Part Twelve
 

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Lee Stetson had tried to reach both Amanda and the Agency by phone on several occasions. Unfortunately, as the General had warned him, calls abroad were restricted.  The telephone that he had access to on the base, was blocked from making overseas phone calls and he hadn’t been given any access codes.  Instead, he dialed the American Embassy in Riyadh, constantly and eventually got through.   Lee made an appointment to meet someone in person, after trying in vain to explain his problem over the phone.   Despite his scheduled appointment, he waited in the crowded office at the American Embassy, for over an hour.

“Lee Stetson?” an elderly woman finally called out.

“Yes,” Lee stood up and followed her as she shuffled, slowly, to her disorganized office.

The first impression Lee Stetson had of Edith Dallyrimple, gave him little faith that she would be able to help.  Edith appeared to be a scatterbrained old woman, who continually hummed to herself.   Wearing thick glasses, that were years out of style, Lee was certain they were from an old prescription.  He wondered if she could even read the print on all the forms that were strewn across her cluttered desk.

Studying the paperwork he’d filled out in triplicate, Edith scrunched her nose and looked up at him.  Pointing her crooked, arthritic finger at him, she reviewed his file yet again.  “Mr. Stetson, you told me on the phone you worked for the Agency in Washington, but you were sent to Iraq as a CIA operative.  Now, you’re being housed by the US Army, but you’re not a member of the armed forces.  Is that correct?”

“Yes,” he answered, gritting his teeth in frustration.  He’d explained the details to her over the phone only yesterday.

“See, that’s your problem.  The Army has no jurisdiction over you.”

“Or any incentive to send me home.”

“The Army has enough on its plate, Mr. Stetson,” she harangued.  “You, I’m afraid, are nothing more than an unfortunate bystander in this mess.”

Lee was beginning to lose his patience with this woman.  He anxiously ran his hand through his short-cropped hair.  “Mrs. Dallyrimple…”

“Don’t use that tone with me, young man,” she scolded, scrutinizing the paperwork in front of her.  Opening a desk drawer, she pulled out more forms and thumbed through them.  “And refrain from calling me Mrs. Dallyrimple.  My name’s Edith and I suspect that we’re going to be good friends before this is over.”

“Edith, as I’ve told you on the phone, the easiest way to clear this matter up, is to contact my supervisor in Washington.  His name is Melrose, William Melrose.”

“Do you want me to clear up the matter or do you want to go home?  Because the way I see it, that’s two entirely different topics and I think you want to go home.”

Lee focused on the heavyset woman and realized his initial impression of her, was dead wrong.  For whatever reason, Lee Stetson had brought out the best in this overworked, underpaid, government employee.  “Mrs…. Edith, I want to go home.”

“That’s what I thought,” she answered, sorting through forms and slapping the drawer closed.  “You’ve been going about this the wrong way, Lee, my boy. I hope you don’t mind me calling you Lee?  Did you come over here with a passport?”

“Lee’s fine, and no, there wasn’t time to pick up my passport.”

Drumming her fingers on the desk, she continued her line of questioning.  “Did you ever have a valid passport?”

“Of course, I’ve traveled extensively.”

“Oh wonderful, I was hoping that was the case,” she exclaimed excitedly.  “I don’t suppose you remember your passport number?”

“No,” he answered, continuing her game of twenty questions.

“Do you remember what year your most recent passport was issued?”

He nodded.  “It was early in 1987.  There was a problem with my old passport, and it was reissued at that time.”

“Excellent, then technically, it’s still valid,” she replied with a smile, pulling a form from the pile and sliding it across the desk.

“Go down the hall and have your picture taken, for your passport.  While you’re waiting, fill out this form - completely.  Empty blanks mean more questions and wasted time!  When you’re done, come back here and I’ll see that it goes out in today’s mail.”

“Mail?” Lee groaned.

“It’ll be flown stateside, but I’m not going to lie to you, Lee.  It’s going to take some time.  The government moves slowly, but I’ll navigate my way through the red tape as expediently as possible.  If everything on this form is factual and accurate, it will be processed without problems.  If you’re lying to me, I’ll see to it personally, that you’re punished to the fullest extent of the law.”

“How long?” Lee asked in a deflated voice.

“Today’s the 18th.  Probably a week, longer if the information isn’t accurate.  If you’re lucky, we’ll have you home before Easter.”

“When’s Easter?”

“March 31st.”

The days dragged on slowly and then a week had passed.  There was no word from Edith, at the Embassy.  Lee wondered if the paperwork had hit a snag or was lost in the many levels of government bureaucracy.  He’d been out of Baghdad for over a month now and longed for home.  He paced his quarters like a rat in a maze.  There were only so many places he was cleared to go on base and he’d been to them all a dozen times already.

Then it happened in a flash.  There was a knock at his door and Lee opened it.

“Mr. Stetson, there’s a Mrs. Dallyrimple at the gate waiting for you.  You need to pack your belongings,” the Private announced.

Lee quickly grabbed the few possessions he had acquired at the base, stuffed them in a bag and followed the soldier.

The heavyset, older woman was all smiles when Lee saw her.  “Hurry up, Lee.  You’re going to be late.”

“Late for what?” he asked.

“Your flight home.”

Lee’s eyes lit up with delight.  He hugged the woman and kissed her on the cheek.  “Thank you, Edith.  You did what the Army, CIA and Agency couldn’t do.”

“I did my job, Lee.  I might be old, but I know my job, and do it very well.”

During the ride to the airport, Edith gave Lee Stetson his new passport and she went over his travel plans.  “You’re booked on a flight to Zurich.  You’ll have to change planes there, for a flight to London.  From there, you catch another flight to Washington, DC.  It’s a roundabout way to get home and your connections are a little tight, but it was the best I could do, on short notice.”

When they arrived at the airport, Lee hugged Edith tightly.  “I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done, Edith.”

“You’re welcome, Lee, have a safe trip home.  Now, you better hurry or you’re going to miss that flight!”

Lee gave her another kiss on the cheek and rushed into the airport.  In his haste, he never asked her who, if anyone, had been notified that he was flying home.

***

The flight from Riyadh to Zurich, took off as planned, and he easily made his connection in Switzerland.  Unfortunately, the notorious London fog delayed the landing of his flight.   For a while, he wasn’t sure he’d make the last leg of his journey.  Luckily, Lee made it to the next gate just as they made the final boarding announcement.  When he got into his seat, the plane pushed back from the gate and Lee Stetson, was on his final journey home, to Virginia.

Being too excited to sleep, he passed time by reading the magazines in the seat pocket.  They didn’t keep his interest for long and he began to daydream about his wife.  It had been over three years since he’d seen Amanda.  He could picture her in his mind as if it was yesterday: her bright smile, her laugh, the soft touch of her hand in his, the scent of her perfume.  His body was reacting to his thoughts, so Lee decided he had better not allow his mind to wander further down that path.  Instead, he thought about his family.  Would the boys recognize him?  Phillip would be graduating high school this year.  Jamie had probably grown considerably while he was gone.  He couldn’t wait to see them all.

Lee ate the food on the plane when it was served, thinking it was better than he’d remembered airline food had been.  After the dinner trays were cleared and the hot towels were distributed, the stewardess made the announcements that they’d be landing shortly and started handing out customs' declarations.  The woman in front of him had asked the stewardess what time the plane was landing.  Lee strained to hear her reply.

“It should be landing about 5:30 local time,” she answered.

When she handed Lee his customs forms, Lee commented.  “This is my third flight today.  I’ve been in a half dozen times zones this week.  I’m not even sure what day it will be when we land.”

“I know the feeling.  It can be confusing.  My husband never knows when I’ll be home,” she responded.  “It’s Thursday afternoon, the 28th.”

”Thanks!” Lee answered and then he wondered again, if Amanda was going to be waiting for him at the airport.  He had a passport, but no driver’s license, to rent a car or any cash for a cab.

The flight finally landed and the passengers deplaned, following the lines to the crowded Custom’s office.  Listening to the people in line, he remembered that it was the beginning of the busy Easter weekend.  The boys would probably be home from school for Easter break.  It didn’t matter.   Somehow, he and Amanda would find time to spend with each other.  After answering the bored Customs officer’s questions with yes or no answers, Lee’s passport was stamped and he was waved through.  He couldn’t believe it; his pulse quickened, and he hurried from the line.  It had finally happened.  He was back on American soil – the land of the free.  Lee Stetson was home.

Following the monotonous labyrinth of hallways and corridors until it opened up to the baggage claim area, he stopped for a minute.  The place was swarming with people.  His eyes scanned the area, looking for a familiar face.  Did Amanda know he was coming home, or would some flunky from the Agency be picking him up?  He wandered the area, trying not to be bowled over by people carrying overstuffed suitcases or the errant child, running and playing.

Then, he caught a glimpse of her familiar form, talking with someone who had a dog.  He smiled.  It had to be her.  Amanda could strike up a conversation with anyone.  He quickly began walking towards her, but suddenly, she turned and started walking in the other direction.  He picked up his pace and when he got close enough, he called out to her.

“Amanda!  Amanda! Over here,” he waved frantically.

Amanda King stopped and looked around for a few seconds, then continued walking away.

Lee Stetson ran, rudely pushing the people in his path, wondering why she was leaving without him.  “Amanda, wait!  I’m here.”

She stopped again and turned.  Lee quickly closed the distance between them.

“Amanda!” he said, pulling her to him and hugging her, tightly.  “God, I’ve missed you.”

For a few seconds, she was stunned, and then she fought to push him away.  Looking overwhelmed and bewildered, she stared at him before she croaked out, “I don’t know who put you up to this prank, but it’s not funny.  Now, leave me alone or I’ll call security.”

“It’s me, Amanda.  It’s not a prank.  I know I look like hell, but it’s really me,” he said, reaching for her again and looking into her eyes.

“Let go of me,” she struggled, forcing him away.  Her face showed a mixture of anger and pain.  Her unsteady voice, spewed furiously back at him.  “You can tell whoever put you up to this… practical joke that it was really… cruel.”

“No, damn it, Amanda, it’s me.  Lee Stetson, in the flesh, your husband!” he shouted at her.

At those two words, her struggle against him ceased.  Her eyes opened wide and she stepped back to study him:  his face, his eyes; she carefully sized him up from head to toe.  She blinked furiously, as if she was trying to understand what was going on, but she was bewildered.  Suddenly, she swooned and her body went limp.

“Oh shit!” Lee swore, grabbing her, before she hit the floor.

Another man helped him get her to a chair.  A few moments later, she started to come around.  Her eyes flickered open and she mumbled something, softly.

“Amanda, are you all right?” he asked in concern.

“No, I’m hallucinating…” she whispered, as she squinted in disbelief.  “You look like… Lee!”

He grinned.  “You’re not hallucinating, Amanda, you’re seeing fine.  It’s really me.”

“No,” she shook her head, “it can’t be.”

“It is me, Amanda, in the flesh, although I’d rather be in your family room.”

“This isn’t a hoax or a trick…” She rubbed her eyes and that’s when he first noticed the ring on her left hand.

“Amanda, what’s this?” he asked, clutching her hand and studying the small diamond ring on her finger.

“What’s whaaa… Oh my gosh!” she pulled her hand away.

He captured her hand again and brought the ring closer to him.  He inspected it, before he dropped her hand entirely and stood up.  “That’s not the engagement ring I gave you,” he accused irately.

Her mouth opened to speak, but no explanation was forthcoming.

“Where did you get…” he stopped, mid sentence and stepped back.  He winced in pain, as if he’d been stabbed with a knife.

“Lee, I can explain…” she said, standing up and reaching for him.  This time, he pushed her away.

“You don’t have to.  I’m not blind,” he snapped, the anger in his voice quite apparent.  Then shaking his head, he continued.  “You’re not here to pick me up.  You’re here for someone else.”

“Lee, I was here to drop…”

“Don’t… say it, Amanda, please, don’t say another word.” He put up his hands, not wanting her to speak.

“Lee, you don’t understand.  I thought you were dead.”

Lee Stetson was tired; he was angry, and most of all he was hurt.  He’d survived living in hell to come home to a woman who had moved on.  He lashed out at her without thinking or caring.  “Damn it, I’m not an idiot.  I understand just fine.  Too many cold nights, alone, huh?  Did you divorce me while I was gone or are you just sleeping around?”

Amanda stood there, mouth gaping, shocked by his accusations.

“Scarecrow?!” a voice shouted from a distance.

Lee glanced away, glad for the distraction and noticed Francine Desmond hurrying towards them.  “Dead, huh?  How come Francine doesn’t think I’m dead?”

Amanda turned and observed Francine waving to them.  “Lee, I honestly don’t know…” she answered in a whisper, reaching for him again.

“Don’t… touch me,” he snarled at her, seizing her arm tightly, before it could touch him and forcing it away.  He turned, walked over to Francine, and hugged her briefly, before turning back and scowling at Amanda.  Then almost pushing Francine in the opposite direction, he rushed out of the baggage area.

“Scarecrow, what was Amanda doing here?” Francine asked.

“I don’t know and I don’t care.  Get me out of here.”

“Were you two arguing?” Francine asked.

“Francine, can we please get out of this damned place?”

“Yeah, sure…” she mumbled as she tried to keep pace with him.  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“My assignment was need to know, Francine; I’ll report to Billy,” he snapped at her.  “Where’s your car?”

“Over there,” she answered, pointing to her car.

“Let’s go,” he ordered, without looking back.

End Part Twelve
 
 
 
 
 

Heartstrings
 
 

Part Thirteen
 

Once she recovered from the initial shock, Amanda rushed to the parking lot and hurried from the airport.  The traffic was heavy with travelers for the upcoming Easter holiday, but she eventually arrived at the Agency.  She ran up the stairs and into the Georgetown entrance, but was stopped by the receptionist.

“Can I help you?” the young woman asked.

“I want to see Billy Melrose, immediately,” she demanded of the stranger.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No, tell him Amanda King is here.  I want to see him - now!” Amanda insisted.

“I’m sorry; Mr. Melrose doesn’t see anyone without an appointment.  If you’d leave your name and number…”

Amanda leaned towards the woman, menacingly.  “My partner, Lee Stetson, was brought in a few minutes ago, for a debriefing.  Call Billy, right now and tell him I’m here, or I’ll walk into that closet and take the elevator down to the debriefing rooms and find him myself.  Do you understand?”

The woman nodded silently, picked up the phone, and paged him.  Amanda anxiously paced the small reception area; watching the closet door like a hawk, waiting for it to open.  Only it didn’t.  The minutes ticked by and the receptionist smiled weakly at her.

“Page him again!” Amanda demanded.

The receptionist didn’t argue with Amanda.  She again paged Billy.

Finally, the receptionist’s phone rang.  The woman picked up the phone on the first ring.

“IFF… There’s an Amanda King here, insisting on seeing you.  She doesn’t have an appointment, Sir….  Yes, Sir.”  The receptionist hung up the phone, reached into her drawer, and handed Amanda a visitor’s badge.  “He’s in his office; it’s downstairs…”

“I know the way.”  Amanda snatched the badge impatiently, before hurrying to the elevator, pushing the button for it, and stepping inside.

The elevator descended into the bowels of the Agency.  When the doors opened up, she raced down the hall and stormed into the bullpen.  Without knocking, she barged into Billy’s office.  Francine was there.  Lee was not.

“You lied to me, Billy,” she accused harshly.

“Francine,” Billy motioned with his head for her to leave and she swiftly ducked out of the office.  “Amanda, I swear to you, I didn’t.”

“All these years, Billy, you led me to believe he was dead.  How could you?” she raged.  “You should have told me.  I had a need to know.  Damn it, Billy, he was my partner.  I had a right to know!”

Billy held up his hands as if he was trying to surrender.  “Honest, Amanda, I thought Scarecrow was dead.”

“Then how did Francine know to pick him up at the airport?” she shouted and her voice cracked.  Her anger had now turned back to anguish.

“I received a dispatch from a clerk, at the US Embassy, in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, earlier today.  It advised me that Lee Stetson would be arriving on a flight into Dulles from London.  I sincerely thought it was a hoax, until the phone number and address panned out.  There wasn’t time to call you…”

She stared at him, trying to comprehend everything.  “Where is he?  I want to see him.”

“He’s downstairs being examined by the doctor.  It’ll be a while, but you’re welcome to wait.”

“I don’t believe this is happening after all these years!  I should have gone over to Iraq.  I should have demanded to see his body…”

“Amanda, there was nothing you could do.  There was nothing I could do!”

“I could have insisted on seeing his body,” she shouted, furious with herself.

“Amanda, if I had known Lee wasn’t dead, I would have tried to get him out.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  He’s back now.  We can’t make up for the lost time, but you two have the future…”

Amanda sat down and dropped her head into her hands.  She took a deep breath and lifted her head up, shaking it at Billy.  Nervously, she played with the diamond ring on her finger.  “You don’t understand, Billy, I was recently engaged.  When I was leaving the airport this afternoon, I bumped into Lee.  At first, I thought it was a cruel practical joke, but it wasn’t.  He thought I was there to pick him up… until he saw my engagement ring.  He thinks I’ve betrayed him.”

“I see,” Billy nodded, closing his eyes for a moment and letting out a long, slow breath of his own.  “I’m sure, once Lee knows the facts, he’ll understand.”

“I’m not so sure, Billy…”

There was a knock on the door.  “What is it?” Billy shouted heatedly.

Francine stuck her head into the office.  “Billy, Dr. Kelford called up here.  Lee’s refusing a full medical.  They’ve done a cursory exam, pulled blood and took some x-rays, but he wants to be debriefed so he can go home.”

Billy shook his head in frustration and rubbed his brow.  “Assemble a debriefing team and have them meet downstairs.  When Doc’s finished, have someone escort Lee down there.  There’s no way he can go home; he doesn’t have one anymore!”

“Got it,” Francine said and disappeared.

“Sir, can I see him for a few minutes, before the debriefing.  Let me try to explain…”

“Amanda, I sympathize with your predicament, but protocol is clear about these things.  I can’t have you talking with him until afterwards.  Considering he’s been gone for over three years, the CIA is going to want answers.”

“I’d like some answers from the CIA!” Amanda countered angrily.  “Billy, they left Lee in the middle of Iraq to die!  Did they ever make an attempt to extricate him or even try to find him, once they got Mara out?”

Billy shrugged, a distressed look on his face.  “I honestly don’t know.  Maybe not.”

“The CIA should be giving us answers!  I’d like to know by what miracle he survived.”

“You’re right, Amanda, the CIA shares part of the blame.  Are you still working for ATF?”

Amanda nodded.

Letting out a long sigh, he answered.  “I’ll let you sit in on the debriefing.  You can talk to him when it’s over.  It could take a few hours…”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Billy walked over to the door and opened it.  Amanda stood up and followed him out of the office.  They went to Level Three and entered a debriefing room.  The debriefing team was busy setting up.  Amanda took a chair on the end and fidgeted nervously.  It seemed like hours, but within minutes, Lee Stetson came in.

“Oh, no!” he blurted out immediately upon seeing her there.  “What the hell is she doing here, Billy?”

“Lee, settle down.  Amanda was as surprised as the rest of us that you’re still alive.  I’ve invited her to listen in to the debriefing.”

“I don’t want her here.”

“Lee, she was your partner…”

“Last time I checked, it was an agent’s option who is present during a debriefing,” Lee reminded Billy.  Then he continued.  “Mrs. King was a subordinate of mine, with a lower security clearance.  Either of those circumstances should exclude her from these proceedings.”

Amanda stood up, trying to keep her composure as her partner and husband glared at her as if she was the enemy.

“Lee, be reasonable,” Billy said, trying to intervene.

“It’s all right, Sir, I’ll leave,” Amanda whispered, her voice starting to crack again.  She needed to get out of the room.  She hurried from the room, left the Agency swiftly and drove back to her house.

The two dogs greeted her, with wagging tails when she came in the door, but it was little comfort.  She sat on the couch and cried.

****

It was almost midnight when there was a knock on the front door.  Amanda rushed to it and opened it, only to find Billy Melrose standing there.

“Billy,” she said flatly.  “I was hoping it was Lee.”

“I know.  Lee’s confined to the Agency for now.  Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” she nodded and opened the door fully.

“I thought you’d want to know about the debriefing.”

“Did Lee change his mind?” she questioned, a hopeful tone in her voice.

”No, call it inter-agency courtesy.  Besides, I checked your security clearance.  Your clearance is higher than Lee’s was, before that last assignment.”

“I’m on the task force trying to apprehend the Beltway Bomber.  They elevated my security clearance because of that, but I don’t think you should mention it to him.”

“Don’t worry; I won’t mention it to Scarecrow. So, you were named to the task force, a rather distinguished privilege.”

“It will be when we catch the jerk.  Have a seat, Billy.  Can I get you something?”

“No, thank you.”

“How is he?” she asked, sitting on the couch and tucking her feet underneath her.

“Angry mostly.  It’s not entirely unexpected considering he’s been imprisoned for over three years.  He feels like the Agency deserted him.”

“And I’ve betrayed him.”

“You didn’t know he was alive,” Billy reminded her.  “I’d offer my congratulations on your engagement, but given the circumstances…”

Tears filled her eyes.  “I’ve been sitting here for the last couple of hours crying.  Since I left the Agency, I’ve worked hard and kept busy, trying to get over Lee.   One minute, I thought I was finally moving forward, making a new life for myself and, the next minute, I run into Lee at the airport.”

“What were you doing at the airport?”

“Phillip and Jamie are spending the week in London, with Joe.  I dropped them off and then went down to baggage to see who was working.  I haven’t seen Carol or Sasha in ages, but Carol wasn’t working…”

“I guess you haven’t talked to your fiancé yet?”

She took a deep breath.  “No.  I was hoping to talk to Lee first, but I guess that’s not going to happen.”

“Anyone I know?” Billy asked.

“Major Scott Mackey, US Marine Corp.”

“A Marine, he must be a good man.  Does he work at the Pentagon?”

“He’s very special.  He’s stationed at Quantico.  I met him after they sent my dog, Luke, the yellow lab, overseas,” Amanda pointed to the dog sleeping next to her.  “Scott trained me and Monty, the black lab, now sleeping in the corner.”

“You’ve done very well over at the ATF.  I know whenever Sasha is unavailable, my agents always request you, if you’re on duty.”

“So, that explains all my overtime!” Amanda laughed, but the smile was fleeting.  “Billy, what happened, really?  Those pictures you showed me of Lee, years ago, they looked genuine, yet…”

“Doc Kelford took x-rays and they confirmed a fractured skull where the pictures showed the bullet wound.  Best the doc can explain is that the bullet somehow ricocheted; causing a fracture and a concussion, but miraculously, it didn’t kill him or cause permanent brain damage.  A one in a million shot.  He was left for dead, in the desert.  Somehow, he ended up in an Iraqi prison.  We may never know how or why.”

“When was he released?”

“Apparently, he wasn’t.  It’s still unconfirmed, but one of the missiles from the bombing runs in Baghdad, hit the prison.  He escaped and walked half way to Saudi Arabia, with a British national.  From there, he spent some time with a Marine Unit in Southern Iraq.  Eventually, he was transferred to the same Army base he started his mission at, in Riyadh.  Apparently, he was there for almost three weeks before he got a passport and a flight.”

“What took so long?” she inquired.

“Government red tape, compounded by the end of the war, I guess,” Billy shrugged.  “Francine will be trying to verify as much as possible over the next few days.”

“He must have lost twenty pounds,” Amanda commented.  “When I first saw him, I barely recognized him.  His face was so thin.   His cheeks were sunken in, and his coloring is awful.  If it wasn’t for his eyes…”

“And that was after being fed by the Army for three weeks.  Prison life in Iraq is hard.  He’s lucky to have survived.  They’re not meant to.”

“How did he survive?”

“I’d like to think it was his Agency training, but my guess is, his will to live.”

“And he comes home to find I’m engaged to another man.  I never forgot about him, Billy.  He’s always been close to my heart…”

“I know that, Amanda.  Give Lee some time.  He needs to decompress, unwind.  Once he does, the two of you can sit down and talk, rationally.  It’s going to take some time,” he suggested in a fatherly tone.

“I still love him.  Talk to him for me, please.”

“I will.  I’d better get going.  It’s late and we both have to work in the morning.”

Amanda stood up and walked her old supervisor to the door.  “Billy, I’m sorry about what I accused you of, earlier this evening.  I should have known better.  Thanks for coming over.”

“No apology necessary, Amanda.  I’ll talk to you soon.”

Amanda waited until Billy got in his car before she closed the door and locked up.  It was late and she was tired, but she doubted, she’d get any sleep tonight.
 

**** **** ****
 

Agency – Friday night

Lee Stetson was sitting in his assigned room, waiting for clearance to leave the Agency.  It was a comfortable room:  two chairs, a small table, a bed, with a private bathroom.   If it had a window, it could easily been mistaken for a motel room.  Luxurious, compared to where he’d been for the last three years, but he felt trapped just the same.  His life was being returned to him, in pieces, but the process was infuriatingly slow.  He wanted nothing more than to escape the confines of the Agency and the inquisitive eyes of Billy, Doc Kelford, Pfaff and even Francine.

The new wristwatch that Leatherneck had provided for him, earlier in the day, told him it was after nine at night.  The knock at the door surprised him.  Billy Melrose being behind it didn’t.

“Come on in,” Lee said when he opened the door, but his tone was sarcastic, not welcoming.  “Make yourself at home.”

Billy came in and sat down.  “How are you doing?”

“You tell me, Billy?”  Lee snapped at his supervisor.  “Doc Kelford’s drawn vial after vial of blood, pokes, prods, and grunts, but never says a word to me.  Pfaff tries to get into my ‘psyche’ and raises that damn eyebrow of his, before he dismisses me, without a word. So, tell me, am I dying or insane?”

“Neither.  Considering everything, you’re in remarkably good shape,” Billy answered succinctly.  “I know this process is difficult…”

“Like hell you do, Billy.  When have you ever been on this side of the fence?” Lee shouted in frustration, slamming his hand on the table.  “I spent three years in a rat infested, overcrowded, Iraqi prison; almost a month on an Army base in Saudi Arabia, and now I’m here.  Tell me, when do I get my freedom back?  I’ve lost everything else that’s important in life – I want my freedom.”

“You haven’t lost everything,” Billy challenged, in a calm tone.  “Your friends are still here for you, Lee.  You keep pushing them away.”

“I thought I’d come home to a woman who loved and missed me.”

“Amanda still loves you.  She’s called three times today,” glancing at the phone that sat on the table, he continued.  “You could have called her back.”

“Amanda loves Joe King, too,” Lee snapped back at him, remembering the conversation they once shared after the Stemwinder incident…. ‘I love Joe, I’ll always love Joe, but I’m in love with you…’   “She’s moved on, Billy.  She’s engaged to be married.”

“Go talk to her, Lee.  She’s distraught over the whole thing.”

“Sure, Billy, I’ll head over there right now.  Oh wait, I can’t; I’m confined to this damned place!”

“I spoke with Dr. Kelford and Pfaff a little while ago.  Medically, you’re cleared to leave.  We’ve arranged for temporary housing for you, until you find an apartment that’s suitable.  It’s available tomorrow morning.  The motor pool will provide you with a vehicle, until your credit has been restored and your finances are reestablished.”

“So I’m free to leave?”

“Anytime after eight AM, tomorrow morning.”

“Who has been assigned to shadow me?” Lee questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Nobody’s going to tail you, Lee.  Francine verified what she could of your testimony, from the debriefing.  Your friend, Jack Bainbridge, speaks very highly of you.  In fact, he thinks you should be Knighted.  He’s corroborated almost everything that you told us.”

Lee chuckled at that.  “Jack made it home.”

“A few weeks ago.  He was surprised to hear, you were just getting home now.  Lee, I’m sorry it took so long.  I’m sorry for a lot of things, but I can’t change what’s happened.  Pfaff would like you to come in next week for a few sessions.”

“Don’t count on it,” Lee countered.

“That’s what I told him,” Billy answered, his voice steady, but tired.  “Keep an open mind about it.  I know you want out of here, but remember Pfaff is here to help you and so am I.  What are your plans?”

“Plans?” Lee repeated and shrugged, his aloofness cast aside momentarily.  “I don’t have plans yet, Billy.  I’ve survived the last three years, hour by hour, day to day.  My plan was to come home and start a life, with Amanda…”

“Call her or go see her tomorrow, Lee.  She still lives in the same house in Arlington.  I’m sure you remember the way,” Billy urged his agent.

“But things aren’t the same, Billy.  Maybe it was never meant to be,” he answered, turning away.  The sadness, in his voice, spoke volumes.  Lee sat down on the bed and hung his head.

Billy got up and started for the door.  “I’ll be here in the morning, if you need anything…”

Lee nodded his head, but didn’t turn around.  He didn’t want Billy to know, he was crying.

** ** **

In the morning, Lee was up early.  He was given the address and key to his temporary apartment, a one bedroom unit not far from his old apartment.  The motor pool provided him with a newer model, Chevy sedan.  It lacked both the speed and the handling, of his Corvette, but it still provided him with freedom.

Driving around DC for a while, he noticed immediately how much things had changed.  Old, familiar buildings, had been replaced by newer ones, causing Lee to miss a turn more than once.  Stopping at a few of the shops, he once patronized, he bought some clothes and personal items, to enhance what the Agency hadn’t already provided.  His worldly possessions easily fit into the trunk of the car.  Having that chore handled for now, he decided to check out his new apartment.

The building was relatively modern and had seven floors.  The elevator whisked him up to his apartment, on the fifth floor.  He walked down the hallway, to 517 and put the key in the lock.  The furnished apartment was small, but had the basic necessities.  There was no fireplace in his new place, unlike his old apartment.  The window lacked any real view, but it did have southern exposure.  Lee opened the curtains and enjoyed the feeling of the warm sun on his face.

He sat on the sofa and tried to get comfortable as he stared, out the window.  It didn’t take long before his surroundings made him feel out of place and the silence made him lonely.  Glancing around, he noticed there was a stereo.  For a moment, he considered turning it on, but decided against it.  He’d spent enough time inside the last few years.  Lee Stetson didn’t know where he was going to go, but he was going out.

In a matter of moments, Lee was crossing the Potomac into Arlington, Virginia.  The car seemed to know the way, even though it had never been to Maplewood Drive before.  The neighborhood hadn’t changed much, while he’d been gone.  He drove past her house, slowly at first, but didn’t stop.  Her Jeep Wagoneer was in the driveway.

On his second pass of the house, he had almost talked himself into stopping to see her, when he noticed her car back out of the driveway.  He pulled over momentarily, and ducked down as she drove right past him, never noticing him at all.

Lee Stetson didn’t hesitate.  He turned the car around and began to follow Amanda King.  His gut told him not to do it, but he ignored the warning.  In a few minutes time, they were on I-95, driving south.  Lee was perplexed as to where she was going on a Saturday morning.  She turned off the highway, south of Woodbridge, Virginia and started driving the back roads.

“Where the hell are you going, Amanda?” Lee questioned anxiously.  His gut warned him again to break off his pursuit, but his curiosity vetoed the idea.

When Amanda pulled into a neighborhood of older houses, Lee pulled the car to the curb, several houses back, worried she might see him.  She parked her car in a driveway about halfway down the street.  Inching his car closer, he wanted to observe who she was going to visit, yet stay out of Amanda’s view.  He watched as she rang the doorbell and waited impatiently for someone to answer.  The door flew open wide and a tall, well-built man, with short-cropped hair stepped out onto the porch.  He lifted her off her feet and pulled her close, kissing her passionately.

“Damn you, Amanda…” Lee winced as he watched his wife kiss the other man.  He turned away and when he glanced back up, the couple had disappeared into the house.

Having already seen more than he wanted to, Lee put the car into drive and quickly sped down the street and back towards the highway.  He pulled off into a gas station, near the interstate to recover.  If he hadn’t been so upset, he might have noticed that only a few minutes later, Amanda King sped by, in her car – and she was crying.
 

*** ****

The next few days, Lee Stetson drove all over the state of Virginia, from the Blue Ridge Mountains down to Virginia Beach.  It didn’t matter where he went or what he did; his soul was aching.  Neither the vast views from the mountains, nor the soothing sound of the ocean helped.  It was Thursday afternoon when he returned to DC.

Arriving at his new apartment, he was surprised to find five messages on his answering machine.  He wasn’t even sure what his phone number was.  Clicking on the play button, he listened while each message played.  There were three from Billy Melrose, concerned about his whereabouts and how he was doing; one from Francine, inviting him to dinner and one from Dr. Pfaff’s secretary, urging him to stop in.  He was more than a little hurt, that none of the messages, were from Amanda.

Erasing them from the machine, he poured himself a Scotch, gulping it down swiftly and puttered around his apartment for a while.  He turned on the television, but quickly lost interest.  Then he thumbed through the collection of music that was available, but nothing suited his mood.  Finally, he picked up the phone and returned Billy Melrose’s call.

“Billy, it’s Lee.”

“I was starting to get worried about you.  Is everything all right?”

“Just fine,” Lee answered vaguely, staring out the window of his apartment.

“Where did you disappear to?” Billy inquired.

“I wanted to get out and enjoy life for a few days, Billy.  I didn’t need clearance from you for that, did I?” Lee Stetson questioned irritably.  He was sure if Billy really wanted to know, he could easily trace him through his new credit cards.

“No, of course not,” Billy quickly offered.

“Was there anything specific that you needed, or are you just checking up on me?”

“Can you come into the office?  There are a few things you need to pick up.”

Less than excited about the idea, but wanting to get it over with, Lee agreed.  “Yeah, sure, when do you want me to come in?”

“I have a meeting tomorrow morning at the Pentagon; so, this afternoon would be better for me.”

“I’ll be there in a while,” Lee answered, hanging up the phone.  What did he care?  In all actuality, he didn’t have a life.  An hour later, Lee Stetson walked into the hectic bullpen and knocked on Billy’s door.

“Come in,” he shouted through the closed door.  “Lee!  Thanks for coming in.”

Still feeling somewhat out of place in his own life, Lee shoved his hands in his pockets.  “So, what did you need me to pick up?”

“Have a seat, Lee,” Billy nodded.

“I’m really not in the mood for a chat or a lecture,” Lee remarked, standing firm, in front of his desk.

Billy grabbed a stack of messages and handed them to Lee.  “I wouldn’t lecture you, if you followed instructions.  I thought I told you to go see Amanda?”

“I did!” he shrugged.

“No you didn’t!” Billy retorted.  “If you had, she wouldn’t be calling here every day, at least twice a day.”

“I drove by her house…”

“But you didn’t go in, did you?”

“She was on her way out…”

“Did you try going back to see her later?”

“No.  I didn’t see the point.”

“Lee, Amanda obviously still cares for you or she wouldn’t be calling here, every day.”

“Billy, she has her new life, with… Mr. Wonderful.  They’re obviously very much in love…”

“Let me guess; you followed her?”  Billy glanced up at him, annoyed.  Lee didn’t answer.  “Please, tell me you didn’t?”

“Yeah, I did,” he admitted, anger starting to take hold.  “She drove straight to his place on Saturday, right into the arms of her fiancé.”

“Lee, you shouldn’t have followed her.”

“But I did,” he replied, crumbling the messages together and tossing them into the garbage can.  “Forget the lecture, Billy, I’m not going to call her, or go visit her.  It’s too painful.  I really loved her.  Damn it, I still love her.”

“You’re making a big mistake.  At the very least, you two need some sort of closure.”

“Was there anything else?” Lee snapped.

Billy opened up his desk drawer and pulled out a large envelope.  “She dropped these off for you yesterday.”

“What’s that?”

“The keys to your Corvette,” Billy answered, tossing the envelope across his desk to him.

Lee’s eyes lit up and he smiled brightly.  “She still had my ‘Vette?”

“Apparently.  She thought you’d want it back.  The title is in there; signed back over to you.  The maintenance records are up to date.  It’s parked in the underground garage.”

Lee pulled the keys out of the envelope and held them tightly in his grasp.  Finally, he had something tangible from his previous life.  “Thanks, Billy.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Amanda.  My guess is the car’s probably in the same shape it was in, before you left.  She mentioned, she only took it to ‘your’ mechanic, whatever that means.”

“Was that all?” Lee asked, tossing his keys up in the air, wanting to go out and give his car a test ride.

“What are your plans, Scarecrow?  Are you going to take more time off?  Are you considering coming back to the Agency or do you plan to look elsewhere for work?”

“I wasn’t sure what my status was,” Lee answered honestly.

“At the moment, I have you on extended leave.  If you want more time off, I don’t have a problem with that.  God knows you could probably use time to get reacquainted with life, but I’d like to have an idea of when, or if, you plan to return.”

“I don’t want the Q Bureau,” Lee answered immediately.  He knew he couldn’t work there ever again, not without Amanda.  “And I don’t want to be shipped overseas anytime soon, either.”

“I’m sure we can find some cases that will suit you; when you’re ready.”

“I’ll see you Monday?”

“Are you sure you’re not rushing things a little?” Billy questioned.

Lee shrugged, “What else do I have to do?”

“Roll call’s at nine,” Billy answered.

Lee nodded to Billy and then quickly left his office.  He was looking forward to taking a ride…

End Part Thirteen
 
 
 
 
 

Heartstrings...
 

Part Fourteen
 
 

April, 1991

The following week, Lee Stetson returned to work.  The transition back to the field, without Amanda, was more difficult than he’d originally thought.  Through the grapevine, he learned that Amanda now worked for the ATF.  He didn’t inquire what she was doing there, although secretly, he was curious.  Mostly, he was glad they wouldn’t run into each other at the Agency.

The first few days in the field, he attempted to make contact with the members of his ‘Barnstorm List’.  Some of them were still in town and were delighted, but shocked to see him.  Several had moved away, a few couldn’t be located, and one had died.  Lee knew it would take time to get reestablished in DC’s world of espionage and he planned to take it gradually.

Having his Corvette again, made him feel slightly more connected to his old self.  Amanda had saved some of his personal belongings, being thoughtful enough to box them up; she’d left them in the trunk of his car.  There wasn’t much he truly treasured, but he did appreciate the family photographs of his mother and father.  He was thankful she’d saved his father’s pipe and his mother’s diary that he’d found in their basement hideaway.

Recovering those parts of his past were joyous, yet heartrending; it made him feel alone, all over again.  Spending the evening's lonesome in his apartment was too much for him.  Often, he found himself wandering to the bars around the office, having a drink or two and sometimes more.  Coming home, he’d glance at the few pictures Amanda had returned to him.  While she hadn’t included any of their wedding pictures, she did include a picture he’d had of Phillip, Jamie and Dotty.  He wondered how they were doing.  On the numerous trips he’d made past the house, he would often see her car, but never saw them.  To date, he hadn’t summoned the courage to stop.

On a warm Saturday afternoon in mid-April, Lee was driving down Amanda’s street yet again, when he spotted Phillip and Jamie in the front yard.  Not sure that he could drive past the house without the boys noticing his silver Corvette, Lee pulled the car to the curb.

‘I’ll stop, say hello to the boys and thank Amanda for returning my car and stuff,’ Lee said to himself before he opened his car door and got out.  ‘It’s the right thing to do and it’ll get Billy off my back…’

“Lee!” Phillip shouted excitedly, turning off the lawn mower and racing over to the car.  “We thought you forgot about us!  We’ve been wondering about you.  How are you?”

Lee got a warm feeling inside.  He hugged his eldest stepson.  The next thing he knew, Jamie was running over to see him as well and joined in the hug.

“It’s good to see you both!  Will you look at the two of you?” Lee exclaimed on the size of his two stepsons.  “You’ve both grown up.”

“How are you, Lee?” Jamie asked, his voice no longer that of a child’s.

“I’m OK,” he replied, keeping an arm on each of his stepsons' shoulders.

“We missed you.  We thought that you were dead,” Phillip commented.

“Yeah, I heard,” he answered with a heavy heart.  “The government screwed up big time.  I’ve been in Iraq…”

“Mom told us the basics.  She said the rest was classified information.”

“Yeah, it is. So, how are you?”

“Good,” Phillip answered.  “I graduate the end of May.  I’m going to George Mason University in the fall.”

“Hey, that’s great.”

“Maybe you can make it to my graduation?” Phillip suggested.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

“I’m hoping to go to UVA when I graduate,” Jamie piped in.  “Mom went there.”

“I remember.  Where is your mom?” Lee asked.

“In the backyard, working on the garden,” Phillip answered.  “Since Grandma got married last year, the weeds took over.”

“I, uh, think I’ll go talk to her.”

“We better get back to the lawn.  Catch ya later, Lee,” Phillip nodded and he returned to the lawnmower.

Lee walked around the house to see Amanda struggling to pull up a large root that had invaded the garden.  Before he could offer to help, the root broke off, sending Amanda flying into the dirt, on her backside.

“Damn!” she swore, wiping the dirt that had flown into her face.  A shadow blocked the sun from her face and she turned to see who it was.

“Are you all right?” he asked with concern.

“Lee!” she gasped, glancing up at her husband.  “Nothing bruised, but my ego.”

“Need some help up?” he asked, reaching out a hand.

“Thanks.”  Wiping the dirt from her gardening gloves, she allowed him to help her off the ground.  “I’ve been weeding.”

“Yeah, the boys told me.  They’ve grown like weeds, themselves.  I bet Phillip’s taller than you.”

“He’s taller by an inch, and he’s not done growing yet.  Would you like to sit down?” Amanda tried to tidy herself up while they wandered over to the gazebo where the two dogs were resting, in the cool shade.  “Have a seat.”

“Who do we have here?” Lee inquired as he petted each dog.

“The yellow lab is Luke; the black lab is Monty.” Each dog’s ears perked up as their name was mentioned.  Lee petted Luke and Amanda scratched Monty, behind his ear.

“Nice dogs.  Labs are great animals, but with an apartment…”

“They need a big yard so they can run.  Even this yard is too small.  We usually go to the park on Saturday…”

“Yeah, they’d go stir crazy in my apartment,” Lee conceded, feeling awkward with the small talk.

“I’m glad you stopped by.  I’ve been worried about you,” Amanda smiled over at him.

“I’m all right.  I came over to thank you for taking such good care of my ‘Vette and the pictures…”

“You’re welcome.  I thought it might make you feel more at home.”

“Yeah, it did,” he answered, the smile returned to his face for a moment. The pain from everything he’d been through was momentarily forgotten. “The ‘Vette is running great.  They gave me a loaner at first.  It was a newer car, but it didn’t have the power of the Corvette.”

“I tried calling you at the Agency, to tell you I still had it.  I left several messages there...”

“I’ve been busy,” he lied, hiding his true feelings from the woman he still loved.

“Are you back to work already?” she asked with surprise.

“Yeah, I’m trying to catch up on everything.  I’ve pieced together some of my old contacts from the Barnstorm list.  I hear you’re working for the ATF.”

“For over two years now…”

“I’m glad you left,” he cut in, and then he noticed the hurt look on her face.  “What I mean is, the Agency is no place for a woman with kids.”

“I certainly don’t miss being shot at,” she agreed before placing her hand on his jeans.  “Lee, how are you, really?”

“I’m doing… OK,” he answered guardedly, unwilling to share his true emotions with her.  “A lot’s happened.”

“I know…” she answered sympathetically.

“No, you don’t,” he snapped, suddenly annoyed.  “You don’t know the half of what’s happened to me in the last three years.”

“You’re right.  I don’t,” she admitted guiltily, “but that was your choice.  Billy gave me permission to sit in on your debriefing, but you asked; no, you ordered me to leave.”

Running his hand through his hair in frustration, he lashed out at her.  “Damn it, Amanda, I felt like a fool.  I never expected to come back and find you engaged to another man.  We are married; we took vows…”

“I remember, Lee!  I said ‘until death do us part’, but I was told you were dead.   You’ve been gone for over three years.  I saw pictures of you…” she shuddered at the vile memory, “on a slab, with a bullet wound to your forehead.”

“Pictures can easily be faked,” he countered.  “Did you bury a body?”

“No,” she whispered, swallowing hard.

“Didn’t that throw up a red flag?” he shouted.  “Or was it easier to move on?”

Amanda stared at him in disbelief and countered heatedly.  “Of course not.  That’s far from the truth!”

“Is it?  Or is it closer to the truth than you’d like to admit?  Now that I’m back, I’ve thrown a little wrench in your plans.  You’ll have to file for divorce before you can tie the knot for what, the third time?”

Tears started to run down Amanda’s cheeks.  Her voice ragged; she whispered harshly.  “You’re so far from the truth, it hurts, but instead of trying to work things out with me, all you’ve done is yell and blame me.  I know you’re angry, but...”

“Oh, no you don’t, Amanda.  Don’t pin this on me.  None of this is my fault!” Lee argued furiously, standing up and walking to the edge of the gazebo.

“No, I didn’t say it was,” she choked out in a whisper.  “I’d just like you to look at life from my view, for a moment.  My life hasn’t been a picnic the last three years, either.  I’ve had my share of disappointments and heartaches.”

“Oh, yeah, I can see that.  Weeds invaded your garden; the house needs a new coat of paint.  Your life was definitely worse than mine was over the past three years...”

“No, Lee, I wouldn’t even insinuate that.  All I’m trying to do is to get you to realize you’re not the only one in pain here.  I never stopped loving you…”

“You have a damn funny way of showing it…”

“Look in the mirror, Lee Stetson.  You’re making assumptions and accusing your own wife without even searching for the truth.  Maybe you should learn all the facts, before you condemn me.  I guess it’s easier to blame all your current problems on me, than to work through them, one by one.”

“You’re right.  Maybe I should take care of my biggest problem first, Amanda.  I’ll get in touch with a divorce lawyer and get things started.”  Then, without another word, Lee Stetson stalked off, hurt and angry and not knowing that underneath Amanda’s gloved hand, there was no engagement ring…
 

***

Late April

Scarecrow was leaning on a limo, outside the ‘Hotel Imperial’ in Washington DC.  He was waiting for the bomb squad to show up, to remove, what he suspected to be a bomb, inside the building.  Working with him today was a sharp, but younger agent, Irwin Dashley.  Dash, as he was frequently called, was thought of, as a rising star, by Dr. Smyth, and had worked at the Agency for a few years, but only recently in the DC office.

“What the hell’s taking them so long?” Lee groused impatiently.  “Call them again.  It’s been an hour.”

“Calm down, Scarecrow.  The bomb squad’s busy.  The Beltway Bomber has been quiet the last few weeks, but they’ve got a half dozen calls around town today,” Agent Dashley replied.

Clearly frustrated by the delay, Lee began to pace in front of the limos.  “Dash, we’ve got five senators, four congressmen and two supreme court justices waiting in limos.”

“They’ll have to wait.  Beats getting blown to bits.”

A few minutes later, he spotted a familiar figure, heading towards him with a dog.  At first, he stared; then, his mouth dropped open in disbelief.  Finally, he forced out words.  “What the hell is she doing here?”

“You know Amanda King?” Dash asked.

“Yeah,” Lee nodded, “Why’s she here?”

“I guess Sasha is working another call.  Amanda often takes calls from the Agency when Sasha’s busy – you know inter-agency cooperation.  Apparently, she used to work for us.”

“Yeah, I remember.”  Lee stood there, stunned when he realized what Amanda’s new job entailed.  Neither she, nor Billy, had mentioned, she was a dog handler, responsible for detecting bombs.

“Who’s in charge here?” Amanda called out as she walked towards the two men.  With the setting sun in her eyes, she hadn’t realized, one of them was Lee Stetson.

“I am,” Lee and Dash answered at the same time.  Lee gave Dash a furious glare.

“He is,” Dash answered, pointing to Lee.

Shading her eyes from the sun, she recognized who was standing a few feet in front of her.  With an even voice, she asked.  “Mr. Stetson, how can I help?”

“We’re actually waiting for the bomb squad.  There’s a bomb downstairs, in the laundry room.”

“The bomb squad is tied up across town, with another situation.  If Monty determines this one’s live, you’ll be their next stop,” Amanda explained.

“I think I know a bomb when I see one, Mrs. King,” Lee replied testily.

“Nevertheless, I’m here instead.  There have been a lot of copycat bombs around town since the Beltway Bomber started.  Most of them look real, but aren’t.   Where is the laundry room?” she pressed.

Lee pulled the layout of the building, from his pocket and unfolded it.  Placing it on the hood of the limo, he showed her where to go.

“Come on, Monty,” Amanda said, tugging gently on his harness.  “Time to go to work.”

Lee watched as Amanda disappeared into the building, his stomach tensed up and he resumed his pacing in front of the limo.  “I should have defused it myself.”

“And blown us all to bits, Scarecrow?  No thanks,” Dash replied, rolling his eyes.  “Amanda knows her job.  Give her a chance.”

“Hmmph,” Lee grunted at the other man.  Yet, his intense gaze on the door, never wavered, until the dog led her back out of the hotel, towards them.  Silently, he let out a long, slow breath, relieved that she was unhurt.

“You’re all clear,” she called to them.

Lee was skeptical at best.  “Are you sure?”

Amanda nodded.  “Monty’s sure.  It looks like the real thing, but it’s not live.  I’ll bet my paycheck it’s one of the copycats.  I’ve called the forensic team already.  Someone will be by later today to pick it up.  Make sure nobody touches it; maybe we’ll get lucky with some fingerprints.”

“Thanks, Amanda!” Dash said.

Lee ignored Amanda and nodded to Dash. “Come on, Dash, we better get these people inside.  They’ve already waited over an hour.”

Amanda walked back to her car, but Lee Stetson watched her surreptitiously over his shoulder, every step, until she got back into her car and drove away…
 

*** ***

Early May 1991

The following week was tense in and around Washington’s Beltway.  Two bombs had gone off, injuring several people; a third bomb was safely defused before it could explode, but there were prank calls and copycats all over town.  All the government agencies were stretched thin and on edge.

Lee Stetson arrived at the Gemini Club in Arlington, Virginia, later than he’d wanted.  He was working with Dash again and although the kid was smart, he didn’t always demonstrate the best attention to detail.  Scarecrow wanted to make sure all the specifics had been attended to properly, before the arrival of the guest of honor.

Tonight, he was babysitting the heir to the throne of Baldovia.  The playboy prince was celebrating his 21st birthday.   Prince Gustaf was homely and spoiled, but his money and title attracted quite a crowd of eligible females interested in the lavish life he could provide.  The Gemini Club was the hotspot in town at the moment; often attracting sports stars or celebrities and the entourage that entailed.  Lee Stetson was not looking forward to the night, in the least.

Inside the club, the glitzy birthday decorations were already hanging from the walls.  The tables were set and the ballroom was festive, if not overdone.  Lee watched, while dozens of balloons were being inflated for the Prince’s party.  In the corner of the room, near the bandstand, something caught his eye and he went over to inspect it.  Lee scrutinized the metal cylinder, which stood at over two feet high and about six inches wide.

“Dash, what’s this?” Lee asked the other agent.

“The band dropped off their stuff about an hour ago. There are three cylinders.  I think it’s something for their performance tonight – they use pyrotechnics.”

“Pyrotechnics?  Three of them?” Lee repeated, shaking his head, a skeptical look on his face.  “This one’s not stamped.”

“It’s the band’s stuff.  They put on an awesome show.  I saw them last month at the Capital Center.  They had the place rocking; the fireworks shoot up out of these things, in time with the music.  It’s gonna be awesome!”

“Dash, you’re responsible for site security, not me.  This is not a free rock concert.  These need to be inspected,” Scarecrow snapped, clearly annoyed at the glaring oversight, on the younger agent’s part.

“You’re overreacting, Scarecrow.  I'm telling you, it’s the band’s stuff.”

“First of all, everything that comes in here tonight is supposed to be inspected or stamped.  It doesn’t matter if it’s the band’s equipment, the flower arrangements, or a light bulb for the chandelier, everything!  Secondly, I was not briefed on any pyrotechnic show,” Scarecrow insisted, furious that the young agent hadn’t taken action sooner.  “Where are the other two?”

“There’s one on each side of the stage, and the other is near the speaker up front, by the door.”

Lee checked each one of them; none of them bore a stamp that they’d been inspected.  “Damn it, Dash!  You’ve gotten caught up in the hype.  A lot of people are counting on you.  Three identical cylinders - three of them – didn’t that ring a bell for you?  There’s going to be two hundred people here in less than an hour!”

“Shit, you’re right!  That’s the Beltway Bandit’s MO - three bombs!”  Pulling out his cell phone, he reassured Scarecrow.  “I’ll have Sasha over here in thirty minutes.”

“Make it ten!  I’ll get this place evacuated,” Lee ordered as he hurried towards the other workers.

It took Lee almost twenty minutes to get everyone out of the building.  Lee caught up with Dash who was talking with the Club’s manager.  Pulling the younger agent aside, he asked, “Where’s Sasha?”

Dash glanced at his watch, nervously.  “Sasha’s up in Bethesda.  The Naval Hospital received a suspicious package about an hour ago.”

“Great, just great,” Lee grumbled.  “Guests will be arriving soon; you’re going to have to stall them.”

Dash nodded towards the parking lot.  “Maybe we won’t.  Amanda King's here, with Monty.”

Lee watched edgily, while Amanda walked towards where they were standing, near the building’s entrance.

“Mr. Stetson, what’s the situation?” she asked coolly.

“Amanda, we have three cylinders inside that haven’t been inspected.  They’re in the large ballroom on the left.  There’s one on each side of the bandstand.  The third one is near a speaker, by the door.  When you walk in the main door, it’ll be on the left.”

“What do they look like?” she asked.

“They’re the only things in the whole room that aren’t decorated for a birthday party.  All three are plain, metal cylinders about two feet high, and six inches wide.  There’s no inspection stamp on any of them,” he started to explain.  “They might be part of the band's act, but…”

“There are three of them,” she nodded, understanding what he was telling her.  “You’ve caught up on your homework, I see.  Come on, Monty, let’s get busy.”

Lee reached for her, laying a hand on her shoulder before she went into the building.  In a voice just above a whisper, he said, “Amanda, be careful, OK?”

She gave him a warm smile.  “We always are…”

Amanda disappeared into the building and Lee nervously paced the double doors in the front.  His gut was telling him this was no hoax, but was he overreacting?  Lee stared at the doors and waited for her to come back out.  He glanced at his watch; time seemed to be ticking slower than usual.

Then a couple of cars pulled into the parking lot, and an eclectic group of musicians piled out.  They were joking and laughing.

“Scarecrow, the band’s here,” Dash pointed.  “Maybe they can account for the cylinders in question…”

Lee turned and he and Dash started to walk up to the band members.  They never got the chance to speak with them.  Before they’d crossed the parking lot, an explosion burst through the glass front doors, shattering them and showering the walkway with glass, dust and debris.

“Amanda!” Lee yelled out as he raced towards the building…

End Part Fourteen
 
 
 
 
 
 

Heartstrings...
 

Part Fifteen
 

Lee Stetson forced his way through the rubble in an attempt to rescue his wife from the wreckage.  In the background, he could hear the sirens from the emergency vehicles coming closer.  The balloons, for the party, were now bursting every few seconds from the heat of the fire. The possibility that additional bombs could go off was present in his mind and he winced, each time he heard another balloon explode.  Yet, he went deeper into the dark and smoky building.

“Amanda?” Lee shouted, straining to hear a reply, but there were too many other sounds in the building.  Ceiling fixtures and wires continued to fall around him and the fire crackled, continuing its raging consumption of the ballroom.  The smoke was thick and acrid; visibility in the club was minimal, but he pushed through the tangled debris.

Staying low, he observed some movement near the ballroom door; he climbed over what appeared to have been ceiling panels and air conditioning ducts.  There was something moving underneath them.  Was it Amanda?

“Amanda?” he choked out, pulling the ceiling tiles and other fragments from the area.  It wasn’t his wife underneath it, but Monty, Amanda’s dog.  When the dog shook, dust, insulation, and rubble flew into the air.  A cursory inspection of the dog showed no major injuries, other than being filthy and a few minor cuts.  “You’re all right, fella.  Where’s Amanda?  Is she close by?”

Monty was a smart dog; he ducked his head back into the rubble and started pawing at it, frantically.  Lee started digging through the wreckage too, flinging pieces of it aside, until he saw her arm.

“Good boy, Monty,” Lee encouraged, as he struggled to lift the heavier pieces, now coughing from the smoke.

Finally, two firemen entered the building, wearing full gear.

“Over here,” Lee choked out, while flames started climbing the walls near them.  “There’s a woman trapped underneath this rubble.”

They hurried over and the three of them worked to extricate the heavier pieces off her body.  Then, one of the firefighters reached down for her pulse.

“She’s alive,” the fireman announced.   With little time before the room would be totally engulfed in the fire, he bent down and carefully lifted her battered body off the floor.  The fireman trudged through the wreckage, carrying her out of the smoke filled building, to a waiting ambulance.  Lee and Monty were right behind them and barely escaped the building when the second bomb exploded moments before the third one detonated.

***

Several hours later, Lee sat in Amanda’s hospital room, while she slept.  Her injuries, although extensive, were not life threatening.  Lee had phoned her sons and expected them to arrive at the hospital any minute.

“Monty,” Amanda mumbled in her semiconscious state.

“He’s safe, Amanda.  Ron Holt took him back to the kennel,” Lee reassured her, caressing her hand in the hopes he could allay her fears.

She settled down soon after hearing that; her eyes never opening.  Lee sat with her.  His hand resting on her arm, watching the drip of the I.V. hydrate her body.

“I’m sorry, Amanda, I shouldn’t have let you go into the building.  My gut told me they were bombs from the moment I saw them.  We called for Sasha.  I didn’t expect you’d come.  I thought you left the Agency for something safer, but you didn’t, did you?  You’re still trying to make a difference in the world.  You are, you know,” he whispered to her.

Phillip and Jamie King came into the room shortly after that.  “Oh my gosh!” They chorused, concerned by their mother’s battered appearance.

“She’s going to be all right,” Lee reassured them immediately, standing up and hugging them both.  “It looks a lot worse than it is.  Mostly cuts and bruises, a few stitches and a concussion.”

“What happened?” Phillip asked, staring at his mom.

“Your Mom and Monty were inspecting a suspicious device.  I’m not sure if they realized it was a bomb or not, but they were still in the building when it exploded.”

“The Beltway Bomber?” Jamie guessed.

“Looks like it.  Sit with her,” Lee encouraged, pulling out the chair.  “She’s woken up a couple of times, but she’s somewhat dazed.  Talk to her; tell her you’re here.”

“Is she in pain?” Jamie worried as he sat down near the bed, a frightened look on his face.

“Unfortunately,” Lee nodded.   “She’s going to be sore for a few days and will probably have a whopper of a headache, but your mom’s a pretty tough lady.  She’ll get through it.  You two will pitch in around the house; won’t you?”

“You bet,” they answered.  Then Phillip surveyed him.  “Are you all right?”

Lee looked at his clothes, ragged and covered in soot.  “Yeah, just a few scrapes.  The nurses cleaned me up downstairs and gave me a tetanus shot.  I haven’t had time to take a shower or change yet.”

“Lee, what happened to Monty?  He’s not…” Jamie, his face pale, couldn’t finish his thought.

“He’s all right.  Ron Holt, from the ATF, picked him up and took him to the vet.  I spoke to him a few minutes ago on the phone.  Monty’s resting at the kennel; doing fine.  He’s a hero; he helped me find your mom.”

“That makes you a hero, too,” Phillip suggested.

“I was just doing my job.”

“Three visitors, somebody needs to leave!  This is a hospital, not a party!” the nurse commented crossly when she came into the room, interrupting the conversation.  “Only two visitors allowed at a time.”

“Her sons just got here,” Lee countered.

“Rules are rules,” the nurse answered, standing firm.

“I’ll go,” Lee replied dejectedly; he jotted something down on a card and handed it to Phillip.  “If you guys or your mom needs anything; call me, OK?”

“Thanks, Lee, take care of yourself.”

“I will.”  Lee wandered down the hallway and stared out the window near the elevator.  The realization that he and Amanda were lucky today, overwhelmed him.  Monty must have identified that the cylinder was a bomb and Amanda had been attempting to leave, when it went off.

How could he have let her go into that building, knowing what he did?  Had she been closer to any of the bombs, she would probably be dead.  Some hero he turned out to be; he was the indirect cause of her injuries.

A gentle hand on his shoulder broke him out of his reverie.  “Lee Stetson?”

“Dotty!” he replied, turning his attention to his mother-in-law; he gave her a hug.  “I’m sorry, my mind is elsewhere.”

“I can see that.  We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

“I’ll second that,” he nodded, remembering years ago, sitting in a California hospital and wondering if his wife would live or die.

“Where’s Amanda?  Is she all right?” she worried.

“She’s in her room, sleeping.  She’s going to be fine in a few days.”

“Are you all right?” Dotty questioned, looking at his tattered, smudged appearance.  “And why aren’t you with her?”

“I’m… OK.  I haven’t had a chance to go home and shower.  The boys arrived a few minutes ago and the hospital only allows two visitors at a time.  The nurse told one of us to leave.  I thought she’d rather see them when she wakes up, than me.”

“Still have that chip on your shoulder, I see,” Dotty commented in an annoyed voice.

“What?” Lee asked, surprised by her attitude.

Reaching for Lee’s hand, she tugged on it, firmly.  Dotty led Lee to the empty waiting area and sat down.  He took the chair next to her.  “I think it’s time we had a candid discussion, don’t you?”

“About what?”

“You’re still in love with my daughter, aren’t you?” she asked him bluntly.

Lee turned away, and didn’t answer.

“You are two of the most stubborn people, I’ve ever met,” Dotty railed.  “For the last three years, Amanda’s pined over you, pledging her undying love for you.  I tried to set her up on dates, but she refused to go.  Nobody could ever replace you in her heart.  She’d rather spend time grooming her dogs or taking them to the park.  That was her social life.”

“Apparently, that spell wore off.”

“You mean Scott?   He’s a very nice man and they’re close friends, but Amanda’s not in love with him.  Do you know how they met?”

“It’s none of my business.”

“But you want to know, don’t you?” Dotty pressed.

He nodded silently.  In a perverse way, he wanted to know every little detail about the man who had replaced him in Amanda’s heart.

“Luke, Amanda’s first dog, was shipped to Saudi Arabia, before the war started.  Amanda was sent to Quantico Marine Base, to train another dog.  Major Scott Mackey was the trainer.”

“I see…”

“No you don’t!” Dotty snapped, furrowing her brow.  “It wasn’t a fairy tale relationship; far from it.  She used to call me on the phone and gripe about ‘Major Maniac’.  She couldn’t stand him.  It wasn’t until after the class was over, that they started dating each other.  Amanda needed to qualify at the shooting range and apparently she’s not very handy with a gun.”

Lee chuckled, remembering how much Amanda hated guns.  “No, she wasn’t.”

“If she hadn’t qualified when she did, she could have lost her job.  Scott coached her and helped her pass.  I can’t speak for her, but I think she felt more obligated to him, than in love with him…”

“But she agreed to marry him,” Lee reminded her.

“Part of that was my fault, I’m afraid,” Dotty sighed, a look of regret on her face.  “I guess she took my advice, too literally.  I told her not to make the same mistake with Scott, as she had with you.”

“Excuse me?” Lee questioned his eyes now wide and staring at Dotty.

“Don’t give me that look, Lee Stetson; you know exactly what I mean!” Dotty scolded.  “You two dragged your feet at every step of your relationship.  I told her to seize life, before it passed her by.  When Scott was sent over to Saudi Arabia during the war, Amanda was beside herself; afraid something terrible would happen to him or worse, that he wouldn’t come back either.  When he returned in early March, he brought back an injured Luke.  Luckily, Scott was unhurt.”

“Yeah, that was real lucky for me,” Lee grumbled.

Dotty shot him an annoyed glare and continued.  “Amanda was obviously, very relieved he came home safe.  Later that week, Scott invited her to dinner.  That’s when he asked her to marry him.  Funny thing though, she didn’t answer him right away; it was almost a week later that she said yes.  They were engaged the week after St. Patrick’s Day.”

“Our relationship was always plagued by bad timing,” Lee replied in defeat, realizing that he came home only a few weeks too late.  “Dotty, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s engaged to him.”

“I thought spies were supposed to be observant.  There’s no longer an engagement ring on her finger,” Dotty rebutted with a raised eyebrow.

“I assumed she didn’t wear it… Wait a second.  You know we are…Amanda told you we were spies?”

”No, she didn’t have to.  I’ve known the truth for a long while,” Dotty admitted, rolling her eyes.  “If you weren’t so busy feeling sorry for yourself, you would have found out that Amanda broke off her engagement to Scott the Saturday after you returned.”

Lee stared at Dotty.  His eyes were wide as saucers when he realized that was the day, he followed her to Scott’s house. “She, um, never said anything to me…”

“Did you ever give her the chance?  From what she tells me, you wouldn’t return her phone calls.  The few times you’ve met, did you ever really talk?” she asked with a piercing glare.  Lee didn’t reply, so she continued.  “Lee, she nurtured the love you shared for three very long, lonely years.  I can’t imagine what you went through over in Iraq, and I don’t mean to diminish the trauma you endured, but she went through a lot, too.  I know you can’t compare your experiences, but if you would just acknowledge hers, you two might find some common ground.”

“You make it sound so easy.  It’s complex…”

“Why, because you were both spies?”

“It’s a dangerous business.”

“So is detecting bombs, but that’s what she wants to do.  She also wants you back, and from the look on your face, I think you want her.  I seem to remember you were planning to give her an engagement ring for Christmas, before you left for Iraq.  I wonder whatever happened to that ring?” Dotty questioned aloud.

“I wonder what happened to it, too!” he mumbled, looking away.

Dotty put her hand on Lee’s shoulder. “A part of her is dying, a little every day.  It’s almost like those first weeks back in 1988, when you were missing.  She nurtured your love for so long, Lee, but love dies, if it’s neglected.”

“You really think she still loves me?” Lee choked out, his own emotions betraying him.

“I know she does, but don’t wait too long.  If you don’t make a move soon, you might drive her back into the arms of a man she doesn’t truly love.”

“I’ve missed her, Dotty,” Lee confessed.  “I still love her.”

“I know that, Lee,” Dotty answered, tears in her eyes.  “You two have suffered enough pain the last three years.  Don’t waste anymore time…”

“You really do know how to tug on somebody’s heartstrings, don’t you,” he whispered while he pulled her into a hug.

“I only want what’s best for my daughter.”

“Grandma, are you all right?” Jamie worried when he walked into the waiting area.

Dotty wiped her eyes.  “Yes, sweetheart, I’m fine.  Lee and I were getting reacquainted.  It’s good to have you back, Lee.”

“It’s good to be back, Dotty,” Lee answered with a smile.

*******

A few days later
 

Lee Stetson stood on Amanda’s doorstep, a huge bouquet of flowers in one hand, and groceries in the other.  He rang the bell, covering his face with the flowers and waited for Amanda to open the door.

“Oh my gosh!” Amanda exclaimed, “Those flowers are beautiful!”

Pulling the flowers down to reveal his face, he smiled.  “I’m glad you like them.”

“Lee!” she gasped.

“Hi, can I come in?  I brought lunch!” he explained, holding up the bag of groceries.

“Uh, sure,” she nodded, moving aside.  “But it’s kind of early for lunch.  It’s not even eleven yet.”

“I know, but I have to cook it!” he said, putting the flowers down on the coffee table and continuing into the kitchen.  “What do you say to some homemade chicken soup to help in your recovery?”

“Lee, that’s really unnecessary.  I was going to open up a can.”

Ignoring her opposition, he surveyed his wife, who was wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt. There were many scabs and bruises on her arms and neck, but he knew her clothes hid others.  The bandage on her forehead concealed the deep gash, where the doctors put in nine stitches.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’m actually feeling pretty good.”

“Amanda, I thought you didn’t like to lie?” he admonished and took her hand in his.  “Look me in the eye and tell me, honestly, how you feel.”

“You’re right,” she admitted, sighing heavily.  A small smile crept across her face and she looked up into his eyes.  “My whole body aches.”

“Now, telling the truth didn’t hurt a bit; did it?” he asked, leading her over to the couch and making her sit down.  He kissed her cheek.  “Why don’t you rest, while I get lunch started?”

He gave her a quick wink before returning to the kitchen and getting to work.  Glancing into the family room several times, he noticed she’d dozed off.  About an hour later, the soup was ready and he set the table.

“Amanda,” he whispered softly, kneeling beside her by the couch.  “Are you hungry, yet?  Lunch is ready.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she sniffed the aroma in the air.  “It smells delicious.  How about I set the table?”

“Already done.”

“Really?  What time is it?” she asked, craning her neck to see the clock.

“A little after twelve,” he answered.

“Wow, I must have taken a cat nap,” she presumed.

“Several,” he replied, offering his hand to help her up.

“I guess I was more exhausted than I thought.”

They sat down to homemade soup and warm French bread.  They both ate hungrily.

“Mmm, this is delicious.  I forgot how skillful a cook you were,” Amanda replied between mouthfuls.  “Thanks for coming over.”

“I only wish the circumstances were different.  Amanda, I’m sorry about the explosion.  I should have never let you into the building.”

“There’s no need to be sorry, Lee.  We were both doing our jobs.”

“I knew they were bombs from the moment I saw them,” he confessed guiltily.

“You couldn’t have known for sure, Lee,” Amanda corrected immediately.  “You thought the device at the ‘Hotel Imperial’ the week before, was a bomb, too, but it wasn’t.  The ‘Beltway Bomber’ and some of the copycats are rather sophisticated.  A quick glance doesn’t tell the whole story.”

“I’m going to find that bastard and stop him, once and for all,” Lee grumbled, angrily.

“The sooner the better,” she agreed.  “We’ve been trying to catch him for six months now.  He’s progressing, becoming bolder each time.”

“He’ll make a mistake sooner or later.”

“Let’s hope that nobody else gets hurt or worse yet, killed.”

“Amanda, can I ask you a question?” Lee asked, nervously.

She nodded.

“How did you end up working at the ATF detecting bombs?  I assumed when you left the Agency, you found something… well a little…”

“Safer?” she finished his sentence for him.

This time, he nodded.

“It’s complicated, Lee,” she answered, rubbing her forehead.

“Are you feeling all right?”

“I’ve got a never ending headache.”

“Considering the gash you had on your head, I’m not surprised,” he answered, reaching out and entwining his fingers with hers.  “How about you finish your soup and you go upstairs to bed for a while.  We can talk another time; when you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, finishing up the soup in her bowl.  “Is there any more?”

Lee happily refilled her bowl.  “I’m glad you’ve got an appetite.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” she answered, their eyes met and they smiled at one another.

They finished their soup in silence, but the mood was companionable, not tense or strained, as it had been on their previous encounters.

Nodding his head slightly, he told her.  “Upstairs to bed, now.”

“I’ll be fine on the couch,” she rebutted.

“Do I have to carry you up the stairs, Amanda?” he asked with a stern look on his face.

“I thought you might like the company…”

“I’d love the company, but I want you to feel better, and that means rest.  I’ve got to clean the kitchen and the noise might keep you from sleeping.”

Amanda surprised him by not arguing further.  “All right…”

“And don’t be reading a book or tidying your bedroom.  I’ll be up when I’m finished to check on you,” he warned.

Amanda stood up and came over to the other side of the table where Lee was sitting.  She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek.   “Thanks for lunch.”

“You’re welcome,” he answered while he watched his wife disappear from the room.  It was obvious how worn out she was by looking at her.  The fact that she didn’t fuss when he told her he’d clean up only confirmed it.

Lee put the leftovers from lunch into the refrigerator.  Then he began working on dinner for Amanda and the boys.  Lee enjoyed cooking in Amanda’s kitchen; he felt quite at home.  After putting dinner in the oven and cleaning the kitchen until it was spotless, he quietly climbed up the stairs.  When he peeked into her room, the door squeaked open, causing her to stir.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Amanda stretched and grimaced, her body still sore.  “I’ve been meaning to oil that door.  What time is it?”

Leaning down, he kissed her forehead tenderly, being ever so careful of the bandage.  “It’s two thirty.”

“Oh my gosh!  I’ve slept half the day away.”

“Your body obviously needed the rest.”

“Sit by me.” She patted the bed.

“You look a little better.  How are you feeling?” he asked when he sat down beside her.

“More rested, thanks to you,” she nodded, struggling with her aching body to sit up comfortably in the bed.  “Can I ask you something and I want an honest answer?”

“Sure.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, because I do appreciate you being here, but why are you here?” she asked curiously.  “Did Billy make me your assignment or do you feel guilty or what?”

“It’s not an assignment, but I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I feel guilty, Amanda,” he started to explain and immediately, the smile on her face vanished.  He put his hand on hers.  “But that’s not the only reason.  I’m here because I want to be here.  Your mother and I spoke the other night at the hospital.  She was rather… candid with me.”

Amanda cringed and nodded knowingly.  “My mother sent you on a guilt trip…”

“No, I felt guilty enough when that bomb went off, but your mother doesn’t mince words.  She told it like it was, and I needed to hear what she had to say,” he said firmly.  “She informed me that you broke off your engagement.”

“I tried to tell you that…”

“Please, Amanda, let me finish.  When I got out of Iraq, I expected to come home to find you waiting for me, with open arms.  It was the perfect fantasy and it got me through three grueling years of hell, but it was just that - a fantasy,” he continued to explain.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Lee put a finger to her lips.

“When I went on that assignment, nobody knew we were married.  I’m assuming you never told anyone differently.”

Amanda shook her head.

“Even if there hadn’t been someone else in your life, it’s not like I could walk in the front door, move in and play house.  Nobody knew our true relationship.”

“No, they didn’t…”

“When I found out you were engaged, I was hurt and angry.  Hell, I was furious!  Then I got depressed.  I’ve never been good at dealing with my emotions – you know that.  Coming home and finding everything… changed, well, I lashed out at you.  You were right that day in your backyard; I was blaming you, instead of searching for solutions.”

“You were dealing with a lot of things all at once,” she reminded him.

“That was the trouble; I wasn’t dealing with any of my problems.  According to Pfaff, my emotions are all normal phases of recovery.”

“You talked to Pfaff?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, running his hand nervously through his hair.  “I started drinking, a lot and alone, a different bar every night.  I was trying to numb the emptiness.”

“Oh my gosh, Lee, no!”

Lee glanced away, ashamed of his behavior.  “I woke up one morning and realized I didn’t survive three years in Iraq, to turn into a drunk.  It took a few sessions with Pfaff before I could put things in perspective.  You didn’t abandon me in Iraq; the CIA did that.   Then, the Agency accepted their word without any investigation.  I blamed you for everything and clearly, it wasn’t your fault.  You were another innocent victim.  You had every reason to believe I was dead.  Three years is a long time – that’s a lot of lonely nights.”

“Some nights much lonelier than others,” she mumbled.

Lee’s voice was low, not more than a whisper.  “I said some things to you over the last few weeks that I deeply regret.  I hurt you and pushed you away, but the truth is, I don’t want to push you away.  I want you in my life.  It took the explosion for me to see things clearly.”

“I want you in my life, too,” she whispered with tears in her eyes.

“I know people change; things change.  Hell, look at Phillip and Jamie.  When I left, they were kids; now, they’re almost men.  I realize ‘technically’, we’re married, but nobody knows it.  Not to mention, we’ve never lived a normal, married day, in our lives.  We need to get reacquainted again…”

“Lee…”

“This time, though, we’ll move forward faster.  No dragging our feet.”

“You have been talking to Mother,” Amanda smiled.

He leaned his forehead against his wife’s.  She reached up and touched his face, gently.  In return, he caressed hers.  Lee was just about to kiss her lips when they heard the front door open and then slam shut.

“Mom?” the boys shouted.  “We’re home.”

Smiling sympathetically at her husband, she called out to her sons.  “I’m upstairs, fellas.”

Lee shook his head.  “Some things never change.”  Their momentary tryst abruptly halted as the boys came rushing into the room.
 

End Part Fifteen

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