This is to any teen out there or young adult that is thinking of has thought of suicide as an option. I could sit here and nag and go on about how it isn't an option, but I know in reality now that many of you feel it is. It is so heartbreaking for me to know that. For someone to feel that death is better than life, then there is some really serious issues to deal with in your life and you are overwhelmed obviously. I am so sorry. All I want to do is give you some things to think about. Losing my son to suicide has opened up my eyes and heart in so many areas and please just give me the chance to talk to you.



First off I am so sorry you are feeling the way you do. If you are depressed enough to consider suicide, it is real to you. There is help out there for you, you need to speak up to someone you trust. If not your parents, then a teacher or a lot of the times it is a friends parent. There has got to be someone you trust out there that you can go to. You can go to a friend, but don't expect them to be able to do a whole lot. They are kids too and sometimes they are feeling like you are and are scared too. If you are a friend that someone has come to you asking for help, go get them help immediately! They are entrusting you with their lives. I learned after my son's death that his best friend knew of what Josh was planning and Josh had made that child make a promise that he wouldn't tell. Well that kid is now an adult now has to have that on his shoulders the rest of this life and that is so sad. Don't make a friend promise that, and if you are a friend to someone suicidal, don't promise it to someone else. It is so hard being a teen right now. The lifestyle that you all have is so fast paced and scary for you all. My heart goes out to you all. I have talked to many, many teens since Josh died. Many are suicidal, many have tried suicide. Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary situation. Those situations most of the time very serious of course, but alot of them are only temporarily. If you are in an abuse situation, tell someone. You have to find the strength from deep down to talk and open up to someone, but it can save your life. If you are a friend to someone that is suicidal, help them please. Sometimes they are afraid to tell you, but if you see actions in them that don't make sense, like giving away their prized personals, or saying goodbye to others, tell someone. You could save someone's life. If you are the one suicidal, please, please open up to someone. Email me if you want, I might be able to help you with some issues. All I know is that my son is dead from suicide, and suicide is something that I want to educate others about because it hurts a family so much. It hurts your friends, your loved ones, your pets look for you afterwards, you don't get to do things in life that you should like drive and date and marry and have kids. You don't get to get a job and buy things you want. You don't get to go to Prom or have that first kiss, first date. Your siblings grow up and have kids and those kids won't get to know who you are, only see your pictures. When my surviving son gets married, his brother won't be able to stand next to him as his best man. My son Josh won't know how it feels to hold your own child, to love something like no other love. My son Josh won't be here to watch his siblings grow up and do things he didn't get to do. He chose death. He was depressed. He couldn't look into the future. He could only figure out how to get out of the pain that was taking over him at the time. He isn't here now to see how I cry, how I miss him in my life so much. He isn't here for me to hug, to kiss. He isn't here to be held, or to hold. I miss him. Everyday I miss him. Please don't do what Josh did.

Also, I have a new email address so you can reach me anytime....it is angeljoshsmom@gmail.com please feel free to email me anytime....Debbie

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