Well, the weather of the first morning was absolutely amazing! Sunny and warm. Tara was running behind, as usual.
Anyways, off we went, for a 3 day road trip... It was finally happening!
First pit stop, Petro Canada in Vaudreuil. Got some gas, some food and some stuff to drink.
Pit stop#2? Angelo's Road Stop/Diner... We all stuck to safe food, except for Kristy, who got a taste of the Ontario version of poutine. (*gag*)
I discovered, well rather someone noticed for me, that I had a burn on one side of my arm and my shoulder, because of the sun coming in to the car. Not exactly fun... it hurt like a bitch.
We finally get to the hotel, which was easy to find. Parking on the other hand... for a tourist city, it was not particularly parking friendly. Anyways, we check in, change, and then off we go to discover the wonderful city of Kingston.
First thing we did was take the Confederation Trolley Tour, which took us through all of the historical sites in Kingston, and it seriously saved us all the time of trying to find them... Unfortunately, not entirely sure of how the pictures are going to turn out, because they didn't stop so that we could take any.
After walking around a little more, we stopped in at Lonestar Cafe. We ate at their patio "Margaritaville" and that is where the fun began...
We all order large Margaritas, except for Tara. "She'll have a small one.""That's right, we answer for her now." Zorro, (you know, like The Mask OF??):"How bad is she? Slow down and just take a sip! Wait! Wait, I'll give you water." 30 minutes later, Zorro walks over to a tipsy Tara. "I am Zorro your server, are you okay?" ROFLMAO!
Kristy:"And then I ate the bowl." (She actually did eat the bowl. Or at least, most of it. She was full after her ceasar salad and chicken chunks. Which sounded a little like roadkill to me, but that;s just opinion.LOL)
Tara and the bill & Kristy's 0.02$ worth: Tara pays for her bill, making sure that Zorro took the 2 cents to give her even change. While she isn't looking, Kristy passes me 2 pennies, and I put them next to Tara. It takes her a little while to notice them (you know, in her drunken haze ;-P) and when she does, this look crosses her face. "What are these doing here? Didn't he take the 2 pennies? That's insulting!"
Later on at the hotel, apparently Tara still had Alcohol in her system. "There's no water on the floor, but I slipped." Off we went to the comedy club. Yuk Yuk's to be exact. Kristy tried this nasty nasty drink. It was a mixture of like, Vodka and Milk. How wrong is that?? Why dont' you just say, and while you're at it can I have a bucket with my drink, cause it's not going to sit well...
Some of the jokes at the club:
"When we lost the gold medal in Pairs Figure Skating, the USA backed us up. They looked at it as if someone was beating up their retarded little brother..."
The Heckler from Hell... My GOD this woman would not shut up! Johnstown this... Johnstown that... Finally, the guy who was blind in his left eye, muttered: "I wish that I was blind in my right eye, I would have a better view." And "Can we look up the words Shut and UP in the dictionary and what they mean together?" "You have to home with her. My hell ends in about 5 minutes."
"Road Schrips." "Not Road Strips?" "No, Road Schrips. Keeps you from going off the road. The little bumps will wake you up." "They don't want us to go off the road, but they don't mind if we hit each other."
"I'm a nice guy. When my friend had broken his leg and couldn't get out of his apartment, I went and got his dope for him. When I got back he asked me like 20 questions. Where is it from? I got it from my dealer. And who did he get it from? I don't know, his dealer? And where did that come from?" I think it came from the Hells Angels in Montreal. You just bought dope from a criminal organization! How could you do something like that? That's unethical. What the hell are you talking about? There is no such thing as Ethical Dope!"
Out of no where... "I like porn."
"When I was younger, my Mom got me a dwarf rabbit. And she decided that it would be cute to have little baby rabbits. We brought it to a breeding farm, but they only had regular sized rabbits. I watched as another rabbit climbed on top of my poor rabbit, nearly squishing him. The farmer said we'll keep it here for the weekend, just to make sure that it takes. Just so it takes? It was just taken 8 times.... Not long after, there were no babies, and the rabbit was pulling out tufts of fur. The vet turned over the rabbit and found the problem. You have a male rabbit. Ah, I'm so sorry little dude... If that happened to me, I would be pulling out tufts too...
LATER THAT EVENING
Two women walk by and say: "Looks like everyone's having Ice Cream." (DUH! You just passed 2 Ice Cream Parlors!) Tara: "Yeah, everybody's having Ice Cream. Everyone except you..."
Ahhh... late night conversation. "Alcohol. It'll sterilize itself. Gives it a whole new meaning to the word backwash."
Animal Tally's : 30+ Cows, some horses... (LOL... we needed something to count on the way down!)
DAY 2
Lisa entry: Well, it's 8:45 AM, and we're all up. Yes that's right, all up!
Well, we went for breakfast, if you could call it that. The place was called Symposium Cafe, and well, it looked good. In the end, Kristy and Tara switched their toast to get the order right, and Mel had whole wheat instead of white. Also, I think that they used an "I can't believe it's not butter spread or spray"... Rather nasty. Also, when we asked if we could substitute juice for the coffee, the waitress gave us a look like, why would you want to do that? OF course, there were no substitutions for any hot beverages. I could substitute tea for the coffe or a hot chocolate, but no juice! Weird... But it's not over yet! The scrambled egg patty (yes, that's right, scrambled egg patty, *shudder* No fluffy eggs for us. ) was not cooked all the way through. The bacon, well, where do we start with that? I mean... eww. I like my bacon crispy, but that's just too crispy. The only good part of that meal were the potatoes, not that you got a lot of them."
Then off we went to the flea market which was on the way back to the hotel. Mel cleaned them out of their eggs. Kristy bought raspberry soap. We lost Tara about 3 times. Then off to the hotel to get ready for the rest of the day. And then, la piece de resistance... The Hershey Chocolate Factory!! It was too bad that they weren't in production on the weekend, but let me tell you, the smell that comes out of that place!! And, the prices in the shop!!! LOL... Tara walking out with her 3 POUND bag of Reeces Pieces. We all got a free O'Henry bar with purchases. Mel picked up a really really adorable Christmas Ornament. It was a Hershey Kiss. It is too cute! Us: "I can't believe we're going home tomorrow." Tara: "My butt hurts." And the correlation is....? (I think that one daquiri was enough...)
Tara claiming that our very very hot waiter was too slow and needed to work for his tip... He was getting a tip no matter what kind of service he gave... Thus Tara developed the nick name the Pissed Off Squirrel. Hence the name of Day 2
Tara (there she goes, talking to straws again...)"You keep moving on me..."
Well, there was a little bit of a scary episode for Tara. She went into the women's washroom at Stoney's Restaurant where we were eating supper. She saw someone on the floor who popped up and said, "please don't tell... please don't tell.." The waitresses thought Tara had had a little too much to drink, and at first, I would hate to admit it, but we weren't sure what to think. But then Tara saw him again, and he was "Cleaning" the bathrooms. He was staff there. That was interesting enough. Well, then off to the most interesting part of the day. The Brass. Well, let me tell you, we all had so much fun!!!! Before I begin reciting the 6 pages of stuff, here is what we all had to drink at the Brass: Kristy: 7 (!) Smirnoff Ice, Mel: 5 Smirnoff Ice, Tara: A Molson Dry and 1/2 a Smirnoff Ice, and me: 3 Molson Canadian. (Not to mention we all had drinks with supper. Mel, Tara and I all had 1 daquiri with supper, and Kristy had 2 Margaritas)
What once were the Chronicles of the pissed off squirrel, are now the Chronicles of the Pissed Squirrel. Tara has provided hours and hours of entertainment on this vacation. Lets just say, that well, she's drunk. Again. Evidence:
Sitting next to two french guys from what appears to be Montreal. One who kept on hitting me in the arm, narrowly missing my sunburn. We (Mel and I) screamed "WOOOOOHOOO!" back when ever he did, in hopes of being bought some drinks. Alas... that did not happen. He said, Salut, Bonsoir, and left.
Tara tried, how far can you go down the bottle... Let's just say, not too far, her teeth got in the way.
Are you 4? Am I for? ARE YOU FOUR? AM I FOUR WHAT? (WE WERE SCREAMING BACK AT THIS POINT)FOUR YEARS OLD!
OH... noo...
Tara has proclaimed that she will need only black coffee for breakfast tomorrow morning. Also, she has this craving for a Tim Horton's Iced Cap.
Kristy: Why am I so drunk? Oh wait, I had tequila earlier." Or maybe it was the fact that you had polished off about 6 Smirnoff Ice by that time...
Kristy: "I am so intoxicated, I don't know whether or not I would jump you, or beat you senseless. Don't do that to me! (That was her screaming to Smitty [BTW, he is a god] because he didn't play the song she wanted him to.)
I can look! I'm not touching, but I can look!
By the 3rd round, the bartender knew Mel's drink.
"Should I pick up tonight?""Well you couldn't pick up and bring home.""Well, unless you were willing to share.""Did I mind before?""Are you going to mind the noise?""Needless to say I'll be sleeping in the hall tonight."
Whatever you do, don't break the magic seal! Don't break the seal!
So this guy named Matt sits down while Kristy and Tara are in the washroom. He's majorly hitting on Mel, who's trying desperately to throw vibes his way to say, get the hell away from her. "Where are you from?""Montreal""Oh, I went through there 2 weeks ago.. Don't remember much of it though." 2 minutes later: "So are you from Kingston?" "no... MONTREAL." "Oh yeah." "SO, where are you staying?" "Ummm... a hotel down the street." (There are like 5 of them at least.) (NOTE: Avoid contact with curly haired guys with bad breath.)
While Mel and I were fending off the guy, Kristy was obviously not trying too hard to fend of Kyle (or as we know him, the guy in the white cap) while waiting for Tara at the bathroom. Kristy got what Mel was eyeing.
Back at the hotel:
Kristy and Mel are drunk. They are so giggly it's not funny anymore. They walked home way behind me and Tara (Tara had sobered up by this point.) I suggested a Taxi, but they wanted to walk home.
"Closing the eyes... It's a bad thing."
"I changed the toilet paper, but I hit my head."
"I want ice.""Why?""Cause I'm in my bra."
"I was good. We are so good."
"I don't know why my feet are ticklish."
"I'm desobering... I mean dedrunkafying."
Insert giggling here.
Looks like sleep will be eluding us.
"He's going to be jealous cause we're both drunk and in the same bed."
"There are so many things that they aren't going to remember tomorrow."
Well, in the end, Mel was the only one who was sick, which in a way was a good thing, because, well, otherwise, she would have had one hell of a hangover the next day! There is something special about the street names in Kingston. John, Charles, William, Thomas... etc... Are we noticing a pattern? Sure, there's Princess and Queen st... but what about Elizabeth? Or something like that.... LOL
There is a difference between beer breath and bad breath. That was just bad.
Some french folk music (at least, I think that's what it was) came on the radio as we scanned for interesting radio stations. We changed it right away, and on came, "I feel so gay!" ROFLMAO!
Speaking of radio, we think that our censoring in Montreal is bad enough (cause we've never heard the word bitch before), but they put in other sounds instead of just a blur of the words. There was a dog barking, a cell phone, crickets... you name it, they put it in there... Isn't that special? (Insert sarcasm here).
We ate lucnch at Nickels, which was a rare treat, cause we don't have very many left here in Montreal. The one downtown and I think the one up north is still open.
Arriving home at 3:30 PM was ideal. Just missed all of the traffic.
Day 3 was not nearly as eventful... Actually, it was kind of quiet. Tara fell asleep. But that's okay, everyone was tired.
Other tally's. Right on Red's for Lisa: 2
Roadkill... Too many to count. We passed some like, every 2-5 minutes, at least, so it seemed. And if there wasn't any roadkill, the bloodstains were still there... *shudder at the thought* Didn't hit any, so it's all good...
And, that unfortunately concludes the trip... LOL, was this long enough? ;-P
"You got to spill your drink, why can't I?"
"You got to wipe up your drink, why can't I?"
While in the washroom:"I wanna brush my hair.... I wanna brush my hair...But it's fine But I wanna!" & "My hands are clean, my hands are clean." "I can't believe it. I am so drunk and I can still squat."