*All images, pieces of literature, and ideas contained within this site are copyrighted and belong to their rightful owner, me (Jada). So if you wish to copy or paste said images, pieces of literature, or ideas, e-mail me and we'll talk about it.
*All images, pieces of literature, and ideas contained within this site are copyrighted and belong to their rightful owner, me (Jada). So if you wish to copy or paste said images, pieces of literature, or ideas, e-mail me and we'll talk about it.
Hey. Welcome to *~Vietnamburg~*
Also known as the lyrical outpourings of an insane genius
Polly was just beginning to cry, not with fear, and not even because he had
hurt her wrist quite fairly badly but with furious anger - C.S. Lewis
I never update. My jokes are outdated. The pictures are either too big or too grainy. But for some reason, somehow, they always come back. Always.....
Recently someone asked me something very profound. “Jada,
what are you?” This question struck me, as one might strike a child.
I then began to ponder. A quick enough answer did not come to me, so I told
the person this;
“I am a soul with power, yet, I am free; to float along the disembodied
towers of today, yesterday, and so many years gone by. I am the anti-Christ.
I am what religions wish didn’t exist. I am here. I am there. I am everywhere.
BUT, I am not where you are.”
“No,” I heard the questioner say. “That’s not what
I meant.”
“Well,” said I. “You must mean my ethnic background. I am
proud to say that I am pure Caucasian. I am no mudblood, my friend. Half Irish
and half Scottish. Might I inquire as to what you are?”
“Never mind!”
It was not until later that I realized I might have cut her off mid-sentence.
So there you are. That is I and I is that. If your powers of
perception are dim; the point I am trying to get across is that I am vain,
pale white, I personify false intelligence, and I don’t listen. I’m
a bad person.
Or so society says.
Well fuck you, society. I didn’t ask for your opinion.
This site is a reflection of me. Parts of it are creative. These parts are from the days of Joan. Other parts are funny, mostly to only me and my friends. These are the days of Robert and Jillian and Whitney. Anything before these days is the days of Mandy.
Here you will find the essence of TheJada. I sleep at least
11 hours a day, bathe twice a day, love my cat profusely, and have no place
in life. Ahh, what a wonderful feeling, to be human. Welcome to the apocalypse.
I'm big on plagiarism. Most of my ideas come from the boys at Funky-town. They're much funnier and more creative than I. Don't tell them that, though. I have a reputation to maintain. Plus, they're not too fond of me. I only keep a link to them for the sake of copyright laws. Seriously.
There was once a small, but quaint Town in the heart of a house situated on 2515 Waeverly Street. This Town had a small but everincreasing population of..two. This Town also existed for 40+ years before it ever took a name. Then one day everything changed.
A frequenter of This Town, a young nubile female named Angelina, found herself in the position of choosing her lifetime mate. She lived over the hill in the town of Hell. Her suitors were plenty, constantly trying to win the hand of the sexy young Angelina. However, one (man) in particular stood out.
He was a foreignor. His name was Tang. He told her stories of how he had come to live just outside Hell. His stories included a vivid description of how his mother and father had set him adrift in the Pacifist Ocean when he was only an adolescent of 10 years. Long had he traveled over many years to find the love of his life, the beautiful Angelina. Angelina was smitten. She took the handsome foreigner into her home and treated him as her husband. Eventually, she learned of his origins. His childhood home had been that of Vietnamburg, a country just south of France on the island of Cambodia. He missed his family and friends greatly. Tang would have an emotional out-pouring almost every night he was with Angelina. She began to feel his pain, and took to her bed along his side, grief-stricken.
While all of this was going on, over the hill the inhabitants of the Town without a name were bored. They challenged this boredom with explicit drinking episodes in which they sucked on the teets of a stuffed pig. This ritual later became known as the presidential election, but that's a different story all together. Jayduh had been the first permanent resident of the Town. She lived there by herself, such as Robinson Crusoe would have done on an island. But through articles, pamphlets, and other forms of propoghanda, she had managed to convince someone else to move into the dreary town. Together, they had many a drunken excursion.
But in the darkness, boredom loomed. The other inhabitant of the Town, Jone, decided it was time for a change. And one day, she started walking, and Jayduh tagged along like the lost puppy she was. It wasn't long before the two reached the top of the hill that seperated Hell and the Town without a name. They stopped for a minute and discussed the landmark decision that they were about to make. A minute turned into an hour, and an hour turned into a day. The sun fell and the moon rose and another day passed. It was there they remained for at least a fortnight, indecisive and all.
(Here we introduce another character)
It so happened that a Doctor passed by the two inhabitants of the Town on her way to work. Dr. White Knee stopped her car and inquired as to what the two were doing. When she heard their response, and noticed their indecisiveness, she told them to get off their lazy asses, make their way to hell, and save her a seat.
(This is where Dr. White Knee exits the story completely)
So they took her advice and finally made it over the hill to Hell.
Jayduh/Jone stepped on the porch and knocked on Hell's door. Angelina answered.
"Hello." Her face was streaked with tears.
"'Ello, 'ello" Jone answered and shoved her way into Hell. Jayduh hesitated at the doorway and slowly walked in past Angelina.
Then a magical thing happened. Tang walked out behind a curtain and showed himself to Jayduh/Jone. The two were stunned. They had never seen a creature of such beauty before. But his face too was streaked with tears.
"Why have you been crying?" Jayduh inquired indecisively.
"Life is miserable in Hell. We can't even have sex. We just lay on the bed all day and cry. We've nowhere to go." Angelina sobbed once more into her hankerchief.
And then that legendary lightbulb lit itself over Jone's head.
"Come live with us at our Town without a name, Tang can be our mascot." She beckoned them to follow her.
But all at once they heard Tang let out a huge cry. "It will never be like home!" he cried in desperation.
"And where is your home?" Asked Jayduh/Jone.
"Vietnamburg.." Tanh looked up into the ceiling of Hell as if he was remembering something from the past.
So they sat down on the floor of Hell and thought. And thought. And fuck if they couldn't come up with a single solution for either one of their problems.
(Ok, i lied, here's Dr. White Knee again)
Dr. White Knee just happened to be driving by Hell on her way back from work when she saw the lights burning through the window. She stopped her car once again and knocked on the door.
When she heard their story, she came up with a single solution once again.
"Well, since your Town does not have a name, " She said, looking at Jayduh/Jone "You can name it Vietnamburg, like Tang's home. The four of you can live there, and Angelina and Tang can have sex, no problem."
It seemed so simple. The four thanked the good doctor and Dr. White Knee went on her merry way once again.
(She's gone for good now, I promise)
So the four of them stole away from Hell in the middle of the night and made their way back to the Vietnamburg formerly known as Town. Jone made a little sign and hung it on the door of Vietnamburg, "please respect our privacy, knock" And Angelina and Tang had lots of sex from then on and no one was lonely anymore; Except maybe Dr. White Knee, but she had her own little midget at home to take care of...
Coming soon, Vietnamburg meets Funky-town
