I got up that Saturday and Steven wanted a round egg for breakfast and biscuits.
Then we layed on the couch together and watched Bugs Bunny. Later we were
making plans for his birthday the next Saturday. He wanted a gun that would shoot,
a plane that would fly, and a red wagon. He would be turning 4 years old.
That evening Steven , my daughter Tami (who was 17 at the time) and I went
to my brothers. My daughter decided she wanted to spend the night. Steven
and his cousin were out side playing. I was going to run home to get her some
clothes. I called Steven to ride with me. I wouldn't leave him except to go to work.
The night before he was going to the State Fair for the first time , but it was raining
so hard we were going to have to take him later. My brother told me leave
Steven and let him play. He told me I needed to start cutting those apron strings.
What are you going to do when he starts to school? So I went home and left
him in the yard with my brother and his cousin riding the tricycle.
I was getting my clothes ready and went to the store to get sandwiches for
our supper. I thought I would have that taken care of when we got back home.
My brother came running up and said they had called life flight that Steven was
hurt. My first thought was he got in the road and got run over. On the way to the
hospital I found out he had gotten into his 24 volt fence where my brother kept
his dogs. I got to the hospital and they took me to a room by myself and wouldn't
let me see Stevn. He had died at 7 p.m. He got into the fence at 5 p.m.
The ambulance got lost due to rezoning and remapping. By the time life flight
got there more time was lost. The Dr. in the ER at Vanderbilt said if he
could have gotten there 10 minutes earlier he may have lived. My brother's house
didn't have a house number on it. After Steven died they made everyone get
house numbers. Something good came from his death.
You know the strangest thing that summer he asked me where Heaven was.
I told him way up above the clouds and he told me, "I am going to live with God, my great granny,
and paw-paw." He was so serious. He had never talked about this before.
A Mothers Prayer
God give me the strength,
On this special day.
as only You can ,
In Your own way.
Help me understand,
Why you took my little man.
and while you're telling me if you would.
Also tell him I love him,
I know you could.
Only You know and understand,
What I'm feeling,
Sence I lost my little man.
I know you only gave him
to me for a while.
But oh i miss his sunny smile.
On this dark Mothers day,
Touch me in your special way.
Give me the strength to understand,
Where I fit in your master plan.
Lords it's hard you see.
To celebrate mothers Day with two,
when it's suppose to be three.
Walk with me down memory lane,
Then Lord please explain,
How to make it through this day,
This darkest day in May.
The turmoil going on inside of me,
Makes it so hard for me to see.
So Lord I know you can,
Please help me understand.
Written by Wanda Winfrey
For my son Steven
(on my first Mothers Day without him May 1989)
©~2004 WB/KAC~
