Nope, sorry. This isn’t about “The Hulk”. Yes, that was a fairly good action movie (not as good as “Daredevil”, mind you), but I’m thinking a little further back. Something that turned into a trilogy and is a definite part of pop culture. No, it’s not “Star Wars”. Green, remember? No, Yoda doesn’t count. There were four of these guys and another hairy one. Early nineties. Eighties if you count the comics or first cartoon series. Think Jim Henson Production without Kermit or Miss Piggy. Add in a little kung fu and Vanilla Ice. Got it yet? Oh, yeah. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
You watched the cartoons in the late eighties and early nineties. Don’t deny it. You did, and you liked it. More often than not you had a favorite one, too. Maybe it was the leader, Leonardo, with the blue mask and the swords. Or maybe the orange-clad “surfer-ish” Michelangelo with his nun-chaks. Raphael in red had the sai’s, and who could forget the technological genius, Donatello, in his purple mask and yielding his sparring staff? And why stop at the turtles? Others might say that their sensei, Splinter, an equally mutated rat, was the best, and even some would rather go for the villains, Shredder and his minions, BeBop and Rock Steady. Of course, this is just the cartoons, and I’d actually like to talk about the movies.
Yep, there are three of them; “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie”, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze”, and “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time”. Yes, I know all of the titles for I have all three movies on DVD. Hey, I’ll start right off saying that these are the types of movies where you buy the entire series all at once. One guess onto how the rest of this movie review is going to go.
The first one starts off as you’d expect; it gives you a hint of how they came to be up to this point and leads up to the point where the pizza-loving green guys meet April O’Neil, a reporter for Channel Three News in New York City and how they first come into contact with Casey Jones, a straggly looking street hockey player if you ever saw one. Now, enter the Shredder, an old foe of Splinter, and his plans for domination of the Big Apple. It doesn’t seem like much of a storyline at this point, but there are a lot of finer details that I simply can’t describe. It’s an experience you must see for yourself.
Same goes for the second one. It’s a great sequel, especially the music. If you’ve never heard the song “Ice, Ice, Baby” by Vanilla Ice, then I’m wondering where you’ve been for the last decade. (It was even supposed to be my class song, however for some reason or another, it wasn’t even an option, and we ended up with “Living on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi.) Well that song isn’t in the movie, but another Vanilla Ice favorite, “Ninja Rap”, has you jamming along and cheering on the turtles. “Have you ever seen a turtle get down?” If you’ve seen this movie, then yes, you have. Basically, the Shredder is back in his old habits, trying to take over New York City and do away with the turtles yet again. Also in this one, you get a little more in-depth as to exactly how the turtles and Splinter became mutated.
The third one, however, is more of an original storyline. April, Casey, and the guys are already friends, but as April is heading off for her vacation, all of them get a huge surprise from one of April’s flea market finds, an archaic Japanese time travel device. Yep, you guessed it; April’s sent back through time to feudal Japan, and our four heroes go save her. A lot of people have said that this particular one is more geared towards children which may be right, but that doesn’t stop us from enjoying it.
“It’s the green machine; gonna rock this town without bein’ seen.” Actually, you should see them. Trust me, it’s that good. Separately, I’d give these movies an A, A-, and B+, but together, it’s just awesome. Insert all 80’s words like tubular, slammin’, and bodacious here. Cowabunga dude, this is a totally rad set of movies.
