to tug the
tail of his shirt free. Morgan continued with the remaining buttons, then
lightly placed her hands on his bare chest through the opening. As she moved
them across his smooth skin he sucked in a breath.
Reaching
behind her, he continued to unzip the dress and then slid it from her shoulders,
pausing to place a kiss on one before pushing it from her arms. The silky
material slipped from his fingers and the dress fell to the floor with a whisper, revealing the floor-length slip she was wearing underneath.
He
placed his hands on her shoulders, caressing the warm skin. “You have a
runner’s tan,” he acknowledged with a smile, slowly tracing the contrasting
skin with his fingers.
“That’s
about the only time I’m in the sun lately,” she responded.
Under his
shirt, she moved her hands up to his shoulders. After first pushing it off, she
then unbuttoned the cuffs for him so he could pull his arms free.
When his
shirt had joined her dress on the floor, Morgan moved closer and placed her
cheek against his bare chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her
tightly to him, letting his lips brush against her hair. But he wasn’t content
to keep his hands still for long and began to run them gently up and down her
back. After several minutes he moved them to her hips, grasped the fabric of
her slip, and began to slide it up.
Morgan
immediately took a step back out of his reach. “Wait,” she said, her voice
hardly more than a whisper.
He
watched curiously as she turned and soundlessly made her way to the elevator.
Once she reached it she touched the light switch on the wall and they were
instantly plunged into darkness.
With the
abrupt change in lighting, McCoy was completely blinded for a moment. It wasn’t
until he felt Morgan’s hand brush against his arm that he became aware of her
standing in front of him.
As he
slipped his arms around her again he noted jokingly, “I was really hoping you
wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m
nervous enough as it is without the glaring lights,” she admitted quietly.
He gently
stroked her cheek and peered at her closely, trying to read her expression as
his eyes became more acclimated. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. Not with
me,” he assured her.
“I know,”
she agreed. “But I still am.” Reaching up, she carefully pulled his head down until their
lips met. Tugging lightly on his with her own, she gave him a soft kiss.
Pressing
her close, he took charge and the kiss instantly became deeper and more
intense. While he held her to him with one hand in the middle of her back, his
other found its way to her backside once more, deftly following the rounded
contours.
Pausing
momentarily to watch her face, he began to inch the slip up again, alert to any
sign of hesitation on her part. When he saw none, he leaned back a little and
pulled it over her head, then dropped it to the floor. His eyes having become
adjusted, he realized that the light from the myriad of windows, along with the
bathroom nightlight, were sufficient to allow him to see fairly clearly as she
stood looking up at him shyly. Reaching for her, he encircled her with his arms
and drew her to him. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly at the feeling
of her mostly bare skin pressed against his and her arms wrapped tightly around
his torso.
Running
his fingers lightly down Morgan’s spine, he felt her shudder slightly. Holding
her back from him he asked, “Are you cold?”
“A
little,” she nodded.
Hooking
an arm around her waist, he reached for the covers on the bed and pulled them
back. “Crawl under.”
She did
as he said, moving over until she was a little more than half way across the
bed from him. While she arranged the blankets and reached for a pillow, he took
the opportunity to quickly unfasten his belt and trousers, then sat down on the
edge of the bed to pull them off, along with his socks. Leaving them in a heap
on the floor, he swung his legs up and under the blankets. Turning on his side,
he propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at Morgan. “Better?”
She
nodded, shrugging the blanket up over her shoulder as she laid facing him.
He bent
his head and barely brushed her lips with his before exerting more pressure.
Under the sheet his hand moved from her shoulder, down her side, past the
curve of her waist, to her backside. Caressing the silken fabric that covered
it, he felt her shudder again.
“Are you
still cold?” he asked.
She shook
her head. “I’m fine now.”
Chalking
her reaction up to nervousness, he moved his hand to her back and felt her
relax slightly.
Morgan’s
hand wavered slightly as she reached up and laid it against his cheek. He
covered it with his own, then turned his head to the side and kissed the palm
before releasing it. Her touch was feather-light as she trailed her fingers
over his shoulder and down his arm, then across his ribs. It finally came to
rest a couple of inches above the waistband of his boxers where her thumb moved
gently back and forth to caress the skin on his stomach.
Encouraged by her gentle exploration, he moved his hand over her collarbone
to her shoulder, then slowly pushed the strap of her bra down. He felt her
tense slightly and let his hand move down her back once again, not wanting her
to feel as though he was rushing.
Feeling
the skin slide under his palm he noted, “You have the smoothest skin I have
ever felt.”
Morgan
remained silent, looking up at him with solemn eyes. Lowering his head, he
kissed first her cheek, then her neck, and, finally, her earlobe. The instant
his lips touched her ear she reacted immediately, arching her body against his
and drawing in a quick breath. His hand tightened at the small of her back,
holding her snugly in place against him.
As he
pulled back to look down at her she whispered, “That makes me crazy.”
“I
thought it might,” he smiled knowingly, tracing little circles on her back with
his fingertips. Leaning toward her for another kiss, he placed his hand on her
hip and eased her onto her back. He felt her skin break out in a rash of chill
bumps as his hand slid across her flat stomach. But when he continued to the
waistband of her panties, he felt the muscles under his hand immediately
tighten.
Breaking
off the kiss he scrutinized her face in the dim light, trying to read her
expression. He was beginning to wonder if her tension was due to nervousness
after all. To test his suspicion, he watched her face closely as he let his
hand stray to where the strap of her bra lay against her upper arm. Pushing it
down a little more, he bushed his fingers across the rounded flesh above the lace
trim. Morgan’s body instantly tensed. Even with the small amount of light, he
could see her jaw tighten as well. When his fingers began to inch their way
under the fabric, he felt hers dig into his side and she began trembling
slightly.
Although
he would’ve liked to believe that her reaction was one of anticipation, he knew
better. Leaning back a little, he settled down beside her, propping his head
in one hand while the other lay across her stomach. After contemplating for
several seconds he said, “You know, you’re a lot more than just nervous.”
Morgan
closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Jack.”
He
reached up and traced the side of her face with his fingertips. “There’s no
need to apologize. I’m not upset with you. To be honest I was wondering why
you didn’t stop me several minutes ago. It’s pretty obvious that you’re
uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, I'd say you're about one heartbeat away from a panic attack.”
Avoiding
his eyes she responded, “I don’t mean to be.”
“I know,”
he assured her. Regarding her thoughtfully he added, “I am curious as to why you
would suggest that we do this, though. I mean, it’s a big step. If you had
asked me beforehand if I thought you were ready to take that step, I would’ve
said you weren’t.”
Morgan
brought a shaky hand up to hook her hair behind one ear. “I really thought I
could do this.”
He
immediately propped himself back up on an elbow in order to better see her face
and studied her silently for a moment. “You didn’t suggest it because it was
what you really wanted, did you? You did it for me, because you thought it was
what I wanted.” She turned her head partially away from him as he continued,
“You said it earlier. I’ve waited where most men wouldn’t have.” When she
remained silent, staring in the direction of her toes, he placed his hand on
the side of her face and gently turned it toward him. “Do you think so little
of me, of my feelings for you, that you believe that’s all I’m here for?”
Her eyes
widened and she immediately protested, “Of course not, Jack, not at all. I know
you aren’t like that.”
“Then why
would you try to rush into something you aren’t ready for?”
After
chewing her lip for a moment Morgan replied, “Because I want to want this. I want to be okay with the physical part of our
relationship.” Looking away again she added softly, “I’m beginning to wonder
if I ever will be, though.”
Smiling
down at her he took her hand, pulled it to him, and held it against his chest.
“Do you remember how uncomfortable it made you the first few times we held
hands in public? And after the first time we kissed, I thought you were going
to throw me out of your apartment and never let me back in. But now you’re okay
with both.” He paused and suggested teasingly, “At least, I think you are.” At
her slight smile he continued, “It took time for you to get used to doing
those things with me. It’s going to take time for you to be comfortable doing
more, too. And that’s all right. I don’t mind, really. I understand the reasons
behind your reactions and I’m perfectly willing to give you the time you need.”
“But what
if it never happens? What if I can never bring myself to take the next step? I
know what I feel is irrational, but what if those feelings continue to get in
the way?”
He eased
down beside her, resting his chin on his arm right beside her shoulder. He placed
his other hand on her cheek and stroked it gently. “At some point in the
future, the time will be right for us to make love, Calea. We’ll both know when
that time has come. Until then you have to be patient with yourself. I’m not in any
rush and I don’t want you to be, either, not for any reason. But especially not
because you think it’s what I want.”
Searching
his eyes with hers she asked, “How can you be so sure when I feel so unsure?”
“I can
see things about you that you can’t see in yourself,” he answered. “You’ve
already come a long way, and I know in my heart that you will eventually get
past your fears.” Raising his head, he bent forward and gave her a soft kiss.
“And I’m going to be right here beside you. I’ll wait for however long it
takes.”
Morgan
closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them he could see the sparkle of
tears. “I can’t believe you’re being so patient with me.”
“That’s
what people do when they really care about each other,” he assured her. With a
teasing smile he noted, “And I’m pretty sure you’re worth it.” Growing a bit
more serious he asked, “So do you still want me to stay or would you rather
that I leave? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“I’d like
for you to stay,” she quickly responded, “if you want to.”
Bending
to plant a kiss on her forehead he said, “As long as I know you want me here,
wild horses couldn’t drag me away.” Propping his head in his hand again he
added, “I do have a favor to ask, though.”
“What is
it?”
Reaching
under the blanket, he placed his hand on her bare stomach. “Will you
please go put on some clothes? It’s one thing to say I’ll wait when I’m fully
conscious, but I can’t be responsible for what my semi-conscious mind and body
might do in the middle of the night if they find themselves next to a
beautiful, almost-naked woman.”
With a
quick smile, Morgan rolled away from him to slip out from under the covers. He
watched her with eager eyes as she made her way to the bathroom.
Once the
door was closed, McCoy turned onto his stomach and buried his face in a pillow
in order to stifle a groan. He was badly in need of a cold shower. He pushed
from his mind the thought of how her smooth skin had felt under his palm or how
her touch had made him ache. Instead, he focused on the frustration and hint of
desperation that he had heard in her voice as she had expressed her concerns
about ever feeling comfortable with a more physical relationship. The time
would come, he assured himself. He only had to do as he had promised – to wait
patiently. Not that it was going to be easy, he thought as he sighed deeply.
He could
hear water running in the bathroom as he rolled to his back and settled against
the pillow. After a few seconds the sound stopped and Morgan emerged, dressed in
her usual long-sleeved tee shirt and boxers. As she came around the bed, he
held the covers back to allow her slide under, then reached to pull her close
to him. She curled up beside him with her head resting on his shoulder.
“Is this
better?” she asked.
“I
wouldn’t exactly call it better,” he acknowledged. “Let’s just call it
necessary under the circumstances.”
It was
her turn to prop herself up on an elbow. Looking down at him, she placed her
hand against his cheek and studied him intently for a moment before leaning
over to give him a gentle kiss.
“Good-night, Jack.”
“Good-night, Calea,” he said as she laid back down.
Morgan
placed her pillow above his shoulder so that the weight of her head rested on
the pillow and only her cheek touched his arm. She moved her hand lightly over his
chest, coming to a stop at the spot where she could feel his heart beating beneath her palm, then sighed contentedly.
McCoy
encircled her shoulders with one arm and covered her hand where it lay on his
chest with his other.
He fell
asleep with a smile still on his face.
***“Shhh, it’s all right,” he insisted quietly
into her ear as he held her struggling body. “No one is going to hurt you.”
He had
been trying to wake her from the nightmare for several minutes, to no avail.
His arms were wrapped tightly around her so that hers were sandwiched between
the two of them. He had also thrown one leg over both of hers, mostly for the
self-preservation of his shins and other, more vital, parts of his anatomy.
Pinned as she was against him, she could barely move. But the more he
immobilized her, the more panic-stricken she seemed to become.
“Calea,
stop fighting,” he gently pleaded. “It’s okay.”
Morgan
continued to try to break free from his grasp, her breath becoming more and
more labored. But it wasn’t until he reached up to grip the back of her neck
that her eyes finally flew open. Letting out a startled cry, she tried to push
away from him with all of her strength.
“It’s all
right – I have you,” he quickly assured her, holding her firmly. “Don’t be
afraid.”
She froze for a split-second, staring at him
with frightened eyes. Then, with a look of recognition, she pulled her arms
from between them and threw them around his neck.
“Jack!”
He
tightened his around her again. “Shhh, I’m here. You’re safe now.”
She clung
tightly to him, her whole body tensed and shaking. After a few minutes he eased
back against his pillow, pulling her with him so that her head rested on his
shoulder. Then, holding her to him, he stroked her hair with the
other hand. “Just relax,” he whispered soothingly. “Nothing can hurt you
when I’m here.”
Running
his hand over her back, he continued to caress her tense muscles and reassure
her until, little by little, he felt her begin to relax. Her grip around his neck
gradually eased and after a while her trembling finally stopped.
McCoy
laid quietly in the darkness, entwining his fingers in her hair and listening
to the sound of her breathing. Even after quite a bit of time had passed, he
could tell from the pattern of her breaths and the soft tickle of her eyelashes
against his skin that she wasn’t asleep.
“Calea,”
he queried softly, “how often do you have these nightmares?”
Morgan
stirred slightly but didn’t answer, making him wonder if he had been wrong about
her being asleep. But after several seconds she finally replied, “I don’t know.
Why do you ask?”
Running
his hand down her arm he said, “Of the five nights we’ve spent in the same
apartment together, you’ve had extremely intense nightmares three of those nights and a milder one a fourth night. I was just curious as to how often they happen.”
She was
quiet again for a moment before answering warily, “It isn’t something I keep
track of. They come and go.”
“When you
say they come and go, are you talking about once a month, once a week, or
what?”
“It
depends. Sometimes I go a week or so without having one and then I may go
through a spell where I have them every night.”
“Have you
ever discussed them with anyone?”
“Discussed them?”
“With a
friend, or maybe a therapist.”
As Morgan
shifted again, he had the distinct feeling that she was more than a little
uncomfortable with their conversation. “No, I haven’t. Why would I?”
He
shrugged the shoulder she wasn’t lying on. “Sometimes talking about a problem
can help. It sort of puts things into perspective.”
“I don’t
see how talking about what I dream would do any good. They’re just dreams. They
don’t mean anything.” With a deep sigh she added, “Right now I’d like to go
back to sleep. Can we talk about this some other time?”
He turned
his head and brushed her forehead with his lips. “Okay,” he replied simply.
Although
they both remained quiet, it was a long time before McCoy heard her breathing
become slow and steady again, and even longer before he fell asleep himself.
***Before he even opened his eyes, he smiled and
reached across the bed. But when his hand encountered only cool sheets, he looked across from him to find the bed empty. He propped himself up and surveyed
the room. In the morning light, everything was quiet and Morgan was nowhere to
be seen.
After
stretching lazily, he got up and made his way to the bathroom. When he clicked
on the light he found a hanger hooked over the top of the shower stall with
his clothes neatly arranged on it. And once he had finished answering nature’s
call and turned to wash his hands and face, he found a note taped to the
mirror. He patted his face and dried his hands, then took it down to read,
“Jack, I’m going to the office for a little while. Call and let me know when
you want me to be ready for our ride.” After her name she had also written,
“PS – I left the coffee maker out for you.”
McCoy
made his way to the desk and retrieved the phone from inside, then returned to
climb back into bed. Propping a couple of pillows against the headboard, he
leaned back and dialed Morgan’s office number.
“Law
office,” she answered.
“Guess
where I am,” McCoy suggested by way of greeting.
He could
hear the smile in her voice as she replied, “Umm … Trying to find something to
eat in my pathetically empty refrigerator?”
“No. Not
yet, anyway. Guess again.”
“Let’s
see, how about looking through my medicine cabinet for illegal drugs?”
“Nope.
Wrong again,” he informed her. “Although that’s next on my list of things to
do.”
“Okay, I
give up,” she confessed.
“I’m
sitting in your bed,” he responded. A little more seriously he added,
“Unfortunately, I’m all alone. I was looking forward to waking up with you. I
was disappointed to find you had left.”
“Sorry
about that. I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep,” Morgan explained.
“I thought I’d come in and get a jump on my week.”
“How much
longer are you going to work?”
“I can
leave anytime. I finished going over some notes for a meeting I have in the
morning and that’s all I really needed to accomplish.”
“Do you
still want to go for a ride?”
“Sure,”
she agreed enthusiastically. “What time do you want to leave?”
He
scratched the stubble on his chin. “I need to run home and shower and change
clothes first. What I wore last night isn’t exactly biker attire. Why don’t I
meet you back here in about an hour? Will that give you enough time?”
“That’s
plenty of time. I left my car keys on the kitchen counter if you want to drive
it to your place instead of calling a cab.”
“How did
you get to your office?”
“I rode
my bike. You know, the kind you pedal?”
“Sounds
vaguely familiar…” he acknowledged teasingly.
“I’ll
have to introduce you to one sometime.”
“I’ll
stick to the kind that runs on gas, thank you,” he said with a smile. “And I’ll
meet you here in one hour.”
***McCoy laid back on the blanket and crossed his
arms under his head. “It’s so quiet here, I could take a nap.”
“You
could but I won’t let you,” Morgan contended as she packed empty food containers
back into a bag. “We don’t have that much time today. We both have to be at
work bright and early in the morning.”
“Too bad
tomorrow isn’t a holiday. There’s a little bed and breakfast not far from here.
We could spend the night and have time to go exploring before heading for
home.”
She
remained silent for a moment while she finished repacking, then said quietly,
“I don’t think that would be such a good idea.”
Taking
note of the seriousness in her voice, he turned to his side and propped his
head in his hand to study her curiously. “Why not?”
Shrugging she answered, “It might be difficult to find two rooms in a
place that small.”
“Two
rooms?” he queried innocently. “Why would we need two rooms? Is someone coming
with us?”
Glancing
at him, she shook her head. “You know that isn’t what I meant.”
Reaching
out abruptly, he took hold of her arm and pulled her forward, catching her
off-guard so that she fell against him. Wrapping his arms around her he asked,
“Did I not behave myself last night like I promised?”
She
settled against him with her arm on his chest and her chin resting on it. “Yes,
you did. But I still don’t think we should sleep together, even if it is only
sleeping. I mean, at least not as things stand now.”
He
brushed her hair back carefully. “And why not?”
She
sighed and contemplated a moment before responding, “Because it’s too hard.
Being that close stirs things up. I know last night couldn’t have been easy for
you, to just put things on hold like we did.”
“Did you
hear me complain?”
“No, but
if it wasn’t easy for me, I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you, whether you’re
complaining or not. I don’t think we should put ourselves in that position
again.”
His eyes
sparkling with mischief, he asked suggestively, “Are you saying that it wasn’t
any easier for you to keep your hands off of me than it was for me to keep my
hands off of you?”
Morgan
looked up from his chest in mild surprise. But taking note of his expression,
she shook her head in mock exasperation and smiled. “I’m saying we shouldn’t
sleep together until we’re ready to sleep
together. Okay?”
Chuckling
quietly, he rolled over so that she was curled on the blanket beside him. Then,
leaning down, he gave her a lingering kiss. Starting at her waist, his hand
slid over her backside and down her thigh, then back up again. Breaking off the
kiss, he smiled at her. “Okay – for now.”
When she
returned his smile, he reached up to grip her shoulder gingerly. “So besides
running, what else do you do to keep in shape?”
“It
depends. I ride my bike when weather permits and I sometimes do
Pilates. I also have some free weights I exercise with on the days when I
don’t run.”
Nodding he observed, “I thought so. Considering your size, you’re pretty strong. I had a difficult time holding on
to you when you had that nightmare last night.”
Morgan's
eyes dropped to a spot somewhere between them. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t
mean to…” She paused, then shrugged. “The dream just sort of took over. I
didn’t realize it was you at first.”
Entwining
his fingers with hers, he questioned gently, “And who did you think it was?”
She
turned away from him and sat up. “I really don’t want to talk about it, Jack,”
she replied quietly.
He sat up
beside her and took her hand again. “Just tell me this: How long have you been
having these dreams?”
Shaking
her head she answered, “I’ve had bad dreams for most of my life. It isn’t a
big deal.”
Regarding
her silently for a moment, he brushed her hair from her shoulder. “And the one
you had last night? Have you had that one most of your life, or just since your
ex-husband almost beat you to death?”
Morgan’s
eyes closed and her jaw tightened, but she didn’t answer.
Placing
his hand on her cheek he said, “Calea, I’m not trying to force you to tell me
about the dream or make you feel uncomfortable. There’s a point to my
questions.” Gently turning her head to face him, he explained, “It’s been over
seven years since you left but you still have nightmares about him. You need to
talk to someone about it. Did you get counseling or seek any sort of help after
you came to New York?”
“I wanted
to put what had happened behind me. I didn’t want to keep dredging it up,” she
responded. “And the last thing in the world I wanted to do was explain it all
to another person.”
“Keeping
it bottled up inside isn’t the answer,” he insisted. “Look where it’s gotten
you. Seven years later you’re still trying to push it out of your mind. But you
can’t. The nightmares are proof of that. You need to talk to someone about what
happened or you’ll never be able to truly put it behind you.”
Pulling
away from him, she stood up abruptly and began to gather their belongings. “We
should start back. It’s going to be getting dark soon.”
McCoy stood
as well and reached to take her by the shoulders. “All right. We don’t have to
talk about it anymore. But I want you to think about what I said. And if you
decide you want to talk to a professional, one of the therapists we use at the
office is a really good guy. He’s helped me out with some personal issues a
time or two. I think you’d like him.” When she began to pull away he added,
“Just think about it. For me.”
***“Be careful driving home,” he advised, without
making the slightest effort to release her from his embrace.
“I will,”
Morgan agreed.
“And
don’t forget about lunch on Wednesday.”
“I
won’t.”
Bending
to give her a final kiss, he let his arms slide from her back and took her
hands in his. “Good-night, Calea. Get some sleep. You look tired.”
“Good-night,
Jack.” Before turning away, she stood on tip-toe and gave him a quick kiss on
the cheek. “And thanks again for a wonderful day.”
With a
smile, he opened her car door and held it until she was inside, then closed it
for her. She gave him a wave and returned his smile as she backed out of the
parking space and pulled out onto the street before disappearing from his
sight.