For each Lord of the Rings film, we've totted up the number of times certain things happen. Frodo falling over, for instance, or Theoden being a complete drama queen. You get the picture. Without further ado...
The Fellowship of the Ring
First off, some general stuff:
Decapitations….4
Battle cries….16
Serious smiting (hurrah)….7
Pipes smoked….15
Instances of apples onscreen….9
Villagers appear, doing wholesome villager things….3
Maps appear onscreen….7
Elvish spoken….17
Dwarvish spoken….1
Black speech uttered….14
Bits where you can’t tell what the hell they’re saying (Crabhide from Dudley? What?)….4
Close-ups of the Ring….49 (yes, really)
Cameos (that we could spot)….5
Now some more character-based stuff:
Boromir betrays his Yorkshire heritage….3
Aragorn sounds Danish, or Danish-American, or whatever….6
Hobbits sound American (you know which ones)….2 pretty good
Gimli sounds Welsh….13
Gandalf has a drink….6
Legolas attempts to convey an emotion (usually the emotion of ‘acting’)….5
Legolas does a Captain Obvious (bless)….8
Legolas does that cool thing with the knives….3
Sam sulks….8
Frodo and Sam enjoy blatantly homo-erotic moment….11
Frodo does his weird ring-orgasm face….3
Frodo falls over….17 No – we’re not exaggerating, count for yourself.
Frodo calls out pathetically…usually after having fallen over….7
Aragorn nods instead of showing emotion….3
Aragorn does his hamster face….5
Elrond goes completely over the top (well, his little soirée was hijacked somewhat)….10
Arwen chooses a mortal life…again….2
Pippin endangers Middle Earth (directly or indirectly)….8
Merry is useful….4
Saruman is a bit of a thesp….6
And of course:
Cockney orcs….1
Glowing Elves….6
Floating heads….1
Solitary tears shed….7
The Two Towers
So, general stuff:
Decapitations….2
Battle cries….14
Serious smiting (hurrah)….2 Poor Show
Pipes smoked….2
Eating/drinking….4
Villagers appear, doing wholesome villager things….26 Bloody Rohirrim
People riding in or out of cities….7
Elvish spoken….19
Dwarvish spoken….0
‘Women and children’ said ….7
Close-ups of the Big Eye….6
Cameos ….forgot to count
‘Hope’ said….7. Yes, Arwen, we heard you the first time
Character stuff:
Theoden acts like the Drama Queen he is….17 Yes, Theoden, it really has come to this
Theoden’s Bad Ideas….11 Does anyone else feel sorry for Gamling?
Gandalf tries his hand at warmongery….8
Legolas attempts to convey an emotion (usually the emotion of ‘acting’)….10
Legolas does a Captain Obvious (bless) or is generally annoying (‘Come Gimli! Sit Gimli! Stay Gimli!’)….12
Legolas does that cool thing with the knives….6
Sam sulks….6
Various characters enjoy blatantly homo-erotic moment….11(Frodo: what are we holding on to Sam? Sam: Each other Even the actors wanted to say it.)
Frodo does his weird ring-orgasm face….3
Frodo falls over….12 A bit better this time
Merry’s face becomes suddenly hilarious (known at our house as Funny Face Moments)….13
Aragorn nods instead of showing emotion….4 Poor Eowyn
Aragorn does his weasel face….2 ‘You must call for aid…’ You know the bit.
Elrond goes completely over the top ….6
Arwen makes various wistful choices with an earnest look on her face….4
Pippin endangers Middle Earth (directly or indirectly)….couldn’t spot any
Merry is useful….1 - poor show
Saruman is a bit of a thesp….2 ‘To Waaaaar!’
Gollum says ‘gollum.’….3
Gollum scaremongering….6
And of course:
Cockney orcs….11
Errol Flynn Moments….6
Floating heads….0. Shame
Solitary tears shed….8
The Return of the King
Still being put together, but - General stuff:
Decapitations….0
Serious smiting (hurrah)….5
Villagers appear, doing wholesome villager things….6
Rousing Speeches….7
Close-ups of the Big Eye….9
Cameos ….6
Death Scenes….4
Fake deaths….5
Character stuff:
Theoden acts like a drama queen….11
Theoden’s bad ideas….5
Denethor, in a bid for screen-time, tries to out drama-queen Theoden….9
Aragorn nods….2
The many accents of Aragorn….4(listen to the bit where he says ‘let the lord of the Black Lands come forth’… he sounds Irish.)
Frodo falls over….14 but a few are really spectacular
Sam sulks….3
Gollum outwits Sam….4
Pippin endangers Middle Earth….4
Gandalf’s warmongery….3
Gandalf acts like a thug….3
Captain Obvious….3
Legolas emotes….7
Faramir looks like he’s about to cry…3
Arwen is wistful…4
Funny Face Moments….8
Eomer acts like an annoying big brother….4
Aragorn lollops along like a big puppy….4
Aragorn is a bit of a bastard….4
Elrond is over the top, again….6
And of course
Errol Flynn Moments….1
Solitary tears shed….9
Rhiannon gets excited and screeches ‘Back to the shadow, Bitch!’….9
Slashy moments….23 Yes, really.
Endings (it had to be done)….9
And there you have it. When we get the Extended ROTK DVD we’ll add to this last section. Till then, mail us with any corrections, stuff you’ve noticed etc.
Back to our homepage
Back to Dominus Meus
