Title: Love Is A Promise
Author: North hollye@sympatico.ca
Rating: PG girls are into girls here, whatever rating you think that requires, no explicit sexuality but there may be kissing!
Pairing:
Summary: Greenlee finds out who really typed the emails she thought were from Carlos.
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, wish I did b/c than I would write all sorts of MAIN text in the TV and quite this angsting around. Grr.
Feedback: Feed the caged animals!
Note: This is my alternate take on the whole Carlos/Greenlee thing with a bit of HAM added. This story is what happens in my head when I'm burnt out on too much work, bad health, deadlines, aggravating people and finals looming. Perhaps I should change my pen name to Cabinfeverextraordinaire..nah, too long,;)
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"I want the truth Carlos." A dripping Greenlee beseeched the kind plumber. "Did you write these emails?"
"I...I sent them." He admitted, torn by his conscience.
"Okay." Greenlee drew the word out, considering him. "What aren't you telling me?"
"You've been through so much Greenlee, I don't want to cause you pain. The letters were meant to comfort you yes? They did so didn't they?"
"Hold on a sec." She went and retrieved two towels, handing him one while patting herself dry with the other.
"Yes, they did comfort me." She confessed to him.
"And they made you happy right?"
"They did. It's just that...the person who wrote those, it's like they know me inside and out. It's like they know..."
"Know what?"
"What it's like to love someone that much and lose them." She answered him deep in thought.
"You lost someone you love very much. It takes a long time to get over that kind of pain." Carlos offered.
"No, that's not it. That's actually what's bothering me. You don't get over loving someone that deeply. They're the best part of your heart and half of your soul. The pain never completely goes away, you have to live with it. Or not. A person who suffered like I have would know that. The person who wrote those letters would know that." She looks up into his kind eyes. "You didn't know that Carlos. Won't you please tell me who did?"
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Bianca couldn't believe she was here listening to this. Ever since they had 'cleared things up' Maggie has been acting like Bianca has the plague. They hardly talk, all that closeness that she had previously enjoyed was gone. Even now Maggie was a few steps away, talking, her arms crossed. Before they would have been arm in arm, a touch here, a smile there. All that ease was gone. Now it was Henry and whatever trouble Maggie was getting into with him because something was up.
Maggie stomped around the boat house. She said something and looked at Bianca. Bianca realized she was supposed to be listening. "I don't understand Maggie. What's the problem if you like him and he likes you?"
Maggie waves her hands around. "I know but his mom is impossible and after what happened today..."
Concerned for her friend, Bianca asked, "what happened?"
"Nothing." Maggie averts her eyes and turns away. "Just stuff. I'll work it out but hey, thanks for listening. Talk to you later alright? Oh, and good luck with that bet!" Without a hug or even a wave Maggie's off.
Her last words almost made Bianca wince. She leaned forward on the railing staring off into nothing.
A voice shook her out of her brooding but only added to her melancholy. "Now you're into gambling? What's this about a bet?"
Bianca turned around to watch Greenlee come up the path Maggie had just left.
"Hi Greenlee." She said quietly.
Greenlee arched an immaculate eyebrow at her. "Aren't you going to spill about this bet?"
Now Bianca did wince. "Could we not? It was a stupid idea. I should never have done it."
Greenlee advanced on her, leaning against the railing just a handspan away from Bianca. "Tell me." She demanded simply, smiling.
It was so nice to see that smile again that Bianca confessed about her bet with Boyd on who would get a date with Lena first. "It was silly. It wasn't like me at all. I'm going to call it off."
"Then why did you do it?"
"Why so curious Greenlee?" She half joked, hoping to change topics.
"I just wanted to know what's going on with you. How you were. We haven't really talked much since Leo died."
Shocked, Bianca stared at her.
Greenlee gave a sad half-smile. "What? Didn't think I could say his name without weeping or losing it? I've been working on it. I even went to therapy. Am going to therapy." She corrected herself.
"Wow. Well, that's great Greenlee, I mean not great but I'm glad you're finding a way to live with it."
"Because the pain never goes away does it?" Greenlee says regarding Bianca closely.
Bianca nodded her head, looking out over the park. "No, it never goes away." She affirmed quietly.
Carefully, Greenlee sidles a little closer, adopting the same stance, looking out over the grounds like Bianca was. She states quietly. "It makes you want to do nearly anything as long as it makes you forget about your own pain, even if it's only for a little while, doesn't it?"
In an even quieter voice, Bianca replies. "Yeah."
"Maybe that's why you did the bet even though it wasn't something you would do. Maybe it helped you forget yourself for a little while."
Bianca glanced over at Greenlee, startled by the accurate observation. "Yeah, I guess so. Still, it wasn't right."
Greenlee shrugs. Meeting her eyes she asks. "Do you care about this Lena?"
"She's nice enough."
"But."
Bianca sighed. "But she's not my type. I don't even think I'm her type. She’s interested in climbing the corporate ladder and playing games."
"You never struck me as the type to play games."
"Not really, no."
The voice, so kind and soft it wrapped itself around Bianca before she realized it was a trap. "You were always so honest. It must have been so hard for you when Maggie turned you down. She's not Frankie though. Just like Carlos can't be Leo. And you don't like playing games so you told Maggie how you felt. That's why I don't understand why you couldn't tell me the truth. Why have Carlos send your emails to me?"
Bianca breaks away from the railing but not those eyes locked onto hers. "What? Carlos? I don't -"
"No!" Greenlee grabs the front of Bianca's jacket, her dark eyes as intense as her voice. "I want the truth Bianca. You knew what those words would mean to me. You knew exactly what to say, just what I needed to hear to help me, comfort me...What I want to know is why go through Carlos?"
"Greenlee I-" Bianca wanted to run. This wasn't how this was supposed to go at all. "I just wanted to help. I know how lonely it is and Carlos is a very sweet guy."
"But he's not like me, and he's not like you." Greenlee told the woman she still held captive. "He doesn't know about that all consuming love that fills you up and breaks you while bringing you to life all at the same time. He doesn't know how it kills the best part of you to lose that. So please," tears threatened to spill from eyes shining with need, "tell me why?"
Bianca's hands rise up and cover Greenlee’s fistful of Bianca's jacket. She takes a moment, staring deeply into eyes so familiar to her. No matter what happens now, she realizes she has to tell Greenlee the truth. "Because Greenlee, love is a promise. When I loved Frankie and she loved me back, it was a promise to her that I would do everything I could right by her. That meant no matter how hard it hurt, I couldn't give up. I'm not allowed to stop living. You and Leo had the same promise. And in a way I have a promise to Leo. He loved you so much, and he was such a loving friend to me, I couldn't see you suffer like that and not try to help. Leo can't be there for you so I offered to do my best in the only way I could think of. I'm sorry if I offended you."
Greenlee peers at her, releasing the jacket. "And you played Cyrano with Carlos...?"
"He really is very kind. Even if he doesn't know about loss and love like we do. He might have been good for you."
Greenlee measures Bianca, recalling the girl she used to know versus the strong, sombre woman in front of her. "You've changed."
"So have you." Bianca told her.
"You know," Greenlee went on, very casual, not wanting to scare the young woman, "my therapist said It was about time I was ready to move on and let someone into my life romantically."
"And are you?" Bianca looked away knowing the answer would hurt her either way. She wanted the best for Greenlee, wanted her to be able to have love again, but somewhere in the midst of pure intentions and good will she wanted other things for the woman that was her best friend's true love, things she wasn't allowed to want.
"Yes." Greenlee answered honestly, still watching her closely. "Carlos told me I would never be able to accept any man except Leo."
"I guess he was wrong." Bianca crossed her arms and turned away.
"Actually, he was right."
Bianca frowned at the words, feeling like she was supposed to understand something but it wasn't getting through. Gentle hands turned her around to face Greenlee. The woman looked up at her and explained compassionately. "I'm ready to let someone into my heart but it's not a man who found it."
She leans in and touches her lips to Bianca's, a velvet touch that makes them both close their eyes at the contact. She gazes up into shocked eyes darker than hers and tells Bianca the truth the woman helped reveal in Greenlee's heart.
"My heart is for the woman who knows how to keep her promises"
Fin