Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, etc. I just love borrowing their characters for short periods.

Note: When watching "Bride of Chaotica" for the first time, I found myself very much wanting to see Chakotay get a look at his Captain’s smashing performance as Queen Arachnia (and especially see her eye-popping get-up!) Unfortunately, no such scene was written for the episode. The following is a short story based on what I think would've happened if Chakotay'd seen Kathryn looking the way she was.

The Captain smiled, waving off her helmsman and ops officer, giving them leave to vacate the simulation. The doors opened and closed, and then Kathryn was alone. She instantly burst out laughing; her sides shook heavily and became sore from the effort. Then as soon as her giggles began to quell, she snorted involuntarily. Her decidedly unrefined noise just caused her to titter once again, and soon she was on the floor, rolling around without the slightest bit of control over her actions. Her feelings about the complete and utter ridiculousness of her appearance and performance as Arachnia were just too strong to keep bottled-up inside. She was overcome with the absurdity of it all, and didn’t regain a semblance of calm until ten minutes later.

Wiping the tears from her eyes and cheeks, the red-faced captain let out a deep breath as she got to her feet. She resolved to pull herself completely together, and with her superhuman will of steel, she did. But now, she realized she had a major dilemma on her hands.

The problem was this: Kathryn was still on duty, and she was needed on the bridge to hear all status reports so they could continue on their journey. But first she had to get back to her quarters and change so she could look respectable in front of her crew. To get there, she had two options, neither of which she liked very much. Inwardly she debated, "Should I order a site-to-site transport to my quarters, attracting speculation from my crew about why I need to be transported? Or… should I just walk to my quarters through the halls, and be laughed at anyway?’ She sighed heavily. Not an easy decision.

Tick tock tick tock. Time slowly crawled by, kept track of by the incessant chronometer in her head. Kathryn clucked her tongue, admonishing herself. ‘You’re not getting any younger, Captain. Make a decision.’

She sighed once again, pride forcing her to commit to the least desirable choice. ‘Oh, what the hell. I am supposed to be the respected and feared captain. If I can’t walk through the corridors of my own ship, then who can? I’ll just hold my chin up—and walk very, very fast.’

Giving a quick, affirming nod to her choice, the captain strode calmly and briskly out of the holodeck and into the hallway. Glancing furtively around and seeing no one, she grinned. She walked straight into the turbolift and ordered it to proceed to her destination. Since it was alpha shift, she knew no one would be on the deck where the captain’s quarters were. She was so relieved at the fact, she didn’t look where she was going when the turbolift doors opened. The result was Captain Janeway striding directly into a solid, broad, warm wall. Or, more accurately, a very male chest. It was, she realized quickly, her first officer Chakotay.

"Captain?" Chakotay inquired bemusedly. "You really should watch where you’re going. You might get hurt if you walk into people who are bigger than you are."

Kathryn glanced up at the commander’s face, her cheeks tinged with pink. "I’m sorry, Chakotay. I didn’t see you. I—"

"What, Kathryn? Your state of dress distracting you?" Chakotay grinned, not bothering to conceal the path of his wandering gaze as it traveled up and down her body.

Her blush turned a deeper shade of red. ‘Of all the people to see me this way, it had to be Chakotay!’ she thought embarrassingly. ‘Of course it did. The fates never liked me much, anyway. Then again…’ her mind quelled its complaints as she noticed the growing bulge in the first officer’s pants.

"Commander… you are dismissed," Kathryn stated with a hoarse voice.

"Kathryn, I was only joking!" the commander protested in vain.

"NOW, Commander."

"Yes, ma’am," Chakotay mumbled, escaping into the lift.

Kathryn shook her head, thoroughly satisfied. ‘Now that’s the way a first officer should conduct himself toward his captain,’ she resolved happily. ‘Strict compliance and unconcealed arousal are definite positives in one holding his position. When we get back to Earth, I’ll submit it to become an official part of the protocol guideline list. Yes, I like that idea very much…’

Smirking the way only she could, Kathryn stilled her musings and saucily walked away.