The seven-day, 452-mile loop was set to commence and conclude in Longview. There were 175 riders from a dozen states and Australia. The men outnumbered the women nearly three to one. Ages ranged from 12 (our very own David Ashby III, a.k.a. "T-bone") to 83, the average being 49. The highest point was 719’ (Mt. Selmon) and largest climb in elevation was around 3400 feet. The biggest climb was outside of Rusk, mostly rolling hills and good roads.

Tim "Tonto" Carlson picked up Brent "Batman" Fisher to meet David "Dash" Ashby and his son, T-bone in Cleveland so we could caravan into Longview. Naturally, the first order of business was to begin carbo-loading by eating a scrumptious Tex-Mex meal. Despite the jug of iced tea, we managed to make it to Henderson before Tonto had to tinkle. The Saturday night pre-ride pig-out took place at a good Italian joint named Monjuni’s. The breakfast carbos varied from pancakes to French toast to oatmeal, but it was the bacon or sausage that seemed that seemed to keep coming up for air during the ride. Dinners of lasagna and jerked chicken were very good unless you are a vegetarian. It seems that East Texas folks have a difficult time comprehending this vegetarian thang. One night, "Hair Blower Girl" was concerned what the vegetarian meal would entail. I joked that she’d probably just get a salad. Sure enough, that was it. (I later saw her eating a Power Bar.) The white chili (and beans) provided way too much flatulent fuel for Tonto. The only thing that drowned out the passing of gas was the perpetual banging of the restroom doors in the gym that night. Apparently, everyone had to verify that he or she could let the door bang as well as anyone else. The greasy cheeseburgers for lunch in Fair Play slid down effortlessly and were the only choice for many miles in any direction. The deli at 94 and 1194 outside of Lufkin served a suprisingly tasty club sandwich on day three.

No ride would be complete without ice cream. We had cobbler a la mode one night that was more like soup by the time we had finished the main course (but it was still mighty fine). Another night, we upheld the tradition of riding in the back of a pickup truck as we escorted the TCC Queen (and "Princess") to the Huntington DQ for a blizzard.

Day four resulted in most riders opting not to ride to Crockett. This was also the day we four big city boys hitched a ride with the pizza delivery boy to Nickel Town Pizza. After the four of us scarfed down two jumbo pizzas, we were dismayed to discover that no more deliveries were being made back to the school (five miles away…in the pouring rain) and Crockett has no taxi service!? Tonto had neglected to pack any rain gear and decided to go to the nearby Wal-Mart to make an emergency purchase. T-bone, Dash, and Batman stayed behind as collateral because the owner of the Nickel Town pizza lent Tonto the keys to his Jeep. None of us had remembered to bring any phone numbers, so Dash used the Batphone to call home to get Sharon’s cell number. We tried to call Sharon, but she claimed she couldn’t hear anything but a reference to pizza. While at Wal-Mart, Tonto located fellow Chainringers who were waiting for the shuttle van. He implored them to pick us up at Nickel Town Pizza after he returned the owner’s Jeep. Meanwhile, Batman was sure that this little escapade would earn the Fantastic Four the dubious Golden Wheel award, so he bought some insurance (or bribe?) in the form of a commemorative Dale Earnhardt Coca Cola bottle for the ride director.

The "Big Suck" was busy pumping up numerous air mattresses. Some opted for the efficient Thermarest, but the truly hard-core (or private?) set up tents in the heat (or rain). Andy Quelch had flown in from El Paso with his bike. Unfortunately, his bags took an alternate route. He spent the night sleeping on a towel and used some wadded up socks for a pillow. Most nights were spent on the gym floor. But, one night we slept in a classroom that apparently was also used to store ice cream and other frozen delights. Dash loved it, but he is from Dayton. Another night the "pathetic lonely men" slept in the testosterone-rich field house weight room while those who had families, a spouse, or significant other sacked out in the main school. Lights were out from 9 PM to 5 AM, but that didn’t preclude noisy nocturnal endeavors. I was glad Dash brought an ample supply of earplugs and that I had remembered my eye mask! We set the alarm the first day for 4:45 to get a jump on breakfast only to find we were some of the last to awaken. Many riders were already dressed and packed. I stumbled into the men’s restroom to find wall-to-wall men, shaving, dressing, and one giving himself an on-the-spot stand-up bath.

Mechanical

Harold "Shine to Blind" Clayton detailed bikes each day. So after our well-meaning, but misguided ride director led us through the muck and mire of the Huntington school construction site, Tonto and Batman opted to get their respective bikes restored. At the onset of the next day, the batcycle was quieter and shifter more smoothly than any time in recent memory. Of course within 20 minutes, the rain showers returned. On day six, 45 miles into the ride, and a mere 16 miles from the finish, Batman was alarmed by an unfamiliar sound emanating from his black and yellow Spinergys. Plenty of time was allotted to fret over the status of the batwheels as more time was spent riding in the sag vehicle that day than pedaling on the bike. The rear cone was scored. While the carbon fiber spokes are good shock absorbers, they also amplify the sound of bad bearings. Scott Cook the mechanic re-greased the bearing so Batman could finish the final 48 miles with the group. The only other problems: Dash and T-bone lost the cap to the rear blinkie on "Carlos" (their Santana tandem) and Tonto invented "indexed" steering for his headset.

No matter how you slice it, the ride was wet either from perspiration or precipitation. Day one was hot and humid. In fact, one good ole boy set up a jug of ice water at the end of his driveway so we could re-fill our bottles. Someone else left his sprinkler set up in his yard so we could get invigorated by the cold well water…at least we think that is why the sprinkler was on…. Another day, we crossed the Angelina River as part of the Sam Rayburn Reservoir. The boat ramp was too great a temptation for Lee McCord, Dash, T-bone, Tonto, and Batman (inexplicably, Sharon opted to only take pictures). The five of us splashed, laughed, and cooled off before getting back on the road. Day three poured on the clothes hanging out to dry on the chain link fences. No matter, as day four was a bust for most. With the forecast sounding ominous, the majority of riders decided to bag it. I must admit I was a little concerned when I thought that Charlie was going to ride in the pouring down rain. I mean if maturity and wisdom have not kicked in by age 83, what hope did I have? Turned out the forecast was worse than reality, so day five we chose to ride. (Besides, the ride director informed us that there would be no bus service that day!) The hardest part was getting out of the parking lot. Once we were 100% saturated, what could the rain do? {Besides trash some bearings?} The rains lightened, but the overcast skies helped keep the temperatures down. As would be expected in a circular loop over seven days, the weather had ample time to adjust in order to maintain a steady headwind -- except for a two-mile stretch on day five.

Each night we were treated to talented folks. We had the Misfits in Timpson, the Cheerleaders in Apple Springs, the Gillette Brothers in Crockett, a dulcimer player in Jacksonville, and an Elvis impersonator in Henderson. While they were all outstanding in their own right, some of the best came from within those on the ride. 83-year old Charlie Oglivie spun a couple of yarns that had us all in stitches. I can only hope to be still riding my own "sweet Trekie" at his age. Wheel Crawford’s soliloquies on vegetarian meals and cheerleader concerns were a riot. Roy Longcrier can flat out fly on that ugly recumbent with the blue cardboard box, but his account of Bill Barnes’ food intake was hilarious. Sharon McCord needed the scantiest bit of information to fabricate a story to justify the nightly Golden Wheel. The camp meetings were anything but dull!

-Batman