At Rise: We see what looks like a television studio, many
television workers
are setting up cameras, fixing lights, etc. A pair of red
curtains, at this
point open, are in the background to the left, a microphone
is up in the
front of the curtains, representing a makeshift stage. To
the right of the
stage two chairs are set up facing each other. DAPHNE,
wearing a fancy
dress, is sitting on one, going through some papers. Next to
the chairs are
two rows of phones set up and phone volunteers are sitting
down. A large
tote board with red numbers that flip is set up in the back,
at this point
set at zero.
1st Row: PETER
POTOMUS, SQUDDLY DIDDLEY, BOO-BOO,
DYNOMUTT
2nd Row: SHELLY, QUICK DRAW MCGRAW, SCRAPPY,
HUCKLEBERRY HOUND, JOHNNY QUEST
To the left of the makeshift stage, JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS
are busy setting
up their instruments. GEORGE JETSON, in a tuxedo, quickly
runs in from the
back and looks around in a state of panic.
GEORGE: Places everyone, places everybody, two minutes to
show time! (goes
over to JOSIE) Josie, aren’t you and the Pussycats supposed
to be going over
your music?
JOSIE: George, relax, we got it. You have us playing, ’Bring
Him Home’ once
every hour.
GEORGE: Oh, great news, you know that number, ‘Bring Him
Home’? It’s been
switched to ‘Wind Beneath My Wings.’ (he goes off)
JOSIE (sarcastically): That is great news.
(she turns to the band as GEORGE quickly runs across he room
and over to
SHAGGY, carrying doughnut boxes.)
GEORGE: Oh, Shag, Shag, what’s in the doughnut boxes?
SHAGGY: Doughnuts.
GEORGE: Great. Doughnuts go on the doughnut table, right
over there.
SHAGGY: Good thing I ran into you, man. (as GEORGE goes off)
Relax!
(GEORGE runs over to the chairs, stops when he sees DAPHNE)
GEORGE: Oh, Daphne, what are you supposed to be doing?
DAPHNE: Waiting for the show to start.
GEORGE: You’re doing a great job. (runs off)
DAPHNE: George, relax!
(GEORGE goes over to where the phones are)
GEORGE: All right, Phone Volenteers, is everybody ready?
ALL: Relax! (phone in front of JOHNNY QUEST rings)
GEORGE: All right, our first call, and we’re not even on the
air yet!
(JOHNNY QUEST picks up)
JOHNNY: Cartoons Who Care, Hanna Barbara telethon 05, Johnny
Quest speaking.
May I take your pledge? Oh, Hi, Shelly.
(GEORGE looks across the room, SHELLY is on her phone,
waving to him)
JOHNNY (handing phone to GEORGE): George, it’s Shelly, for
you. (GEORGE
takes phone)
SHELLY (into phone) : Mr. J, I brought my unicycle. (hangs
up and lifts
unicycle to show him. ) If ya need me, I’m ready to ride.
GEORGE: That is so thoughtful of you, Shelly, and gosh if
this show wasn’t
supposed to be entertaining, you’d be right in there!
(MR. SPACELY enters from the right)
MR. SPACELY: Jetson? Oh, Jetson. I gave you 24 hours of air
time on my
station because I have total confidence in you. NOW DON’T
SCREW THIS UP!!!
GEORGE: Don’t worry, Mr. Spacely, everything’s going along
just fine.
MR. SPACELY: Than how come you’re not wearing any shoes?
(GEORGE looks down, sees he has stocking feet)
GEORGE: Oh, uh…because, I wanted to impress you with my
brand new designer
socks! (laughs nervously) WARDROBE!! (begins to dash behind
the curtains
stage manager ALAN comes over to him)
ALAN: We’re on the air in five seconds everybody! (GEORGE
gasps and runs
behind the curtain as they close and ALAN counts down) Here
we
go…four…three…two…(Points to PUSSYCATS who play an intro.
JOSIE points to
MELODY, who does a drum roll)
JOSIE: Welcome to the Cartoons Who Care Hanna Barbara
Telethon 05! And now,
your host of the show, the star of The Jetsons, George
Jetson! (GEORGE comes
hopping out from behind the curtains to applause as he puts
his shoes on.
The band finishes just as he does.)
GEORGE: Thank you, Josie and The Pussycats! Welcome to the
first annual
Cartoons Who Care Hanna Barbara Telethon 05. Our goal is to
raise one
million dollars in the next 24 hours to raise money for
diabetes research.
Right now our phone lines are open and volunteers are
getting ready to take
your pledges. Here’s our own Scrappy Doo, to give you the
number you can
call. (gives mike to SCRAAPY)
SCRAPPY (calmly): To make a pledge, dial 555-H-E-L-P. That’s
555-HELP.
(suddenly stands up, full of excitement) Hi to all my
friends who are out
there watching me on TV!! Hi to all my family, my Uncle
Scooby is here,
and…(Quickly GEORGE takes mike back)
GEORGE: Scrap, buddy, it’s only a 24 hour telethon! (laughs)
Ok, and now
Ladies and Gentilemen for our first act, say hello to one of
the funniest
comics you’ll ever see, and that’s not just show-biz chatter
cause I DO know
him personally, say hello to Shaggy Rogers! (JOSIE AND THE
PUSSYCATS play an
into as SHAGGY comes out from behind the curtains. SHAGGY
STANDS IN FRONT OF
THE MIKE AS APPLAUSE COMES)
SHAGGY: Like, thank you, thank you!! Oh, come on now, man!
Come on! Like,
yeah it's nice to be here. Man, like Scoob and I just flew
in here from LA
(SCOOBY LEAPS FROM IN BACK OF SHAGGY)
SCOOBY: Rand roy rre rour rrms rired! (AUDIENCE laughs)
SHAGGY: Like, ya know, it's really nice to be here, man. But
I gotta warn ya
man, you might not all be safe, seems like whereever we go,
there's ghosts,
right, Scoob?
SCOOBY: Right!
SHAGGY: Like, it's gotten so bad man that I hopped on a
plane once to visit
my family....the crew saw me there...they evacuated the
plane! (AUDIENCE
laughs) I tell ya man, I once wanted to go to a shop to buy
a nightlight,
the salesperson called in a priest to exorcise it! (AUDIENCE
laughs) I tell
ya man. Like, whenever I go to Church, instead of dipping my
finger IN the
Holy Water, the Pastoral Assistants DRENCH me in it!
(AUDIENCE laughs). And
it BURNS, that's the scary part..(AUDIENCE laughs) And now,
Ladies and
Gentilemen, like, for your enjoyment, I;d like to perform
some of my
wonderous singing for you. (SCOOBY runs backstange and pops
a tape in.
DAPHNE watches from backstage)
DAPHNE: Oh, he's not going to...
(From offstage, the sounds of BRITTNEY SPEARS 'Oops, I Did
It Again' fills
the air. SHAGGY does a whole lot of bumping and grinding and
very bad
lip-synching to it, causing the AUDIENCE to crack up DAPHNE
whipes tears
from her eyes, she's laughing so hard. AUDIENCE claps) Like,
thank you,
thank you so much! And now, Ladies and Gentilemen, to
astound you with
amazing feats of magic, Snagglepuss! (SHAGGY and SCOOBY
Leave after a final
bow and SNAGGLEPUSS arrives dressed in a bow tie and cape)
SNAGGLEPUSS: Thank you, thank you, thank you, you’re all so
kind, you are
indeed! Entering, Stage right! But, before I begin, how about a big, big
hand for this band, Ladies and Gentilemen! (audience
applauds as JOSIE AND
THE PUSSYCATS wave and aknowledge them) Let’s hear it for
this band, aren’t
they just the most talented young Ladies? Indeed they are,
they are indeed!
All right, Ladies and gentlemen. Now for my first amazing
illusion, which
will astound you, (from his cape he produces two huge silver
rings) Now, I
would like you to observe, two rings, made of the strongest
silver.
Unpenitrable even! (bangs ground with rings to show they are
unable to be
broken through. Bangs them together as well) Now I shall
attempt to peirce
through these rings and have them intertwine, I will indeed!
(he then bangs
rings together once, twice, three times, on the third try,
they are linked.
Audience applauds. ) Thank you, thank you. (then he proceeds
to separate
them) Now a lot of you are wondering how I did it, well.
(twirls one ring on
hs wrist while he puts the other one away. The ring then
bends in his wrist
until it forms a triangle) the truth is I spent a lot of
time in the pool
hall. (audience laughs. SNAGGLEPUSS then bends it into a
square and hold it
up to his face) For all those of you wondering, this is how
I look on TV!
(audience laughs. DAPHNE then enters carrying round table on
which lays a
small bag, a small silver tray, a mallet, a pitcher of milk,
and a
newspaper) Oh thank you, Daphne Blake, Ladies and Gentlemen,
our stage
manager! (DAPHNE smiles, embarrassed at the applause and
bows quickly,
preparing to leave) Oh wait Daphne, you can help me with my
next trick. I
need something…maybe…a watch..happens you have one, Daphne?
DAPHNE (glances at her wrist) : Well, I do happen to have
this one…but it’s
very expensive..
SNAGGLEPUS: Yeah, that’ll do. (DAPHNE then takes it from her
wrist and gives
it to him)
DAPHNE: But be very careful, that watch has 26 jewels on it.
SNAGGLEPUSS: Don’t worry, it’ll be extremely safe with me,
indeed it will,
it will indeed, and just to make sure, I’ll proceed to place
it in this bag.
(puts it into small bag. Then he picks up mallet and
proceeds to put bag on
tray and hit it repeatedly.) Just killing time! (audience
laughs as DAPHNE
looks on, horrified. Finally SNAGGLEPUSS emptys the bag, of
course now
nothing more than gears and crumbled pieces spill out. He
pokes through
mess, counting) 24.…25...yep, 26 jewels. There you go.
(hands tray to
DAPHNE, who looks as if she might cry.) Oh, no need to
fear…you see, THAT’S
not your watch at all! Indeed, you watch is…(slaps his wrist
and rolls up
his sleeve) Right here! (takes it off and gives it back to
DAPHNE)
DAPHNE: (laughs) Oh, I get it, you had another watch in
there!
SNAGGLEPUSS: One, I got a million of them! (rolls up sleeve
even more to
reveal hundreds of watches on his wrist. Audience laughs as
DAPHNE leaves)
For my next amazing illusion, (picks up pitcher of milk) An
ordinary pitcher
of milk, you say? (puts it down, picks up paper) An ordinary
newspaper, huh?
Nay,nay, Now I proceeds to roll up the paper..(He rolls
paper up into a
cone, then pours mlk into it. Picking up cone, he waves it
around) When I
unroll this paper, you expect to find a mushy mes, you think
How wrong you
all are! (unrolls..clean, dry paper Audience applauds) Thank
you, thank you.
Now, for my grand Finale Ladies and Gentlemen, I will
attempt to fully
astound you. (moves back from curtains and to the left,
taking mike with
him) Ladies and Gentiemen, my lovely assistant, Debbie, and
the Cabinet Of
Mystery! (curtains open as DEBBIE from SPEED BUGGY comes out
dressed in a
lovely, sequined,
formal blue dress and pushing a cabinet her size in front
of her. Curtains close as music begins. The cabinet is made
up of three
separate parts. The door in front is also divided into three
so that one
portion can open while the others remain closed. There are
also two huge
slots between the first and second and second and third
portion. There are
holes cut into each portion for the head, a part of the stomach, the left
hand, and the right foot. There are two metal platforms to
the left of the
second portion designed to hold the second portion. DEBBIE
stands in front
of it while SNAGGLEPUSS come over to her) Isn’t she just
lovely Ladies and
Gentlemen? Indeed she is, she is indeed. Now, into the
cabinet. (SNAGGLEPUSS
comes over and opens up the cabinet. DEBBIE then removes her
shoes one at a
time and tosses them backstage. She then enters the cabinet
and gives a
small wave ‘goodbye’ as SNAGGLEPUSS closes first the top
part, DEBBIE’S head
sticks out. Then the middle part is closed, he portion of
DEBBIE’S stomach
and her left hand sticks out. The bottom part is closed, her
right foot
sticks out. Audience applauds. SNAGGLEPUSS picks up a huge
metal blade from
the metal platform. He slides it into the first slot, DEBBIE
improvises an
‘Ow!’ as it slides into place, all the way through the
cabinet and out the
other side! SNAGGLEPUSS then picks up a second blade and
slides it into the
second slot. SNAGGLEPUSS then waves his hands magically and
slides out the
second portion and rests it between the platforms. He
then picks up a
hankerchief and hands it to DEBBIE’S left hand, in the
middle portion to
show she is indeed cut into thirds. He then proceeds to
tickle her stomach
that is sticking out. She laughs and giggles.)
DEBBIE: STOP IT!!!!
SNAGLEPUSS: Oh, sorry.
The Cabinet Of Mystery, Ladies and Gentilemen!!
(audience applauds, SCRAPPY stands offstage, his mouth
agape) Now, now,
Ladies and Gentlemen, for the hard part. Putting her back
together! Melody,
if you please? (MELODY starts a drum roll, SNAGGLEPUSS
starts to push the
middle section back into place…except it gets stuck.
SNAGGLEPUSS hesitates,
then tries again…it will not move at all. Finally in
frustration he slams
his fist into the portion and tries once more…no luck.
Finally he kicks it
with his foot…and all that ends up happening is that he hops
around the
floor holding his foot.) Ow, ow, ow, OW!!!
DEBBIE (laughs nervously) : Get me out of here!
SNAGGLEPUSS: Well…ah, hah…while I go running for help,
Ladies and Gentlemen,
why don’t we bring out the next act?
DEBBIE: I AM the next act! I’m singing a duet with Mark!
SNAGGLEPUSS: Well, uh...in that case Ladies and Gentlemen,
the song stylings
of Mark Su and the Deborah McCrimmon trio! Exiting, stage
right! (runs off
quickly)
DEBBIE: Snagglepuss! SNAGGLEPUSS!!! (MARK enters to aplause
from the
curtain, dressed in a tux. He nods to the band and looks
around for DEBBIE.
The band begins to play as he takes mike and moves to the
middle of the
stage, right next to the cabinet. He doesn’t know quite what
to make of
this. )
MARK (confused) : Debbie?
DEBBIE: In here.
(MARK shrugs and goes to the front of the cabinet as he
begins to sing ‘WHAT
I DID FOR LOVE‘ from “A CHORUS LINE“)
MARK (singing) :Kiss today goodbye…(holds mike in front of
DEBBIE)
DEBBIE (singing): Maybe we should do this later…
MARK (singing) : No, we do what we have to do…(tries to take
DEBBIE’S hand,
she snatches it away. He sings) And I can’t regret it…(holds
mike to DEBBIE)
DEBBIE: Oh you’re gonna regret this!
MARK (singing): What I did for love, what I did for
love…(spins around the
cabinet as he gives mike to DEBBIE and they sing the rest of
the song. While
he dances with the cabinet. While this is happening
SNAGGLEPUSS has
re-entered with TINKER, who’s carrying a blow-torch.
SNAGGLEPUSS explains
the situation, while TINKER listens, then lowers his goggles
and works on
the portion.)
MARK: (singing) : Kiss today goodbye (gives mike to DEBBIE)
DEBBIE (singing) : Kiss my career goodbye!
MARK (singing) :Point me toward tomorrow…
DEBBIE (singing) : Point me toward the EXIT…
MARK (singing) : Wish me luck..(notices DEBBIE) Same to you!
DEBBIE: Yeah, the same to you, fella.
(TINKER by now has finished and has taken off his goggles, nodding
to
SNAGGLEPUSS. SNAGGLEPUSS then waves his arms around in a
magic way. He then
pushes in the middle part..and it goes in smoothly this
time! He then
removes the blades from the slots and unfastons the locks on
all three parts
of the door. All the while MARK is singing the last parts of
the song)
MARK (singing) : Oh, cant forget, won’t regret, what I did
for love..(helps
SNAGGLEPUSS push in the portion and fastion it into place)
What I did for
love. What I did for…
(SNAGGLEPUSS opens the doors and DEBBIE comes out. MARK and
DEBBIE come out
and sing the final verse of the song and SNAGGLEPUSS and
TINKER stand behind
them, hold out their arms and join them in the last word)
ALL: Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove!! (audience
applauds)
GEORGE (RUNNING IN AS CABINET IS BEING DRAGGED OFF) : Thank
you, thank you
Debbie, Mark, Snagglepuss...and Tinker! (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS):
Ok, now, Ladies
and Gentilemen, it's time to check our telethon tote board.
Let;s turn the
mike over to our lovely co-host, Daphne Bake, over by the
phones. Daphne?
(CROSSES OVER TO DAPHNE WHO IS STANDING WITH A MIKE IN FRONT
OF THE PHONE
VOLENTEERS. THE PHONES ARE RINGING LIKE CRAZY AND THEY'RE
BUSY TAKING
PLEDGES.)
DAPHNE: Thank you George. Well, it's time to check the total
so far and see
what we have. Melody? (DRUM ROLL IS HEARD. THE RED ZEROS
THAT ARE IN BACK OF
THE PHONES THEN START TO TURN SLOWLY UNTIL THEY HIT $1000)
$1000!! (AUDIENCE
APPLAUDS) Not bad for the first hour of the show! We have
many more funny,
incredible and entertaining acts planned for you, so please
keep those
pledges coming! George, over to you!
GEORGE: Thank you, thank you, Daphne. Now, although $1000 is
wonderful, we
HAVE to hit one million by the end of our broadcast. So,
please keep those
pledges coming, like Daphne said. Alright, now for our next
act, we have
cameras all set up outside the arena for an incredible
performance by our
one and only Speed Buggy! (AUDEINCE 'OOHS' AND
"AHHS") Ok, now we're gonna
take it outside now for Speed Buggy and his owner and
trainer, Tinker.
Tinker, are you there?
(CAMERA NOW GOES RIGHT OUTSIDE THE STAGE TO WHERE A LARGE
OBSTICLE COURSE IS
SET UP. SPEED BUGGY IS JUST FINISHNG GETTING A LUBE JOB FROM
TINKER, WHO IS
OUTSIDE WITH HIM)
TINKER: Howdy, George! I'm here!
GEORGE: Well, now, is Speed Buggy all ready to go?
SPEED BUGGY: R-r-ready as I'll ever be. Oh yeah, oh boy!
TINKER: Well, that says it all!
GEORGE: Ok, now what's the first thing he's gonna do for us?
TINKER: Well, first thing Speedy here's gonna do is ride
full speed around
those cones, and right up that ramp, and over this huge
pool! (CAMERA NOW
PANS OUT TO SHOW POOL OVER 30 INCHES LONG!)
GEORGE: WOW! Well, audience you heared him! If he makes it,
it will be
amazing! If he doesn't he's gonna get a real cold bath!
SPEED BUGGY: No way, no, way.vra vroom a zoom zoom!
TINKER: Well, he's ready to go!
GEORGE: Then go to it!
TINKER: Ready, Li' Buddy? Let's go! (PULLS OUT REMOTE
CONTROL)
SPEED BUGGY: R-r-Roger Dodger, Tink! Vra-room a Zoom-zoom!
(HE GOES OFF TOP
SPEED AROUND THE CONES AND UP THE RAMP. TAKING A DEEP
BREATH, HE MAKES IT
ALLTHE WAY OVER AS AUDIENCE APPLAUDS WILDY).
GEORGE: Well, that's amazing! What does this little car have
up it's sleeve
next?
TINKER: Well, what we're gonna have Speedy here do next is
climb up this
little bitty ramp up here, and walk over this tiny thin
wire..
GEORGE: Wait, wait, this little car is gonna drive up that
wire..
TINKER: Not DRIVE, George, walk! Speedy's gonna walk!
GEORGE: Wait, wait wait..a CAR? WALK?! (laughs) Now how can
a car walk?
TINKER: Oh, Speedy can! Can't ya there, Speedy?
SPEEDY: R..R...Roger dodger Tink....Varoom-a-Zoom-Zoom!
TINKER: And then he's gonna fly right through that hoop at
the end!
GEORGE: He IS! So, to review, this little car is gonna drive
up the ramp,
WALK that tiny little wire, and drive THROUGH that tiny
hoop?!
TINKER: That's right!
GEORGE: This I gotta see!! How about it, audience, you wanna
see it?
(AUDIENCE CLAPS AND WHISTLES)
TINKER: They wanna see it, Speedy! Go to it!!
SPEEDY: Roger, dodger, Tink! Varoom-a-zoom-zoom! (HE TAKES
OFF VERY QUICKY
AND BEGINS THE ASCENT UP THE RAMP. SOON HE'S ON THE THIN
WIRE.)
GEORGE: Well, I never would have believed it. Ladies and
Gentleman, this car
is walking! He's WALKING!! (AUDIENCE CLAPS)
(SPEED BUGGY WALKS VERY CAREFULLY ON THE THIN WIRE. BUT SOON
HE BEGINS TO
LOOSE HIS BALANCE. AUDIENCE GASPS AS HE TEETERS AND TOTTERS,
LOOKING
WORRIED. TINKER SPEAKS INTO THE REMOTE, SOUNDING CONCERNED.)
TINKER: You can do it, Little Buddy! Remember, don't look
down! Go slow,
real slow!
(SPEED BUGGY TAKES A DEEP BREATH, AND STICKS HIS HEAD UP
HIGH. BUT THE WIRE
IS SO THIN THAT IT BEGINS TO SAG. SOON SPEED BUGGY CANNOT
KEEP HIS BALANCE
AND TIPS OVER, BEGINNING TO FALL TO THE GROUND)
TINKER: Wing it, Speedy, you gotta wing it!!
SPEEDY: Roger-Dodger! (HIS FENDERS SUDDENLY JET OUT AND
BECOME SMALL WINGS
THAT GLIDE HIM SLOWLY RIGHT-SIDE UP AND HELP HIM FLY TOWARD
THE HOOP,
SUCCCESSFULLY FLYING THROUGH IT)
GEORGE: Whoa...I never would have BELIEVED that! Ladies and
Gentilemen, a
daring feet and a last-minute surprise by Speed Buggy!!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
GEORGE: Well, isn't that something? Ok, Tinker, what's Speed
Buggy's next
trick?
TINKER: Well, Speed here is gonna now attempt to set a
record! (AUDIENCE '
OOHS' AND AHH'S)
GEORGE: What kind of record, Tinker?
TINKER: Well, ya see these three little balls down here?
(TINKER points,
camera follows him and slowly pans over three balls of
different colors on
the pavement. Continues to follow path as TINKER talks)
Well, basically
Speedy is gonna attempt to walk on those balls without
popping them...
GEORGE: What was that? Walk on the balls without popping
them! Can't be
done!
TINKER: With Speedy here it can, he's VERY light on his
feet! (AUDIENCE
laughs) Then, while perching on this last ball, Speedy's
gonna do a
triple-loop and vault right over the roof of this entire
studio! (AUDIENCE
gasps)
GEORGE: Wait, wait, wait...you said..over this
studio...over..the
studio...Heh,heh..EVERYONE DUCK!! (AUDIENCE gasps)
TINKER: All set, Speedy?
SPEED BUGGY: All set a...a..all set. Varoom-a-zoom-zoom!!
(proceeds to start
up his engine. As a drumroll is heard, SPEED BUGGY carefully
perches upon
the balls, sowly walking on them carefully...occasionally
stumbing, or
acting like he's about to loose his balance)
GEORGE: And there he goes, Ladies and Gentilemen. If he
succeeds, it will be
an incredible stunt..if not..well, we're gonna have QUITE a
crash!
(SPEED BUGGY finally succeeds, remaining balancing on the last
ball.
Concentrating, he guns his engines.)
GEORGE: There he goes...he's starting up..getting
ready...(dunks down, comes
back up with crash helmet) So am I..and he's going to...
(SPEED BUGGY then sits up like a rocket. TINKER holds
remote)
TINKER: All right, Lil' Buddy..here we go! (punches buttons.
like a rocket
SPEED BUGGY shoots up. However, the sound of puttering is
quickly heard.
AUDIENCE gasps, GEORGE hides) Wing it, Speedy, Glide!!
SPEED BUGGY: Roger, dodger...(his hubcaps spread out into
wings and he
glides smoothly up and over studio. Finally he lands on
other side and rolls
back to TINKER to thunderous applause)
GEORGE: Amazing, amazing!!! Wow, give them a huge hand
Ladies and
Gentilemen, the Amazing Speed Buggy and his driver Tinker!!!
(camera goes
outside where SPEED BUGGY and TINKER give bows. Back inside
studio) Amazing,
aren't they?! Ok, Daphne, how'd the register on the tote
board?
(camera goes to DAPHNE by tote board)
DAPHNE: Amazing work, let's check it! (she turns to tote
board as drumroll
sounds and numbers once again roll up.) $3, 283! (applause)
Wonderful!! Way
to go, Speedy and Tinker!
GEORGE (clapping): Way to go! (suddenly he turns serious and
goes over to
sit upon a chair. A huge movie screen is right behind him,
at this point
blank) Ladies and
Gentlemen, I feel at this point in the program, we all
should take the time to focus upon the purpose of this
telethon. I would
personally like to tell you all of a very special friend of
mine, Caroline.
(CAROLINE’S picture then shows up on the monitor. As GEORGE
speaks various
pictures of CAROLINE appear one by one on the monitor, from
infancy up till
today) Caroline, as anyone of her friends will gladly inform
you, is a
happy, kind, good-hearted individual who is a joy to all who
knows her.
However, Caroline is not like most young ladies her age. You
see, Caroline
suffers from type A diabetes and has her entire life.
Caroline has
tried hard not to let this disease slow her down, she’s
an honors student who is currently completing her first year
of college,
where she hopes someday to become a teacher. She has a
loving family who
support her as well as they can, many friends, and even a
boyfriend who, she
says, is the best looking guy around!
But despite
these many blessings in her life, the diabetes is always
there. She has to give herself shots of insulin every single
day and stick
to a no-sugar, no sweets diet. She has to monitor everything
she eats and
make sure they are EXTREMELY balanced meals. She MUST take
in a certain
number of calories every day, and make sure she does NOT
skip a meal. She
even has to have at least two small snack breaks every day.
A failure to
remember these rules, if one meal or snack is skipped, and
she can go into a
dangerous insulin shock, which, if not immediately treated
in a hospital,
can lead to certain death. She also cannot get too hot or
too cold and must
watch the temperature at all times.
Caroline has
always been careful to watch her diet and the rules
that go with it, but she HAS ended up in the hospital on
several occasions.
She often feels left out of so many things. Not being able
to play sports so
as not to get too hot, not even able to make a snowman in
the winter.
Caroline has even said there are days when she wishes she
were never born!
She would not wish this horrid disease on anyone. Not even
her worst
enemies! She has said despite her many accomplishments, this
disease is a
horrid burden to bear. She would give all her accomplishments
up in a moment
if it meant she could live just one day like a normal
person. Able to stuff
her face with junk food, able to run outside all she wants.
Able to not have
to keep track of how much she’s eaten, or how many breaks
she’s had.
So, to all of
our viewers out there who are watching, for Caroline,
and for the sake of so many others who have to go through
what she is going
through now won’t you please give us a call and make a
Pledge? Ten dollars,
twenty, it doesn’t matter. Believe me, every little bit
helps to find a cure
for this disease. Please call now! (AUDIENCE applauds
solemnly)
(At this point the camera creeps up to the clock on the wall
and the hands
start rapidly flipping to indicate that hours are going by.
Superimposed
over the clock are more images. GEORGE singing along with
the PUSSYCATS,
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS donating a big check and shaking
GEORGE’S hand, the
tote board with the red numbers flipping, GEORGE backstage
drinking coffee
while on a small TV an image of SKIP and AUGGIE finishing a
tap dance.
GEORGE finishes the coffee in one gulp and runs onstage,
GEORGE and DAPHNE
standing in front of the phone volunteers as they check the
tote board, the
total is now up to $8, 977.00. Final image is of THE CHAN
CLAN finishing a
number. A wary and extremely tired GEORGE comes in front of
them as they
take a final bow.)
GEORGE (extremely tired) : Thank you, Chan Clan. Boy, do I
love that music.
OK,...uh….Daphne, why don’t we check that tote board? Daphne?
JOSIE: Oh, uh, Daphne went home to get some sleep.
GEORGE: Oh yeah…(gives a tired laugh) That’s right, I
forgot. She went home
to get some sleep. Sleep. (slowly he lowers his mike as his
eyes begin to
close and his head bows down. JOSIE then grabs MELODY’S
drumstick as the
rest of the PUSSYCATS hold their ears. She slams the cymbal
on the drums as
loud as possible, waking up GEORGE) Hey, I’m back! And
we…we’ve only
got..got a short while left…4 hours in fact, to hit
that…sack. I mean hit
the million dollar mark! (SCRAPPY, DEBBIE, and JOHNNY QUEST
then enter)
SCRAPPY, JOHNNY QUEST, DEBBIE: Hi, George!
GEORGE: Oh, look, it’s my friends back to answer the phones!
Hi, Friends!
SCRAPPY: Hi, George!
GEORGE: Hi, Scrap. Tell you what…(sees chair in the corner,
rolls it up to
center stage) Why…why don’t we just sit in this chair, and
rest awhile? Oh,
yes (sits on chair) A nice soft cozy chair, come here,
Scrap. (SCRAPPY goes
over and sits on GEORGE’S lap) So, Scrap, what did you do
last night?
SCRAPPY: I went to sleep.
GEORGE: You went to sleep! Well…aren’t you lucky. (laughs
from AUDIENCE and
GEORGE laughs) You were in your puppy bed..and you were all
comfortable
under the covers..and…then you close your eyes…(he then
closes his eyes as
his mike falls into his lap and he droops in the chair.
SCRAPPY tries to
rouse him)
SCRAPPY: George? George?
JOSIE (into her microphone) : Earth to George, Earth to
George!
SCRAPPY: Shhh!! (whispers)
George is sleeping!
JOSIE (whispering): Well, George has to put a show on for
the people!
SCRAPPY: I can do it!! (takes mike from sleeping GEORGE,
gets up out of
chair and stands in middle of stage. He then sings a chorus
of ‘How Much Is
That Doggie In The Window’. When he’s done, AUDIENCE
applauds. MR. SPACELY
then comes out and stands next to JOSIE, unable to believe
what he’s seeing)
MR. SPACELY: Why is a…a PUPPY hosting MY telethon?!
JOSIE: Well, it’s because George is (whispers) Sleeping.
(JOSIE HAS NOW CARRIED SCRAPPY OVER TO THE BAND AND IS
SINGING 'YOU ARE MY
SUNSHINE' IN A ROCK-AND-ROLL STYLE. AT THE END JOSIE BRINGS
SCRAPPY UP TO
THE MIKE AND HE JOINS THEN IN SINGING 'OH, YEAH!!' AUDIENCE
APPLAUDS AS
JOSIE TOSSES SCRAPPY UP AND THE BOW.)
JOSIE: Yeah! Ain't nothing to it, a puppy can do it!! So,
Shaggy, what's up
next?
SHAGGY (laughing shaking from next to the chair where GEORGE
is sitting-
still sleeping): Well, not George! (lifts GEORGE'S legs up
and wheels him
like a wheelbarrow off to a corner of the stage)
JOSIE: Well (laughs nervously) It..uh..it seems we have little GAP in the
entertainment if you will here at the 'Cartoons Who Care
Hanna Barbara
Telethon 2005. ' And...uh...not that we're in trouble or
anything, but I
know there are a lot of great acts in town this week..uh,
The Cattanooga
Cats, The Sundance Kids, uh...Grape Ape On Ice...uh..if any
of you are out
there watching...I..I'm not gonna beg, but..PLEASE, PLEASE,
PLEASE COME DOWN
AND HELP US OUT!!
MELODY (grabbing mike from JOSIE): Oh PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
WE'RE BEIING
YOU, PLEASE COME HELP US, PLEASE..
VALERIE (taking mike): Melody! Way not to beg! Uh, please,
it’s for a
wonderful cause, please help us..now..uh...what do you want
to do now,
Scrap? Wanna sing some more
SCRAPPY: Yeah!
(JOSIE picks up SCRAPPY and carries him to center stage)
JOSIE: Come on, do that singing you do so well! Here's your
mike back.
(GIVES MIKE TO SCRAPPY
SCRAPPY STARTS SINGING 'YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE' MR. SPACELY,
DAPHNE, AND SHAGGY
ARE WATCHING FROM CORNER OF STAGE- WHERE GEORGE IS STILL
SLEEPING IN CHAIR)
MR. SPACELY: NOW he's singing 'You Are My Sunshine'?!
SHAGGY: Oh,like don't worry man, aside from that middle part
he's pretty
good ya know?
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AS SCRAPPY BOWS)
MR. SPACELY: Congradulations! You two are now the hosts.
Your first
job..(NOTICES GEORGE) Wipe his chin!! (STORMS OFF)
DAPHNE: Well, now that we're the hosts, what should we do
first?
SHAGGY: I don't know, but I ain't whiping his chin!
(DEBBIE AND TEEN ANGELS COME FORWARD)
DEBBIE: I have an idea! I could do my dance to 'Love Shack'!
What do you
guys think?
DAPHNE: Great.
DEBBIE: I'll go get the tape! (RUNS OFF)
SHAGGY: Like, Brenda, why don't you and the Teen Angels sing
somthing?
BRENDA: Well...
SHAGGY: Thank you guys! (TEEN ANGELS SHRUG AND GO OFF)
Like, Scooby and I
can do some dog tricks as well!
DAPHNE: Go for it! (SHAGGY GOES OFF, DAPHNE REALISES SCRAPPY
IS ALONE ON
STAGE, RUNS IN AS HE'S FINISHING ANOTHER SONG, TAKES MIKE)
And there you
have it the fabulous singing of Scrappy Doo! Thank you very
much!
SCRAPPY: You're welcome, very much!
DAPHNE: All right! (SCRAPPY LEAVES AS AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AND
DAPHNE GOES OVER
TO JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS) Now, Ladies and Gentilemen, here
she is,
performing a dance to 'Love Shack baby', from 'Speed Buggy'-
the one and
only, Debbie!
(MUSIC STARTS AS DEBBIE , WEARING A BLACK SKIRT AND A WHITE
SPARKLY TOP,
POSES AS THE RED CURTAINS PART. SHE BEGINS TO DANCE AS ‘LOVE
SHACK’ IS BEING
PLAYED. THE AUSIENCE CLAPS TO THE BEAT AS THE DANCE
INCREASES AND DEBBIE
GETS MORE AND MORE INTO IT. AS THE SONG FINISHES SHE ENDS
WITH A CARTWHEEL
INTO A SPLIT. JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS PLAY THE FINAL NOTES
AS DEBBIE TAKES A
BOW.)
DEBBIE (BOWING): Thank you, thank you, thank you! Ok, now,
here they are,
directly from their own mini-van, three of the most talented
young ladies
you can meet, everybody give it up for Brenda, Taffy, and
Dee-Dee. Better
known as the Teen Angels! (AUDIENCE CLAPS AS DEBBIE GOES
OFFSTAGE. BRENDA,
DEE-DEE, AND TAFFY, ALL WEARING IDENTICAL PINK OUTFITS, ALL
COME ON THE
STAGE.)
BRENDA (singing): Down the bay where the nights are gay
DEE-DEE (singing):And the sun shines daily on the mountain
top
TAFFY (singing): I took a trip on a sailing ship
ALL (singing):And when I reached Jamaica I made a stop
ALL (singing): But I'm sad to say I'm on my way
Won't be back for many a day
My heart is down, my head is turning around
I had to leave a little boy in Kingston town
Down the market you can hear
Ladies cry out while on their heads they bear
`Akey' rice, salt fish are nice
And the rum is fine any time of year
Sounds of laughter everywhere
And the dancing girls sway to and fro
I must declare my heart is there
Though I've been from Maine to Mexico
But I'm sad to say I'm on my way
Won't be back for many a day
My heart is down, my head is turning around
I had to leave a little boy in Kingston town
But I'm sad to say I'm on my way
Won't be back for many a day
My heart is down, my head is turning around
I had to leave a little boy in Kingston town
(AUDIENCE applauds as TEEN ANGELS bow)
TAFFY: Thank you, thank you. Now here they are with a bundle
of tricks up
their sleeves, please welcome back to the show, Shaggy
Rogers!! (applause as
SHAGGY and SCOOBY
come out and bow)
SHAGGY: Thank you, like tank you, man. Now, let me introduce
our lovely
assistant, Daphne Blake! ( applause as DAPHNE comes out
pushing two trunks,
which she sets up on the stage.) Ok, man. Now like the first
trick we’re
gonna do for you, you’ve heard of how dogs dance? (AUDIENCE
mumbles) Like,
they sit up on their hind legs and wobble on ‘em, right?
Well, like, not
THIS dog! Josie? (JOSIE nods and signals to PUSSYCATS, who
play a rousing
melody.) K, Scoob, like, go to it, start dancing! (SCOOBY
smiles and not
only gets up on his hind legs, he grabs hat and cane DAPHNE
hold ut to him
and starts to dance a cabaret-style number as AUDIENCE gaps and murmers.
Soon applause is heard and SCOOBY makes final bow, handing hat and cane
over to DAPHNE as she gives him some Scooby snacks) Like,
what a smart dog,
huh, folks? Well, like, that’s not the only trick Ol’ Scoob
here can do! No
way, man! Now, our next feat..(DAPHNE brings out two hops from trucks, one
a little smaller than the other. She stands up on the stage
and holds them
out so the smaller one is higher than the bigger one) Now,
like, what Scoob
will atrepmt to do here, man, is take a running jump, go
through the big
hoop, then dive through the smaller one!
SCOOBY (looking nervous): Ruh, uh! Ruh uh!
SHAGGY: Oh, like come on, Scoob!
SCOOBY: Ro Ray!
SHAGGY: Scooby! Like, everybody’s waiting!
SCOOBY: Ro!
SHAGGY (in sing song voice): Oh, Scoob, how about if I give
you a Scooby
snack? (nods to DAPHNE , who beckons him with two Scooby
Snacks. SCOOBY’S
eyes light up)
SCOOBY: Rooby rack? Rell, Rok!
SHAGGY: Like, Melody? (MELODY starts a drum-roll on the
drums. SCOOBY takes
a deep breath, makes a running start..and goes up the stage,
first going
through the big hoop, then the smaller one. AUDIENCE
applauds. DAPHNE gives
Scooby snack) Is he a great dog or what? (applause) Now man,
the next trick
by Scoob is (looks over at DAPHNE, setting up a wire over
small pool of
water) Like, Scooby will balance along that wire over that
pool, all the way
to the other side!
SCOOBY: Rot Re!
SHAGGY: Scoob, we rehursed this!
SCOOBY: Ro!
SHAGGY: Don’t ya want more Scooby Snacks?
SCOOBY: Rore?
DAPHNE (holding up box): Lots more, Scoob!
SCOOBY: Rok! (SHAGGY nods to MELODY, who begins a drum roll.
SCOOBY shakily
climbs the ladder up to the wire. He grabs long pole to
steady himself and
begins to walk. He trembles a bit..but makes it to the other
side. DAPHNE
applaudes and gives him whole box as SHAGGY comes over and
pats him)
SHAGGY: Like, isn’t he great, folks! Like, the best dog in
the world! Let’s
hear it for the Amazing Scooby Doo!! (huge applause as
camera goes back up
to clock. Four hours go swiftly by and as camera pans out
again, we see
SHAGGY in front of band as they play Bruce Springsteen.
SHAGGY then attempts
to sing, ‘Born In The USA’ in a bad Bruce Springsteen voice,
causing JOSIE
to hold up her hands in the middle of it, silencing them)
JOSIE (putting up hands): Hold it, hold it, hold it, will
ya..cut it
out…stop it!! (in mike) Daph, PLEASE do something before he
starts doing
Tina Turner!
DAPHNE (holding phone in hand): Well, Josie, I have a woman
on the phone
who’s willing to pledge $200 if Shelly will ride her
unicycle.
JOSIE: Gosh, that’s a generous offer, but unfortunately
Shelly isn’t here.
SHELLY’S VOICE (from offstage) : Guess again! (she then
rolls in on her
unicyle and goes over to where GEORGE is still sleeping)
Thanks for calling,
Mom! (signaling to band) Sabre Dance in G, hit it, Ladies!
(bands starts to
play ‘Sabre Dance’ as SHELLY rides her unicycle around
GEORGE in chair. That
does the trick as GEORGE wakes up then and sees SHELLY in
unicycle moving
around him)
GEORGE (moving around in chair, trying to slow SHELLY down)
: Shelly?
SHELLY?! What are you doing? I told you you
couldn’t…(finally gets up off of
chair and chases SHELLY off as AUDIENCE applauds her) God,
close my eyes for
two minutes, it’s the Shelly telethon!
(SHAGGY and JOSIE come up to him)
SHAGGY: George! Like you been out for four hours,man!
GEORGE (glances at watch, in state of panic): Four HOURS?!
Why didn’t
somebody wake me! Oh my God, I…I’m ruined, I ruined the
telethon, my life is
over!!!
(DAPHNE runs up to him, mike in hand)
DAPHNE: George? (laughs nervously) We’re still on the air!
GEORGE (quickly switching tunes, looks directly at camera
with frozen smile
on his face) That concludes the dramatic portion of our
show!
SHAGGY: George, man, relax, we took over as host for ya!
Daph, myself, the
girls (points to band) Scooby did some tricks, it went
extremely…OK.
GEORGE (sounding relieved): Thanks,man, you guys are the
best!
SHAGGY (pats GEORGE on back and exits): Go get em!
DAPHNE: Ok, well, let’s look at our new total…..(drum roll
as numbers roll
up to $960,000)
GEORGE: $960,000!! (AUDIENCE applauds) Well, we’re doing
great, but we gotta
hit that million dollar mark by the end of the show, the kids are counting
on ya!
(MR. SPACELY comes out from behind the curtain, looking
excited)
MR. SPACELY: Guess who’s here?! (notices he’s on the air,
hesitates for a
moment. Finally he runs toward them all excited again) Guess
who’s here! One
of the Sundance Kids! Merilee! And she’s right over there!
(gestures behind
him. There’s no one there. Painics, he moves t the spot he
pointed to)
Where…where did she go?! I..I lost her! I lost a whole
Sundance Kid!!!
(MERILEE then shows up from the other side of the stage)
MERILEE: Excuse me, I’m over here! (MR. SPACELY gestures
toward her. VALERIE
comes over quickly and eagerly shakes her hand while the
AUDIENCE applauds
and GEORGE and DAPHNE stand mouths agape)
VALERIE: Hey, Merilee! What are you doing here?
MERILEE: Well, I heard you begging for help. I think it’s a
worthy cause,
and one to one I think we can pull this off.
GEORGE: You’d really put us over the top if you’d sing a
song.
MERILEE: Well, I’d love to sing…maybe ‘Live To Love.’
(GEORGE gives her mike
and nods quickly)
GEORGE: Go to it! (goes off)
(MERILEE goes over to the band)
MERILEE (to VALERIE): We start the song, I sing, you play
tambourine.
(VALERIE nods) In the middle of the song..we pause..tell
Melody a little
drum roll.
VALERIE: Right! Got that, Melody?
MELODY: Got it. Little solo! Let’s hit it!
MERILEE (sings as music starts): We got to,
PUSSYCATS (singing):
Live to love
MERILEE (Singing):
Honey,
PUSSYCATS (singing):
Love to live!
MERILEE(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
(as song pauses, she points to MELODY who starts to play
‘little solo’,
apparently getting more and more into it. Se starts to break
down and really
pound on drums. MERILEE tries to stop her, but MELODY
doesn’t listen.
Finally MERILEE picks up sandbag and throws it at MELODY )
MELODY: You asked me to play a solo!
MERILEE (to audience): Ever since Ringo Starr we’ve had
problems lie this
with drummers! (AUDIENCE laughs) Let’s just go on, alright?
MELODY: Ok, all right.
MERILEE (sings as music plays):
MERILEE
(singing): While the
PUSSYCATS
(Singing):Lord above,
MERILEE (singing):
Gives us,
PUSSYCATS (singing): A time to love,
MERILEE (singing):
Let’s be happy while we can. Gotta be
PUSSYCATS
(singing):Happy while we can.
(Fans scream and yell as the song continues.)
MERILEE (singing):
Well, I can’t believe it, Honey,
Our
love is going under,
Over
such unimportant things!
We got to have a
discussion,
About
this fighting and fussing,
If we
wanna hold on to our thing!
Cause
we got to..
PUSSYCATS (singing):
Live to love
MERILEE (Singing):
Honey,
PUSSYCATS (singing): Love to live!
MERILEE(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
While
the
PUSSYCATS (Singing):
Lord above,
MERILEE (singing): Gives us,
PUSSYCATS (singing):
A time to love,
MERILEE(singing):
Let’s be happy while we can. Gotta be
PUSSYCATS (singing):
Happy while we can.
PUSSYCATS
(singing):Live to love
MERILEE (Singing):
Honey,
PUSSYCATS
(singing):Love to live!
MERILEE(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
While
the
PUSSYCATS
(Singing):Lord above,
MERILEE (singing):
Gives us,
PUSSYCATS (singing):
A time to love,
MERILEE (singing):
Let’s be happy while we can. Gotta be
PUSSYCATS (singing):Happy while we can.
PUSSYCATS (singing):
Live to love
MERILEE (Singing):
Honey,
PUSSYCATS
(singing):Love to live!
MERILEE(singing):
Come on, Darling, take my hand!
While
the
PUSSYCATS
(Singing):Lord above,
MERILEE(singing):
Gives us,
PUSSYCATS (singing):
A time to love,
MERILEE (singing):
Let’s be happy while we can. Gotta be
PUSSYCATS (singing): Happy while we can.
(GEORGE, SHAGGY, DAPHNE, and MR. SPACELY are with PHONE
VOLENTEERS)
GEORGE: Well, we’re almost at the end of the show, let’s
check the tote!
(all turn towards board. Slowly numbers turn and stop
at…$1,004,080!) WE DID
IT!!! (all shout excitedly and hug happily as balloons start
coming down on
stage) From ‘Cartoons Who Care’, we love you, thanks a
million!!! (all start
going over to stage and play with balloons that continue to
rain down as
credits roll)
