Maria Casalas hummed softly to herself as she stirred the milk warming in the pan on the stove.  Lately it was all she could do to fall asleep ever since she'd overheard that Miss Laura was expecting.  It was not her place to question the morals of her superiors, but she was having a difficult time keeping quiet.  The Wilsons had been good to her, in fact she'd practically raised Laura herself, loved her like her own child.  However, what Laura was purporting to do, masquerading that baby as Mr. Travis' was wrong.  Kid Travis was no innocent by any means, but he did not interact with Laura as if they were lovers, Maria's instincts told her.

She poured the milk from the pan and set it in the dry sink, using the pump to fill it with water.  She'd clean up in the morning.  Carefully, Maria made her way back upstairs.  In the dark, she couldn't see the leg of the bench that sat on the landing and stumbled over it, nearly dropping her mug of warm milk.  She winced and leaned down to rub her ankle lightly.  As she straightened, a movement outside the picture window caught her eye.  There in the moonlight was someone sneaking between the buildings.  Maria stepped closer to the window and swore beneath her breath as the person stopped.  Beneath the dark cloak, the servant glimpsed familiar blonde waves.

Shocked and anxious, Maria decided to leave her prone position in the window before she was discovered.  If Laura is sneaking out again, then something must be done.  I cannot allow that good boy to be duped into a trap, she thought.  Quickly she headed up the stairs.

The flash of movement from the picture window caught Laura's attention and she looked up just in time to see the white batiste of a nightgown flutter up the stairs.  Someone had seen her and whoever it was had better keep their mouths shut or they would pay.  No one would interfere with her mission of mercy!
 

"Now hold still, buddy.  Daddy's gotta change your diaper again."

Lou opened her eyes slowly at the sound of Kid's voice, realizing she'd been dozing again.  Two days ago, after she'd awoken the first time and eaten, Danny had been sent to fetch the doctor for the official word and shortly afterwards, Teaspoon and the boys had shown up.  She'd been subjected to another round of hugs and gentle teasing during which they shared their lack of progress in questioning Anderson and Laura.  Her throat was still a little raw from her ordeal but Dr. Broxson had said that was to be expected considering the smoke inhalation and the way she'd cried out during her delirium.  He'd confined her to her bed for two days and prescribed plenty of fluids and no talking after eight in the evening if she could help it.  She'd argued that she felt fine as long as she didn't use her wounded arm, but Broxson had overruled her.

Just the thought of Laura made her skin crawl and Lou was more than a little embarrassed at the way she'd reacted to Laura's pregnancy.  After Rachel had chased the others out so she could rest, Lou and Kid had had a chance to sit down and talk some things out.  He'd sworn to her that Laura's child wasn't his and now that a few days had passed since the news was broken, Louise was calm enough to see that he was being as honest as he could be.  As difficult as it was for him to admit and her to listen to, Kid spelled out the intimate details of his relationship with Laura.  Yes, there had been a time when he was attracted to her sexually, but despite her advances, he'd been unwilling to consumate their relationship after what had happened with him and Lou.  In spite of her attempts at hardening her heart against him, Louise couldn't help but believe what he said.

It was no secret that Louise had always hated being cooped up in bed and Kid had been so wonderful the last couple of days taking care of Lexi like a pro, bringing her flowers, making sure she had plenty of water, bringing her books to pass the time, chatting with her when she was bored, and even flirting with her to cheer her up.  He'd gone so far as to bundle her up and carry her over for dinner in the bunkhouse last night.  With each kindness, Lou's defenses fell further and further.  She knew that Laura's revelation had hurt so much because she found herself falling for Kid, and falling hard, all over again.  Question was, when he gave her the lilacs that now sat in a vase on the bedside table or teased her about getting herself shot deliberately to get his attention, was he actually trying to win her affection or was Kid just being nice to a recuperating friend?

"You don't wanna sit in that icky wet diaper all day, do ya?  Nooo, you don't wanna do that," Theresa cooed at her fussing nephew, tickling his tummy, and forcing Lou's attention back to the present.

Without moving, Lou watched from the bed as the two of them changed her son.  They worked as a team, Theresa handing Kid the supplies and distracting the baby while Kid did the dirty work.  They looked almost like a regular family.  Once the old diaper was off, however, Lexi began to actually cry, having never liked the feel of cool air on his skin.  Louise expected Kid to panic, but he kept his cool, lifting the baby high in the air and blowing raspberries against his chubby tummy until he was giggling again.

"Might wanna be careful doin' that, Kid, when he doesn't have his diaper on," Tessa giggled.  Louise herself knew the truth of that statement, but was enjoying the scene too much to reiterate her sister's warning.

"Nah, he'll be okay.  Won't ya, little man?" Kid replied, nuzzling Lexi's nose with his.

No sooner had the words left his mouth than Kid felt something wet his shirt.  In stunned disbelief he looked down to find his son had done what many babies do when freed from a diaper -- he'd peed all the way down his daddy's shirtfront.

Silent up until now, Lou couldn't help but laugh merrily at the sight of Kid's initiation into parenthood, her laughter joining Tessa's joyous giggles.

Kid groaned and closed his eyes in defeat.  When he opened them, Lexi was smiling innocently at him.  "How could you do that?  And after I talked ya up and everythin'.  Guess the first thing I'll teach you is how to control that thing," he muttered, returning the baby to the dresser top to finish the job at hand.  Hearing Lou's laughter was music to his ears despite the fact that it was at his own expense.  Teasingly, he looked over at her and glared, pointing a finger her direction.  "And no comments from the peanut gallery, either."

Lou sat up against the pillows.  "Well, one thing's for sure -- nobody'll ever doubt you're a father.  Welcome to the club, Kid," she said grinning.  "I can't tell you the number of days I've had to change two and three times during the day thanks to that little squirt."

Theresa just continued to giggle.  She looked so much more like the happy girl she'd been a year ago instead of the grieving, quiet girl she'd been since Jeremiah's death.

Kid suddenly looked over at her helplessly giggling form in mock peevishness.  He grabbed one of the clean diapers from the stack and twisted it into a rope.  "And just what are you laughin' at, eh?" he said, flicking the towel at Theresa's backside playfully.  The action just caused her to giggle more and Kid couldn't keep the facade up anymore, his face cracking into a mischievous yet sheepish grin.  "Don't know what I'm gonna do with you women."

"You know you love us," Lou teased from the bed.

He finished fastening the diaper and began to replace Lexi's bunting, sighing melodramatically.  "Yup, I do and that's the problem.  Can't beat ya if I love ya," Kid said.  He turned to Theresa whose laughter had susbsided a bit.  "You think you can manage to ask Rachel for a clean shirt?"

Theresa sobered and stood up straighter tossing off a mock salute.  "Yes, sir," she said gruffly.  She moved toward the door but was unable to escape Kid's hand as he swatted her backside playfully.

Lou's laughter had caused her shoulder to begin to ache and she gently stretched the tender muscles beneath the bandage and sling.  Her face grimaced slightly at the reminder of her injury.  She quickly hid her discomfort from Kid, not wanting anyone to coddle her.  Lou held her free arm out for the baby.  "Why don't you come see Mama for a bit, Angelbaby, while your daddy cleans up so he don't smell like an' ol' pee-pot," she said, her eyes twinkling with laughter.

Kid just chuckled as he passed the baby over.  He walked to the basin and stripped off his shirt, grimacing at the wetness.  Louise couldn't help but watch his every move, the baby happy to sit cheerfully on her lap and play with a wooden rattle.  She felt her face warm as her eyes moved over the smooth, tanned skin of Kid's back from the broad width of his shoulders down his torso to where his skin disappeared beneath the waistline of his pants.  The need for him hit her like a rock in the stomach, taking her breath from her.  The muscles beneath his skin, hardened and strengthened by chores and wood chopping, flexed with every movement and her fingers itched to reach out and touch him.  Lou hadn't thought about men in a sexual fashion since she'd discovered her pregnancy.  No, that wasn't true.  She really hadn't thought of being with anyone since Kid and now she found herself wanting to recapture the intimacy they'd once shared.  However, he was on the opposite side of the room and her position in his life was still so tenuous yet.  Lou was so caught up in her mute perusal of Kid's body that she didn't hear him talking to her.

"I was thinkin' Lou, maybe after dinner we could head out to Silverbirch and see if there was anything salvageable from the fire," Kid commented.  Silence was his answer.  "Lou?"

Kid turned from the basin having washed up the best he could only to find Lou staring at him, her eyes dark and fathomless.  He knew that look and knew she'd been watching him. A small smile flickered across his face and he approached the bed to sit on the edge.  "Hey, you awake?" Kid teased.

Lou looked up at him at that moment, his blue eyes twinkling in amusement and realized he'd caught her staring at him.  Her face flamed in embarassment.  Oh, God could he tell what I was thinking, she wondered.  He wouldn't want you if he knew what you were, what you'd done, a small voice said.  "I'm sorry, what did you say," Louise asked distractedly.  She brought a hand up to rub her forehead where she could feel her pulse pounding.

Kid noticed the action and the way her eyes looked so sad and his brow furrowed.  "Thought maybe you'd want to go out to Silverbirch after dinner, but maybe that's not a good idea if you ain't feelin' well," he said.  Lexi tossed his rattle onto the floor and Kid automatically picked it up and handed it back to his son, his eyes never leaving Lou's.

Her heart felt like lead in her chest as she realized that the voice was right, her dreams were right.  If she ever hoped to have anything with Kid, she'd have to come clean and trust him with her past.  Just as Kid had been painfully honest about his relationship with Laura, Louise would have to tell him everything and hope he could find a way to forgive her and love her as she was.  She'd hidden her past the last time and it was that secret that had built and built until it finally came between them.  Lou refused to allow history to repeat itself.

With a large sigh, Lou brought her eyes up to look Kid square in the face, determination in her aspect.  "I feel fine, Kid.  A trip out to Silverbirch, just the two of us, is probably a good idea because there's some things I need to tell you -- some things you need to hear," she said.  "Things I should've told you a long time ago."

For a moment, Kid thought about telling her he already knew about Wicks, but then thought better of it.  Danny had done him a great favor telling him about Lou's past and in doing so, had risked his own friendship with Louise.  He owed Keaggy a good turn and somehow Kid felt it was best for Lou that she go through with the telling.  Maybe then she could get some peace.  Kid smiled at her and let the back of his hand caress her cheek.  "Alright, then.  We'll leave the baby here and borrow Rachel and Teaspoon's buckboard after dinner," he said.

Lou's eyes closed halfway at the feel of his touch on her cheek and smiled nervously, his calm, sure gaze inspiring butterflies in her stomach.  Unable to meet his gaze, she reached out for Lexi and pulled him onto her lap, bending to brush a kiss against his silken hair.  She was going to do it.  She was going to be honest with Kid no matter how much it hurt.  The weight of her secrets had bowed her soul for so long and now that there was an end in sight, the knowledge both comforted and unnerved her.  What if, when she leapt out on faith, there was no one and nothing there to catch her fall?  There was no real way of knowing except to do it, but wasn't that what trust and faith were all about?
 

Maria nodded.  "Si, senora," she replied.  "It has taken me days to be able to tell you, senora, but I could stay silent no longer and allow others to be hurt.  Laura has regularly snuck out of the house to meet someone.  I thought it had stopped but I see I was wrong."

Nellie's hands fluttered nervously and she sunk into the chair at her writing desk.  It shouldn't surprise her really.  She'd long believed her daughter wasn't quite the innocent she pretended to be, but this lying and sneaking out in the middle of the night...this was worse than she'd imagined.  It didn't take a scholar to put two and two together and realize that there was a chance that the baby her baby was carrying could be someone else's.  And they'd charged down Kid's throat like Washington crossing the Potomac.  Guilt and worry had her biting at her finely manicured nails, a habit she'd broken herself of long ago.  She looked up to find Maria still standing there looking as if she were worried about losing her job.  "Maria, thank you for coming to me with this," she said softly.  "You've been so wonderful to us.  Don't worry about your job; you're family and I'd never put you out for telling me the truth even if it was a truth I hadn't wanted to hear."

Maria's dark eyes softened in empathy for the worried mother.  "Perhaps we can yet save her from herself," she suggested softly.

"I pray you're right, Maria.  I pray you're right."