Stupid Quotes Page
This page is used to exploit the foolishness or insanity of a number of people at Easthamptead Park School. I've been on holiday in Mexico for a while so enjoy the Mexican influences- they wear silly hats. Enjoy the quotes compiled and make sure you taunt those who have said stupid things. Please E-mail me with more quotes as I need more, much much more.
The
Crazy Quotes
School is really quiet on a Saturday' - James B
'Its
only a month till Christmas?' - Scott R (said on the 19th Sept)
'Our clothes slowed us down' - Steve S (offering a reason why their geog work failed)
'Christians think that casual sex is fine' - (This one isn't so bad, this is what I thought in my RE essay)
'There's nothing wrong with a little child porn' - Steve S (again)
'I Love Math's' - Rob H (foolish talk)
'You were waving quite quickly with your foot' - Scott R (no its actually called a hand)
'Wow I have to get one of these, OH NO! I thought it was a vest' - Lewis M (after picking up a bra in topshop)
'Spread yourselves out guys we're doing a test' - Mrs. Jenkins P (said when in tiny and already cramped room 6)
'Wow James, you've grown 56 feet' - Mrs. Reed (I think I know what she meant when she said this to James)
'Why are those windows tinted?' - Mike K (have you ever heard of condensation?)
'I don't live in a shanty town' - Mike K (quiet favela boy you live in Great Holland's)
'ALAN' - Lloydy (said in a deep voice when reading serious play)
'I'm going to be a wrestler' - Steve A (yep sure you will)
'You can kill 20 people, but if you learn from it, its ok' - Me again (there is some logic behind this one)
'It feels like I'm having a baby' - Lewis M (he was eating Indian)
'I'm so cool, I dropped Media Studies' - James T (yes of course)
'Get your fat head out of my hat' - Gordo (he says it to everyone)
'I enjoyed myself' - Lloydy (the day after he was escorted home by policeman)
'Have a max relax attack' - The phrase from Littlehampton
'He committed suicide just before we were about to get on the train' - Ben J (life's so unfair Ben)
'It looks good for a year seven' - Mike K (stupid quote insulting my painting)
'Lets go to town, get laid' - famous quote from drunken rampages
'Your going to do this BBQ on your own boys' - Lloydy's mum (she actually did everything for us)
'Have some lemonade Mike, you know you want some' - Me (offering him some NON-alcoholic drink)
'What's your name Sarah?' - Mrs. Bent (in English lesson)
'No really its fine. I'll go home in the dark, all on my own and probably get raped' - Dave B (Playing his damn guilt trip)
'I'll Deny' - Scott R (after his mum drove past Mike F and crew on their way home, offering them a lift) courtesy of MikeF
'Lets make them mate' - Mike K (regarding two year seven males) courtesy of Rob H
'Well you guessed it, yes I am gay, so what? go lick a turnip' - Ben J? (taken from KIA's forum under Ben's name of Mr. bench)
'Who'd put a bench in a river?' - Steven S (said when watching a geog video on flooding)
'I've been in that house' - Mike K (said seriously after seeing a random picture)
'I want to move back to London because Bracknell's too urban' - Mike F (I can't see your logic Mike) courtesy of Mike K
'I'd pay £25 pounds for that' - Mike K and James T (regarding a thin council planning booklet)
'Surely fiction is the same as fact' - (muttered in an AS-LEVEL English lesson)
'They must have been bumming each other' - Scott R (when finding that the attendance of two pupils were both 78%, unusually witty so good stuff) courtesy of Lewis M
'Its the same thing' - Gemma N (about ANGLES and ANGELS, they are different you silly girl) courtesy of Lewis M
Michael fearon says: if i walked into a pink room I'd be sick, Louise says: what's that got to do with the price of fish? courtesy of Mike F
'Its in their job description' - Lloydy (on the topic of stalking teachers after following Mr. Murray around sainsbury's)
'I saw you in the car and I wondered why you were naked' - Scott R (I was actually wearing a yellow T-shirt you colour blind fool!)
'I like to serve myself' - Lloydy (after the impatient incident in Boots where he actually lent over and snatched the receipt from the printer himself)
'I wondered why I had a sore nose this morning' - Lloydy (after his cigar exploits at the party)
'... important for several bid owners penis' - an embarrassed Ms Vokes (said in a history lesson- meant to be pieces instead of that filth) courtesy of Mike F
'I still don't know how men and women have sex' - Nick Savides (don't ask me how he got the word sex when he was meant to say monkeys) don't ask me why he'd say monkeys either!) courtesy of Mike F
Nicci says: 'I can't taste pomegranate' Mike K responds: 'that's because you have the mouth of a camel' courtesy of Mike F
'Its a god send' - Mike F (talking of hair conditioner in Coral Reef)
'So why if you've written ten more books than J.K Rowling, is she a multi-millionaire and you look like you buy your clothes from Oxfam' - Rob H (a question he wanted to ask some crazy writer woman who visited the school)
'You have to keep them in line' - Gordo (the woman beater)
'Your a mini-Hitler Gordon' - Lloydy (almost a fair quote considering the one above)
'They don't have feet, they use their wings to get around' - Lewis M (talking about swans and he still believes this as well!)
'I wouldn't be traumatized by rape' - Umm me (of course this isn't really what I really think)
'Breakfasts the most important meal of the day, along with the five other meals I eat' - Steve S (doing very well on his new diet)
'Wales is a nice place to live' - Rachel D (no comment on this one)
'Just one more go' - Me, Lewis and Lloydy (after spending 6 quid on 'The Weakest Link arcade game- damn that ginger woman)
'IT WILL LIVE' - Lloydy (there's obviously still hope for that plant in the study room)
'Okay I won't have a kebab, I guess I'll have to settle for a burger' - Me (giving up meat for lent is tough- I forgot that a burger was meat)
'Guys want to rape/moderately abuse their mothers and kill their fathers' - Fraud (that twisted old man that came up with theories like this- its alright though because he's dead now)
'It looks so much more natural when you do it though' - Proudly Me (a girl at work was cleaning the surface)
'I will kick your arse' - Paul (about our football contest- he has as much talent as a limbless leprechaun)
'FACE LAW' - (Insane scrawling on study room wall)
'Why the hell did you buy a Justin Timberlake calendars?' - Mike K (You obviously haven't seen his sexy body mike)
'That was funny' - Ben J (in response to his dog biting off my arm)
'BONUS' - Rob H (you can use this word for everything- and he does)
'I hid it under my bed' - Lloydy (talking about his mums birthday present- a large blackberry plant)
'It was an accident' - Ben J (after slamming the door in my face-your forgiven)
'I'm not being a woman' - ME (when choosing Hamlet characters, why should I lower myself...JOKIN!)
'You could get Aids' - Lewis M (After I was bleeding- see above)
'We get out nylon from nylon sheep' - Mike K (Don't mind him, he's still learning the alphabet)
'God wants to see us first' - Rob H (giving reason as to why men live shorter lives than the other sex)
'How do you know that its a library?' - James D (the building had the huge writing LIBRARY on the side)
'I'm very friendly with the milkman' - Me (he's a very nice guy)
'Can you get pregnant at the same time as already being pregnant?' - Gordo (Not understanding his logic for this one) courtesy of Gemma N
'I'm going to learn to drive in a field where you can't crash into anything' - Heather R (what about the edges of the field) courtesy of Gemma N
:'You have to poke the tofu' - Vikki B (God only knows!) courtesy of Mike F
:'If I wasn't on a mixture of drugs and alcohol I'd kick your ass' - Mike F (I guess that's the downside of the drugs and alcohol combo)
'He can't make up his fucking mind!' - Me (When in his drunken state, Lloydy said take me home, then no you can't make me, then yeah, then no- ahhhhh!)
'I didn't pee myself' - Lloydy (consider above- we did find what looked like evidence before he ran to toilet)
'The answer is 1.96!' - Scott R (after 'solving' a math's question which said show its 1.96)
'Give me your G-string Sarah' - Mike K (Ha you weren't getting away with this one you filthy boy)
'Its used for making pencils' - Jimmy A (apparently pencils are made from granite!)
'HOMO-CIDE' - Craig R (about death of gay guy in the play 'Streetcar')
'If you have any problems with your parachute, just come back and get another one' - Pilot Guy/Helper (said just before flight- evil bugger) courtesy of Steve S
'Yeah, have a book' - Lloydy (after James the monk asked for a donation after quickly handing Lloydy the very same book)
'You guys should get together and do some of the chants in the book' - James the Monk from London (he was being deadly serious too- I would say Monks were funny but that would be unfair)
'We're safe here' - Me (after looking for a discrete wine-drinking location on the Hamlet trip, there was a sign against the wall saying security camera's!'
'I'm not playing with you' - Me which provoked a strange man in shop to say 'Save that for later' (meant to say I'm not paying for you but a little tipsy- see above!)
'I used ferns' - Steve S (he improvised while needing the toilet in woods)
CLIP OF THE MONTH
To set off some top footage- simply hover your pointer over the frame.
The winner of this months competition goes to this video displaying Homer because its a nice clip, it has nothing to do with the fact that I had no others.
LINKS
http://kiaband.tripod.com The site for the amazing (cough) band of KIA
