AUTHOR: Matt, March 2003
SUMMARY: Jack has a shock awaiting him when he finally takes a look at a morale boosting publication.
RATING: PG13
STATUS: Complete, humour (?)
SEASON/SPOILERS: 7/none, unless it’s the big one ;)
ARCHIVE: SJD, yes
FEEDBACK: to matteabrit@hotmail.com or AZSJFan@gateworld.net
DISCLAIMERS: The characters portrayed here are the property of MGM, Gekko et al. The fic, however, is the warped idea of my mind.
NOTE: I like to get inspiration from music. This is what happened when I heard the J.Geils band on the radio one day last week.
THANKS: To SaRa for the readthrough. She’s never seen an ep of SG1, but she’s my star. And to Jo’Siris, who sat with me, albeit online, and hashed through several things for me.
There was no doubt about it; Carter was enjoying herself and Jack had absolutely no idea why. Since beginning their walk from the commissary to the briefing room there had been four wolf-whistles, three spontaneous rounds of applause and two impudent SFs making comments along the lines of, “Nice one, Major.” She had acknowledged them all, grinning, waving and even bowing at all those who acknowledged her. Jack couldn’t believe it; he was her superior officer, for crying out loud. Had everyone failed to notice that he was right there at her side?
He was relieved when they made it to the briefing room, but even Teal’c and General Hammond seemed to have slight smiles on their faces. Daniel and Major Davis also appeared to have other things on their minds. Everyone quickly settled down to business however, and for the next hour, Jack was able to forget the mysterious behaviour he had witnessed earlier. After Daniel discussed a new artefact and Davis went over some diplomatic stuff the meeting closed and people began leaving for their individual tasks.
Jack knew what his day was going to consist of - paperwork. Not just SG1 stuff either; lately it seemed his Special Ops expertise was being called upon more and more. He was just switching into report mode when his ears caught an exchange at the door.
“Nice going, Major.”
“Thank you, Major.”
Jack looked up just in time to see his second flash the Pentagon liaison one of her beautiful smiles. Seconds later she had left, presumably for her lab. He turned back to face Daniel, who was still gathering his papers. “What’s going on?” he asked in confusion.
“What do you mean, Jack?” The archaeologist regarded him briefly before returning his attention to the portfolio on the table in front of him.
“I mean, what’s with the looks and the comments Carter’s getting?” It really riled Jack not to know what was going on, especially where his second in command was concerned.
“Oh, that.” Daniel appeared satisfied at last with his papers, placing them into the binder. “Well, you’ve got to admit it’s quite something. Takes a lot of courage to do what she did.” He began walking to the door. “I’m sure it will die in a couple of days and Sam’s not exactly the type to let it go to her head.” He smiled and pushed his glasses back up his nose. “I have to see Jonas about this text. I’ll see you later.”
Jack was left by himself in the room. He felt very confused and completely alone.
Somehow, Jack managed to endure the rest of the day. He didn’t venture much out of his office, but when he did everyone he met automatically assumed he knew what Carter had done; he even had a couple of team leaders telling him they wished she was on their team. These remarks were usually followed by a line about it being just as well that she wasn’t due to the regs. Jack laughed, commented that it was difficult, but that he was ultimately proud of her. He’d finally decided on that comment when he came to the conclusion that whatever Carter had done it was evidently good.
Paperwork at last completed for the day he decided to check his email one last time before meeting Teal’c in the commissary for dinner. A number of messages had come in throughout the day, mostly administration issues although there were a couple of personal ones regarding various reports and follow-ups. He marked those unread, deciding to deal with them in the morning. The final email he nearly deleted only to see it open when he realised he’d hit the wrong button. It was from Davis to everyone on the base, reminding them that IT was HERE; ‘a chance to see the military’s brightest and best.’
It took Jack a moment to figure out what IT actually was before remembering. Someone in Washington had decided that a great morale booster for deployed troops would be a publication of several military women photographed in the buff. He hadn’t cared much for the idea, feeling that it was somehow demeaning. Many of the military women he knew had fought hard to get where they were. Still, it had been a voluntary thing and if it boosted morale then he had to agree with it. He remembered only too well from his time in the Gulf region how much of a struggle it had been to keep spirits high at times.
Teal’c had already secured a table when Jack arrived in the commissary. Quickly filling a tray with various items he joined him, raising his eyebrow when he saw what his friend was reading. “T, you dirty dog,” he crowed.
The Jaffa smiled and closed the magazine. “Have you not read it, O’Neill?” he asked as he pushed it across the table.
Jack shook his head. “Nah, it’s not really my idea of a good read.”
“I would suggest you make an exception this time.”
Jack was surprised by his companion’s words. Curious, he glanced down at the cover, idly scanning through the various captions while trying not to look too hard at the scantily clad female who was clutching her lacy-bra covered breasts and pouting.
It Might Be Cold in Colorado, But This Astrophysicist Will Warm You Up.’
Jack’s heart jolted and his stomach turned a distinct three sixty as he hastily flipped through the pages. Please don’t let it be he prayed to whichever deity must be listening. Please don’t let it be.
But it was, and suddenly all the looks and all the comments sickeningly made sense.
“It is indeed a shame about the staples,” Teal’c commented.
Jack gulped, unable to draw his eyes away from the centrefold. There was no doubt about it, no mistaking her for anyone else.
‘Major Sam Carter, USAF, is brains and brawn. This blond beauty is not only a leading mind in the world of astrophysics; she’s also seen plenty of field action. Currently stationed in Colorado and involved in a project involving deep space radar telemetry, Major Carter logged in over 100 hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War.’
It was tastefully done, he had to admit. She was holding a United States flag in front of her, effectively covering everything from the swell of her breasts to the top of her thighs. So much revealed and yet so much hidden at the same time. Her face was softly made up, her hair teased into a style he had never seen on her before. And her skin, oh dear god, her creamy skin. His eyes began to drift slowly down her legs.
“Hey guys.” A heavily laden tray crashed down onto the table and Jonas sat down. “Oh, is that the thing Sam’s in?”
“Er, no, yes.”
“You are correct.”
Jonas picked up a carrot stick and began munching. “She looks really good, don’t you think.” He gestured towards the spread with the vegetable and Jack instinctively moved the magazine out of reach. “It’s great that she got to be centrefold. She beat out all those other women, not that I’m surprised though. She’s a great looking woman.”
“She is indeed, JonasQuinn.” Teal’c’s comment made Jack almost want to cry. Was he the only one condemned by regs to not being able to agree with the statement when he’d thought it for so long?
It was all too much for him. Hastily jumping up he bade his two companions goodbye, muttering a lame excuse about something coming up. He strode away from the table only to realise that he’d left the magazine there, with the likes of Jonas Quinn able to freely ogle at it. Quickly, Jack returned and snatched the publication out of the younger man’s grasp.
Realising there was no way he was going to be able to drive home in his current state he made his way back to his quarters. Maintaining a sense of calm was difficult but not impossible, although he was severely tested each time someone stopped him to comment on Carter. Sighing with relief when he got to his destination, he locked the door behind him and flung the magazine onto the bed. It fell open at the centrefold and he groaned as her blue eyes gazed up at him.
No doubt about it; he was never going to be able to look at Carter the same way ever again.
FINIS