The Disclaimer: This story is based on characters copyrighted by Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production Company.  It is meant for enjoyment purposes only, I retain the right to the plot and not the characters.  Do not distribute or copy this story in part or full without the express written consent of the author.

Set in September 1987…
 

Lee bolted from his bed, bathed in sweat. Quickly, he raced to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face as he gasped for air. While toweling his face dry he realized his whole body was shaking. The nightmare had left him disoriented – not even sure what day it was, or even what month. He swallowed hard, a feeling of dread washed over him.

'What year is it?' he wondered to himself.

He left the bathroom in such haste his towel fell to the floor. Sprinting for the living room, Lee flicked on the light switch, dousing the room with an almost blinding light. His heart was still racing when he grabbed the newspaper and waited an eternity for his eyes to adjust to the bright room. Finally the tiny print came into focus. At last he realized it was a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. Exhaustion from the bad dream drained his legs of their remaining strength and his body dropped wearily to the sofa. He allowed the newspaper to fall from his still shaking hand.

He glanced at the clock on the wall - it was only 2AM. He couldn't call her, not at this crazy hour. What would he tell her? His apprehension returned and he stood, unsure of what to do; he began to pace the room nervously.

"This is crazy," he yelled at himself. Finally Lee walked back into his bedroom, went to his closet and pulled on a pair of jeans. "I'll just drive by her house. Make sure everything is all right," he said in a casual tone, continuing his conversation with himself, but it wasn't helping to calm his tattered nerves.

He searched his apartment for his car keys three times before he noticed that they were right where they should have been on his desk. He clutched the keys tightly in his hand and was half way to the door before he stopped.

"What am I doing?" he asked himself out loud. "I won't just drive by her house. I'll end up climbing that damn trellis again. She'll kill me."

He put his keys back down and sat next to the phone. He tried deep breathing exercises to relax. He had to wait. He couldn't call her at this hour, yet he kept picking up the receiver until logic took over and he'd put it back down.

"I've got to talk to her. I need to hear her voice," he determined - logic be damned. Without further hesitation, he picked up the receiver and dialed her familiar number.

It took three rings before she picked up.

"Hello," she answered groggily.

"Did I wake you?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"What do you think?" she replied testily. Then her attitude changed quickly. "Is something wrong?"

"I have to see you," he answered. It wasn't a question; it was a dire necessity.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Amanda asked as she looked over at the glowing red numbers on her alarm clock.

"It… it doesn’t matter. I’m coming over," he stammered.

"Lee, it's two-thirty in the morning! What's wrong? A security problem?" she worried, concerned about his late night phone call.

"No, it's nothing like that. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I love you," he answered before he hung up the phone. He couldn't wait for her reply. There would be no further discussion. He HAD to see her.

*** *** ***

Amanda got out of bed, grabbed her robe and silently tiptoed downstairs. She went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee hoping that would pry her mind from its drowsy state. Lee had sounded cryptic over the phone; she wasn't sure whether either of them would get back to sleep this morning.

It was only a few minutes later when Lee rapped quietly on her kitchen window.

She unlocked the door and let him in. "Lee, what's going on? You look awful."

Lee just pulled her to him and held her tightly in his arms. He whispered softly in her ear. "I love you, Amanda."

She pulled away. "Lee, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "Nothing, really," he answered, but his voice and his body language was less than convincing. "I just needed to see you, to hold you."

"Lee Stetson, you woke me up at two thirty in the morning to tell me you love me and give me a hug? I don't think so. What's going on?" She demanded an explanation. He looked like hell and was acting strange, almost desperate.

Lee shook his head. How could he tell her about his dreams? She'd think he was crazy. He'd end up on a couch in Pfaff's office for weeks.

"Lee, something's wrong. Now what is it?" she asked with a little more composure as her adrenaline cleared the cobwebs from her mind.

He sighed. He owed her an explanation, but where should he start? This hadn't been the first nightmare, but a series of nightmares that had been coming regularly for almost a week. He'd been getting less and less sleep. He'd go to bed later and later each night hoping they wouldn't come at all. But each night, the nightmare would return, more vivid and detailed than the one before. Each time it concluded in the same awful manner.

"Billy's been dropping hints about sending me over to Berlin. With all that's going on in Eastern Europe right now, I could be over there for a while," he finally admitted.

Amanda's shoulders slumped as she leaned against the counter. "He's already written the orders hasn't he? That's why you're here now isn't it? You can't sleep because you've been putting off telling me. When are you leaving?"

"I'm not leaving. That's just it, I don't want to go. I can't go," he implored.

"Lee, you're not making any sense," she argued, not following his logic. "Something else is going on here or we wouldn't be having this discussion at three AM. Now are you going to tell me what's really going on, or do I have to call Billy myself?" she asked as she reached for the phone on the wall.

"Can we sit down?" Lee suggested. He needed to tell her. He couldn't let it happen. The dream was too real. It scared the hell out of him.

"Yeah, of course," she replied and then nodded towards the fresh coffee she made. "You want some coffee?"

"No," he shook his head. The thought turned his stomach.

She led him into the family room and she sat down tugging on his arm to sit beside her. At first he began to pull away. He felt like a trapped animal.

"Lee, sit with me. Talk to me," she appealed soothingly. "Please?"

He shook his head, trying to chase the vivid scenes from the most recent nightmare that still lingered in his mind. Finally he sat down next to her. His hand touched her face in a gentle caress. He closed his eyes. He loved to touch her soft skin. He loved the response he got from her when he touched her, kissed her. He loved so much about her and how she had changed his life. He couldn't lose that. Not for a week, not for a month and certainly not forever.

"Lee!" Amanda called softly to him, seeing that he was lost in thought.

He opened his eyes and smiled. She was still there. Her warm loving brown eyes looked at him, not the hateful eyes that glared at him at the end of his nightmare. He would make sure that nightmare didn't come true. He trusted her enough to share with her his deepest fear.

"Amanda, you're going to think I'm crazy, but over the last week I've been having these insane nightmares. They just continue night after night, progressing in time." Lee started to explain, swallowing hard. "In my dream, Billy sends me to Berlin, but everything goes wrong…"

"Exactly what is 'everything'?" she asked, her eyes mirroring a look of fear. "Does something happen to you? Do you get shot? Are you…" she paused and whispered hoarsely, "killed?"

"No, it's not me…!" he replied in frustration, his heart was beginning to pound again. It was coming out all wrong. She would never believe that this nightmare, this warning of what was going to happen, was anything but a bad dream. He swallowed hard and started again.

"Nothing happens to me. It's us. If I go over there, it's going to split us up."

"Lee, sweetheart, you know I can't go over to Berlin for an unknown length of time. I can't leave the boys for more than a few days, a week tops," Amanda reasoned, trying to calm his frayed nerves. "Besides, I'm not fluent like you are in German. I'd be more of a burden over there than a help…"

"You don't understand. If I go over to Berlin, we're going to end up divorced!" he shouted loudly.

"Shhh, Lee, you'll wake up Mother and the boys!" she admonished looking up the stairs, half expecting her mother to come down. Then she turned back to him and whispered. "Besides it was just a dream. A few weeks in Berlin isn't going to cause us to divorce. You've been sent overseas before. I don't like it, but I hardly see it as grounds for divorce."

"Amanda, I'm serious; this is different," he begged her understanding. How could he explain to her how significant this premonition was? "These dreams are so vivid, so real. I get sent over there and all hell breaks loose; I get stuck over there for months. You and I barely get to talk on the phone. The next thing I know a courier comes knocking at the door one morning with divorce papers."

"Lee, you're just overtired. You're confusing yourself with Joe in your dreams. Joe and I were worlds apart when we divorced, but it wasn't only the mileage that separated us," she tried to explain reassuringly. "That's not going to happen to us."

"I abandoned you, just like Joe did," he reasoned, fatigue fogging his mind.

"Lee, it's not going to happen. Joe wanted to be where he was. He didn't want to be here with me. It's not the same," she tried to explain, but she looked at him and knew he was serious. In his exhausted state, he didn't see any difference.

"Amanda, it gets worse. Instead of coming home to you, to stop this awful nightmare, I signed the papers. I SIGNED THE PAPERS!" he uttered with desperation, his head falling into his hands as if he was giving up.

"Lee, you're letting this dream consume you. That's all it is. It's a crazy nightmare. You've been working too hard and we haven't had any time together lately. If we had, you wouldn't have come up with such a ridiculous idea."

He again continued, ignoring her calm dismissal of his nightmares. "You leave the Agency. We don't see each other again for ten years. Then, when we do, it's too late. The hate in your eyes… we never get back together."

"Lee, stop it. Just stop it," Amanda whispered harshly, nervousness creeping into her voice.

"I can't stop it. That's the whole problem. I can't sleep without these dreams torturing me. I can't stay awake, you said it when I walked in; I look like hell. I can't think straight. If I don't get some sleep soon, I'm going to end up falling asleep behind the wheel, or getting myself killed on the job," he replied as he stared at the floor.

"What you need to do is ask Billy for some time off. A few days off and a couple of good nights sleep," she said with deep concern for her husband and partner.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep, Amanda," he repeated, his hands rubbing his tired, bloodshot eyes. "I don't want to sleep alone anymore. I won't let this nightmare become a reality. I can't go over to Germany."

"Shhh," she whispered soothingly as she held him tightly. She could feel his body shaking in her arms. "It's going to be all right. You're not going anywhere."

The calmness in her voice helped comfort him. He looked in her dark brown eyes. She didn't think he was crazy. He saw love and understanding. He saw that together their future wouldn't end in divorce, but that it was time to make an important change.

Amanda smiled at him. She understood what his dream was telling him. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. I think it's time we share our 'secret'. Perhaps that's what your dream is trying to tell you. If Billy knew you were married he would never send you on an extended assignment overseas. But regardless of where you are, Berlin, Georgetown or Arlington, you are and always will be the love of my life. Nothing can or will change that."

Lee listened to her reassuring words and her soothing voice. He knew she was right. They belonged together, not separated by a river, certainly not by an ocean. That was really what his dream was trying to tell him. She was right. Billy wouldn't send him on overseas indefinitely if they were married.

"Marry me again, Amanda," he whispered resolutely.

She smiled at him and half laughed. "I'd marry you anytime, Lee."

"This time for real?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure last time was for real too, but this time, maybe we'll invite the family?" she teased him.

"Well, at least some of your family anyway," he answered softly as a smile began to form on his face. His body began to relax for the first time in days.

Amanda pulled him to her, kissing the top of his head as he leaned against her. "OK, now that that's settled, how about you get some shut eye."
 
 

"Amanda, what if the dreams don't go away?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Trust me, Lee. I've been a mother for almost fifteen years now. I've learned a thing or two about bad dreams," she reassured. "Besides, even if you did have another one, you won't be alone, I'll be right here."

"You're not going to change your mind in the morning?" he mumbled.

"Close your eyes, Lee. It's already morning and I promise you I'll never change my mind. I'll still marry you all over again," she whispered softly as she gently stroked his face.

"I love you, Amanda Stetson," he murmured quietly.

"And I'll always love you, Lee Stetson," she answered with a tender kiss.

Lee's head rested warmly against her shoulder and she allowed her head to gently lay on his. She listened in silence for a while to the rhythmic pattern of Lee's breathing. When she was sure he was sleeping peacefully she closed her own eyes and she too drifted off to sleep.

Not only would the nightmares cease, but come daybreak they would find that their dreams would begin to come true.

The end…

Go To:  Robin's Stories

Back to:  IFF Film Library