Beginning Inside Communication
Communication with one’s alters is essential. If there is no communication, there is no relationship among alters and the isolation can lead to rebellious or maladaptive behavior from one or more alters. A mutual respect can be established if the host learns to respect the rights of their alters and the alters begin to respect the rights of their host.
First, create opportunities to demonstrate trust and love to alters.
Communication will be easier in an atmosphere of trust and love. An important part of communication is patiently listening to what your alters want to say to you.
Remember, they took the pain for you when you needed them. If you do not listen to them, they may feel like clamming up, hiding, or they may get angry and rebellious.
Tell your alters that you are the host,and the main body. Share with them that it is your house they live in and that you are the head of the household; you are in charge. Communicate that there are priorities as well as boundaries. With love and communication as priorities, appropriate and beneficial boundaries can be set.
Encourage alters in their talents. Let them know that you are proud of them and their gifts and you want them to learn more and to get an education in their area of interest, if that's what they would like to do.
Be available to them. Make time for your alters, choosing times when you (the host) are free, and you can help or support the alter to develop his/her talent. Instruct them to ask the host if it is convenient and acceptable for him/her to come out. Sometimes the host may not be available due to stress or fatigue.
Sometimes alters come out to help you without your permission. Yes, I said to help. You're wondering how that could be? Well, with the right loving communication, alters will not be "just alters" but a family inside you.
They will help provide order and enjoyment, rather than the clamoring havoc inside you.
Some alters like to have responsibilities which give them the opportunity to be creative in constructive and adaptive ways. Delegate tasks which you think are appropriate and would be constructive for them.
As alters learn that you love and appreciate them, they will choose to listen to you and observe you. For example, the attitudes and behaviors you model for them will show them how you would like them to live. This will reduce maladaptive behavior born out of fear or pain and increase adaptive interaction, thus benefiting the entire household.
Author Unknown
Background by Neh'ada
