The Love She Lost - Her Mother's

[from Twist, 7/01]

It was the most wonderful day of Jennifer Aniston’s life. A romantic beach setting, an amazing fireworks diplay… She walks down the aisle in a stunning gown looking every bit like the Hollywood princess she is. She’s marrying her film-god boyfriend, Brad Pitt.

But something is missing. There is one very special person absent from the star-studded guest list for the top secret, million dollar wedding that took place last July...Jennifer’s mother, Nancy Aniston.

“I can’t believe I got married and my mother has never met the person I married,” said an obviously upset Jennifer.

Yes, she may be talented, beautiful, rich, and married to a Hollywood hottie – but just like lots of other women – Jennifer Aniston doesn’t get along with her mom!

A Broken Trust
The huge falling out between Jennifer and her mother took place five years ago, when she was becoming a household name for her role as Rachel on Friends. Her mother, Nancy, (a photographer and former model/actress) went on a sleazy talk show and spilled some personal comments about her daughter’s past. Nancy later claimed that she was set up by the talk show and didn’t know the camera was running when she made those remarks.

The Dramatic Phone Call
When the phone rang the night after the show aired, Jennifer’s mom flew out of bed to get it. “It was Jen, but her voice was so distorted by rage I didn’t recognize it at first,” Nancy said. “She was very angry that I appeared on the show and she said she would NEVER forgive me – those terrible words echoed loud in my head. How long would NEVER be?”

In the days that followed, Nancy’s heart nearly stopped every time the phone rang. Please be Jen, she thought, hoping that her daughter would call her back and forgive her...

But that call never came, and Jennifer’s mom made a bad situation worse when she published a book about their relationship entitled, From Mother And Daughter To Friends. Nancy even made a point dissing Jennifer’s social crowd in the book, writing, “I could no longer tolerate their rude behavior.”

Despite all this, in the days before Jennifer’s wedding, Nancy was still holding out hope thst she’d receive a last-minute invite. “I love my daughter very much,” she said, “I meditate about our relationship. I pray over it. Even if she’s not close to me right now, I still worry about my daughter, whom I adore.”

A Hopeful Wish – Denied
But when the big day came and her mailbox was empty, Nancy was crushed. What could’ve been one of the happiest days of her life was instead the saddest.

Not being invited to her own daughter’s wedding may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back – but Jennifer’s friends say their difficulties go way back.

Jennifer admits her early home life was awful for a while. Her parents divorced when she was nine after her dad, soap opera star John Aniston, cheated in her mom with a costar. Her dad then virtually fell off the face of the earth for a year, leaving Jennifer and her mother alone.

Forgiving Her Father
After explaining and apologizing to Jennifer about why he left, Jennifer’s dad eventually made his way back into her life. And today, Jennifer and her dad are closer than ever – he even walked her down the aisle at her wedding!

“(He’s) one of the nicest men you’ll ever meet. Unbelievably shy and funny,” Jennifer recently said about her pop.

Although she forgave her father for leaving her and her mom, Jennifer has yet to make amends with her mom.She still blames her mom for telling her she wasn’t pretty enough, or skinny enough. “My mother is very focused on beauty. I didn’t care about it as much. Now it’s funny – and pathetic – but her advice was always about making features more then they were: ‘Always outline your lips, dear. They’re so tiny. Make your lips bigger.’ Or ‘You have no cheekbones; you’ve got to contour in your cheekbones.’ You got to the point where you felt like you were the ugliest duckling on the planet.”

But although Jennifer obviously has a lot of anger towards her mother, she also has some love left, too.

Even now, she describes her mother as “very warm, loving, nurturing, wise, funny and old-fashioned.”

“She expects respect: ‘I’m the mother, I’m the elder.’ It’s good that she’s got her rules, but you also want to go, ‘Mom, lighten up, just hang out.’”

It was Nancy, she remembers, who encouraged her to follow her dreams of becoming an actress. “I got the idea I could go to a school for acting and get started. My dad was against it, but my mom was great in encouraging me: ‘Keep going, keep going,’” Jennifer recalls.

Her mom’s advice on guys also proved timely, “To be loved, happy, not to ever settle for something less than you deserve. Don’t rely on men, but don’t shun them, either. They’re not your enemies,” she said.

Teenage Regrets
Jennifer even confesses that she was more than a handful to deal with while growing up. “Things were tough, and you always said ‘God, I wish I did that differently.’ I wish I had been better as a teenager to my mother,” she said. In the days before their falling out, Jennifer admits the two were very close. “We had a really good relationship. I wasn’t the easiest kid. I was a smartass. I’m sure there was a lot of strain on her since it was just she and I.”

Her mom still loves her too. “I don’t know Brad Pitt – I gear he’s a nice young man,” Nancy said, “I thank God that he loves Jenny, because Jenny is a wonderful person and my only concern is he brings her happiness.”

No Brad and Jennifer had told their friends that they are ready to start a family of their own. Insiders think that once Jennifer holds her own baby in her arms, she and her mom (who recently suffered from life-threatening double pneumonia) will finally make up! We hope so – because deep down inside, we think Jennifer and her mom really do love each other after all!

By Marla Cukor

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