Summary: In this season 2 premier episode, Grace has moved across the hall from Will, but the two are still very much inseparable (ie: Grace eats breakfast with Will and showers at Will's). Meanwhile, Will informs Jack that he has to move in with Rosario at Karen and Stan's penthouse in order to make it seem like they are really married. However, Jack's 'penthouse view' is more like a brick wall view, as he has to stay where the help stays. The newlyweds also have to share a bed, much to Jack's chagrin.
Over at Will's, he tells Grace that he thinks her living across the hall won't help them live independent lives and suggests that she move farther away. Grace retalliates by saying that she's very independent and is in fact holding a dinner party that he isn't invited to. Needless to say, Will is skeptical.
That night, Will asks out a man he met at the bookstore, while Grace is busy preparing a dinner party for herself, Karen, Rob and Ellen.
As Grace's party gets underway, Jack helps Will dress for his date. Yet when Will's date phones and says he's going to be late, Jack insists that 'running late' is gay for 'I'm blowing you off'. Jack is promptly sent away by Will, who now has doubts about his date.
Over at Grace's, her party isn't going as well as she'd hoped. Her cooking is terrible, she and her guests have to eat on the floor since she has no furniture, and Rob and Ellen can't seem to understand why Will isn't there or what exactly Grace's apartment smells like (she says cat pee, they say it's rosemary). Even Karen insists that Grace never had a chance without Will. When Will shows up, needing Grace's help on what to do about his date. Will wants to find out whether or not the date is still on but finds instead Karen, Rob and Ellen begging him to help them. Grace sees this, but refuses to except that her dinner party is a flop and tells Will to leave, without helping him with his problem.
When the dinner party is finally over, Grace and Will meet in the hall and she admits that living across the hall isn't helping them to become more independent and promises to look for a new apartment, farther away, the next day. At that moment, Richard, Will's date, comes into the hall from Will's apartment to get the pizza they ordered and the two realize that maybe there new living arangements can work out after all.
Meanwhile, we get a glimpse into Jack and Rosario's first night in the same bed: watching TV and discussing socks.
Karen & Jack Quotes:
GRACE {after JACK and WILL trade insults}: Ok, if you two are gonna play Bitchy McSnipe, I'm gonna head back to my place. I just don't understand why someone would subject themselves to a constant barrage of insults day after day.
{GRACE OPENS THE DOOR TO FIND KAREN STANDING ON THE OTHER SIDE}
KAREN {to GRACE): Honey, your new dump smells like cat pee.
GRACE {to WILL}: Never mind.
KAREN {to JACK}: Hey poodle.
JACK {to KAREN}: Who's your daddy?
KAREN {to JACK}: You are.
JACK: Oooo, my very own sexless marriage! Just like Will and Grace!
WILL: No, not like Will and Grace. We don't even live together anymore. She's got her own apartment.
JACK: {SOTTO, to KAREN} 8 dysfunctional feet away.
KAREN: Lord, they're like Siamese twins who are joined at their boring personalities.
KAREN {upon seeing GRACE's hair}: Good Lord. Who Jiffy-Popped her head?
(JACK is helping WILL pick out clothes.)
WILL: D-does this go with this?
JACK: Does 'no' go with 'way'?
KAREN: {NOTICING PICNIC FOR THE DINNER PARTY ON THE FLOOR} Oh. Ha.Grace... What, um...What is this about? {POINTING}
GRACE: Ok, you can stop with the hands of judgment. I don't have any furniture yet, so I thought it would be kind of fun to have a picnic.
KAREN: Oh, I get it. Kind of like Saratoga before the races. Except there's no grass or trees. And of course, Saratoga doesn't smell like a litter box.
{KAREN WALKS ACROSS THE PICNIC AREA KNOCKING OVER PLATES AND CUPS}
GRACE: Actually, it's just like the picnics I had growing up--watermelon, apple pie, drunken bitter Aunt Greta. [GLARES AT KAREN] Karen, can you just please try and have a good time?
KAREN: Oh. Ok, honey. I'll try. {HOPPING UP AND DOWN, CLAPPING} Oh, this is gonna be a wonderful party! A picnic! All of Manhattan will be abuzz! {GIVES TWO THUMBS UP} Speaking of Manhattans and a buzz...{GRABS THE BOTTLE OF GIN AND EXITS TO THE BATHROOM.}
JACK {to WILL AFTER RICHARD PHONES TO SAY HE'S RUNNING LATE}: Ooh. Ouch. Wow. You ok?
WILL: What do you mean, am I ok? Why wouldn't I be?
JACK: Tsk tsk tsk. Will, have you totally forgotten how to speak our language? ‘Running late' is gay for ‘I'm blowing you off.'
WILL: Really. What's gay for get out?
JACK: That would be 'good morning'.
{BEAT}
WILL AND JACK {BOTH}: Good morning, Jack.
KAREN: Grace... You're stuffed in a box getting rid of ass plaque. Take it as a sign. This evening is a bust.
GRACE: {NERVOUS LAUGHTER} Heh heh heh heh heh. I-I-it's not.
KAREN: Honey, honey, it's over, ok? You never had a chance in hell without Wilma. Ok? Now, you know I've never been a big fan of Will's, but let's face it, the girl knows how to entertain, ok?
WILL: Ok. This is the last one. I still don't get why you didn't just hire moving guys.
GRACE: I think we did fine on our own.
WILL: I know, but...moving guys are hot.
GRACE: Ahem. Firemen are hot. You want me to set something on fire?
WILL: Oh, so I, uh, I gave my phone number to that guy at Borders books.
GRACE: Phone number or business card?
WILL: Business card.
GRACE: Not hot.
WILL: Why? What?
GRACE: 'Hi. I'm intimidated by the possibility of rejection, but my secretary isn't. Call her.'
WILL: I'm not intimidated by anything.
GRACE: Then call.
WILL: Oh, yeah, and what if he's there, huh? He says hello, and...where does that leave me?
GRACE: You are a disgrace to your people.
WILL {to JACK and KAREN}: I got a call from my friend at the I.N.S. yesterday, and apparently the marriage between a 30-year-old gay man and a post-menopausal Salvadoran maid flagged something in their computer.
WILL {SITTING IN THE NUDE IN HIS APARTMENT AS GRACE BORROWS A PUDDING CUP}: You know, it's funny. Speaking of chocolate versus swirl, I'm naked! I'm devoid of clothing. I'm in my nude.
GRACE: I know. You're so naked these days. Since when did you start being naked all the time?
WILL {to GRACE}: Now, maybe Jack and Karen were right. You know, maybe--maybe this moving across the hall hasn't solved our problem.
GRACE: Will, you just said Jack and Karen were right. I want you to cut wheat out of your diet.
WILL: {ON THE PHONE} Richard, hi. It's, uh, Will Truman. Yeah. Heh. Listen, I just wanted to call and thank you for, uh...recommending that John Updike to me. My favorite part? Um... When you smiled at me and said, 'Thanks for shopping at Borders.' Yeah. Well...Listen, I just thought I'd call and see if...if you wanted to have a drink with me. Well, great. Gre-- Hi! I'm holding for Richard. Oh! Oh, hi! Richard. It's--it's Will Updike, the guy--W-Will Truman! Will Truman. Not Will Updike. I'm--I'm a true man, not an up...dike. Would you--could you hold for a minute? {PUTS THE PHONE ON HOLD THEN SMACKS HIS FOREHEAD WITH IT} Idiot! {ON THE PHONE} Hi. So, um, listen. You know, when I was at Borders the other day, and you thanked me, I didn't say ‘You're welcome'and I--Pardon me? {BEAT} Yes, I would like to have a drink with you. Tomorrow night would be good. Ok. I'll look forward to it, too. Bye. {HANGS UP AND GRABS HIS FOREHEAD} Ow!
GRACE (talking to WILL about her party) I mean, I can deal with the occasional bad dinner party. Awful, by the way. I blame the ghost of little kitty pee-a-lot.
Scenes Jack & Karen Have Together
