"and beyond the gates, leaves tear themselves, from the only limb they've ever known, to expirience the freedom, the uncertainty, of air"
-Jewel Kilcher-
~Night Falls~

Graduate

Class of 2000

The time has gone by so quickly! seems like it was just yeterday, when i walked nervously into my old high school. Harry S. Truman High School. i had the best 2 years of my life in that school..and now...i'm 2 weeks away from graduation. only in White County High School.
oh how i have dreamed about the day i graduated. but this is not how i saw it. i saw Jackie, and Heather , and everyone else that i knew and grew up with all my life, until i moved 600 miles away from them all, and from the only place i ever called home.
the time i had was all so taken for granted, a mistake that will not be repeated. i kept saying tomarrow i will do this...or next year i will change my style, and be with the "in-crowd". and i will be with my friends later. i put things off again and again, thinking that i will get to them later, but never did. i lost alot of time...but gained many lessons in the past few years. lessons that will stay with me for the rest of my life...wether i wish for them to or not.
but, with patiance and hard work, i'm going home! for the first time in 2 years i get to spend some quality time, and not rushed, in my hometown! to many, it sounds like no big deal, but to me, that was a big part of my life. it's my heritage, my home land, my stomping grounds, the only place i have ever really known!
i have learned my lesson. i've made my mistakes. they will not be repeated again! i missed out on alot of things that normal high school students get to do. i was too afraid of speaking my mind, afraid someone will disagree with me. i was too afraid to act out the way that was truely me...i was afraid people would think i was different. but i was different! i am different! i am me! and i was so afraid of being that, in case someone didn't like it. i just blended. but i am sick of blending. but how different is it ganna be when this is all over? who will be there to disagree with my thoughts? or not like what i am? will there be anybody? is my entire life about to change from a simple peice of paper? from a diploma? or is this ganna open everything up and finally make it make sence?
i guess i'll just have to wait and see. only two more weeks. i'm kinda scarred, but excited at the same time. the real world at last! i have waited so long to be considered an adult! it's amazing how much society put into a piece of paper. my entire life will ride upon it! my job, my income, my family! everything! life is full of legalitys. i'm beginning to think that it's all life is really about. i am judged by what my transcripts say, and not how i really am. that isn't me! there is more to me then papers that have been filed away cince i was born. people think you can judge how good of a worker you will be, how well you will be with others, and even your inteligence by these papers! it's not right! at the same time, people preach about not judging someone else.
i just hope the world will make sence once i'm out there, not considered a child anymore, a student, a statistic! someday, somehow....
here i come world! are you ready!? (am i ready?)