Piper-So much for being demon free.
Rob-Clubs are an extremely high risk business, Piper. You could lose your shirt.
Piper- Well, it wouldn't be the first time today.
Jenny-It doesn't matter.
Phoebe-If it matters to you it matters.
Jenny- It's almost that time of the month, you know and I need some...
Phoebe- Tampons?
Jenny-Right, yeah...
Phoebe-And you don't want to talk to your uncle about it?
Jenny- Yeah, I did but he went out and got sanitary napkins. Like that's gonna work.
Phoebe-We're screwed.
Piper-And we're out of wine
(Dan comes to door with wine)
Morris-Andy told me to tell you that if anything were to happen to him that it wouldn't be your fault. He didn't want to you to blame yourself.
Prue- Too late.
Phoebe-And we didn't even have to get naked.
Morality Bites
Phoebe-What’s that smell?
Prue-What did you buy?
Piper-Doodie
Prue-We weren’t out of that Phoebe-So what if he did, what is he going to do, cry witch?
Piper-I wonder how I look.
Phoebe-Piper, you look great, but this is hardly the time...
Piper-Not now, I mean in the future.
Piper-That old gotta save the world excuse again
Leo-Like you’ve never had to use it
Piper-What are we going to do?
Leo-What we always do.
Piper-Talk about it later.
Piper-Well if you ignore my apparently failed marriage, the fact that I'm still living in the manor.
Prue-Wait you were married
Piper-And my daughter
Prue-Wait you have a daughter, what's her name?
Piper-God, I don't know
Phoebe-Just because you don't understand something doesn't make it evil.
Phoebe -Why does everyone think I killed a man? I wouldn't, I couldn't what did I do premonition the man to death.
Leo-Your power has grown, changed as so have you.
Piper-Do you want to tell me how screwed we are?
Prue-Pretty screwed
Piper-Thanks
Piper-People normally break out of prison
Prue-Nothing about this is normal.
Guard-Freeze!
Piper-Good idea. (piper freezes him)
Pratt-I love the smell of dead witch in the morning.
Phoebe-Wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing. Our job is to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty.
Piper-This guy still hasn't learned his lesson.
Phoebe-Apparently neither have we.
Phoebe-Once you break the small rules it's only time before the big ones are next a very smart girl once told me we are supposed to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty.
(Leo comes to door)Piper-Speak of the angel.
Leo-I'm willing to work on it.
Piper-Good, don't ever forget you said that
The Painted World
Piper (About helping Jenny with her sex project)-Don't worry, I have plenty of experience.
Dan- With sex?
Piper-No, with talking about it. Piper (about Phoebe)-She's a walking Einstein with cleavage.
Phoebe-The human reproductive system? And your uncle wanted Piper to help you out with this?
Piper-If we get out of here I'll buy Phoebe a pair of shoes.
Prue-And I'll buy her the purse to match.
The Devil's Music
Leo-Look, I know your upset.
Piper-No, no. I skated past upset just after you came in the door. Right now I'm at furious. Leo- We have to talk.
Piper-You bet your whitelighter ass we have to talk.
Piper (about Leo)-The question is, where is the relationship?
Phoebe-Somewhere between confusing and complicated.
Piper-I'd rather just freeze him and kick him in the...(door bell rings)
Morris-Right, and this where you say Darroyl, and I say Prue and you say something like 'what are you doing here'.
Dan (about Jenny)-She's just feeling a little...
Piper-Betrayed. It's OK, I know the feeling.
Piper-I wish we could just stick his head in a toilet and make him cough up the demon.
Phoebe-Honey, are you still upset with Leo?
Piper-I'm talking about Carlton.
Phoebe-I can't keep up.
Leo- I do, the timing always just...
Piper (sees Morris)-Seems to suck.
She's a Man, baby, a Man
Piper to Phoebe-Sweet dreams, don't kill anyone. Alan-I'll call you.
(Alan walks away)Prue-The kiss of death.
Morris-Speaking of deadly kisses...
Phoebe-I’m sorry, wait a minute, I tell you that maybe I’m some kind of man killing demon and you want me to go to bachelor central.
Phoebe-I mean Piper turned into a werewolf once.
Piper- A Wendigo.
Phoebe-What-ever!
Darla to Prue-Oh, I can always tell the frustrated ones. You've been having man troubles lately, haven't you?
(later)Prue-For your information I do not have man troubles, financial ones now, but definitely not man troubles. Phoebe-Did you find anything in the book?
Piper (looking at Dan out window)-The book?
Prue-Or were you too busy looking at something else?
Piper- I was looking, you should see what I found.
Prue (looks out window at Dan)-Oh I see what you found all right.
Phoebe-I'm OK!
Prue (Manny)-I'm not.
( Prue's in bathroom)
Phoebe-C'mon it's been over an hour.
(Whispers to Piper)Do you think she's touching herself?
Prue (Manny)-How can I save anyone? I look ridiculous! I'm wearing clothes from the ex-boyfriend pile, I have hair in strange places, and I have a penis!
Piper-All you have to do is visualize a man you admire and emulate him. The walk will follow.
(Prue walks)
Piper- The man you admire is Richard Simmons?
Prue (Manny)-God, I would just hate to see her with a guy who only seeing on the third date runs away. Don't you hate men like that?
Dan- I don't know any men like that.
Prue (Manny)- Oh...uh...How about those niners?
Jan-Let me just say you are very in touch with your feminine side.
Prue (Manny)- You have no idea.
Jan-What do you look for in a women?
Dan- What do I look for? I don't know, I'm old fashioned I guess. I look for the girl next door. Someone with a good heart, good personality and looks to match. The kind of girl that when I leave for work in the morning I wait, just a little but, 'til she leaves for work, too. Just to catch a glimpse of that long dark hair and great smile. Hoping that she'll one day notice that I'm watching and smile back at me. Prue (Manny)- Nice truck. Phoebe-Did Manny just check out that girl's butt?
Piper-This is starting to get weird.
Phoebe-Starting to get weird? Where have you been?
Darla-Tell me...you're not a man, you're a woman.
Prue (Manny)-I'm a woman.
Darla- What?!
Piper-Looks like you learned something about being a man by being a man.
That Old Black Magic
Leo-The worst thing imaginable just happened.
(Piper and Dan walk in)
Phoebe- No kidding. Piper-This is wrong. He should be battling acne at this age, not evil witches.
Kyle-I'm not the chosen one. I'm no one.
Dan-Don't you have some other house to repair.
Leo-No.
Jenny to Kyle- Phoebe once told me that if it matters to you, it matters.
Phoebe-Well, I did find one spell, but it requires a human heart, and unfortunately we're all still using ours.
Piper-Well, take mine. All it does is gets me in trouble.
Leo- Snake!
Piper- Oh, I'm the snake, but you're the one who...
Leo-No, SNAKE!
Dan-I know that you and the handy-man, Leon.
Piper-Leo.
Piper-It's over. (Dan looks sad) Not you and me, him and me.
They're Everywhere
Prue- oh oh oh I think Jack’s a warlock
Piper Who?
Prue- Jack Sheridan the internet auction guy I met remember. I went to go get coffee he was standing in front of me then I went straight to the newsstand and he was there reading a magazine
Piper so he went from one place to another in the blink of an eye, you think he blinked.
Prue well yeah that’s what warlocks do right where’s Phoebe
Piper She’s volunteering at the convalescent hospital
Prue Great? wait you have to know if there’s a warlock test right
Piper- Me why would I know
Prue-Well I mean you are a warlock magnet
Piper-Am I never going to live Jeremy down you know you had that Rex and Hannah thing at work
Prue-Oh fine you have them in your love life I have them at the water cooler. What’ s up with the suitcase?
Piper-a little over nighter Dan’s friend is getting married in Taho and Dan invited me to come along.
Prue-In the same hotel in the same bed kinda thing
Piper-That has yet to be decided
(Prue holds up Pipers lingerie)
Prue-Oh so then this is just a tennis outfit right?
Piper-Give it to me thankyou
Prue-Oh I mean you did test him right you know he’s not a warlock
Piper-Dan is not a warlock no cats have hissed at him he hasn’t blinked and he has not tried to kill me or my sisters which you know is a key indicator. Piper (thoughts)-Hey, she's wearing my lipstick.
Prue-What, I can't borrow your lipstick?
Piper- I didn't say that Prue, I thought it.
Prue (thoughts)-Whatever just learn to share.
Piper- I heard that!
Phoebe-Why’s the book of Shadows down here?
Prue-Jack blinked
Piper-And kitt hissed at Dan
Prue-Right and we think they might be warlocks were looking for a test so that we could test them
Phoebe(thoughts)-Hello paranoid
Piper-We are not
Prue-Able to find a spell in the book of shadows
Phoebe-Just prick them warlock don’t bleed
Piper (thoughts)-Who knew
Prue (thoughts)-Phoebe the spell don’t tell her
Piper (thoughts)-Should we reverse it?
Prue (thoughts)-Not until we know if they’re really?
Phoebe- Are you two ok?
Piper (thoughts)-Yeah, next time just get your own damn lipstick.
Prue (thoughts)- I heard that.
Piper (thoughts)- I love you.
Prue (thoughts)- Bite me.
Phoebe (looks at Dan and thinks)-Nice butt.
Piper- Hey!
Phoebe-Wait, are you guys thinking something about me right now?
Jack-Prue
Prue-Jack you actually wear that to work?
Jack (thoughts)-oh Feisty Feisty
Jack- well when work puts me in front of an online server handling more then 5 million hits per day yeah I do.
Piper look don’t move (freezes Dan) This is going to hurt me a lot more than its going to hurt you
(Piper Pricks Dan)
(Phoebe comes down the stairs)
Phoebe-Piper we have to get to Eric... What’s the matter?
Piper-he didn’t bleed he’s not bleeding there’s no blood there’s nothing
Phoebe-yeah of coarse he isn’t bleeding he’d frozen his blood is frozen.
Piper-ok yeah right go back upstairs
(Phoebe is sitting on frozen Eric)
Prue (thoughts)- We have to go kill a warlock while she gets to sit on some guys...
Phoebe- Hey, hey, hey.
Prue- You heard that?
Phoebe-I think I need a hearing thoughts spell to know what you are thinking.
Dr stone- Did you find Eric?
Warlock-no
Dr Stone- not good he’s being protected by a time freezing witch
Warlock- and Bruce Lee’s little sister.
Prue (about Eric)-Do we have to protect him?
Piper- He is pissin' me off.
Piper to Dan- OK, I know what you are thinking.
Phoebe (thoughts)-Piper!
Dan (thoughts)-Someday, someway, somehow, I'm gonna make it through that damn door.
Eric-Are you sure you're not an angel.
Phoebe-No, I'm no angel, but I could probably introduce you to one, though.
Phoebe- Did we do something good?
Prue-You did something incredible.
P3 H2O
Phoebe (about Dan and Piper)-You guys are killing me with cuteness over here.
Piper-Don't you have somewhere to be, somewhere very far away? Jack-Hey, how's my favourite auctionette?
Prue-Fine. How's my favourite auction ASS?
Phoebe (in Elma Fudd voice)-Be very, very quiet. We're hunting demons.
Prue-I fell asleep, I woke up, and suddenly it's Thursday.
Piper to Dan-I feel I can tell you anything. (closes the door) except that there's a demon.
Leo-And that you're a witch. Sorry, that was...
Piper-The truth.
Sam-What matters most was taken from me 20 years ago.
Prue-Then we have something in common.
Piper-Dan, why are you at the back door?
Dan-When I knock at the front door I never seem to make it through the threshold
Ms. Hellfire
Phoebe-Hey, do you recognize that person?
Prue-I know, she looks vaguely familiar, kind of like a sister we used to have. What was her name?
Prue and Phoebe-Pip? Pippy? Pipe? Pipper? No...
Phoebe-What ever happened to her?
Prue-I don't know. She fell in love with the next door neighbour, started spending all of her time there. Piper-I don't even care that it's Friday...
Phoebe-Sh...don't even say it.
Piper-The 13th. See, I said it and nothing happened
(Bullets start flying through the window)
Prue-Who else would want to kill us?
Phoebe-Well, you know, you were a little sharp to the mailman yesterday, and we all know how testy they can be.
Piper-Freeze.
Phoebe-Kick.
Prue-Send flying.
Phoebe-Hey, you know, you can ask me anything you want about being a witch.
Morris- No thanks.
Phoebe-It's actually really cool. We have this book, it's called the Book of Shadows.
Morris-Too much information, Phoebe.
Phoebe-No, but it's...
Morris-Nothing I want to know about, I'm serious. I don't want to know anything.
Phoebe-C'mon. You don't even want to know if we fly or anything like that?
Morris-I don't even want to know if you own a damn broom, a skillet, a cauldron, a dust buster. I don't give a damn. Phoebe-More like you're working it. Phoebe to Prue-Remember, I taught you how to French kiss.
Piper-C'mon, we went to Duran Duran together. You stretched out my leg warmers.
Phoebe-And then you gave them to me.
Phoebe (about Bane)-I am beginning to see you attraction to the dark side.
Prue-It wasn't just his dark side I was attracted to.
Phoebe (about Barbus)-I never get used to kicking his butt.
Prue-No Darroyl, the ring is not hot.
Heartbreak City
Phoebe-Fifth wheel cutting in. Phoebe (Piper not in bedroom)-Prue guess who got lucky last night.
Cindy-He just walked into traffic. Dumb ass. Is he going to die? Because he should you know.
Drazi-Hiding behind witchs’? skirts?
Piper-Stealing things that don't belong to you?
Phoebe-What are you smiling at?
Cupid- You.
Drazi-So, you can't kill love after all. But you sure can screw with it.
Phoebe-I'm sorry, but did you do something specific to tick Drazi off or did he also find your honesty a complete pain in the ass?
Cupid-Your heart is closed.
Phoebe-I'm picky.
Prue-Everyone's got , including Jack and Dan.
Piper-Unless they are transvestite, Nazi, war criminals with great face lifts I think we got them beat.
Prue-Jack's scum.
Piper-Dan's scum.
Prue-Are you scum?
Piper-No, I'm not.
Phoebe-Hey, they don't call it "lover's leap" for nothing.
Cupid-Actually, lover's leap is a reference to suicide.
Jack-This better be good.
Piper-Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?
Dan-Don't buy the innocent act, she pulls it all the time.
Piper-Oh that's really pathetic, paging yourself.
Dan-Pathetic?
Piper-Oh, I'm sorry. I meant moronic.
Piper-What is going on?
Phoebe-Hate, and it's gotta stop.
Reckless Abandon
Phoebe (picks up Morris' butter knife)-Oh my god. I see blood, flesh. You had the sausage for breakfast, didn't you? Piper-I remember when Phoebe was a baby and it was hard on mum and with you dropping her all the time...
Phoebe-What?
(Matthew pees while getting his diaper changed)
Dan-Boys will be boys.
Piper-Wow, you are like McGiver with oestrogen.
Guard-Let me guess, your psychic friends?
Morris-Let me guess, you want to be a meter man?
Dan-He really is beautiful. Just like his cousin .
Piper (about Matthew)-We should be grateful we have a little time off.
Phoebe-Absolutely. (pause) I miss him.
Prue-Looks like we finally all fell for the same guy.
Elias-There are many things worse than death. You taught me that Martha.
Awakened
Dan-She just looks like she's sleeping, but I can't wake her up. Piper-Then can I go, because no offence but I hate hospitals.
Piper to Dan-And I know that you have been up for almost 24 hours by my side. I can't tell you how much that means to me, being there for me.
(Piper speeding around room)
Phoebe-I think I found a consequence.
Phoebe (about Dr. Williamson)-Well, his bedside manners could use some work.
Leo to Piper-I don't want to lose you.
Jack-Are you out of your mind.
Prue-I don't know, maybe.
Leo-Now that I'm a mortal I'm gonna fight for you. May the best man win.
Animal Pragmatism
Phoebe-There's a party tomorrow night. You should come.
Ethan-Why?
Phoebe-Because I'll be there. Pigman (sees hotdogs)-How could you do this to him? (throws hotdogs) Run, run my brothers!
Piper-Why don't they make a card that says 'You used to be my whiteliter and now your wings are clipped and you're sleeping in my club.'
Phoebe-Or how about 'You snooze you lose and now I'm getting naked with the neighbour.'
Piper-About tonight...
Dan-Tell me you're kidding. Just tell me you're kidding. Let me guess it's something to do with your sisters or maybe you will be vague and say important has come up. Or my favourite of all time, it's a matter of life or death.
Piper-Actually, what I was going to say, if you'd let me, is that I'm running a little late and could you wait for me at the bar.
Prue-How are we going on that spell?
Phoebe-You know you keep throwing that 'we' word around but I don't see you doing anything.
Phoebe-The good news is the spell worked.
Prue-And the bad news?
Phoebe-The spell worked on everyone.
Piper-I don't have a permit for this kind of party.
Phoebe-Rome wasn't built in a day.
Piper-But my club was ruined in the blink of an eye.
Phoebe (to animals)-I would like you all to know that I am a vegetarian. I have never eaten any of you.
Prue-Why do I have to carry the poisonous snake?
Piper-Cuz you're the oldest. You’ve lived a full life. Prue-So, think that's their car over there?
Piper-What, you want me to ask them?
Prue-You know what, you're a smart ass.
Leo's card-Piper, when we first met you thought I was just a handy man. Well, I am a handy man again. The same guy you fell in love with. Same guy who fell in love with you for who you are. Remember that I'm not giving up.
Pardon My Past
(Dan Leaves)
Leo-Well, I thought he would never leave. Phoebe-This is so embarrassing. I haven't needed my big sister to walk me to school since the first grade.
Dan-I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Piper-No, we were just...
Leo-Finished.
Piper to Dan-Trust me, you don't need to worry about Leo; he's an angel.
Phoebe (about past life)-I was bad. I was very, very bad.
Phoebe (about past life)-Feeling very, very bad. (pause) OK, I liked it. It felt good to be respected and powerful.
Phoebe (about old power)-That's too bad because it was hot. Literally.
Prue-That wasn't the only thing that was really hot.
Phoebe-Oh...yeah...Anton was hot, too. Oh, and he was such a good kisser and so good with his hands.
Piper-You saw Dan?
Phoebe-He was your husband. Sorry Leo.
Leo-That's ok. I'm hoping Piper learns from her past mistakes.
Christina to Phoebe-You broke my dolly!
Leo-Who strangled the evil witch?
Christina-That was my favourite dolly!
Phoebe (at retirement home)-Well, bright side-at least I'll never end up at a place like this in my golden years.
Piper (about Christina)-Is she OK?
Leo (just got punched out)-Yeah, I'm fine thanks for asking.
Phoebe-Thanks you guys for saving my life. All of them.
(Doorbell)
Leo-Saved by the bell (Dan at door) Or not.
Prue-It's just when you turn bad things tend to catch on fire.
Phoebe-And this is supposed to be making me feel better?
Phoebe-But it's ok to be bad sometimes, right?
Prue-Oh yeah, a lot.
Give Me A Sign
(Prue takes picture of herself in the mirror)
Prue-Portrait of a dreamer. (Phoebe in the bathroom writing spell)
Piper-Phoebe, you aren't in there writing a spell for me are you?
Phoebe-Uh...no...I'm in the bathroom. Who writes spells in the bathroom?
Morris-I got bad news and I got worse news. Which do you want first?
Delivery man-I got a sign here for Piper Halliwell.
Phoebe-Can I see that? LEONARDO's boutique.
Piper-Delivery man said he got a sign. Leonardo's boutique in Bodega Bay. Leo short for Leonardo, Bodega Bay, where Dan is from.
Phoebe-Hmm...
Piper-Don't act blonde. You cast that spell didn't you??
Lipvact-To find a mortal, all you need is to follow their heart. That is where they always escape to.
Prue-You can either take your pants off on your own, or I can do it by force.
TV reporter-The mariners lost to the Angels 8 to 7.
Bane-It's been a long time since anyone has believed in me.
Prue-Maybe it is because you stopped believing in yourself.
Prue-I've been thinking that dreams are just that, dreams.
Bane-I don't believe that.
Prue-This view is amazing.
Bane (looking at Prue)-It's not as good as mine.
Prue-What are you doing here?
Phoebe-We're saving you from the tall dark and naked man!
Prue-I told you guys to stay away.
Phoebe-I see why. He is yummy.
Prue-Thank you for saving my life.
Bane-Thank you for changing mine.
Prue-He thanked me for changing his life.
Phoebe-You must of been *really good*...
Piper-...Influence on him.
Prue-So, what was the outcome-Dan or Leo?
Piper-I never needed a sign to tell me where my heart lies.(looks over at Leo)
Murphy's Luck
Phoebe to Piper-Stop trying to redirect the future, alright? That's my job. Piper-What would I do without you?
Phoebe-Oh, suffer endlessly.
Maggie-Two angels, wow.
Phoebe-No, I'm just a student.
Maggie-I am able to give, I'm able to help people. I haven't been able to that in a while.
Maggie-It was like I was cursed.
Phoebe-Maybe you were cursed.
Maggie-I'm sorry, what?
Dan (on the phone)-You miss me?
Piper to Leo-No.
Dan-Really?
Piper-Oh, I was talking to the cat.
Piper-We can find a way to make this work. Somehow, someway.
Leo-I'll hold you to that.
How To Make A Quilt Out Of Americans
Amanda-We've been chanting for 15 minutes.
Gale-This is a séance, Amanda, not AT&T. (Piper Complaining about being a witch)
Phoebe-Wicca PMS?
Prue-I have a feeling it's much more than that.
Prue-Have you contacted the police?
Gale-And tell them what? That I think there's a demon running loose on our streets? They'd think I was crazy.
Piper-Try getting your boots cleaned.
Piper-Are you squinting?
Phoebe (Reading BOS)-No...
Gale-You must be really powerful witches.
Piper-Ah, rub it in.
Prue-There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing glasses. I wear them.
Phoebe-Yeah, well, you are older. (Piper Laughs) Well, you are.
Prue-You know, I really hope that the Demon of Vanity isn't after you because your soul would be toast.
Amanda-More tea girls?
Phoebe-No thanks. (Amanda pours it in her glass) I'd love some.
Phoebe-Just because he has our powers, it doesn't necessarily mean he knows how to use them.
(Later Cryto flinging things around with Prue's power)
Piper-So much for him not knowing how to use our powers.
Phoebe-Besides, do you have a better idea?
Piper (hopefully)-Go home and call it a day?
Piper-I'm only doing this for you guys, and if I die I'm gonna haunt the both of you forever.
Piper-Wanna see what does freeze? (Freezes Cryto)
(Cryto explodes)
Phoebe-Ouch, that looked like it hurt.
Prue-Well, I hope it did for Gale's sake.
Phoebe-Well, I'm always gonna wanna be a witch.
Prue-She's young.
Chick Flick
Prue (Takes picture of Piper)-I think I'll call this women pretending not to look out the window.
Piper-How about girl about to pour hot tea on sister's head? Piper-I know, I just feel like Dan got the short end of the stick.
Prue-There are so many ways I could go with that, but I think I'll just...
Piper-Thank you.
Prue-And the house is a mess, again. How come we can't fight the demon of cleanliness, of the demon of house cleaning. Or even that big bald guy, Mr. Clean, I would so totally take him on.
Piper-You can do your homework, pick the right restaurant, the perfect wine, waiting and chilled but it helps if you show up.
Dan (at restaurant)-Amelia, this is Leo and Piper.
Piper-Amelia, as in someone I just work with Amelia?
Dan-Well, here's your salt.
Leo-Well, at least he isn't pining away.
(Accordion player starts playing)
(Piper freezes restaurant)
Piper-Is this some kind of test?? (Unfreezes Leo)
Piper-Ok, so, I'd like everything to be normal, but there's only so much a girl can take.
Piper-I just wanted tonight to be perfect.
Leo-Well, it was, I was with you.
Prue (about Finley)-He just seems so giving and warm.
Finley (in very negative tone)-Can we get started, I'm on a schedule.
Prue-Hi, I'm...um...Mr. Beck, I'm...Prue Halliwell.
Finley (ignoring Prue)-So, when is this photographer blessing us with his presence?
Prue-That would be me.
Finley-You're 12.
Prue-Oh, I'm good.
Finley- I'll decide that...why don't you do something useful and get me some tea?
Phoebe-Will someone please tell me what's up with guys?
Piper-You don't really expect me to have an answer to that do you?
Phoebe-Ok, so, I have lunch with this guy from lab, right? He is totally melotonian guy.
Piper-That bad?
Phoebe-I'm keeping his number in case I have trouble sleeping.
(Leo orbs in)
Phoebe-Here I am talking about the shortage of perfect men and in orbs yours.
Piper-I found one of the good guys.
Leo-Unfortunately, I'm here to talk about the bad guys.
Phoebe-No shortage of those!
Demon of Illusion (in movie)-I should have known the disappearing demon act wouldn't fool you for long.
Prue-Yeah, all you really did was piss us off.
(Prue tries to use power on demon and it doesn't work)
Demon-Silly Wiccan, tricks are for kids.
(Billy staring at Phoebe from in movie)
Phoebe-I think he's staring at me!
Billy-Hi.
Phoebe-Hi!
Prue-I hate to put a damper on your little love connection here, sis, but we need to kick some ass.
Demon-Oh, is that what you are going to do? Any idea on how you intend to do that? Or are you just going to flirt me to death like your little tardy sister?
Billy-Watch your language in front of the ladies!
Demon-Oh, I'm sorry. Was it the word sister that bothered you? How about bitch? Does that go down easier?
Billy-Is there a point in this scene when someone explains my part to me?
Piper-Phoebe, you brought home the fictitious character as a play date, you tell him.
Phoebe-You're right, we should have left him at the movie theatre, he would have really blended in there.
Billy-Where's the music?
Phoebe-What music?
Billy-This is around the third second act, right, when everything is about to be explained. Where's the music we're supposed to talk over to build suspense and hide the exposition? Don't you hate the exposition?
Phoebe-Don't even get me started...
Prue-Phoebe, maybe you should do something with Billy. You know, add a little Technicolour to him.
(Finley in door of manor)
Finley-Dark room would be where?
Piper-So, that's Finley?
Prue-My hero.
Finley-Don't mind me, I'm just wondering through your house.
Demon-Now, ladies and gentlemen, let's make your PG lives rated R.
Billy-It's ok, I like to hear what you think.
Phoebe-Now, you have to be careful not to say that because every girl will know that you are not for real.
Billy-I think you're swell, Phoebe.
Phoebe (yells down to Prue, who is with Finley)-Oh, well, I really need to DEMONstrate something for you.
Prue-OK, what is it?
Phoebe-Once you finish your thing and I finish my thing then we really need to go meet Piper and Leo and finish the thing that we saw at the?
Prue-Thing?
Phoebe-Yeah, exact-I love you!
Finley-I found what's wrong with your work, Halliwell. Absolutely no depth.
Prue-Now would that be the technique or the subject?
Finley-Excuse me?
Prue-I wish I could. Your work meant more to me than you will ever know and because of that I have carried around the illusion of what it would mean to me to meet you and that would make me appreciate your work even more. But now it is so hard for me to even look at your pictures because I think of the man who took them. And it is so devastating to me that the brilliance of your eye is completely shattered by the ignorance of your mouth.
(Photo starts to burn)
Finley-See, that's the thing about art, Ms. Halliwell. If you leave a subject under the light too long, it burns.
Piper-It wasn't much of a date last night, wanna find some seats in the back and make out before demon hunting?
(Demon puts spell on audience)
Piper-Well, I'm ok, you're ok. Magic perk.
Demon-Didn't you hear the management? Please refrain from talking.
Phoebe-Wait a minute, this Paul Bunyon with a lobotomy, he's from Axe Husband. I saw it last week.
Prue- We so need to monitor your viewing habits.
Piper-I'm being stalked by a psycho killer and I hide in the shower?!
Phoebe-So, maybe, this is the only way the psychos know how to die, is how they were killed on screen
Piper-How am I supposed to know that? I'm a romantic comedy type. Why go to horror movies when they come to you?!
Phoebe (to Bloody Mary)-We have got to do something about that completion.
Piper (Looks at messy attic)-Does anyone else get sick of cleaning up after these guys?
Billy-It's ok, the man is here to save the day.
Prue-Billy, it's the 21st century, it's the women's job to save the day.
Piper-It's over.
Phoebe-Don't ever say that. Every time someone says that in the movies something always goes (door bell).
(Morris at door)
Piper-Serious face? It's ok, we're too tired for pleasantries.
Piper-You mean go into the movie? Can we even write a spell for that?
Phoebe-I could probably whip up a spell or something.
Prue-Phoebe's pharmaceuticals.
Phoebe (in the black & white movie)-Check me out, I'm retro.
Demon-So, these are the mighty Charmed Ones? Oh...watch me run in fear!
Piper-Prue, I don't know what else we can do.
Demon-And you're supposed to be the perky one. You should really try and not be so negative. How does it feel to finally know someone you can't defeat?
Prue-I don't know, you tell me. You know is you leave a subject under the light too long it burns.
Prue-You can love the work but not the man.
Piper-What if you love them both?
Phoebe (to Billy)-Thank you for restoring my faith in the male species.
Leo (about date)-I especially like the look on your face when the accordion player broke out in that song.
Piper-Are you making fun of me?
Phoebe to Prue (about Finley)-Did you get to tell off the demon on crankiness today?
Phoebe (very overjoyed about Prue's gift)-I love it! I'm going to go watch it right now! (Goes running off)
Piper-Should we worry?
Prue-She's just saying goodbye, I think.
Ex Libris
(Leo orbs in)
Prue (hugs Piper and whispers)-OK, and no sex without safe sex. Leo (in shower)-Piper, could use pass me a towel? Prue?!
Prue (enjoying this thoroughly)-Leo?...nice orbs...
Leo-Whitelighter pay sucks.
Phoebe to Piper-How about you take this ghost, and I'll take the next two ghosts?
Dan to Piper-You know, I'm still here for you; I'm still your friend.
Phoebe-Prue, help me get my demon and I promise I'll do everything I can to help you get yours.
Piper-Who's that?
Phoebe-My dead friend.
Charlene-Well, at least if I couldn't please my own father, I could please someone else’s.
Prue-I know what you mean.
Astral Monkey
Phoebe to Piper-An angel brought you back to life, trust me, you're cured. Piper-Prue, you don't think Leo lives here, do you?
Prue-Well, I mean, yeah-of course he does. But, I mean it's fine. As long as you're happy that's all I really care about, not that I was unhappy when I saw Leo all naked in the shower and...wet...
Leo (to Phoebe, cleaning out Piper's closet)-Ever done it on a cloud?
Phoebe-It don't know, does a feather bed count?
Leo-Phoebe?! I thought you were Piper.
(Prue Monkey astral projects to where Prue is photographing Evan)
Prue-What a cute monkey.
Evan- Monkey? (Prue Monkey astral projects back to body) What are you talking about?
Prue-You are never going to believe what happened today.
Phoebe-Yes, I will. I saw Notting Hill.
Prue-What are you talking about?
Phoebe (points to flowers)-They're from Evan. I hope you know you're stealing my dream man.
Phoebe-Are you going to tell me why he sent you flowers?
Prue-You know, I have no idea.
Phoebe-Huh, and they say the youngest is the most naive.
Piper-Prue, you're back early.
Prue- Yes, that's because a MONKEY astral projected to me on the set today.
Phoebe-A monkey?
Piper-Astral projected?
Prue-Yeah, and it waved at me like it knew me or something. I think it needed my help.
Phoebe-Honey, I think you're working way too hard.
Piper-Prue, honey, I don't think monkeys can astral project.
Prue-BOS.
Phoebe-BOS? Oh! Book of Shadows...
Leo-Dr. Williamson is cosmically screwed.
Evan to Prue-You're working the bad boy image. < p>
Apocalypse, Not
Phoebe-But I gotta hand it to those pesky little demons. They sure have brought us a lot closer together.
Prue-Yeah, maybe you should write them a thank you note. Prue-I thought you guys went to dinner?
Piper-We did, and then for dessert we did some demon hunting.
Morris-In my professional opinion, the whole city has lost its fricken mind.
Phoebe-What just happened?
Piper-I think we just vanquished our sister. Phoebe, we killed Prue.
Phoebe-Piper, stop it, ok? I don't want to hear that.
Piper-Do you think I want to say it? I'm the one who made the potion, Phoebe, it's my fault.
Phoebe-How about having a little faith, alright? Our magic has never let us down before.
Piper-Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?
Death-A pentagram, our lucky sign.
Phoebe-Actually, a pentagram was a sign of good energy until your side stole it.
Strife-It's your standard chant to destroy the common witch. Clearly, you're no common witch.
Phoebe-Thank you.
Phoebe-They'll all get to dance another day and what do we get? We saved the whole darn world. The least we could get is a thank you.
Be Careful What You Witch For
Piper-Phoebe!
Phoebe-Why does everyone always Phoebe me? Piper to Prue-But you don't need Dick.
Phoebe-Leave the genie with the cripple. I'm not really in a wishing mood.
Prue-What's good?
Dick-Caesar?s fine. Pasta's fine. Fish is fine. Steak is...
Prue-Fine?
Dick-Yeah, actually, how did you know?
Prue-Wild...guess. What have I gotten myself into??
Genie-How about great fortune? Want that?
Phoebe-After taxes? Not worth it.
Phoebe-Your job has its limitations.
Genie-Yeah, well, so does yours. (Looks at injured ankle)
Phoebe-Occupational hazard.
Phoebe (flying)-Piper! I can't get down! I don't know how I got up.
Teen Prue (Phoebe flying)-That is so totally cool! So, do I get that power when I get old, too?
Piper-All right, let's get some things straight. We are not old, we are just older than you for some reason.
Piper-Are you sure you don't remember anything? About witches? Genies? Dick?
Teen Prue-No, but it sound totally bitchin'. (Flips through BOS). This is such a cool book. What is it?
Piper-I'll tell you when you're older.
(Prue sees Dragon yelling about stolen power)
Teen Prue-Oh my God! Who's the hottie?!
Phoebe-Flying's awesome. It's the landing part that's a bitch.
Genie-You're probably a little bit upset?
Piper-No, I've moved past upset and right to PISSED OFF!
Dan to Piper-Please, just go away. I don't want to know anymore. And I don't want to know anymore about you.
Leo-Be careful what you wish for.
Phoebe-Oh, I am a reformed wish-a-holic.
Prue-And I'm going to work on finding Mr. Right. Not settling for...Dick.
Piper to Leo-Take me to your leader.
