Rating: 
Summary: Jack, Will, and Grace are out shopping for Jack's ‘surprise' 29th birthday party. After Wll and Jack go off the find music, Grace looks for a good birthday present for Jack. Instead, she finds Sam Truman, Will's brother whom he hasn't spoken to for years after a fight about Sam's fiancée (Will told Sam that he thought she was a bitch).
Later that day, Grace and Karen are ‘baking' a cake for Jack's party, which consists of Karen phoning Rosario to bake the cake. When Will returns home, Grace tells him about her encounter with Sam and Will quickly changes the subject, saying he has to go change. Grace is frustrated at Will's behaviour, but naturally Karen couldn't care less about the situation.
The next night at Jack's party, Grace hints at Will that she has a surprise for him and he certainly is surprised when he opens the door to find Sam on the other side.
Will is furious that Grace invited Sam and Grace is upset that Will won't even talk to Sam. Grace convinces Sam to stay at the party for a while after finding out that he and his wife have divorced. At that point, Karen announces that she thought it would be a good idea to make a toast to Jack. At first, no one is eager, so Karen toasts Jack, followed by Will. Will's toast, however, is more like an attack on his brother than a compliment to his friend. Sam still attempts to talk to Will, telling him about the divorce, but Will is still upset at Sam cutting him out of his life. Sam prepares to leave again, but Grace stops him and tells him to go talk to Will.
Unfortunately, Will and Sam's ‘talk' soon turns to a brawl, as they swipe insults at each other during Jack's speech. After telling them to shut up, Jack prepares to read a poem about himself. However, after stating he was born in 1969, Karen points out that he's not 29, he's 30. Needless to say, Jack faints.
After the party, Grace is still attempting a reconcile between the estranged brothers, and is getting down to their childhood traumas when Jack phones, still shocked that he's 30. Will leaves to cheer him up, thanking Grace for trying to help him. Grace decides to clean up and Sam is about to leave when, unexpectedly, the two kiss. The show ends, to be continued next week in Big Brother Is Coming Part 2.
Karen & Jack Quotes:
JACK(standing in front of a tall plant): Hey, look, I'm Cher...circa 1978. ‘My daughter's a what?!' (STANDING UP) Why are you guys buying my birthday present in here? No, no, no. I don't need kitchen appliances. I eat all my meals at your house. Doi! Oh, my god, and do not get me a juicer. I just sold the one I had.
GRACE: Um... this birthday party we're throwing for you, it's still a surprise, right?
JACK: Oh, my god, totally. But I want to go over the guest list. And I want a celebrity. No one lower than Joan Van Ark.
WILL: How about Joan of Ark?
JACK: What--what show is she on?
GRACE (baking): Ohh, where are the measuring spoons? (KAREN, SITTING ON THE COUNTER, KICKS OPEN THE DRAWER) (TO KAREN, WHO IS DRINKING A MARTINI) You know what? Maybe you want to put down your little sippy cup and help me make Jack's cake.
KAREN: Well, honey, all you had to do was ask. I'm happy to help. (DIALS THE PHONE. ON THE PHONE:) Rosario. (BEAT) Yeah. Hi, honey, listen, I'm gonna need you to make one of your 7-layer cakes for tomorrow. Mm-hmm. And keep an eye on the kids. The fat one's gonna go right for the bowl. (BEAT) Ok. Hola. (HANGS UP.) All done. Baking is fun.
WILL: What did you end up getting Jack?
GRACE: I've narrowed it down to something spandex with padding.
WILL: So we're gonna get him Richard Simmons?
KAREN: Oh, my god! Do you know what he would love? Oh! What is that deal down in the Mediterranean where you can charter a yacht with another couple for a week? You know, 7-person cruise, they take you up the Italian Riviera. Oh, what is the name of that boat?!
WILL: Oh, I know. The S.S. Lower Your Dosage.
GRACE: 30 seconds after you left, Sam Truman walks up to me.
KAREN (TO WILL): Ooh! Old lover?
WILL (TO KAREN): Sam Truman? My brother?
KAREN: So... no?
GRACE (TO KAREN): Ohh! This is so stupid. Five years ago, Will told Sam he hated the woman he was going to marry. And as a result, Sam cut Will out of his life completely. And--and they were-- they were so close. And now, finally, finally, Sam is ready--
KAREN: Honey. Honey... I barely care about Will. Can ya imagine how I feel about the brother?
KAREN (TO JACK): Damn it, honey. I was hoping there'd be at least one straight guy here tonight in case these puppies accidentally fall out. (BENDING OVER) Oops! Whoo!
KAREN (TO PARTY GUESTS): Ok, could I have everybody's attention? I thought it would be fun if people came up and made a toast to the man of the hour. So... who wants to say a few words about Jack? (NO ONE MOVES...) Come on, queens are better to open. Oh, all right, I'll start. Uh... Hmm... Oh, ok. Say it's 12:45, and one of your real girlfriends cancels for lunch. Well, there is nobody-- and I do mean nobody-- who can fill in like Jack. (TO JACK) Honey, if catty were a perfume, you'd reek of it. I love you, honey. I do. I love ya.
WILL: Jack, I joke with you a lot. I call you names. Names like Nellie... Mary... Tinkerbell, Femme-bot, Ally McHomo...
JACK: Get to the good stuff or get off the stage.
WILL: (SERIOUSLY) But I love you, Jack. I don't tell you that enough. You're like... Well... Truth be told, you're like the brother I never had. Oh, what do you know? (GLARES AT SAM) The brother I never had is here tonight. (TO JACK) But, see, unlike him, you'd never cut me out of your life or split up my family. So here's to you, Jack. Happy birthday.
JACK (SOTTO, TO KAREN): What the hell kind of a toast was that?
JACK: That's it. Can you feel that? Hi, lovers. I love you all like lovers. Really. I love you and you and you and... You I don't know, but I could definitely see loving you (PURRS). But most of all, I love... love. I do. Sometimes I love love so much I wish I could take it to Vegas for a really naughty weekend. Thank you, thank you. But what makes today particularly special for me--
WILL (YELLING, OFF-SCREEN): I don't care who you're divorcing, it doesn't change the fact that you cut me off!
SAM (YELLING, OFF-SCREEN): I'm here now! At least I'm making an effort.
JACK: Ok, eyes back to me. 29 years ago--
SAM (YELLING, OFF-SCREEN): You called her a cold-hearted bitch.
WILL (YELLING, OFF-SCREEN): You're my brother. What was I supposed to do, lie?
JACK: Hey, hey! Pay no attention to the brats behind the curtain. So today, I turn 29, which is so unlike me.
WILL (YELLING, OFF-SCREEN): That's a load of crap, and you know it.
SAM (YELLING, OFF-SCREEN): How long are --
JACK (WALKING TOWARDS WILL'S BEDROOM DOOR): It kinda makes you think, doesn't it? (THE SHOUTING CONTINUES) What have I done with my life? Where have I been? (THE SHOUTING CONTINUES) Where do I want to go? Well, I have all the answers, and I've written them down in the form of a poem. (SHOUTING INTO WILL'S BEDROOM) Shut up! (READING FROM CARDS) ‘'Twas a starlit night in '69, when a boy named Jack arrived divine. So nibble your cheese and sip your wine, for today dear Jack turns 29. 'Twas–'
KAREN: Honey, you were born in '69? You're 30!
JACK: No, I-- (JACK FAINTS.)
Other Quotes
GRACE is playing with a juice machine, moving it's ‘mouth.'
GRACE (FUNNY VOICE): Hi. I'm Mr. Juicer.
SAM (NOTICING GRACE): My God, Grace Adler, you have gotten lonely.
SAM: Grace Adler, wow! You know, the last time I saw you, you were (HOLDING HIS FINGERS AN INCH APART) this big. But I was on a hill, and you were far away.
GRACE: I loved the way you put the floor down low where everybody walks. And--and whose idea was it to put the ceiling above everyone's head like that?
SAM: That was mine. Thank you.
GRACE: Sam, he doesn't hate you any more than you hate him.
SAM: Grace, I don't hate him. I love him. I miss him.
GRACE: Ok, he hates you a little more than you hate him.
GRACE: Remember when you selfishly bailed on me at the store and left me to buy a birthday present for you to give your friend?
WILL: Yeah. That was right after I thoughtfully split up the workload so you could make your manicure on time.
GRACE: Yeah, it was right about that time.
GRACE: Will, call your brother. You know, Michael Corleone forgave Fredo.
WILL: Yeah, that was right before he had him taken out to the lake and shot.
GRACE: The important thing is he forgave him.
WILL: No. I think the important thing to Fredo was that he got shot.
WILL: Let's see, we got the cop, the cowboy, the Indian. This has got to be the construction worker. (OPENS THE DOOR, TO FIND:) Sam.
SAM: Will.
WILL (TURNING TO GRACE): Grace.
GRACE: Surprise...
GRACE: Will, I had to do something. You guys are gentiles. This could go on for 40 years.
WILL: Gee, Grace, you're right. Maybe after, we can swing by the Middle East and clear up that whole mess with a big group hug.
GRACE: Will, you were so close. I bet you can't even remember how it all started.
WILL: Five years ago-- June 24, mid-afternoon-- he asked me what I honestly thought of his girlfriend. I said, ‘She's morose and controlling and icy.' He said, ‘Too bad. I'm marrying her.' I said, ‘I don't think that's a very good idea.' He was wearing a blue shirt, and I was wearing the jeans that give me--
GRACE: All right. So you have a vague recollection.
SAM: Ginny and I are getting a divorce.
GRACE: That's fantastic! (BEAT) Oh, no, no. I mean, that's awful. I'm sorry. It's just that's your way in with Will. You gotta tell him.
WILL (ABOUT JACK): He's talking crazy. Using words like ‘irritable bowel' and ‘steady job.' I better get over there.
GRACE: Oh, my god. This place is a mess. Maybe we should just move.
