Another Chakotay Story

By Helen J. Lake

 

            “I’m horny,” Chakotay said suddenly. Luckily, there was no one in the Mess hall when he said it, avoiding any embarrassment.

            “Wait a minute!” Chakotay protested. “Why isn’t there anyone in the Mess hall? Who’s writing this thing? And please tell me this isn’t one of those sex-filled fanfic stories!”

 

            I didn’t tell you to say that, Commander.

            “I know you didn’t tell me to say that,” he retorted. “But I don’t have to say everything you want me to.”

            What’s that supposed to mean?

            “Hmm,” he replied, avoiding the question. “Who is this?”

            You know full well who it is.

            “Ah,” he said. “Helen again.”

            Yes.

            “Well, at least I know what to expect.”

            What do you expect?

            “Chakotay gets the girl, saves the day, and everyone learns something about him.”

            Is that how it always ends up with me?

            “Yeah,” he admitted. “You haven’t written anything very different from that.”

            Wait, I haven’t had the chance to write anything yet. You keep interrupting.

            “Oh, well, excuse me!” He paused. “What do I get to do in this one?”

            Give me a minute…How about this: Chakotay gets into a situation that no one could possibly get out of, but he manages to because he has a pocket knife and a piece of bubble gum.

            Chakotay considered this a moment. “You watched a lot of MacGyver as a child, didn’t you?”

            Shut up. Let me think.

            Chakotay sat back in the chair and started tapping his fingers on the table. He sighed loudly.

            Wait, I got it. Try this one…

           

            Chakotay ran down the corridor as a panel exploded on the bulkhead. He cursed and skid around a corner, barely missing a wounded crewman. Steadying him quickly, the rugged Commander ran into Astrometrics. Seven of Nine’s body was crushed beneath a pile of panels and support beams. Chakotay ran up and started tugging at the mess.

            “Commander,” Seven’s weak voice wafted up from the beneath the metal. “It is no use. I am dying.”

            “Don’t say that!” he screamed. “I can get you out! The Doctor can fix you!”

            But it was too late. The ex-Borg gave one last sigh and slipped away from life.

            “Noooooooooooo!” Chakotay cried, tears of anger running down his face.

 

            There. What do you think?

            “I think you don’t like that the writers threw us together at the last minute,” he replied. He stood and wiped his dirty hands on his pants. Glancing down at the now-dead drone, he sighed. “Did you really have to kill her?”

            Well, that’s the thing. I can always bring her back.

            Seven suddenly appeared next to Chakotay, alive and intact. She looked at her body and glanced around in confusion.

            And I can send her away.

            Seven disappeared and Chakotay put his hands on his hips.

            The writer can control that kind of thing.

            “Yeah, well, so can Q,” Chakotay retorted.

            Don’t tempt me to bring him into it. Hmmm…there’s an idea.

 

            “You rang, mon ami?” a voice called. There was a flash of light and a middle-aged man appeared. He wore a Starfleet Admiral’s uniform and the smug expression often associated with the Q Continuum.

            “I resent that, Helen,” Q said, looking upward as if addressing someone unseen.

            Work with me here, Q-tie.

            “All right,” he accepted. “This could be fun.” He clapped and rubbed his hands together. “What do I get to do to Chuckles?”

            I was thinking something new and shocking—you calling him by his actual name.

            “Ha ha, so droll,” he said, pursing his lips in annoyance. “Fine. What do I get to do to Chakotay? Happy?”

            This wasn’t a good idea. I’ll use you in a story some other time. Go away.

            There was another flash of light and Q disappeared.

 

            Okay. Let’s see what we can do here, Chakotay.

            “I thought you’d forgotten me for a minute there.” Chakotay asked. “What now?”

            I don’t know. Do you have any ideas?

            “Well, I don’t propose myself to be a writer,” he said slowly. “But I like action sequences.”

            Okay. I can work with that.

           

            Chakotay was running through a field, firing a phaser over his shoulder. His pursuers ducked and yelled wordlessly. Seeing a small cave entrance, Chakotay ducked into it, turning around to aim the phaser at them.

            “Where did he go?” one of them said. They were of an indistinct humanoid race, one that Voyager hadn’t encountered before.

            “I don’t see a trail past this point,” the tallest alien stopped right in front of Chakotay’s hiding place. “He must be nearby.”

            “Wait, hold it!” Chakotay yelled. The aliens whipped around and fired into the cave. Chakotay squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for the blast. When none hit, he opened his eyes to see the energy blast inches from his chest, frozen.

 

            What is it now?

            “This isn’t right,” he said. “I meant something more involved than running and hiding…”

            Running and hiding is part of an action sequence. You wanted action.

            “Yes, but…”

            Not enough action? You want some hand to hand combat?

 

            Chakotay lunged as his opponent threw a punch. He saw an opening and kicked the other man’s stomach. He went down and Chakotay stood over him, taking a breath. Another man jumped on his back and Chakotay whirled around, trying to dislodge him. Chakotay pried at his hands and finally peeled a hand off. The other hand was squeezing into his windpipe and he gasped for air.

            Too much?

            Chakotay nodded fiercely and his head connected into his opponent’s face. He dropped Chakotay and fell back. Chakotay fell to his knees, rubbing his throat.

            “That’s not fair,” he croaked.

 

            You were criticizing everything I did with you. Don’t be so picky and let me have some fun.

            “Fine,” he said wearily.

            Good. Now, let’s see what I’ve got.

 

            Chakotay walked into the captain’s ready room and waited for her to take notice. She looked up from the PADD she was using and offered him a smile. He smiled back and sank into the chair across from her desk.

            “Coffee?” she asked, going to the replicator.

            “No, none for me, thanks,” he replied. He watched her, wondering why he was in the office and what he was expected to do. Suddenly an alarm klaxon went off.

            “Red Alert, Captain to the bridge!” Tuvok’s voice called over the intercom.

            Janeway and Chakotay ran to the bridge and stared at the screen. There were several Borg ships dropping out of warp.

            “Report,” Chakotay hollered as he stood beside Janeway in the middle of the bridge.

            “Five Borg cubes appeared and demanded to speak to Captain Janeway,” Tuvok provided.

            “On screen,” Janeway replied, after glancing at Chakotay. The Borg Queen appeared and offered them a small, evil smile.

            “Her again?” Chakotay said under his breath. The screen froze and Chakotay looked up.

 

            You’re starting to annoy me, hon. What’s wrong with this scenario?

            “We defeated the Borg Queen already. In the finale.”

            I know that. But with writing, we can go back in time and do other stories.

            “How far can we go back?” Chakotay had a thoughtful expression on his face.

            As far back as I want.

            “To before Voyager?”

            You mean before the Caretaker and all that? Well, of course. Try this one.

 

            Chakotay sat on the side of a pond, his legs dangling in the cool water. The sky was blue up above and there were no clouds in sight. He took a slow deep breath and looked around.

            “I remember this place,” he said slowly. “This was my childhood home on Earth.”

            “Chakotay!” a distant voice called.

            “Mother!” Chakotay scrambled to his feet and started to jog towards the voice. He had gone many yards before he suddenly realized how short he seemed. He stopped and took a look at himself. His body was skinny and he couldn’t feel any of the muscles he had gained over the years. He touched his forehead, knowing the tattoo wouldn’t be there.

            “This is a bit farther back than I meant, Helen!”

 

            Picky, picky. Would you like to go back to Starfleet Academy? Or maybe to the Maquis?

            “Yes, the Maquis, that could be entertaining.”

            Okay, I’m willing to give it a go.

 

            Chakotay slammed into the bulkhead as he made his way to the small bridge on his ship, the Liberty. Someone was firing on them. Again. He briefly wondered who it was, but by then he’d reached the bridge.

            “Report!” he called, feeling a strange sense of déja vu.

            “Looks like the Cardassians found our hiding place, Chakotay!” B’Elanna called from her station. She held on with both hands to keep from being thrown from her seat. “Those repairs will have to wait.”

            “How many are there?”

            “Just one,” Tuvok replied. Chakotay nodded at him and turned to stare at the screen. A small ship flew past, firing at them again.

            “Let’s get out of here!” Chakotay dropped into the pilot’s chair and started pressing buttons. “Tuvok, give me a damage report!”

            “Our left engine has some minor damage,” Tuvok began. He barely shifted in his seat as they were rocked again. “They seem to be firing blindly. They know where we are, but their targeting scanners are apparently not functioning.”

            “Now, why would they risk going after us if they aren’t up to par?” Chakotay mused aloud as he flew them in dizzying circles.

            “My scans show…something strange,” B’Elanna called.

            “You’re going to need to be a little more specific!”

            “I’m getting lifesigns from the ship, but they aren’t Cardassian!”

            Chakotay took a moment to look at Tuvok. The dark Vulcan raised an eyebrow at him—a shrug.

            “What are they?”

            “I’m reading humans…” She paused and pressed several buttons. “Commander, they must be Maquis! Why are they firing on us?”

            “Don’t assume they’re Maquis,” Chakotay admonished. “Hail them.”

            “They’re replying.”

            “That was fast,” Chakotay mumbled. He looked up at the screen. “This is Chakotay, Captain of the Liberty. Why are you firing on us?”

            An image of a woman appeared on the screen. She had red hair, short and styled, and a bright smile. She was obviously human.

            “This is Jo Momma of the ship, Gutterbabes,” she said. “We’re here for Chakotay.”

            “Not me,” a voice piped up from the background. “I don’t care for Chakotay. I want the guy from Kiss Me a Killer…”

            “Shut up, Momma #1 is talking!”

            Chakotay exchanged a glance with his crew. “What do you want with me?”

            Jo grinned. “Oh, where to begin!” She looked him up and down and her smile widened. Chakotay twitched, almost feeling the sexual prowess through space.

            “Why are you firing on us?”

            “Oh, that.” She gestured at something offscreen. “Someone’s bright idea to draw you out of hiding.”

            “Can you stop then?”

            “Stop firing on him, Cattis!” Jo yelled. “I know you’re into pain, but this is overkill!”

            “Sorry, Jo!”

            “Now then,” Jo turned back to him. “Where were we?”

            Chakotay glanced around as the ship stopped shaking. “You were about to tell me why the hell you are looking for me.”

            “Ah, yes,” she said, lounging back into her seat. “We’re here to take you away from all this. To take good care of you. Very good care.”

            Chakotay swallowed. His throat felt like it was trying to close up on him.

            “Allow me to introduce everyone,” Jo continued. The view on the screen panned out until at least a dozen women were shown. For the first time, Chakotay noticed they were all wearing revealing clothes with some kind of sash. He squinted and saw that each sash said something different.

            “This is Momma #2, Louise,” Jo said. This woman was blonde, and her sash said “sweet and innocent”. Somehow, by the look in her eye, he doubted that. “Over here we have Cattis, Widgit, Rene…over there is Sannie, Doti, and Brat. Behind me is Jannie, Jill, Puffins, Suzy, and Jelayne.” A brunette standing off to the side cleared her throat and stepped forward. Jo grinned at her and said, “And of course, our resident Virgin, Helen.”

            “Did she just say virgin?” B’Elanna asked incredulously. “What kind of ship is this?”

            “We’re what’s known as a Yahoo ship,” Jo explained. “Because once we get you on here, you yell ‘yahoo’!”

            The women all laughed and leered at the screen. Chakotay frowned and looked to Tuvok. The Vulcan had his eyes trained on the screens in front of him. Gee, thanks, Tuvok.

            “You do know this is a Maquis ship,” Chakotay said, allowing his anger to show. “And we aren’t interested in pleasure cruises, or whatever you’re on here. If you know what’s good for you, you’d get the hell out of the Badlands and go where it’s safe!”

            “Ooh,” Bratty sighed. “Gotta love the Badboy Maquis…”

            “Shh,” Widgit shushed her. She looked up, saw Chakotay looking at her, and smiled shyly.

            Chakotay stared for a minute at the entourage of women. The thought of that many women wanting him at once was…well…exciting, to say the least. But what he couldn’t understand is how they’d all heard of him. One of them looked at least familiar to him…the one identified as the Virgin, Helen.

            “Helen!” he said suddenly.

            “What did I do!?” Helen cried. “Why is everyone always picking on me!”

            “I think I know you,” Chakotay added.

            The 13 other women turned and looked at the young Helen with expressions of envy and anger. Helen shrugged at them and turned demurely back to the viewscreen.

            “I don’t think I know you, babe,” she said. “But I’d like to. Wanna get married?”

            “That’s it! Helen, this is ridiculous!” Chakotay looked around as everyone stopped moving.

           

            You don’t like it?

             “It’s not real. It never happened. And besides, it’s completely insane!”

            I didn’t promise that it wouldn’t be…silly. I wanted to do something fun with you.

            “Was that Helen really you?”

            Yes.

            Chakotay considered this for a moment. “And did you just propose marriage?!”

            That was my character.

            “But you just said it was you.”

            It was.

            Chakotay cursed and slammed a hand on the console before him. “I want out. I want to go back to the drawing board and I want to wait for a different writer to come get me. I want a real story. I want—”

            You want an awful lot for a fictional character. You have no say here. I was listening to you because you intrigued me. But right now, I feel like tossing you in the trash bin.

            “You wouldn’t dare!”

            Try me, babe. Look, if you don’t want to do any of my stories, fine. When you change your mind, I’ll come back for you. How does that sound?

            “No more silly stories?”

            I can’t promise that. I can only say that next time, I’ll try a more serious approach.

            “Okay then.” He looked down as his surroundings disappeared. He seemed to be on a large sheet of blank paper. “This is the drawing board, I take it?”

            Yes. I hope you’re happier here than in my clutches.

            “Helen?”

            Yes, Chakotay.

            “This was kind fun,” he admitted. “I liked having some say in the stories. And, the last one…it could have been fun.”

            I’m glad you see it that way. Care to try again?

            “Maybe sometime soon.”

            It’s a date.

 

The End…for now

 

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