Siren Song
Part One
“Back to School”
By
I killed a man. Maybe two. I think.
My thoughts have been coming clearer
as I walked. The cold rain as it ran down my hair and into my face made me
notice the weather for the first time in days. Stumbling as I made my way along
the side of the ditch, I eyed the area I found myself. I was almost in a
densely wooded area, following a stream (made by the intense rain) that flowed
alongside a small road.
Where
am I going? I asked myself.
The answer appeared to me easily: to a
refuge.
Suddenly, I was remembering things as they’d been.
Just like that, I was there again, seeing and feeling it all anew.
“Miss Cirsei,” Steffi called, her hand
in the air. “I don’t understand why we have to know any of this.”
I smiled at her, seeing the way her
clique of girls nodded in sudden agreement. Rubbing the chalk dust from my
hands, I took a seat on my stool. I heard a few groans from the students who
knew what was coming.
“Steffi, did you know that at one
time, you would not have been allowed to use the same water fountain as
Gregory?”
She looked at the dark-skinned boy two
seats away from her and shrugged. It was her usual “don’t know-don’t care”
attitude. Sighing internally, I began to explain the history of racial
prejudice in our country. Steffi seemed bored, as usual, but a few kids perked
up.
“You’re probably wondering what any of
that has to do with today’s current events,” I continued. “With the incidents
surrounding the attack on the president, and the suspicions that mutants were
involved, there has been a rehashing of prejudice. No longer do people look at
the color of skin in order to make unfair judgments and declarations, but now
mutants have become the catch-all for anything that goes wrong in the world.”
Steffi groaned dramatically and her
cohorts chortled.
“You disagree, Steffi?” I asked,
crossing my legs.
“I’m so tired of hearing about the
mutants. They’re just freaks with nothing better to do than cause trouble.”
I nodded and leaned forward. “Sounds
to me like the makings of a debate.”
There were more groans as I split the
high school class up into sides. Every so often, in order to get them to
participate, I would throw impromptu debates together. I always made sure to
evenly distribute the ones who already had their minds made up on both sides.
“You have ten minutes to get some
points together and…”
Pain.
Panic. “ANNIE!!!”
“Brad?” I whispered. It was as if I’d
heard him screaming down a tunnel. Tommy was looking at me with a confused
look. Shaking my head, I smiled and turned to write on the chalkboard.
“Run!
Get out! No!”
My
knees went weak as I saw Brad in the alley behind our apartment. It was as if I
was floating over his head, or in his head. Two men approached him and I
saw/felt us fall. My arm ached with a sharp pain and I knew it was broken. The
taller man began to kick us in the stomach.
A very distant part of myself knew I
had collapsed onto the linoleum of my classroom.
“Please…don’t…”
Brad begged for our life.
There was
a movement from the other man. He yanked our head back and I felt something
cold against our temple.
“NO!”
I cried as the shot rang out. I felt Brad die instantaneously. The students were staring at me, screaming in terror
as I reached out and…
I looked
down at Brad’s body, then turned my attention to the two men. The taller one
was searching Brad’s pockets as the other one wiped the gun clean of his
prints. My anger and pain grew until I had collected enough and then I lashed
out.
I
stared down at their lifeless bodies.
I was back in my own body, seeing the
students in a panic. Not knowing what had just happened, I remained silent.
Desks were scattered, books and papers whirling as the open windows allowed
snow to blow through the room. Knowing that somehow I had caused all of this, I
folded in on myself and closed off.
Lightening flashed out of a clear sky
and I looked up. There was a figure moving in the sky. Ducking, I flattened
myself to the nearest tree. She—for I could tell it was a women and somehow
familiar—moved on without seeing me. I wasn’t surprised. Fog rolled past me and
I felt it caress my skin lightly.
Wiping my arm across my face, I
wondered when the rain had stopped. My mind was taking stock of my surroundings
as I came back to myself. Wincing as the figure made another pass, I started
running. Trees were a blur as I rushed towards the only sanctuary I could
remember…
“Charles,” I breathed, gasping.
Stopping as my hand encountered a
wall, I gazed up at the plaque I touched.
“Xavier’s School for the Gifted,” I
read, sighing in relief. I’d made it.
The gate opened.
“Come
in, Annie.”
I went inside, following the hints his
mind sent to mine. The few people I did see, did not pay attention to me.
“They
cannot see you, Annie. Your mind shields have hidden you.”
I didn’t understand what he said, but
I knew he was the only who could help me.
“I
will help you, Annie…”
A door opened and I went inside.
Charles sat in his wheelchair, facing me with a patient expression on his face.
“Come, Annie,” he greeted. “Lie down,
and I will help you relax.”
I dropped, soggy, onto the couch he
pointed towards. My head was near him and I watched as he came close enough to
place his hands on either side.
“Be
calm…sleep.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever seen her
again,” a voice was saying.
“Yes,” Charles agreed wryly. “She made
it quite clear she didn’t wish to return.”
There was a pause and his companion
sighed. “What happened to her?”
“Trauma,” Charles said. “Unforeseen
and tragic enough to cause her powers to try to reassert themselves once more.”
I opened my eyes, staring at the
wooden ceilings above me. I felt surprisingly calm as I blinked and listened to
them.
“But why was she unable to turn them
off?”
“For the same reason, Scott,” I said,
sitting up slowly. My head ached dully, but I ignored it. I knew where I was,
and who these men were—something I was grateful for. Lately, I’d lost track of
everything.
“Annie,” Scott said in surprise, whirling
to face me. The red lenses of his standard sunglasses glinted in the morning
light. “It’s…been so long.”
“I know,” I agreed. “Not as long as we
expected, though.”
He stiffened, and his brow furrowed.
Before he could remark, Charles rolled to a position between us. “Annie,” he
said quietly. “Tell us what happened.”
“I…I’m not completely sure.” I rubbed
my temple. “It’s broken up into shards of partial memories and feelings.”
He nodded. “Perhaps I can fill in the
gaps.”
I tried to focus on the recent past,
but found that nothing held still long enough in my mind. Concentrating, I was
distracted as the door flew open and a large man barged inside.
“Alright, One-Eye, where is it?” he
bellowed.
I blinked and vanished.
“Easy,
His dark eyes shifted and he sniffed
the air. I gazed in amazement as he flexed his fists, causing metal blades to
slide out from between his knuckles.
“Where are they?” he growled. “I can
smell ‘em, but I can’t see ‘em.”
Charles rolled closer to this
Relaxing, I sighed and felt myself
appear again.
“Holy hell!”
“
We eyed each other uncertainly. I was
positive I hadn’t met him before, but at the same time, I knew my mind could
have hidden the memory.
“Hi,” he said with a bit of annoyance.
I took it that he didn’t like not being able to tell where someone was at all
times. I felt the same about not having any control over being seen.
“Hello,” I replied.
“Now then,” Charles said. “What did
you need,
His eyes snapped away from mine.
“Actually, I had a beef with Ol’ One-Eye, here.”
Scott, who had been silent until now,
bristled. “What do you want?”
“Where’s the bike?”
Scott crossed his arms, smirking. “You
mean, my bike?”
“Where are you going?” Charles asked.
“We’re out of beer.”
“
Scott shook his head. “Nope.”
As Scott and Logan began to
argue—which seemed to be the usual for them, since Charles didn’t flinch—I took
a look around the room. Charles remained silent, listening to the men, fingers
steepled in thought. My clothes were dry and the sun shown through the windows.
I rose and went to peer outside. With a faint smile, I saw the training area
where Jean and I had honed our skills. I turned towards the three men.
“Where’s Jean?” I asked quietly.
The arguing stopped immediately. Scott
looked at the floor while
“Oh…Scott, I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
I saw his jaw clench. “Yeah,” he
replied evenly.
“Charles,” I said, feeling tired
again. “Is there somewhere…?”
“Yes, of course,” he replied. “I’ll
show you to a room.”
Ten minutes later I was stretched out
on a bed, on my stomach. Charles remained behind, easing me into a dreamless
sleep. As soon as he left, I was wide awake again. My body argued, crying out
for sleep, but my mind refused to give in.
She’s
gone…I thought to myself. Jean, my
best friend…the only family I’d known for so long.
Jean Grey had been my cousin, and
fellow mutant. I had known about her powers, and that she was at a special
school for people like her, but I hadn’t truly understood. I was a “normal”,
the pride of my parents. We’d gone on a skiing weekend trip when I was fifteen
and when I’d come back—I’d changed.
Most mutants found out what they were
in puberty, during heightened emotions. Well, my own puberty was well underway,
and nothing had happened.
Then there was the accident.
My mother had been killed when the
drunk driver hit us. Daddy was in a coma. And I…I was quarantined. I couldn’t
understand why; I was barely injured and wore only a small cast on my wrist,
and had a minor concussion. Then a nurse let me look into a hand-held mirror.
I looked like a cat. Well, sorta.
There was a fine layer of gray fur covering my body, even my face. There was
enough of it to give me a darker appearance, but not so much that you couldn’t
see my normal features. My ears were slightly cupped, and pointed, and as I
stared in shock, they swiveled back and flattened to the side of my head. In
slow motion, I saw a thin tail snake it’s way up to my shoulder and I grasped
it, feeling how it was attached to my lower back, right before my buttocks.
The windows on the ICU shattered as I
cried out my anguish.
I was a mutant, and a late-bloomer to
boot. The kind nurse took pity on me and promised to get a friend of hers to
come see me.
Charles showed up the next day. There
was something calming about him and I’d found myself opening up to him. He, in
return, showed me that I was not a late-bloomer. In fact, I had developed my
powers at a very young age. He told me that I was a projecting telepath. He
promised to help me in whatever ways he could.
Daddy awoke long enough to meet
Charles. After hours of talking, he signed the paperwork to make Charles Xavier
my legal guardian. And then he died.
I went to live at the Xavier’s school,
where mutants were taught the usual classroom topics, plus how to control their
powers. It was there that I found out that all this time, I had been putting
out a psi-image of a normal girl; hiding my real self from the world. What
others had seen did not exist—it was my own image from within.
I didn’t have to worry about making
friends, since Jean was there. We’d never been close, but finding myself lost
and an orphan made me glad for her company. She was also a telepath, it seemed,
though not as strong as I was. She was better at her telekinesis, but she was
very shy about using either power. It was because she was unsure that I
discovered that I too could move things with my mind.
We were mirror images and we longed
for what the other had. She looked perfectly normal and could easily get by in
the rest of the world without worry. I, on the other hand, had to hide behind a
mirage. I had strong control over my powers from day one, but she was hesitant
and uncertain. Where she was shy, I flaunted my powers whenever I could. I
never used them against anyone maliciously, nor cheated on a test, but boy did
I play tricks on people.
We also disagreed on how mutants were
treated. She thought it wasn’t fair to be sequestered from the rest of the
world, just because we were different. At the same time, she was very uncertain
about ever leaving the safety of the school. I thought it was unfair that we
couldn’t live among the “normals”, even if that meant hiding in plain sight. We
used to stage debates between ourselves, taking either side and arguing until
we reached an impasse.
Most importantly, she was the only one
I could receive messages telepathically from—other than the Professor. I could
receive easily, and even eavesdrop on mental conversations people had with
themselves. Hearing these thoughts made me want to help solve their problems.
But it had to be projected outwards somehow, for me to pick up on it.
When it was time to choose a
profession, it seemed natural for me to become a teacher. But I couldn’t handle
having students with so many different powers; it was too distracting to them,
and me. I decided I wanted to go back out into the “real world”. Charles worked
with me until we had perfected an image for me to project—one that would never
waver, no matter what—then he put a psionic-lock on my powers. I couldn’t
access them, change them, or anything…and to the rest of the world, I looked
normal. I left the school, and Jean, and was happy.
“You are not resting, Annie,” Charles
said from the doorway.
I wiped the tears that had run down my
cheek to the quilt beneath me.
“I see the old memories come to you
easily,” he commented.
“Yes,” I sighed, stretching before
sitting up. “They are as real as they were as I lived them. But it gets fuzzy
after that.” I picked at the small claws I had on my toes, instead of nails.
“Was Jean happy with Scott?”
He smiled, I knew, even though I
didn’t look up. “Yes, she was. She loved him very much. And he still loves
her.”
I grunted. That was another thing Jean
and I had had in common: our taste in men. I had even dated Scott for a short time,
but soon found that he was too…disapproving of my tricks. I’d hoped they would
get together, but I left before I saw them become a couple.
“Are you ready to try reconstructing
your memories?” Charles asked.
I tensed. For the first time, I was
afraid of my own powers and what I had been able to do with them.
“Can’t you just…make me like I was?
Redo the locks and let me go?” I asked, flinching at the weakness in my voice.
“No, I cannot,” he admitted, moving to
the side of the bed. “Annie, your memories and the psi-locks are intertwined at
this point. The traumatic events that caused the reemergence of your powers
triggered a kind of meltdown. I believe that if we can rebuild your memories,
the psi-locks will become separate enough for me to remove them completely.
And, if you wish, replace them.”
I shivered. “I’m not sure if I want to
know what happened.”
“You
already know what happened.”
“Brad!
No!” The memory echoed between us
and I flinched.
“Please…” I whispered.
“It’s alright, Annie,” Charles
allowed, leaving the room. “When you are
ready, we will find a way.”
Two days later, I found myself
wandering around the campus. It was even more pristine than I remembered. Of
course, my memory couldn’t be fully trusted these days. I’d begun to find that
things weren’t as clear to me as I had thought. More of my past was muddled and
uncertain.
A soccer ball came flying towards me
and instinctively, I deflected it and winked out of sight.
“Hey, sorry about…hey?” a young boy
exclaimed. He was a teenager, around the same age of the classes I taught. Used
to teach. I eyed him, seeing no malice in his confused face. As soon as I
relaxed, I popped into existence where I’d been the entire time. He gaped at
me. “Wha? Huh?”
“Sorry,” I said, smiling foolishly.
“I’m not very good at controlling that.”
He shrugged and smiled, holding out a
hand. “I’m Bobby.”
“Annie,” I replied, smiling without
showing my sharp teeth. I paused, then placed my hand into his.
“Wow, that’s soft!” he said in
surprise, blushing suddenly. “Sorry, I mean…uh…”
I extricated my hand and looked at the
field of grass where he’d been playing a moment before. His friends were
waiting impatiently.
“Come on, Iceman!” someone called.
“Stop trying to delay your defeat!”
He grinned at me and ran back onto the
grass. I gazed after him in silence, poring over the moment. He hadn’t shied
away from my strange appearance.
“It’s nice to see children feeling
more at ease with their mutant abilities,” a soft accented voice said to my
left. I turned to look at the brown-skinned woman. Her silvery hair fluttered
in the slight breeze as she smiled at me.
“You and I had it much rougher,” I agreed. “How have
you been, Ororo?”
“Busy,” she admitted, eyeing me. “I heard you were
back.”
We began to walk to sit on a nearby bench. I tried to
figure out what to say to her. She’d intimidated me when we were teens. She’d
been such an imposing figure, sounding so grown up and regal. But her kindness
and sense of right had won me over in the end.
“You are not projecting,” she said, almost in
surprise.
“I…can’t seem to control it.” I pulled my legs up
under myself and sighed.
“The Professor says that you will be able to again,
though, right?”
She was trying to be encouraging, I knew, but I was uncomfortable
opening up to her. “So, you still call him Professor, huh?”
She half-smiled in response. “Not all of us can get
away with calling him by his first name.”
“It was either Charles or Dad, and I already had a
dad.”
We were silent for a moment, watching
the kids play. I was amazed at their fearlessness as they created their own
game, using powers and not. I felt Ororo’s eyes on me and knew what she was
thinking, without telepathy being needed.
“Do you still climb trees?” she asked,
grinning.
I found myself baring my teeth in a
grin of my own. “It’s been years,” I admitted.
“Want to show these kids how it’s
done?” she offered.
That got a laugh out of me, the first
sound of happiness I’d made in a long time. She stood, gesturing at the large
tree nearest to us.
“Hope I’m not too old for this,” I
joked.
“You are not old, you are my age!”
“Like I said…” I replied; jumping at
the sudden bolt of lightening that zapped the sky above. That caught the
attention of the kids and they stopped to see what was going on.
“Stay back, children,” Ororo called to
them.
I looked up at the branches above my
head. I hadn’t climbed a tree since I left for the city all those years ago. My
mind automatically picked out the best branches and with a bouncing start, I
grabbed onto a branch. Moving quickly, I got about halfway up before looking
down. The kids had gathered in a circle, and I saw some adults with them,
including Scott and Logan.
“What’s going on?” I heard
“It’s an old game these two used to play,”
Scott replied. “It’s kind of like tag.”
“Only more complicated,” I yelled down
to them.
“Ready?” Ororo—now becoming
Storm—called. Her eyes were glazing over already.
“Hit me with your best shot!” I cried.
She wasted no time. Within seconds, I
felt the tingling in the air as a small cloud formed nearby. I swatted it with
my hand, and swung to another branch. Another one was waiting as I dropped and
somersaulted through it. The fur along my neck stood on end and I felt the
charge just before it struck me in the back. I yowled.
“Gotcha!” Storm exclaimed.
“Give me a break,” I hollered, rubbing
the spot on my back where I’d been hit. “I’m not used to this anymore!”
“Don’t be a wimp!” she replied,
laughing.
“Wimp!” I yelled back in indignation.
I took a running leap and managed to
snag a higher branch. It was thinner than the ones I’d been on, perfect for
what I was planning. As soon as I felt another mini-cloud forming, I whirled
and kicked it out of existence, falling away from the trunk of the tree. I
heard the gasps below, but ignored them. Instead, I caught the end of the
branch and allowed it to sag, barely reducing my falling rate. I swung into the
thicker branches and scrambled around, still holding the thin branch. A series
of clouds followed me, and I released the branch. It smashed through the
remaining clouds.
“That’s ten!” I exclaimed.
“Game!” Ororo agreed. Her eyes
returned to normal and she grinned up at me. “And you tried to say you were out
of shape!”
“That’s out of shape?!” I heard
I blushed, grateful for the fur that
hid it. Moving almost lazily, I climbed down the trunk of the tree until I
could drop directly in front of the man. He didn’t budge or react, except for a
flash in his eyes.
“Careful what you say in front of
children,” I chastised softly, knowing he could hear as well as I could. He
grunted.
“How did you learn to do that?” a
young girl asked. She bounced from one foot to the other in her excitement,
gesturing with glove-clad hands. A streak of white hair in the front of her
brown coif caught my eye.
“Gymnastics, partly,” I said. “The
rest was just a game out of boredom.”
“It was originally a training scenario
for the Danger Room,” Charles said, coming closer. “But Ororo and Annie
modified it for their own enjoyment.”
“I’ll beat you next time,” Ororo
promised, smiling.
“You always said that!” I smirked at
her.
With a final glance over her shoulder,
Ororo laughed and walked away. I rubbed my hands together, wincing at the splinters
left behind.
“
I looked up to watch as the brusque
man nodded to my old friend. There was something unspoken there; something that
piqued my curiosity. They left, with
“Ya know,” Scott said suddenly,
drawing my attention. “I don’t think I remember you beating Storm so easily
before.”
I looked at him. He leaned against the
tree casually, arms crossed. I picked at a splinter with the tip of my claws.
“Well,” I admitted slowly. “She was
going easy on me.”
“How can you tell?”
Something in his tone made me pause
and consider that. “Trust me. I’m out of practice for combat, though I have
tried to stay in shape. I teach beginner’s gymnastics…or, I did teach it…”
“Hold
me up, Miss Annie!”
“I
will, Talia…”
“Hello? Earth to Annie?” Scott was in
front of me, waving a hand close to my face.
“Oh!” I exclaimed, stepping back. “I…I’m
sorry. I got lost in memories…”
His jaw-line moved tensely. “I seem to
be doing that a lot lately, too.”
I forgot about the splinters in my
palms, wiping at the sudden tears that appeared on my cheeks.
“I miss her too, Scott.”
For a brief moment, we shared a bond.
Then it was lost to the old bitterness between us. He’d never forgiven me for
leaving. There was so much I wanted to say to him in that instant, but it was
too late. He half-shrugged and walked away; leaving me alone.
“Excuse me,” a new voice said softly.
I turned to see a puff of blue-black
smoke fading. In it stood a young man, taller than me, with blue skin and a
pointed tail. His brilliant skin was covered in delicate lines that were
somehow familiar to me. The overall effect was otherworldly…
“Beautiful,” I murmured.
His eyes were downcast, but they flew
up to my face when I spoke. He smiled shyly, white teeth flashing.
“I’m Annie,” I said.
“Kurt,” he replied. “Or Nightcrawler,
if you prefer.”
I smiled at him. His shyness reminded
me of some of my less-outspoken students. I thought I identified his accent as
German.
“Kurt,” I agreed. “Your angelic
markings are phenomenal.”
He bowed dramatically. “Danke,” he said. “Not many know what
they are.”
“In this world, it’s nice to know who
is safe to trust. One covered in such heavenly affects must be honest and
true.”
I knew then that I had won his
affection. “I was going to ask you…”
“Yes?”
He looked down, away. “They said that
when you arrived here, you were hidden from view. Somehow, you can hide
yourself, and your appearance…”
I nodded. “That’s right. I’m a
projecting telepath. I can project an image of myself, or the nonexistence
image to appear invisible.”
He wilted slightly. “Then it is not something
you could share?”
His pain was so apparent on his face,
and I knew it was reflected in my own. Here was another creature that could not
pass as “normal” in the outside world. One who wanted to, but unlike me, he
didn’t have a way to.
“I’m sorry, Kurt,” I said finally. “I
really am. I can’t control it at all right now, but even when I can, I could
only project an image for you when I’m within visual range.”
His tail had lost it’s earlier
movement, and lay lifeless on the ground. He started to turn away.
“Kurt?”
He stopped and looked back, waiting.
Taking a chance, I reached out to touch the textured skin on his bare arm.
“It would be a shame to hide such
artwork from the world,” I said, seeing him glance up at me. “Why do these
things, only to hide them?”
“Why do we have to hide anything?” he
asked rhetorically. “Why do you have to hide your tail, your fur, your ears?”
I grinned, not caring if my teeth
appeared scary. “I always thought it was to keep the rest of the world from
being jealous.”
He chuckled. “In your case, I would
agree. In mine…” He shook his head.
This time when he walked away, I
didn’t try to stop him. I had no answers for him. I had no answers for myself.
For lack of real motivation to try
sleeping, I was exploring the buildings where I’d spent so much time before. I
encountered a young preteen in front of a television, staring in fascination as
he changed the channels with his blinks.
“Nothing good is on at night!” he
complained.
“Why don’t you watch a movie?” I
suggested.
He grunted and suddenly a movie was
showing. He settled into the cushions on the couch and seemed content. I was
not.
I walked silently down each hall,
hearing the children moving about and talking. The younger ones were already in
bed, but most of the teenagers were still up, listening to music quietly. My
bare feet made no noise on the hardwood floors as I passed closed door.
“Coming through!” a girl’s voice
called. Unsure where she was coming from, I pressed myself against the wall and
waited. Within seconds, a girl bounded out of her room, going through the door.
She paused, seeing me. “Sorry!”
“No problem,” I mumbled as she went
past.
“Don’t mind Shadowcat,” the girl from
that afternoon said. She brushed some of the white hair behind her ear. “She
does that every night.”
I smiled at her. “We didn’t get a
proper introduction today. I’m Annie.”
“Rogue,” she replied. With an
afterthought, she shrugged. “Marie.”
“Ah,” I said. “When I was your age, my
codename was Siren.”
“How come?” She tugged at the gloves
she still wore, though these were a different pair.
“You know the myth of the sirens?” I
asked.
She nodded. “They were able to draw
sailors to their deaths with their song.”
“Right,” I agreed. “I thought I was
being clever. A Siren was an ugly creature, who looked and sounded like a
beautiful woman until it was too late…and with my projections, I could do the
same thing.”
She gave me one of those piercing
looks that only a teenage girl can. “But you’re not an ugly creature.”
“Tell that to the poor boys who wanted
to date me,” I said with a wicked grin.
“Do you really think you’re ugly?” she
asked, ignoring my witty comment.
“I…I’m not horrendous,” I said,
embarrassed at the stammer in my voice.
She grinned mysteriously. “Kurt thinks
you’re adorable.”
Before I could comment, she bounced
away and into a room. The door swung shut and I was alone once more. Lost in
thought, I continued on my prowl.
Charles seemed to understand my need
for a refuge. He left me alone, mostly, except once a day when he would
approach me and ask if I was ready. I would say no, he’d give me one of those
intense looks, then leave. I found that I was working out more and building up
an endurance I’d lost over the years…I also found that the physical exhaustion
made me sleep sounder, and I would not dream then.
When a dream did occur, I would wake
up crying and drenched in sweat. Instead of bothering Charles, I would patrol
the school. Occasionally, I would encounter other people—mostly nocturnals,
night-owls or someone out for a late-night snack.
One pristine night, marred only by
nightmares, I found myself outside, heading for the gym. It was the only
building I hadn’t been in yet, and I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to
bed. The prospect of dreams scared me and I shuddered. Entering the facility, I
glanced around. It was so familiar; I half-expected Jean to come around a
corner and ask me to join her in the pool.
I went through the doors to the main
room. In the center of the moonlit general room, I spotted the mats. I wasn’t
dressed for it, but I was overcome with the desire to do some tumbling.
Shrugging, I went to the main mat and stepped onto it. The springboards beneath
gave just right when I bounced.
“Why not?” I mumbled.
With a deep breath, I ran several feet
and launched myself into a series of flips. The movements came back to me so
easily; I slipped into an old routine. It was another one of Jean’s favorite
things to do. We used to spar on the mats, using flips and tumbling moves in
combination to the hand to hand combat we were learning.
Within minutes, I was sweating and
grunting with every move. I panted, not used to such exertions, and pushed
myself harder. Even the feeling of my tail as I moved through the air was exhilarating.
Then I landed wrong, slid in my own sweat, and went down hard on my side. I
slapped the mat and rolled to lessen the impact, but the wind was knocked out
of me.
“Y’okay?”
“AGH!” I cried as I was able to inhale
again. I disappeared.
“Stop sneaking up on me!” I countered,
unsure if I could be heard.
He grunted. “I didn’t want to
interrupt.”
I sighed and felt myself pop back into
view. Still out of breath, I lay on my back, staring up at him. He offered his
hand and I allowed him to pull me up. Then I noticed that he was wearing only
some sweatpants and was covered in the sheen of his own sweat.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “So I
thought I’d run a few rounds with the punching bag.”
I tore my eyes from his impressive
physique. “I had similar thoughts.”
He eyed me. “You aren’t dressed
properly. That’s why you slipped up.”
Putting my hands on my hips, I glared
up at him. But there was no attitude in his face. He was trying to make
conversation, I realized.
“So, how do you do that?” he asked.
“That blink out thing?”
I sighed. “I feel as if I’ve been
explaining myself all day.” He was silent and just stared at me. Rolling my eyes,
I continued, “I’m a projecting telepath. I can make you see me however I want,
or not see me at all.”
His face clouded over. “So you can
look like anyone. I know someone who can do that.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
Whoever this other person was, he wasn’t fond of them.
“I’m also slightly telekinetic,” I
added. “Like Jean, only not as good.”
My words hit me hard enough that I
almost missed the look on his face. It was a lot like the one on Scott’s when
I’d mentioned her before.
“Did you know her?” I asked, wanting
to know what he’d been to my cousin.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “She was
something.”
I had to agree. “Jean was my cousin,
ya know,” I said. “But she was stronger than I was. Just ask Scott.”
His eyes flashed and he gave me a penetrating
look. I had seen the tension between them before, easily recognizing it.
“He’s bitter because I left,” I said.
Part of me wondered why I was telling
He nodded. “Yeah, some of them are
rather…odd.”
“I don’t know if it was some innate
need to go out into the world,” I continued. “Maybe I just wanted to prove to
myself that I could do it. I’m so stubborn; once I made up my mind, there was
nothing Jean or Scott could say to make me change it. No matter what…”
I went silent, finally. It felt
strange to talk about these things, especially with a stranger, but at the same
time, it was like I was reviewing my life and seeing if it had been worth it.
“So were you around when One-Eye and
Jean started dating?” he asked carefully.
Aha,
you gave yourself away,
Out loud, I laughed. “You could say
that I brought them together. At first, it was just to get Scott to leave me
alone…besides, Jean had such a crush on him. And he was more her type than
mine.”
He scoffed in disgust. “What is it
with women liking such goody-goodies?”
“For Jean, it was the safety,” I said.
“He was a mutant too, so he understood that. And he’s about as loyal as you can
get. No worries about him straying, ya know?”
I stretched, feeling
“You stretch just like a cat,” he said
suddenly.
I burst out laughing in surprise and
felt my tail swaying behind me. “It can’t be helped, I suppose.”
“Do you purr too?” he asked coyly,
grinning sloppily.
I blushed and stepped closer to him.
“Got any catnip?”
We were interrupted by the lights
coming on. We both blinked in the brightness and I fought the need to
disappear.
“Exercising in the dark is never a
good idea,” Scott said.
I stepped onto the regular floor and
held one hand up over my eyes to see him. “What is with everyone sneaking
around here?” I demanded.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
Scott didn’t seem impressed. He sighed
and I tried to ignore the way the tank-top stretched across his chest.
“I came to talk to you, Annie, but you
weren’t in your room. Somehow, I knew you’d be here.”
“Here I am,” I replied, wondering how long
he’d been there in the shadows. I watched how he looked over at
He shook his head. “Nothing that can’t
wait until tomorrow. Good night.”
And he was gone. The lights were still
on and I turned to look at
“What the hell was that about?” he
asked.
I shrugged. “I guess I’ll find out
tomorrow.”
It didn’t take long for Scott to show
up. I was in my room, dressing after a luxurious hot shower, when the knock
came.
“Just a second!” I called, struggling
to get my tail to cooperate with my jeans. I sighed and pulled them off again,
grabbing some soft cotton leggings out instead. “If anyone asks, I’m going to
work out,” I mumbled.
Covered and decent, I went to the door and opened it.
Scott stood outside, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked up at me for a
beat.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
Suddenly uncomfortable with the thought of him in my
room, I nodded. “Shall we take a stroll?”
I slipped past him, shutting the door. He shrugged
and we began to walk down the stairs.
“I was thinking of talking over some brunch,” he
suggested.
My stomach cramped at the thought. “I’m not hungry.”
He stared at me until I frowned back at him. “That’s
part of the problem,” he said finally.
“Hmm?” I asked, nodding to Rogue and Bobby as they
walked past.
“Annie,” Scott said urgently. I looked at him. “You
haven’t been eating, and you’re pushing yourself too hard in the gym.”
My jaw clenched and I felt the fur along my shoulders
raise. “So, what? You think I have some kind of eating disorder?” I rushed on
before he could answer. “I eat! I had some crackers for breakfast and a cup of
tea!”
“What did you eat yesterday?” he demanded.
I hesitated, thinking. “Some soup…a cookie…lemonade…”
He nodded. “Annie, we’re worried about you.” He
looked unsettled. “The Professor is afraid you’re trying to hurt yourself. You
might not even know you’re doing it!”
His fear was real. The intense emotions on his face
and in his voice made even more fur stand on end—this time for different
reasons. Despite being out in the warm sun, I was chilled.
“You’ve been here for two weeks,” he continued. “And
you’ve lost weight. Okay, grief does that to a person, I know, but you aren’t
dealing with the grief.”
I crossed my arms tightly, feeling the ribs beneath
my hands as if for the first time.
“I know that you can’t really deal with the grief,”
Scott was saying. “But the sooner you and the Professor can get those memories
back, the sooner you can deal with it. Does that make sense?”
I nodded meekly. “It does…it really does.” I turned
away, fighting the tears that threatened to overflow. “I…can’t. It hurts too
much. I hardly remember Brad anymore—the little bit I did remember is fading. I
can just pretend it never happened, we never met and fell in love…”
“Do you love Jean any less because she’s gone?” The
pain in his voice made me wince and sob. “Do you think I do?”
“No!” I exclaimed hoarsely, dropping onto a nearby
bench. “God, no…Scott. I’m sorry…”
He held me as I wept out in the open. I didn’t care
who saw or what anyone thought as I cried. His arm was comforting around my
shoulders and I felt even worse.
“Scott,” I said after a long while. “Do you know why
I left the school?”
He tensed beside me. “You were ashamed to be a
mutant.”
I straightened and stared at him. “Is that what
you…all this time, you thought I was ashamed…” I stopped, knowing that he was
right, somewhat. “Okay, I had issues with being different than the rest of the
world. My gawky teenage years were spent trying to understand my powers, and
control them. But that’s not why I left.”
“Okay then, why did you leave?”
I sighed. “Jean…we had become too codependent, Scott.
Where my telekinesis wavered, hers was strong. Where my telepathy withstood
intense scrutiny, hers was haphazard and sloppy. Instead of working with each
other and building each other up, we just let the other cover for us.” I
gestured with my hands. “When you and I dated, I realized that I wasn’t
supporting her enough. You pushed me to reach for my potential, Scott. She
needed someone who would do that, and love her.”
I waited, watching the emotions that played across
his face. A few tears streamed out from behind the red-lenses. In a sudden
movement, he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees.
“When you pushed me away,” he began slowly, his voice
deep. “I thought it was because you saw me as flawed. I wondered how you could
love Jean like it seemed you did, when you had such disregard for mutants. Then
you left us behind, as if we were something you wanted to forget.” He tilted
his head to look at me. “The worst was that you refused to be yourself around
us. You were always projecting that damn perfectly normal image. It hurt Jean
to think you were embarrassed by your own uniqueness.”
It was my turn to stare in amazement and shock. “I
was embarrassed, that’s true. But not because I hated being a mutant…though
there were times I did. I…” For a moment, my thoughts were going faster than I
could speak. I remembered what I’d said to Rogue. “Do you know why I chose the
name Siren?”
He smirked. “I thought it was to be cute. Another
mythological name to match mine…”
I laughed. “You’re such a hopeless romantic, Scott!”
I declared. I sighed and sobered. “Sirens were hideous. Nasty, vulgar things
that drew men to their deaths by projecting a lie…Jean could at least admit
that she was scared of her powers. I had to hide behind mine.”
“You have been many things, Annie,” he said after
along silence. “But you were never hideous or nasty.” He paused and gave me a
cocky grin. “Vulgar, maybe, though.”
“Watch it, buddy,” I replied, punching him in the
arm.
“Seriously, Annie,” he said, rubbing his bicep. “Your
natural form isn’t bad.” I raised my eyebrows at him and he blushed. “As long
as you don’t start catching mice or anything.”
I pretended to mull it over. “Deal.”
“Now, about that meal…”