Land Of The Frozen………

A humorous look at the Pilot Season’s “ Land Of The Free” by SunshineboyUK

“Land Of The Free”

Best Line; Sid to Richard on hearing his legal advice for our villain bike boy,”If he’s his lawyer the guy’ll get life”….nice one Sidney

Best Moment; Check out that sexual tension between Diana and her doll as she practices her “co quetish” delivery of a line for a school audition

Worst Outfit; Read On People…..

Worst Hair: No bad hair days for this ep. Barbara Kaye Minster was off sick apparently…

It seems the whole community in Knots Landing loves nothing more than hanging out at the beach on a cold, misty, incredibly foggy morning. So much so that our favourite Seaview Circle gals have brought the kids along for some volleyball in the fog. And so all is looking good (well kinda misty actually) – Michael and Eric are fighting over a ball…wait till you see what they fight over in 11 years time mom…Diana is being …well just Diana really and Val is getting her first “dunk” in the sea, while Laura and Ginger show off their goosebumps in surely the most revealing swimsuits ever worn on the show.
Then the truly unexpected happens…. (no guys….not a season arc plotline!)…a gang load of bikies come thundering,literally, down the beach , seriously harassing the beachgoers and giving our gals a particularly hard time.Karen manages to get a good right hook in ( yes this episode packs a punch or two) and even little Jason Avery managed a few sideswipes before everyone does a hasty retreat. Now it’s all back to the cul-de-sac for the usual “ Richard handing out terrible legal advice before ushering gorgeous Laura away from the main plot to dish out his dinner” scene, therefore giving Val a home run to overact and ensure a continuing contract during the budget cutting season of 87 “ It’s also interesting to note Karen’s penchant for husbands who know all the local cops- the only explanation is that Sid gives their car a really good service. However, Karen is livid about all this ( the bikies , not Sid’s dubious new friendship with a cop ) and we know the episode has only just begun.
After a pointless Karen and Diana scene, notable only for Claudia Lonow’s startling interpretation of the word “ coquettish”, it’s all back to the beach, minus Ginger who is apparently taking her kids on a field trip…what ? mid afternoon in the working week?! No sooner has Val laid out her blanket on a considerably warmer looking beach than last time, who shows up all fired up and raring for a fight but our bikie gang from…well we don’t know where but probably somewhere quite boring if they’ve come back to take on Karen and Val. This time it’s little Michael who gets the dramatic moment as he is hit by a bike. That’ll teach Karen for keeping him out of school to share the main plot.
On the way home from the hospital, with a bandaged Michael, Karen is fuming- it’s against everything she and America stand for and she’s not having a buck of it- unlike Sid who doesn’t seem to care one way or the other at this point. Mind you I really haven’t seen Sid break a sweat over