The dream was happening again. On some level I knew I needed to wake myself up. I already knew how it was going to end. I had grown to accept it. That frightened me much more than any reoccurring nightmare could. To me, acceptance means giving in. I tightened my already firm grip around the feather pillow that sat at my side. With a whimper I begin my journey fearfully…
I'm walking down a street. A voice from my left catches my attention. I look next to me and see her. Bianca, I know she is my friend. She talks to me about something I find amusing. We are both laughing. I appreciate the ease I feel with her.
We are walking down a dirt trail, near a lake. I feel so peaceful. It's now I begin to understand why I am there. She needs me to do something. Why can't I remember what it is? I look at the big pine trees that surround us. These trees stand tall. They are lined up in rows. They stretch as far as I can see. There is something hypnotic about them.
I realize what is about to happen. I have been here before. I have seen this. My friend and I are no longer alone. I feel a breeze assault the back of my neck. My long brown hair encircles my face. I turn around and see the shadow standing there, seeking shelter behind a tree. I know she has come to hurt her, but I am uncertain as to why? Does she know Bianca? No…it's me. She's come to hurt me. Bianca…Bianca could be hurt. I can't let that happen. I can't let her get hurt because of me. Frankie wouldn't let it happen…and neither can I.
I yell at Bianca, my love, to run. She laughs at me. I become frustrated. She thinks it's a joke! I grab her arm forcefully tell her to run. I hear danger step out of the trees. I moved in front of her. That is when I hear the loud noise from behind me. I feel the pinch in my back as I fall forward. I try to get up but can't. It hurts too much. Dreams aren't suppose to hurt are they? Bianca stops to help me up. It is harder to breath. I just want to sleep. I'm tired. Bianca sits next to me crying. She keeps saying she doesn't know what to do.
"It's okay," I say, "it's just a dream." With that I feel myself dying. I accept it. It is just a dream after all. She takes my hand in hers.
"I love you Maggie, I love you…don't let go…" Bianca cried.
It grows dark. I finally fall asleep.
I jumped from my bed. My body shivered from the chills. I had that damn dream again. What number was this? I had stopped counting. I got out of bed and changed my tank top. I looked at the digital clock. It read 4:15 again. Every time I had the dream I would wake up at 4:15. It has been happening this way for as long as I can remember, or care too. "Was that when you died Frankie?" I ask out loud for no one to hear. I walk to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. I checked the door once again to make sure it was locked. I crawled back into bed, and hoped sleep will come quickly. I knew the dream would not come back to haunt me again that night. I was safe, for now. And so long as I kept some distance between Bianca and my family…so was she.
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