Title: What Stays
Author: North hollye@sympatico.ca
Rating: PG
Pairing: Greenlee/Bianca
Summary: A different response to the Dec. 24th, 2002 ep of AMC TV, when Greenlee holds an impromptu Christmas party there are unexpected results.
Disclaimer: don't own 'em, just borrowing for a while in the interest of love and fun.
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With great relief, Greenlee closed the door on the last guest to leave. She had tried hard to recreate Leo's spirit this evening but no matter the love of her friends and relations, the empty ache she known since that day had not waned. Only the tree lights remained in the silent room. She tossed her Santa hat aside and sat down ungraciously on her couch, watching the quiet fall of the snow outside the window.
No matter what she did, it couldn't bring Leo back. He was gone and there was nothing left of him. Only her, sitting in the near dark, alone.
The lights of the tree blurred in her suddenly tearing vision.
A timid knock made her turn toward the door. She shook her head and went back to watching the snow.
The knock, still soft, persisted.
Sighing, she rubbed her eyes and went to her door, bracing herself, she opened it. Upon seeing who stood there, all Greenlee could do was stare.
"Hey." Bianca met her eyes with ones as sombre as her own. She held up a decoratively wrapped package. "I have this for you. You and Leo."
"Leo?" Greenlee whispered.
"I," Bianca had to take a breath before continuing. "I had bought this for you both before."
"Before he died." Greenlee said stark and raw.
"Before he died." Bianca said in a voice that was as bleak as Greenlee's own.
Greenlee still just looked at her, this woman who had been so large a part of Leo's heart. Than she nodded to herself as though coming to a decision. She stepped aside. "Come in."
"I know it's late but you seemed to be having a party. I didn't want to intrude." Bianca explained, her voice as soft as her earlier knock on Greenlee's door.
She added not having sat down yet. "I also didn't know if you would want it."
Greenlee looked up from her position that she retook on the couch. "You did it because you love him right?"
Bianca nodded. "And because I know what it's like to lose the person you gave your heart to."
"You miss Leo? What does it feel like?" Greenlee asked, surprising herself.
Bainca sat, her hands clasped. "Like there's a hole blasted in me. One that won't heal no matter what I do."
Greenlee seized Bianca's hands, her tone urgent. "Say that again?"
"That it feels like there's a hole ripped inside me that won't heal. It just keeps hurting. And no matter what I do it won't go away." Bianca eyes shone. "I don't think it ever will."
Greenlee searched those eyes long and hard for any sign of dishonesty but Bainca merely returned her gaze, unflinching, open.
"Did you want to open it?"
"Not right now. I like this gift more."
Bianca frowned. "What other gift?"
"This." Greenlee waves a hand to indicate them both there on the couch. "You. He loved you so much Bianca. And it feels just like you said. You loved him too." The tears escaped freely now.
Bianca does what Greenlee least expected. She pulls Greenlee to her and holds her close letting her weep on her shoulder.
Greenlee, feeling the warm arms and soft body holding her safely, the heart she could hear hammering in Bianca's chest, as wounded as her own, let herself go and surrendered in Bianca's arms weeping wholly.
Bianca didn't offer reassuring lies or even speak. She held Greenlee tighter and soothed what aches she could with her hands.
After some moments, Greenlee looked up at eyes darker than her own. She had thought she had lost Leo but she realized now in these arms that there was a part of him that stayed in a heart that was a as kind as his and a soul that was in all ways his friend. Greenlee tightened her arms around Bianca and brushed those lips so close to hers with a kiss. She leaned away, just enough to once again search those deep eyes. Bianca met her gaze and didn't pull away or lean forward. She sat there, waiting without any weight of expectations for what Greenlee would do or say next.
Greenlee's hand lay just over Bianca's heart. "Your heart is beating very fast."
Bainca smoothed some tears from Greenlee's damp cheeks. "It stopped just over a year ago. I guess it has some catching up to do."
Greenlee allowed herself for the first time, to truly be vulnerable with this woman. "You'll stay?"
"If you want me."
"I need you. And I would like it if you stayed. Just to sleep. And some comfort."
Bianca nodded in silent acceptance.
Greenlee led her up and to her bedroom. She paused at the doorway and turned to gaze up at her. "Do you need this too?" She did not want this to be one-sided. She couldn't bear the thought of pity.
Bianca answered, "I've needed this for a long time but only recently knew that who I needed was you." And then with a small smile, she spoke back Greenlee's words. "And I would like to stay here with you. To sleep. And for comfort."
Greenlee touched her face, in rare disbelief. "I think Leo was right. He once described you as an angel."
Bianca gave a familiar self-depreciating half-smile. "I'm only human Greenlee."
"You mean you're the only human who could give me this."
"And you me. It's not like it's one-sided."
Greenlee pulled her into a sudden fierce embrace, holding to Bianca tightly. "Thank God. I can't stand being so alone in this anymore."
Bianca, again didn't rush Greenlee or pull away, she merely waited for when Greenlee chose to let go. Which she did, taking up Bianca's hand in hers. And led her into the bedroom.
Fin