You Know You Watch Too Much Buffy the Vampire Slayer When...........
....you don’t invite strangers in because you’re convinced they’re a vampire and they’ll turn evil after a few months.
....you always carry a stake, a cross and some holy water, even in the daytime.
....a new girl arrives in school, clad in short skirts, little t-shirts and knee high boots and you make friends immediately....
....but don’t go to a club on her first night in town.
....you’re suspicious of people called Angel, Spike or Drusilla....
....and anyone with a dodgy cockney accent…
....and anyone with a ‘The’ in front of their name.
....you slide out of your window and go hang around the graveyard. Every night.
....you see a rat wandering around and start calling ‘Buffy…here Buffy…’
....you run a mile when the new librarian gives you a knowing look and rummages around behind the counter.
....you won’t open your locker in case a dead body falls out.
....you try out for the cheerleading squad but keep a bucket of water handy in case one of them bursts into flames.
....you make yourself a button that says ‘I’m a slayer, ask me how’.
....you refuse point blank to go on the annual school trip to the zoo. Even if there aren’t any hyenas there.
....your boyfriend tells you that he can’t go out today and you automatically run away screaming ‘Ahh! Vampire!’
....your best friend meets a guy over the internet and no one’s ever seen him.
....you take part in the school talent show and one of the ventriloquist dummies chases you around trying to kill you.
....a little boy starts invading your dreams.
....you get nominated for May Queen and insist on SAS guards, all day every day.
....you make sure your boyfriend can breathe in case you’ll ever need resuscitating.
....you make sure that your prom dress has a secret pocket where you can hide your trusty stake.
....all of your friends buy Hallowe’en costumes from the cool new shop in town and you still have to get yours from the shop you always use.
....an old friend knows way too much about vampires.
....you see your librarian has a tattoo and ask him, with a knowing look, if he ever belonged to a ‘Club’ in University.
....your new IT teacher has an unhealthy interest in your love life.
....you fight anyone with a cool accent who says that she’s also ‘a vampire slayer’.
....your mum’s new boyfriend makes cookies that make your friends go all weird.
....you stay in on a full moon night and the nights before and after it because you’re feeling kinda itchy.
....you suddenly find yourself helplessly in love with your best guy friend.
....you have an egg for breakfast and you start to see it move.
....you make your ex-boyfriend draw you while you’re asleep.
....you ask to stay in hospital, even though you’re better.
....your best friend shows you a map and you ask if it's a printout of the underground sewage system.
....you wander through the school library looking for books on vampires, demon, sucubi and incubi.
....you insist that your friends call you ‘The Chosen One’.
....you just HAVE to have a car with blacked-out windows.