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Charity Bazaar

Charity Bazaar

Charity Bazaar, soaking up the shade at the beach

Voiced by: Laraine Newman
Catchphrase: "I'm not happy."

It's anyone's guess as to why this bright-eyed youngster spends so much time navel-gazing. Though most likely the female lead of the Kid Chorus, just barely beating out Aka Pella in terms of screen-time, and despite being a very adorable young lady, Charity doesn't have a large role in the show other than lending her voice to song and interjecting a loose factual tidbit into the sketches. Heck, she doesn't even have her own jingle. Though usually seen dressed in snug-fitting white t-shirts, blue shorts, and sneakers, she spends more time than any other Kid Chorus member in her historical costume, consisting of a typical American Pilgrim dress complete with a hood, a white collar and cuffs, and a red bowtie. Her voice fluctuates greatly, alternating among a Daria Morgendorfer-like drone, a trembling, rather nasal warble that sounds as if she's on the brink of tears, and a polite girlish whisper. Her typical facial expression involves half-closed eyes and an emotionless frown.

Some of her best roles on the show have been as a Puritan child who accused her teacher of witchcraft (don't ever make Charity do too much math homework), a narrator to the history of Poland, overseeing the building of the Panama canal, discussing the discovery of and barrel-riding down Niagra Falls, and making sure Pepper Mills didn't obsess too much over details in the sketch "Strange Coincidences". She's able to watch a beheading without flinching ("that's gotta hurt" is the only reaction we get from Bazaar), and can't stand the song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". And if we're to believe the sketch "My Buddy Stalin", she's adopted. Maybe that's what's at the root of her moodswings.

While Charity most likely started out as a minor joke about depression and the mood and mindset of generation-X, she began to develop, thanks in part to the amazing voice Newman provided, into a character so unusual and complex one wishes we could see her in her own series.