Summary: The show opens on Will, Grace, Rob and Ellen eating at a restaurant. Rob and Ellen dislike the food and the fact that they have to share a table with complete strangers. Well, just as they've convince Will and Grace (who truly like this restaurant) to go to the Olive Garden instead, two of the strangers suggest that Rob and Ellen eat at the Olive Garden and Will and Grace stay at the current restuarant and they can get together another time. They all agree and the next day at Grace's office, Will and Grace are raving about their new friends, Kai and Naomi, to the less-than-enthusiastic Jack and Karen. As they are talking, Ellen phones to check on the meeting they have arranged at the Olive Garden that night. Will and Grace, who have plans to meet with their new friends that night, tell Ellen that Will is sick, obviously a lie.
After they leave, Karen asks Jack to join her in a trip to a parent teacher meeting she has been forced to go to for one of Stan's kids. At first, Jack refuses, saying that as a kid in elementary school, he was picked on and it's always been a place of pain for him. Karen manages to convince him to come after she calls him a 'big strong man'.
Meanwhile, Will and Grace are just about to go to Elvis Costello with Kai and Naomi, when Rob and Ellen show up at their door bearing soup for a sick Will. Trying not to let either pair of friends know about the other, Will and Grace try to get rid of Rob and Ellen, and at the same time keep their date with Kai and Naomi. As Rob and Ellen are using Will's bathroom and Kai and Naomi are using Grace's, Will and Grace head down in the elevator to catch a cab. Just when it seems they might get away with their lie, they realize, only too late, the possibility of the two pairs running into each other in the hall. When they return, they are too late and Rob and Ellen leave, upset and, despite feeling bad, Will and Grace still manage to join Kai and Naomi at Elvis Costello's concert.
Meanwhile, at the school, Jack starts panicing as memories flood back and is soon left alone as Karen goes to the meeting. However, he is there to see a young boy, John, being harrassed, as he once was, by two other boys. He manages to frighten them away, then talks to John and learns, like he was, John is picked on for being a 'sissy' and not being able to play dodgeball. Also like Jack, John has written a one man show, but is stuck on a title. Naturally, Jack teaches him to do 'Just John'! As their little meeting ends, Karen walks out (it turns out the meeting was to inform her that the kids are on the honour roll)and makes small talk with John, then offers to take Jack and John for martinis, but John declines, as he has to get to flute practice.
The next morning, Will & Grace have hangovers and the newly aquired knowledge that Tiki Donuts turns into a latino drag queen bar at two am. They realize that, although change may be fun once in a while, they aren't prepared to do this every night and call off their new friendship. That night, the duo join Rob and Ellen at the Olive Garden and apologize.
Karen & Jack Quotes
GRACE: Oh, and Kai? Kai has been arrested with Greenpeace 3 times! I wanna get arrested.
JACK AND KAREN [Both]: Go outside in that outfit! Oh, jinx!
KAREN: Oh! I can't believe that!
{TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
[RING]
KAREN (reaches toward phone, but picks something else up): Oh! [TO JACK] Did you see this?
[RING]
[RING]
GRACE: [ANSWERING PHONE] Grace Adler designs.
KAREN: [TO JACK] All right, this shouldn't take long. He'll tell me the fat one set something on fire. I'll buy him a new science wing. And bibbity-bobbity-boo! Everybody's happy!
GRACE: Ok. Ok, Karen, I'll be back in an hour. Um, answer the... Who am I kidding?
[GRACE AND WILL EXIT.]
KAREN: Thank God. Why is she always hanging around here?
JACK: She does whatever Will does. He would be the alpha cow.
KAREN: So, honey, how would you like to have a spa day with me Monday?
JACK: [JUMPING UP AND DOWN, SING-SONG] Jack happy! Jack happy! [DANCING]
KAREN: That's right, we'll do a little mud, a little seaweed, totally detox. Then we'll get plastered, and go over to my stepkids' school for a little parent-teacher conference.
JACK: School? Why don't you take-- And I'm just gonna throw this out at you --Their father?
KAREN: Honey, Stan can't make it. He's having some work done on his Mercedes. Or his...kidneys... I wasn't really paying attention. [SIGHS]
JACK: Sorry, Kar, no can do. Elementary schools freak me out. Too many bad memories... The name-calling, the taunting, the vicious games of ‘Red-rover, red rover, let's beat the hell out of Jack.'
KAREN: Oh, was poodle not very poopular?
JACK: You have no idea. For little Jack McFarland... Or 'Jack McFairyland' as I was known, elementary school was a house of pain.
KAREN: Listen, face your fears. You're not a kid, anymore. You're a big, strong man, so get over it.
JACK: Karen, there's no way I'm going over to that... You just called me a big, strong man.
KAREN: Yes, I did, you big, strong man.
JACK: Ok, I'll go. I'm gonna go. Big, strong man.
KAREN: There's a bunny! [TICKLING JACK]
JACK: Ha ha! Stop it!
KAREN: Little bunny! [TICKLING JACK]
JACK: Stop it!
JACK (to bullies): This macho bully schoolyard crap is so 1983 I could vomit. Now, scram! [HISSES. THEY RUN.] What's with that hair?
JACK (teaching JOHN how to fight): Pull hair, kick them any place that's soft, and run like hell.
JOHN: I just wish I was better at dodge ball. Then this never would have happened.
JACK: Dodge ball? Who cares about dodge ball? You ever see that on a résumé? ‘Special skills: Dodge ball.' That's about as useful as American history.
KAREN: [EXITING, STILL YELLING INTO THE OFFICE] You call me down to this godforsaken place, to tell me my kids made the honor roll?! Honey, my time is precious! Call me when one of them gives birth at the prom! [TO JOHN] What're you looking at?
JOHN: Your shoes.
KAREN: Hmm. They're good, right? [WINKS AT JOHN. THEN TO JACK] Listen, Jack, all this maternal crap is making me thirsty. Let's go to The Palm for a couple of martinis. [TO JOHN] You coming?
JOHN: Um, no, I'm gonna be late for my lesson.
KAREN: Suit yourself. But you'll learn a lot more over martinis at The Palm. (KAREN EXITS)
JOHN: Hey, Jack. Thanks for your help.
JACK: Same here.
Other Quotes
KAI: So, you guys married?
WILL: No, I'm gay. This is my friend.
KAI (to NAOMI): Pay up, honey.
WILL: Oh, oh... Ow, ow... [TRIPS AND FALLS ONTO THE FLOOR] Ow!
[GRACE ENTERS WEARING AN EYE-MASK.]
WILL: [STANDING UP] Holy hangover, Batgirl.
WILL: Who'd have thought that after 2 a.m., Tiki Donuts becomes a Latino drag queen bar?
GRACE: I forget... Is ‘chocolate éclair' the name of a donut, or one of the performers?
WILL: Why are you screaming at me? Yech. [PUTS HIS HEAD IN THE SINK AND RUNS THE WATER]
GRACE: [LOOKING DOWN HER SHIRT] Oh, my god. When did I get my nipple pierced?
WILL: [LOOKING DOWN GRACE'S SHIRT] That's your earring.
GRACE: [PULLING THE RING OUT] Not right. So what time are we hooking up with them tonight?
WILL: Midnight. It's gonna be wild.
GRACE: This whole week has been wild.
WILL: I know. They're crazy.
GRACE: They're fantastic.
WILL: I hate them.
GRACE: Me, too.
ROB: I'm gonna pay the whole check tonight.
ELLEN: We're not splitting it?
ROB: No, ma'am.
ELLEN: That makes me so horny. [ELLEN SLAMS DOWN THE REST OF HER WINE]
WILL: [TO GRACE] Wow, if I wasn't gay before...
ELLEN: Ok, there are few things we need to get straight. First of all, no more lies, ok? I would think that after 15 years of friend-- [ELLEN DRONES ON...]
WILL'S VOICE: [TO GRACE] This is gonna last a while, isn't it?
GRACE'S VOICE: [TO WILL] Yeah, but we deserve it.
WILL'S VOICE: Mmm.
GRACE'S VOICE: Oh. Cute guy over there.
WILL'S VOICE: Where?
GRACE'S VOICE: Psych. We're at The Olive Garden, Will.
Scenes Jack & Karen Have Together
