Alamo Challenge – Poppins' Perspective
To borrow a quote from Charles Dickens…."It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….." pretty well sums up the two--day Alamo Challenge adventure. It began Friday night when David Ashby (DASH) and Brent Fisher (BATMAN) arrived at the Saunders-Poppins house to stay the night, to avoid DASH leaving Dacus, Texas at 4am to get to the 6am lard--bar breakfast in Katy.
DASH had not even gotten past the Saunders driveway fence Friday night and safely onto the patio when he accidentally placed his forearm on a stinging "ASP"……not the snake variety that did mortally wound Cleopatra, but the nettle filled little 1" long worm that stings like a group of constipated fire ants. Mr. POPPINS, being the consummate host, promptly torched said Asp with his BBQ lighter!
Well, we all know that DASH is no Cleopatra, but he did let out a "string of words that would make a sailor swell with pride and sent mothers throughout the neighborhood diving to cover the ears of their children. Some quick first aid was administered and he was pronounced fit for the ride on Saturday. None of us recognized an important bad omen when we saw it…….
6am-Saturday-Snappy’s Restaurant
A covey of CCRiders assembled at Snappy’s Restaurant in old Katy for the pre-ride face-stuffing ritual. Loretta (BABY RUTH), Vicki (STICKY-VICKI), Tim (TONTO), Wendell (SLICK-TREAD), David S. (MR. POPPINS), David A. (DASH), Brent (BATMAN), and Critz .
BATMAN and DASH had already prepared their morning training gruel, which they drink during the ride. To Mr. Poppins, this gruel appeared to consist of ground bat wings, yesterday’s shredded want ad section of the Chronicle, some honey, and a dollop of powdered milk…..no wonder they are called BATMAN and DASH.
During breakfast, it was pouring rain with an occasional lightening bolt thrown by Zeus for good measure…..naturally the ride was on.
7:30am-Saturday-Katy Mills Mall
Given the current conditions (it is still dark, a slight planning error by the Lung Association) the ride start is postponed for about 1 hour. Other CCRiders, Steve (BRUNSWICK), The UNOCAL division of Sherry, Mary, and Mary were getting into place at the start. I was still raining constantly, not too hard. I remember thinking, I had already PAID for this ride, so I’m really riding just to try to eat $100 worth of food, plus the company of course! Sun ‘n Ski was now doing a brisk business in rain gear.
Without warning, BATMAN produced from his luggage, a hot pink Marriott Hotel shower cap and placed it over his helmet, and we all shrank back in amazement, asking him if he would consider changing to a jersey other than our beautiful team CCRider jersey- but he declined. About 8:15, we grow impatient and start making long circles in the Katy Mills parking lot, waiting, waiting, waiting……then all of us, ex our sanity oriented Unocal division, wander out the back mall entrance about 10 minutes ahead of the mass start. Typical rule breaking CCRiders.
9:15am-Saturday-DASH hits the ISH-phalt
On FM1093 out beyond Fulshear, DASH is leading a good pace about 100 yards ahead of BATMAN, Mr. POPPINS, and SLICK, sending up a wet rooster-tail about 20 feet behind him, capable of drowning a rabbit…. the other wet CCRiders close behind. A large pace line passes to his left and wedges DASH between the edge of the road, and one of those deep bike--eating cracks that snared the I-MAN during the spring Gator ride in Baytown. As with Baytown, the road was slick. DASH is now forced to choose between going down in the road by the pace line, and taking to the shoulder – and he forces the bike toward the muddy shoulder. As he leaves the pavement, headed for the ditch, his front wheel digs into the mud, giving him a 180 degree flip into the air, landing on his back in the flood ditch, and cutting a 1 inch gash on his forehead. Despite his protests, we encouraged "G"ASH errrr DASH to get medical attention –thoughtless as he was for stopping our ride, we still took pity on him. Interesting side note, the SAG vehicle driver asked DASH to ride along with his bike in the back of the pickup bed to go to the doctor. Our poor GASH/DASH, already cold and traumatized, almost froze to death being whisked along to the Bellville Hospital for treatment and 7-9 stitches to his head.
Mr. Poppins, are you hard of hearing?
I was one of the first CCRiders over to DASH as he staggered up from the flood ditch. Bystanders gave him 8.5, 8.0, 8.5, and a Russian judge awarded a 9.5 for the flip, but all I saw was a muddy, bleeding CCRider coming up from the water filled ditch. We got him seated on the ground and took a hanky to his face, but he was pale. He said to me "I’m having a vagel reaction….(the Vagel nerve, apparently is responsible for people being squeamish over the sight of blood- especially their own)"…..DASH repeated, "it’s a vagel reaction, I’ll be OK in a few minutes." Indeed Mr. POPPINS is getting old as all I heard was "It’s a BAGEL reaction, and so I’m thinking…..DASH didn’t have bagels for breakfast this morning, he must really need to see the doctor quick!
It is picture time……..
As you know, most CCRiders never miss either a Dairy Queen, Sonic, or photo-op, and with poor Dash lying there on the side of the rain soaked highway, his life’s blood slowly dripping into the flood ditch, we decided to make him pose for pictures. After all, it was Dash’s rather inconsiderate act that had halted the progress of the entire CCRider team, at least until the motorcycle patrol had arrived to make most everyone get going again – so-o-o-o photos will be posted soon on the internet as normal. Now, for those of you who are wondering the fate of DASH, read on.
9am-11am…rain, rain go away, and bring your lightening another day…...
BABY RUTH (Loretta) calls our CCRider team the Alka-Selzer team, meaning we start out whole and then quickly dissolve. I believe this is the most appropriate description of riders who enjoy each other’s company, but like to ride at their own pace, slower or faster….so the Alka-Seltzer team has pretty much disintegrated by the second rest stop, and I find myself with my old cycle bud, SLICK. We are beating hard into a reasonably strong headwind, and taking turns with 1 mile pulls, thinking mostly about how far the lunch stop was from our current location, but mostly whether or not the Dairy Barn was going to be open across from the water park where lunch was being served. It was about this time when we were inundated with what we termed the "WALL OF RAIN" and what was affectionately called a "shower band" by the weather forecasters who were not on this ride.
The storm lasted about 20 minutes and was pelting raining so hard it was stinging our legs from the wind, but we forged along, slickers on our backs, rain plunking off the helmet, making a reasonable 14 mph into the storm….until the air in Mr. POPPIN’s rear tire decided to escape into the moisture laden atmosphere….
Limping in to lunch……
Three times we stopped to pump or change the tube before lunch (I have those stupid long stem tubes), then changed the tube again at lunch, after begging a tube from a sagging Shell rider. Lunch was great, char-burgers, and good news, the Dairy Barn was open! As we were ready to ride, who do we see, but IRONMAN GASH/DASH, forehead stitched up, hopping out of the back of the sag with bike in tow…ready to ride.
DASH, SLICK, and Mr. POPPINS set out together for about 200 yards to the Dairy Barn where chocolate malts that would make Ken Hoffman of the Houston Chronicle swell with pride, were ordered and slurped. I really do remember SLICK having a double burger just minutes before. The sun is now shining and we are off, trailing behind DASH, who still has all this pent up energy and is blazing a trail to Hallettsville and our overnight stop in Moulton.
All accounted for…….
As the afternoon sun expired, various groups of CCRiders, including two of our newest members, Sherry, and A.J., wandered into the KC Hall, showered and clean for dinner and beer and a little wine, and in search of that precious commodity – sleep! CCRiders staked out an entire corner of the KC Hall, and pitched camp. All activities were held in the hall, so this was most convenient – we had the food, bathrooms, oldies DJ, and air mattresses all in one spot
LITTLE BO PEEP (Marilyn), was working the ride with her broken hand (mountain bike accident) and she provided some appreciated beer.
We got the whole hall of riders to sing Happy 50th birthday to Critz, and had homemade cookies and gag gifts.
Sunday, chili-willy….
Nobody really knows just why BABY RUTH’s cell phone alarm went off at 5am and woke the entire KC hall from slumber, but heck, the ride started almost 20 yards away in 2-1/2 hours so why sleep? Breakfast tacos, cereal, other goodies tucked in our tummies, we’re ready to ride, by about 6:00am. Only 1-1/2 to wait. It is cool, probably around 50, bright blue sky and lots of sun……the Alka-Seltzer team leaves together and dissolves completely in about 12 miles. Did I mention that new member A.J. rides a unicycle? So we now have a cool new unicycle division, in addition to the other assorted cycle fools and crazy riders on the team. Yes, he rode it all the way…and finished in the middle of the pack. A.J. told me he does the MS150 Bastrop Park every year on his unicycle…..and he juggles also…..
Sunday morning malts…..slurp
SLICK and I are trying a new 80 mile no-stop strategy, but suddenly with no warning in Seguin, at the 50 mile mark, the bikes veer hard left across the road in run smack into a Sonic….where chili-cheese dogs, burgers and fries and shakes were waiting. Munch, chomp, crunch, slurp and soon everything is gone, even one wrapper that SLICK mistook for a French fry and ate. Back on the road, wind and rough shoulder ahead for the last 30 miles.
The finish and final chapter……..
Everyone ultimately reconciles themselves to the sun, wind, road conditions, conditioning level and makes the finish line, enjoys a Central Market boxed lunch, hot water showers, and is ready to board the bus for Katy. A few of us are eating in the shade of one of the busses, and DASH pulls his car keys out of his pocket, makes some general announcement to us all about not wanting to leave these behind, and drops them INTO his cardboard box lunch, and 10 minutes later, THROWS THE BOX LUNCH away. Yes, of course his car keys were still in there! So when we get back to Katy, there we are, his truck locked tight, keys in the bottom of the dumpster in San Antonio, and remember how far DASH lives from Katy? One and one-half hours across Houston. Mrs. DASH was none too pleased at the prospect of a 3 hour round trip to Katy Mills on Sunday night, but she must love our DASH dearly because she made the trip. Imagine her surprise and delight when she noticed the stitches on his forehead, which he had neglected to report in earlier conversations…….OK, so this was not the best ride that DASH has made this year….
Welcome to new members A.J., and Sherry…..fore they are as crazy as the rest of us, and will fit in completely un-noticed except A.J. will be a little more noticeable leading our pace line on his unicycle! Plus Sherry brought 3 bottles of wine along as comfort food for the ride…she will certainly fit in well.
Submitted with no respect whatsoever,
Mr. Poppins
