Dear Journal,
The world’s most weird and unexpected thing happened today. The day started out normal, I first went shopping and bought Laura a few things to make her feel better then visited her for awhile. Later on she got a bouquet of flowers from Leo. She’s still not over him. Seeing her like that made me want to cry, in more ways then one. I wanted to cry because I know she’s hurting and because seeing her nuts over Leo reminds me of how she’ll never feel that way towards me.
I’ve always known that but I guess some tiny part of me still believed that possibly she could learn to love me or that a tiny part of herself liked me but I know now that it will never happen. She’s never even mentioned my feelings for her after we discussed it at school maybe forgetting about them somewhat in all the chaos that’s been happening or maybe wanting to forget they exist at all. (I may never know what’s going on in her head, one second she’s the kind caring girl I have feelings for, the next she’s almost verbally attacking me like today after this really nice looking doctor checked on her she said something that offended me about how we were in the market for different types of people or something which only proceeded to make me feel worse by reminding me that I’m gay and she’s not) I then of course hid my feelings behind a smile and then tried to cheer her up by joking around. Then later Shannon and her idioticgroupshowed up and tried to stir up some trouble but Uncle Jack scared them away.
Oh well that’s not even what I really want to get off my chest. Today after Laura and I walked out announcing some silly plan we’d come up with Mom and Brooke were acting weird, they actually weren’t at eachothers throats over some stupid thing and actually were getting along! Brooke hugged Mom after we spoke a bit which I knew was a coverup for something at the time but now I’m not so sure. Later on after I got back home I was going upstairs to finish something that was then forgotten after what I saw. I didn’t mean to spy but it was just so shocking I couldn’t leave and I couldn’t interrupt. Brooke and Mom were sitting in the living room talking quietly so I could barely hear them, I could make out that Mom was tying to comfort Brooke though, she then took Brooke’s hand in hers and told her to be strong that everything would work out that she’d make sure of it or something (couldn’t hear her very well) and then I saw the look on Mom’s face, the faint glint in her eyes, that wasn’t sympathy I was seeing, it was a look I'd seen many times on the face of someone very dear to me...
...that person was Sarah. Mom dropped Brooke’s hand and the look vanished as quickly as it had appeared when she noticed me standing there. I smiled and acted like I saw nothing and had just walked in, said hi to Brooke hi to mom and went upstairs and here I am now. Now what to make of this I have no idea. Mom is no doubtedly straight, but maybe somehow without her even noticing Brooke crept into a small part of the somewhat cold heart of Erica Kane. I know Journal you must think I'm crazy but I know what I saw...it’s almost like something Shakespeare would write;
‘two mortal enemies settle their differences and find love in the least expected place, with eachother.’ haha. That sounds very corny but in all honesty I think it would be wonderful if something could happen between them. Needless to say Brooke could use someone to lean on and be comforted by now and why not Mom? Who knows? This actually could possibly work.
-Bianca
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