Confessions at Pine Top      by Robin

Written:  June –August 2005

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Author’s Note -  A missing scene from the end of the last season after "Billy’s Lost Weekend".      As always, special thanks to my beta readers - you know who you are!      Reader comments are always welcome.

The Disclaimer:  This story is based on characters copyrighted by Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production Company.  It is meant for enjoyment purposes only.  I retain the right to the plot and not the characters.  Do not distribute or copy this story in part or full without written consent of the author.

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Lee woke up and reached out for her, but the other side of the bed was empty.  He sat up and blinked his eyes, waiting for them to adjust in the darkness.  Finally he focused on a silhouette across the room standing motionless, by the window.

He carefully extricated his legs from the covers.   He stood, grabbing his robe to cover his body.  The thin briefs he wore provided little warmth in the chill of the night.  He silently padded over to the window.  “Amanda, are you all right?” Lee whispered anxiously, careful not to startle her.

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep,” she answered without turning.  Her gaze was focused out the window, at the weather outside.

He reached out with his hand and touched her shoulder.  “You’re freezing!” he remarked with concern, however he wasn’t surprised; all she was wearing was a rather alluring, but incredibly sheer negligee with only thin straps.

She rubbed her arms mechanically in an unsuccessful attempt to warm herself.  “I am a little cold, I guess,” she mumbled softly.  “Ironic, isn’t it?  I’m cold in here, yet out there, it’s too warm to snow.  I don’t think it’s ever going to stop raining.”

“The weather’s been a big disappointment,” he observed as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to warm her with his body.  He rested his chin on her shoulder as he too gazed at the disappearing white snow on the ski slopes in the distance.

“Well, maybe a little,” she answered with a sigh.

Lee immediately frowned as he loosened his hold on her and shrugged.  “I’m really sorry…”

“Lee,” Amanda turned when she heard the tone of his voice.  His arms, still loosely around her, she looked up into his eyes and smiled.  “I’m sorry about the weather.   I’m not sorry I’m here with you, so please don’t apologize for the rain.”

“I really wanted this weekend to be perfect.  All that fresh powder and the minute we arrive it turns to rain.  It would’ve been fun to get in some skiing or take a long walk in the snow.  A lot better than getting drenched by this dreary, cold rain,” he responded dejectedly.

“Everything else about this weekend has been perfect.  I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together – alone and without interruption from work or my family,” she reminded him.

Encouraged a bit, he squeezed her hand and tugged on it gently.  “How about you come back to bed and tell me why you couldn’t sleep before you catch a cold?”  Lee led her back to bed, tugged on the sheet and blanket to tuck her in.  He sat on the edge of the bed and caressed her face.

“I hadn’t realized how cold I’d gotten,” she remarked as he fussed about her.

“Do you want me to start another fire and warm the cabin up?” he asked as he stood up, glancing at the now extinguished fire that had earlier roared in the corner fireplace.

“No, really, I’ll be fine.”  She patted the spot next to her.  “Why don’t we just cuddle for a while?”

Lee nodded, crossed around the bed, placed his bathrobe at the foot of it and climbed back under the sheets.  He sat up and pulled her close to him, then wrapped his arm around her back.  “Comfortable?”

“Very,” she replied as she snuggled up against his warm, muscular body.

They both sat without speaking for a few minutes.  They could hear the wind driven rain pelt the window.   Lee took solace in the sound, but needed to know what was bothering her. “So, um, how come you couldn’t sleep?” he questioned with a sense of dread.

“Been thinking about a lot of things…” she answered, but didn’t elaborate.

His heart sank.  Was she upset that they’d finally consummated their physical relationship? He hadn’t intended to pressure her into going away for the weekend, but maybe he had.  A romantic cabin in the woods, just the two of them, what had he expected her to think he wanted?  “Amanda, if you’re having second thoughts about…”

“Lee, I know what you’re thinking, but you didn’t force me to do anything.  I wanted to come up here to be with you.  We’ve needed a weekend alone for a while now.  It’s just this weekend has gone by too quickly; I want more time.  I’ve enjoyed every moment up here with you.  I don’t regret a thing,” she insisted firmly.

“Except the rain,” he suggested.

“Well, maybe the rain…”

Lee sat silently waiting for a ‘but’; however she let out a small sigh then rested comfortably against his chest.  Lee kissed the top of her head and then he sighed heavily.

“Sounds like there’s something on your mind, too,” she surmised.  “Come on, Lee, out with it.”

“No, it’s nothing,” he insisted as he pulled her even closer to him, drawing comfort from the physical contact of her body next to his.

“Lee, if we’re going to be married some day, we have to learn to share our feelings with each other.  Please?” she appealed.

Lee sat silently, not wanting to ruin the relaxed mood.  He yawned, hoping to feign that he was tired and they’d leave this conversation for another time.

“You can’t fool me, Stetson, I know you’re not that sleepy, so quit stalling,” she encouraged.

He sat up a bit in bed and took a deep breath.  “Amanda, you’ve agreed to marry me, yet, you’ve never really introduced me to your family.  I know I’ve met your mother, but it was brief and as your boss.  I sometimes wonder why you don’t let me come in when I pick you up on a Saturday.  I’d like to meet the boys, or maybe have me over for dinner one night to get to know Philip and Jamie.  They don’t have to know we’re engaged.  I can keep it casual… for a while.  I know I’m not great with kids but, I think I need to start somewhere.  Sometimes I worry that maybe you think I’d be a bad influence on the boys…”

“Oh my gosh, Lee, no!” she gushed with a mix of concern and surprise.  “I’ve never invited you over because… well, I thought you weren’t ready.  I didn’t realize you were waiting for an invitation.  I’ve wanted to have the boys meet you since we got home after the Stemwinder incident, but I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“So maybe we could set something up next week sometime?” he asked eagerly.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” she replied happily.

“Good, that’s one thing off my mind,” he answered and rested his head against the headboard of the bed.

“There’s more?” she questioned, her tone suggesting she was surprised.

“I worry about you,” he replied in a soft voice.

“Me!  Why?”

“I know what a big a step this was for you this weekend.  I know how you feel about... casual sex,” he replied with a nervous laugh.  “Hell, for years it was my middle name.  That’s why this weekend’s been so unnerving for me.  I love you.”  He swallowed hard and paused for a few moments before continuing, carefully choosing his words.  “I’ve never made love to someone before.  I’ve had sex with…I don’t even want to guess how many women… but this weekend has been different.  This weekend I made love with a very special woman that I really, truly care deeply about.”

“Lee,” she replied in a hushed tone.  “I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me you love me,” he whispered huskily as he stared across the darkened room, afraid to look at her face despite the darkness.  He needed to be reassured once again.

“I love you, Lee Stetson,” she replied sincerely, nuzzling against his exposed chest.

He let out a long slow breath, relieved by her admission of her love.  Again the rain pierced the silence in the room, but for the moment it had a calming effect on him.  He thought about their discussions over the weekend.   “I think it’s a good thing that it’s raining,” he commented.

“Why’s that?” she asked as she glanced back at his face.

“Because if it had snowed all weekend, we would have spent hours on the ski slopes and a couple more in the bar or at dinner and never really spent time together,” he explained in a caring voice.  “We would have come back to the cabin cold and exhausted.  Instead, we’ve barely left this place and I’m not upset about it at all.  We’ve talked, something I’ve never been good at, but I’m learning it’s not as awful as I thought it would be.  I’ve gotten to know you better and I really love the person you are, Amanda King.”

“I’m learning a lot about you, too,” she whispered.

“And you’re still here so that’s a good sign,” he answered only half jokingly.  He’d rarely spoke about himself to anyone before, but somehow, with Amanda, it seemed to soothe him.  They spoke about everything.  They discussed their vastly different childhoods, laughed about each others antics in college, discussed how important the Agency was to each of them and the value of family.  Lee was finding that talking with Amanda was cathartic in ways he never imagined.

“You’ve shown me tiny glimpses of who you are over the last few years.  This weekend you’ve actually let your guard down for a while.  I care very deeply about the real Lee Stetson, regardless of your past demons,” Amanda admitted as she stroked his chest tenderly.

Lee laced his fingers with hers.  “I’ve never been one to take the time to ‘talk’ before.”

“You know, Lee, you’re a wonderful lover.  Everything I had hoped for and more,” she affirmed in a pleased voice, “but more importantly you’re my best friend.  You have been for a while.  I know sex is an important part of a relationship, but companionship and caring are essential.”

“You’ve been my best friend for a while, too, Amanda, much longer than I’ve let on,” Lee admitted guiltily as he stroked her face tenderly.  “But, I’ve always been much better at romancing a woman than having an honest discussion with one.”

“You’re doing just fine, Lee, but you’re right.  I don’t think anyone has ever romanced me quite the way you have,” Amanda observed as she kissed him.

“There’s so much that I want now, Amanda, and you’re at the top of the list.  There are so many things I want to share with you.  I love spending time with you, talking, cooking, or just being with you.  That’s why I wanted everything to be perfect for you this weekend and every weekend: candles, soft music, wine or champagne, whatever your pleasure,” he stopped, not certain that his words were conveying what he really felt deep inside.

“There’s only one thing I really want more than anything in the world, and that’s you, Lee,” Amanda answered in a sensual voice.  She shifted her body, turning on her side as her hand caressed his bare chest and her lips sought out and captured his.

Lee kissed her fervently.  The worry and doubt they’d shared had melted away, much like the snow outside.  The passion they had for each other embraced them as they explored their relationships in ways they had both only dreamed of…


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