Cast Party Okay, here it is, due to popular request, part three of the saga I started with "Xena Lawless." This in no way qualifies the three of them as a trilogy because, in all frankness, "YAXI..." and now this one, were never planned. If you really want to call them a trilogy, then, please, put the word "Misnamed" before it. Sure, I borrowed that from Douglas Adams, but hey, it's only right.

DISCLAIMER 1: I do not know Renee O'Connor, Lucy Lawless, Rob Tapert, Steven Sears, Eric Gruendemann or anyone else I might possibly mention that has some sort of XWP connection, nor do they endorse my work. As far as I know, they don't even know it exists.

Nor do I know when Ms. Lawless became pregnant in terms of hiatus and production scheduling. I'm probably way off.

What is herein contained is fiction drawn from real events. I don't know what the XWP cast parties are like or what kinds of festivites happen. They may not even HAVE a cast party, I don't know.

I can guarantee you this - those blooper reels you and I get from Creation aren't everything.

In my estimations, not backed up by anything more than my knowledge, albeit limited, of The Biz, on the average, the folks at RenPics make about 25 episodes of Xena a season at one hour a piece. Approximately one week is spent on each ep, not including second unit, special FX, foley, looping, heck maybe even editing. Each day's work may consist of between 12 and 15 hours of work depending on what kind of scenes have to be done, how well they're blocked, and barring any sort of on the set mishaps...yadda, yadda, yadda...

I have two "complete" blooper reels from an old sitcom and they're about 45 minutes each. Furthermore, they aren't exactly the kinds of bloopers you can show on TV or send out through a fan club, if you catch my drift. That was a half hour long sitcom...now think about what you see every week for Xena.

The bloopers herein contained are mostly fictional and the rest are from the bloopers from the reels that Creation sends out.

DISCLAIMER 2: I do not own the characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Ares, Joxer, Callisto or any of the other Xena pantheon. That honour belongs to Renaissance Pictures and Studios USA.

The story is copyright 2000 Kimyoo Films.

DISCLAIMER 3: I do not own the songs herein contained. At the end of the fict, there is a complete song list with origins.

DISCLAIMER 4: I do not own the licence or patent or whatever to the Sony Playstation or any of the games I mention.

I'm well aware that the PSX Xena game came out after season three, but I just had too much fun writing the bit to take it out.

SUBTEXT / SEXUALITY DISCLAIMER: I know some of y'all are drooling for a torrid sex scene or five between ROC and Lucy, but the most you're gonna get here are some compromising situations.

I believe Xena and Gabrielle are lovers. In this series of ficts - starting with "Xena Lawless," and continuing with "YAXI; or Once More, With Feeling" - concern the "What if Lucy and Renee were attracted to each other" idea. If you don't dig that, don't read this fict. It's as simple as that.

SPOILER DISCLAIMER: This fict takes place just after they wrap up season 3 shooting. There may be spoilers for season 3 and season 4.

LANGUAGE DISCLAIMER: Yeah, they've got potty mouths...*shrugs*

SUGGESTION: If you haven't read them, I recommend reading the first two beforehand. I'll be making references to events described in them and if you can't fake knowing what's going on, you'll be confused.

SPECIAL THANKS TO: Evy for finding the Gloria Estefan song and feeding me the lyrics. Bill for pointing things out. Steve for the JtToU gag reels which were a major part of my inspiration. My muse for never giving up the hope that we'd finish this really long story, thus giving me leave to write the really weird fan fictions...=)

Otay, let's roll....
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"Cast Party" by Magenta (the_AURYN@angelfire.com) story copyright 2000 Kimyoo Films.

PART ONE

*Oh...God. The cast party is today.* This was Renee O'Connor's first thought as she woke up from another exotic dream about her beautiful co-star. Usually, she loved going to the Xena: Warrior Princess cast parties, but things have been very different since the accident on the set of "Tsunami" and the night she and Lucy Lawless spent in the doctor's trailer, perhaps even the night in the cave.

*It didn't happen that long ago,* she reminded herself, though it certainly did feel like it happened a while ago. *Or that it should have...*

The blonde rolled over onto her back, a smile on her face as she remembered kissing Lucy's remarkably soft lips and feeling her soft, smooth skin beneath her fingertips. *Ooh, let's not go there...,* Renee thought as she felt a blush crawl up her fair cheeks.

She sighed and sat up in the bed she shared with her long-time love, Steve Muir. She could smell the coffee in the percolator and the breakfast he was cooking.

*Uhoh...something's up,* she remarked, ruefully, noting that he never got up before her, much less had coffee and breakfast all ready going, unless he had to break plans unexpectedly.

Before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day, Renee peeked around the corner of the bedroom into the kitchen directly caddycorner to it. "Okay, what's going on?" she asked Steve, startling him out of a revelry.

"Whaddayamean?" he replied, indignant. He flipped over the pancakes that were cooking in front of him.

"C'mon, Steve. I know you better than that." She stepped out into the living room and crossed her arms over her chest. "Can't go to the cast party tonight?"

Her boyfriend smiled apologetically. "Maura and Craig called in sick. I've got to go to the bar and cover both of their shifts."

He put down the spatula he was holding for the pancakes, crossed the room and wrapped her in his arms. "I'm sorry, hon...but there's no one else. I have to go."

"I know. It's okay. We both have crazy schedules... No worries." Steve smiled at her again and bent to kiss her, but Renee stopped him before he could claim her lips.

"Steve? Breakfast..."

Suddenly, the smell of burning pancakes wafted into Steve's consciousness. "Ah...SHIT! Bloody hell!" he shouted as he ran over to the stove to deal with the crispy cakes before the smoke got to the alarms.

The blonde smiled and walked over to the bathroom.

*****

The noontime Kiwi sun poured unfettered into Lucy's bedroom, slowly pulling the raven-haired woman out of another particularly erotic dream about her gorgeous blonde co-star. She found herself alone in the big bed, a note in front of her alarm clock:

Morning hon...sorry I'm not here with you, but Sam called me early this morning and said that he needed me in L.A. ASAP. I've postponed the cast party until I get back cuz I don't want to miss out on it. Eric should be making all the necessary calls. Be back in a couple days.

Love you,
R.

Lucy studied the note, wishing that she wasn't such a sound sleeper...she must have slept through the phone call and Rob's frantic dig through their closets and drawers.

*I'm surprised he didn't wake me up to ask me where things were.*

She sat up and sighed. Daisy was in California with her dad and Rob had just left abruptly...the cast party was cancelled and she was all alone in the house.

*Mmm...not for long,* she thought to herself, a wicked smile creeping across her face as she stood to make a phone call.

*****

*Oh...Goddammit...* thought Renee as she heard the phone ring. Steve had left for work mere moments ago, just after she got into the shower. She had worked up a good lather on her hair when the phone rang. The blonde listened for the answering machine to start, hoping that Steve remembered to turn it on before he left. *Sorry, I'm just gonna have to get back to you.*

*****

*Oh, c'mon...pick up,* thought Lucy as she let the phone ring and ring. Finally, she got the machine.

"Hey Ren, it's me. Ring me up when you get this message. Bye."

*They must not be awake yet,* the woman thought, absentmindedly picking at a curled up label on an old envelope that was by the phone.

She was jealous, there was no denying that, but she and the blonde didn't know just what to do. They both wanted to tell their significant others about their affair, but whether it was the fates or their own cowardice, the time never seemed right.

Lucy sighed and stood to make herself a cup of tea and read the paper as she waited for her love to call her back.

*****

The blonde gingerly stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in their big white towels, then grabbed her fluffy teal terrycloth robe and shrugged it on, her long strawberry blonde hair wrapped in a towel.

She walked out into her living room, met by her cat, Kia Ora, who rubbed up against her leg. "Hi honey...yeah, yeah...I'll feed you in a minute, just lemme go check the machine."

The cat meowed and walked into the kitchen to wait for its smelly tinned feast.

Renee pushed the message button, then walked into the kitchen to feed her cat.

"Hey Ren, it's me. Ring me up when you get this message. Bye."

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard Lucy's voice on the machine and a lascivious smile formed on her lips. She didn't have to hide it from anyone since Steve was gone and as long as she got fed and petted, Kia Ora didn't care about Renee's personal life.

Quickly, she cleaned out the tin, then practically ran over to the phone to call Lucy back. Renee calmed herself down as she dialed the number and waited for Lucy to pick up.

"H'lo?" answered Lucy.

The blonde smiled into the phone. "Hi."

Lucy could hear the smile in her love's voice and it echoed on her own lips. "Hey there," she purred into the receiver, forgetting why she had called in the first place, drowning in the voice on the other end of the line.

"What's up?"

"Well...what're you doing tonight?" Lucy silently prayed that Renee and Steve hadn't already made plans.

"The cast party is tonight, remember?"

"You don't know?"

"Know what?" asked the blonde.

"Rob had to take off for L.A. early this morning and he postponed the cast party cuz he didn't want to miss it.
"So do you and Steve have any plans?"

"Well, actually, Steve has to work all day and night. Both Craig and Maura called in sick."

"Well...you want to come over?"

Renee's heart just about leapt out of her chest, especially when a particularly graphic bit of her dream flashed over her eyes. "Of course! Want me to bring a movie?"

Lucy smiled at the quick response. "Naw...let's just ring pay-per-view.
"What do you want for dinner?"

A few mildly inappropriate responses flashed through the blonde's mind before she answered, "Whatever sounds good to you."

*I don't think you're that flexible, Ren,* Lucy thought, making herself blush, while she actually replied, "I'll order some Chinese?"

"Ooh, a woman after my own heart. That sounds good. What time do you want me there?"

*Now,* the raven-haired woman thought. "Come over 'round six thirty...how's that?"

"Mmm...can't wait."

"Me either... See ya then," Lucy said, smiling.

"Yeah. See ya," Renee replied, returning the smile.

They both hung up happy campers, realizing that the day was shaping up nicely.

Renee looked over at a clock. "One thirty three...UGH the suspence!" She smiled as she tried to decide how she was going to pass the time.

Renee stood up and leafed through her bookshelf. She had tons of books, some she hadn't even read yet, but she knew her mind would wander no matter how good the book was.

She glanced at the television. *There's never anything good on TV...what's on right now? Probably bloody EastEnders...weird how New Zealand TV plays British soaps...*

She was about to turn back to the bookshelf when she noticed Steve's Playstation. She didn't really like video games, they just wasted time that could be used for more intelligently challenging pursuits, but, what the heck. She needed to waste some time.

Renee pulled the binder that held all of Steve's games and started to flip through them for something that looked even moderately interesting. "Oddworld? No, that's my life... Resident Evil? Nope. Duke Nukem? He plays that game too damn much..."

The blonde continued to flip through the binder. She was about to give up on the video game idea when she saw a CD with a graphic on it was disturbingly familiar - resembling a certain round killing thing. "Oh, no...you have got to be kidding me."

As the blonde put the game into the Playstation console and turned on the power, the house rang with her laughter. *Her breasts aren't that pointy...hell, my breast aren't that pointy.*

She studied her video game self. *God, why didn't they contact us to do the voices? I mean, I AM Gabrielle, for crying out loud...and Lucy's Xena...*

Renee sighed and shook her head as she picked up the controller and went into the practice screen. She messed around with all the buttons and read all of the signs to get the finer points of controlling Xena. *Lucy has GOT to play this...she'd get a kick out of it, with the exception of the Kathleen Turner wannabe who dubbed her voice.*

*****

*Hmm...it's two o'clock...what am I going to do for four and a half hours? I wonder what Renee's doing...* Lucy looked around the living room. If they were still in production and she had this much off-time, she'd be studying a script.

Sighing, she absently flipped through her mail pile, her eyes alighting on a new Sam Raimi script her husband wanted her to read. *I know all about the infamous Raimi reputation for nepotism, but it won't kill me to at least read the script. Then I won't have to lie to Rob.*

She settled in with the script and her reading glasses, anxiously looking up at the clock praying that six thirty would hurry up and get there already.

*****

"Oh JEEZUS! C'MON! Keep up or I'll kill you myself!!" Renee was swinging the game controller up, down and all around, thinking that in some odd way, the movements would help Xena or at least Gabrielle.

"No, dammit!! Gabrielle, what the hell...I play you, fer Pete's sakes, I know you can kick more ass than this. You're the bloody Amazon QUEEN!! You don't just pull the mask or the right of caste out of a Cracker Jack box!"

The blonde squealed in delight when Xena picked up a staff. "Aha!! Xena's got a staff, I am Gabrielle...time to kick some real ass!
"Oh, HELL no! Gab. Dammit, blondie, get the hell outta the way!! Oh fine then. Scream for Xena!"

Frustrated, Renee sat back and let the renegade Amazons batter Xena and Gabrielle. In a sudden surge of energy, she grabbed the controller and made Xena do several rapid spin kicks to knock the swarming Amazons away. She finished the level only to have the gates close behind her, separating the warrior from the bard.

"Dammit! Went through all of that and they STILL got me...her...us. Whatever."

The blonde saved her game, having been careful throughout to get ALL of Gabrielle's scrolls, then looked at the clock, the next board loading up in the meantime. "Four thirty...wow!" her heart leapt when she realized that she only had two more hours until she had to be at Lucy's.

*****

Lucy put down her reading glasses and took a sip of her tea, pondering the script. *Pretty good. Well, it was a good read, but I don't know how well it'll translate. If anyone can do it, it's Sam.*

She wished that she lived with Renee so she could have a real opinion on it, rather than her husband, who was Sam's best friend.

She looked at the clock. *Five o'clock...she'll be here in an hour and a half!* With that, she stood and started to tidy up the living room, the evening's plans forming in her head. She grinned lasciviously and headed for the shower before she had to order the Chinese.

*****

*I just want to finish this board,* thought Renee as she noticed it was quarter to six. Since Lucy didn't want her to bring anything, all she had to do was get dressed and drive over.

"Xena, help," she mocked her video game incarnation. "If you hadn't noticed, Gabrielle, I'm fighting the final bad guy, thank you." The blonde made Xena duck this way and that to avoid the charging she-bitch that was Kalabrax.

"C'mon, hit the columns," she said as if she were coaxing a pet or a small child from its hiding place. "That's it. YES!" she screamed when the enemy slid into the final column, making the roof collapse. Renee had Xena safely away with Gabrielle on top of the offering slab.

Watching the ending animation with interest, the blonde commented, "Nope. No subtext there." On screen, Xena and Gabrielle shared a long hug, too long to be just friendly.

Satisfied, Renee saved her game and shut off the machine, knowing she'd get to feel the real thing tonight. She smiled as she sifted through her closet, deciding on a black slip dress and black heels for the evening.

Other than brushing it, she also decided to leave her hair alone and wear very little make-up. Some mascara, some powder, and simple lip gloss. Grabbing her keys and her wallet, she took one more appraising look in a mirror, pausing to bid Kia Ora a good evening.

"Be good and no parties," she said, backing out the door to make sure the cat didn't bolt outside between her legs.

The sky was taking on the pale blue of approaching sunset when she got into her black four door Saturn and drove to Lucy's house.

*****

*It's quarter after six. Checklist: The Chinese should be here in ten minutes, Ren in fifteen...lessee. Candles, blanket, wine, glasses, I'm clothed. All's well.*

Lucy realised that she was a little nervous. *What is there to be nervous about? This isn't like a date or anything.*

Smoothing her raven hair behind her ears, Lucy looked herself over in the mirror. *Look how you're dressed...no, it's not a date,* she commented sarcastically. She wore a low-cut, vibrant red top that looked as if it wrapped around her and a solid black skirt with a rather high slit up the right side. The skirt came down to her knees.

Abruptly brought out of her daydreaming by the doorbell, Lucy shook off her thoughts. *The Chinese...*

*****

Renee glanced at the clock in her dash board. *Six twenty five. Great. I'll be right on time.*

She drove along in her car, bopping to the beat of "Every Little Thing" by the Police, hidden by her well-tinted windows.

The Chinese delivery car passed the blonde on the road, making a smile spread across her face. Lucy knew she loved Chinese takeout. *This is going to be a great night...*

Continued HERE.

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