Title: Wilful Blindness
Author: North hollye@sympatico.ca
Rating: PG
Pairing: Maggie/Bianca
Summary: A confrontation at the boat house leads to revelations for both Bianca and Maggie.
Disclaimers: I own none of AMC, this is just for fun , no harm intended, no profit made.
Note: Takes place right where the ep should have , imho, altered it's course.RECAP: after being bitched out by held hostage Greenlee, Bianca went and started to trash and 'cuss' at the boat house but Maggie was there. They ended up talking about Leo leaving, how B would miss him and there was no one she could just be herself and not hold back with like him. Maggie offered her friendship. Bianca had said she didn't need another friend. It went further to Bianca saying that she feared Maggie wouldn't be able to handle her telling Maggie what she really felt -about Maggie- and then Bianca grew very upset with herself 'why do I always do this? wrong feelings wrong time wrong person'. Maggie totally acted like she did not clue in to what she meant. Bianca told her to back off. Maggie left hurt. Bianca immediately regretted snapping at her.
Author’s Notes: My story is an alternate outcome. Cuz bloody hell, I need it!
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Bianca couldn't believe her ears. Hadn't Maggie just heard what she said? What she meant?
"Why won't you let me Bianca?" Maggie pursued, ignoring the greater meaning of what Bianca's rushed words held. "I can be as good a friend to you as Leo...if you let me."
She tried to sidle next to Bianca but again Bianca turned her face away. Angry, embarrassed, frustrated at her lack of control...or perhaps at her adherence in part to it, Bianca said. "You can't Maggie, you can't be Leo. Not with the way I feel about you."
"What, you don't like me enough?" Maggie joked but there was underlying hurt there to be heard.
Bianca turned around and looked at her. "No, I like you too much."
Maggie frowned. "So I don't get it, you like me more than Leo? So you can't talk to me?"
Bianca let out an exasperated sigh, although who she was more irate with, her or Maggie, she couldn't say. "No, look just forget it alright? I can't, I WON'T go down this road again!"
Bianca went to march off but Maggie grabbed her arm and held on. "No Bianca, tell me what's bothering you! Are we friends or not?"
Bianca wouldn't look at her. "If I told you, we might not be friends anymore and I can't afford to lose anyone else in my life that I...love." Her voice broke and tears cascaded down her cheeks.
"Hey," Maggie said alarmed, "hey come here." She pulled Bianca into her arms and attempted to soothe her. "It's going to be okay. Really. I'm not going anywhere Bianca I promise." Her arms tightened around Bianca who in turn held on to her fiercely as she let go and cried on Maggie's shoulder.
Maggie steered them to the steps while continuing to hold her. She stroked Bianca's back, smoothed her hair and uttered every comforting word and noise she could think of. She listened carefully to what Bianca muttered between her sobs hoping to find a clue as to why her friend was so heartbroken.
"I wish I didn't feel anything....Why does it have to be like this...why you?.....I can't lose ...not again...it hurts too much...."
Why her? Maggie reviewed the not just the words but everything over the their conversation. Her eyes widened in sudden understanding. She almost froze but instead went deeper into herself and thought back on the Summer, how she dragged Bianca out on every date. How she wanted Bianca with her. Had wanted Bianca to come to her door and stop her. Only Bianca could have. It was always Bianca. Bianca who held her, talked her down, listened to her. Cared for her. Actually loved her.
Bianca was quieting. She pulled away a little from Maggie embarrassed. She wiped at her eyes with a sleeve. "I'm an idiot. Sorry about the meltdown Maggie. And for acting like a freak."
Maggie brushed Bianca's hand away and wiped her tears with her hands. "I think I'm the one who owes you an apology." She said quietly.
Bianca frowned. "What do you mean?"
"The way I've been acting. It musta been driving you crazy."
"Excuse me?" Bianca still wasn't following.
Maggie gazed at her, her hands now cupping Bianca's beautiful face. Maggie shook her head. "I'm the idiot." She leaned in with her heart in her throat and did the one thing she's wanted all this time. She kissed Bianca.
Bianca gasped against the soft touch of lips in astonishment. But as Maggie continued to kiss her she began to relax and return the caress. Hands strayed from her face to her hair. She wrapped her arms around Maggie and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.
It was Bianca who pulled away first. Despite the kiss she still feared Maggie's reaction. "Maggie?"
Maggie's eyes were still closed, her mouth parted in wonder. "Wow."
Bianca grinned at the woman despite herself. An eyebrow quirked. "Wow?'
Maggie opened clear eyes. "Wish I had done that a while ago."
"You do?" Bianca blurted. "You did?" Her stomach was in knots, to hope or not to hope.
"Yeah," Maggie said. "I've felt, like this, for a while now. I just couldn't make sense of it you know? Like rocks grinding around in my head. It was driving me crazy."
Bianca smiled more fully. "I'm just glad it didn't drive you away."
"Ditto." Maggie smiled back.
"Uhm," Maggie blushed, "Can we do that again?"
"Do what?" Bianca asked innocently.
"This." Maggie pulled her closer and kissed her.
Bianca's reply though not verbal, was more than answer enough.
Fin