Ok, here it goes, my first shot at a fan fic, second edition *******standard disclaimer here, think: This stuff belongs to Rumiko Takahshi and a teaming horde of lawyers, so please don't sue me, it's not worth it**** "What if?" A common enough question, but it seems to have so many variations that it is still quite popular... Well, I have a couple "What if?"s of my own. What if Genma and Soun had chosen a different cave in which to imprison Happosai? What if that cave (which was in a slight valley) was then covered with a nuclear power plant? What if over all those years, radiation was leaking into Happy's prison? Of course, the old letch is far too resilient for it to have too much of a lasting effect on him... though those first few moments after he awakens... Oh, one last note, I don't know where I got it from, but in my head (when I picture him speaking) Happosai's expression of contentment/happiness is "Sweeto" though I'm totally clueless as to WHY I think that... just bear with me on that point. Ok, that's enough with the "What if?" let's get on to the fic, already. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lawn Mower Productions is proud to present: Saturday Morning Ryouga A fanfic based on Takahshi's Ranma « Chapter 1(?): Ryouga Hibki crouched on top of a conveniently located (and, even more conveniently, thick, that boy is heavy!) telephone pole as he vainly surveyed the darkening horizon one last time for any sign of the tower that would tell him he was nearing Tokyo, and thus the Tendo Dojo and the warm bed and bosom of his beloved Akane Tendo. At the thought of Akane's bosom, Ryouga's face took on a strange expression, ie. not a nose bleed. Which was rather amazing considering that this was Ryouga and the thought concerned feminine anatomy. In fact, he didn't feel at all inclined to have any reaction other than a goofy grin. Actually he just had one thought on the whole thing: "Sweeto!" Wait a minute! Where did that come from? Anyway, he was starting to not feel so well. His arm was still bothering him from where that... THING had gotten a bite out of him. Now he was starting to feel faintly dizzy. Maybe he shouldn't have eaten that batch of berries he found. Maybe he shouldn't have skipped sleeping last night because he thought he saw Tokyo in the distance (it was Paris, just don't ask). Maybe he should get down from this perch before he has no choice in the matter.. *** She stood on the street corner cursing her bad luck. Of all things, letting the time get away from her like that and letting the sun set before she left work. Now it was starting to get dark, and even in a moderately sized city like this, it was hard to find a cab this late, and it was dangerous to walk the streets alone. Unfortunately, that's exactly what she was about to have to do. With a final sigh, she set off down the street in the direction of her tiny apartment, not even noticing the shadow that detached itself from its brothers to follow her. *** Ryouga landed lightly beside the pole but wobbled a bit as tried to walk. "Damn it, Ryouga, pull yourself together!" he thought. "How are you ever going to get back into the warm bed... and loving arms... and soft cleavage... oh, sweeto!" Ryouga punched himself in the side of the head. "Where is that coming from?" Suddenly, the uncertainty leaves Ryouga's stance and he senses that he must be somewhere else, soon. He moved off in a seemingly random direction, but with directness and purpose... In short, not in a Ryouga like fashion at all. Almost as an after thought, he pulled a off bandana and retied it around his face, the knot just under his nose. There was something soft and silky out there that was going to need his help. *** "Come on, lady, hand it over!" the menacing voice demanded. The poor victim slipped off her watch with shaking hands and held it out to her assailant. All she could see of him is the knife, which glinted dully in the hazy glow of city lights. Bathed in the shadows of the alley, the woman prayed that he had all he wanted, her purse, her watch, her necklace. Prayed quite hard. Unfortunately... "Get down on the ground! Now!" The knife wavered, threateningly, and the woman quickly obeyed, dropping to the filthy ground on her stomach. "Heh, heh... *OOOFFFFF*" There was a dull thud and a shape landed beside the prone woman, who was too frightened to look up. A minute or two passed before a different voice says, "Umm... ma'am, you can get up now." Warily, the young lady looked up to see that the dark shape beside her was her former assailant, now unconscious. Further exploration of her surroundings yielded more information, as well. A young man(?) in a yellow tunic and black leggings wearing a bulging backpack and an umbrella was standing at the mouth of the alley. She couldn't be sure if he was, after all, a he, because of the cloth that obscured most of his face. "What's a pretty young thing like you doing walking alone this late? Where do you live? I had better walk you back to your place... I mean, there may be more hooligans like this one," the young man continued, gesturing at the fallen mugger, "waiting to get their hands on your beautiful body." He helped her to her feet, retrieved her belongings, and followed her as she began to stumble toward home in a daze. *** Meanwhile, Ryouga was lost in thought, "Man, what's WRONG with me, I mean just last week I would have been on the ground with blood spurting from my face at the meer sight of a woman like this... especially one with such heaving bosoms and whose skirt is way too short and... oh..." Unable to stop himself, Ryouga broke into gleeful laughter, which, this being Ryouga, still managed to sound embarrassed. The woman turned to look at him, still unsteady on her feet. "What's wrong?" Ryouga inwardly berated himself, "Uh, nothing..." "Oh," was the best reply the woman could think of, her wits having been stretched a little beyond their end this night. Soon enough, they arrived at the lower-middle class apartment building where the woman resided and she turned to him. "Thank you for your help... I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come along..." the woman shuddered. "Um... if you would like to come inside for tea or something, I'd love to have you." Ryouga warred with himself over the invitation of a young... beautiful... grateful... . but, eventually, his desire for Akane won out. "Um... no, gotta be going... could you just point me in the direction of Tokyo?" The woman proceeded to inform him that it was 40 miles due north and gave him some rough directions (like they would help). That finished, Ryouga stepped forward, gave the woman a hug and stepped away. "Thanks for the directions, and be more careful in the future!" And with that he sprang away to the roof tops. *** The young woman stared into the night after her departed savior, still too disoriented by the night's events to make her way up the stairs. At that moment, she knew she would never forget the mysterious masked man. "He was so handsome... I think. He didn't take off that silly cloth the whole time... oh well... it certainly got cold all of a sudden..." With that the woman adjusted her clothes, only to find that she had less then she had started the night with. She was right about one thing, she would never forget her encounter with Ryouga... and if she ever got her hands on him.... *** Ryouga looked at the undergarments in his hands and thought, "What is happening to me? Have I turned into some sort of pervert?" Unconsciously, Ryouga slips the silkies into his backpack where they rest beside a fairly large number of others. " Everything was fine until... that day..." *** It was actually quite interesting the way some new discoveries come about. For instance, take Ryouga's latest discovery. The Baksi Tenketsu was developed by the Amazons for use in mining, but over the years, the Amazons gradually ran out of places to mine so the technique was more or less relegated to the roll of a neat combat trick. That and the added endurance it provided, via the training, were enough to keep the technique from fading out entirely. The warriors still trained in the method for at least a century, but even the most destructive warrior woman used it no more than, maybe, a half dozen times a month. Since most combats were just duels with other Amazons, it became even more pointless. I mean, what's the point in using an attack that your opponent is just as immune to as you are. The only fights where it came in hand where with outsiders, and those and dwindled greatly in past years as all outsiders soon became either too wise to encroach on the Amazon territory or too powerful to challenge directly. Ryouga, however, was a different story. He had a much easier time of getting from place to place if he could just "remove" obstacles instead of walking around them (sometimes several times). That meant one thing: practice. And lots of it, too. With daily (sometimes hourly) use, Ryouga began to unlock some of the secrets of the Blasting Point that had been buried by the sands of time. The greatest and most important of these was that an object had not one, but multiple points that would cause it to pulverize. Each point had it's own unique "flavor." Over time, Ryouga managed to hone his skill to the point where when faced with an obstacle like a 2 ton boulder, he could make it explode into millions of razor sharp pieces, fall apart into fist sized chunks, vanish into a mound of sand, or just fall in half, all with the touch of a finger and a liberal jolt of chi. Besides that, Ryouga made another discovery, he found that he didn't get lost as much underground. That meant, when Ryouga was near to his destination (usually the Tendo Dojo), he would begin to "tunnel" instead of walking on the surface. Three times out of seven he got where he was going in a matter of hours instead of days, which, for Ryouga, is a remarkable percentage. Though it took him quite a while to figure out exactly how far down he had to be to avoid the water pipes. *** Deep in his lair, the old one slept the sleep of the dead. Which wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as frightening if he actually was dead. Suddenly, there was sound in the crypt of the ancient master. A faint yell followed by one wall caving in. Then a form... a human form walked into the forgotten prison with his lantern held high. "Hmmm, that's strange, this isn't the surface...." it said. Maddened by his years of imprisonment and pained by the strange radiations that had tormenting him for the last twenty years, the old man was incapable of rational thought... Well, he did have one thought: "That... human... humans... put... me... here... take...away... panties... must... hurt..." Too late did it notice the wizened form on the ground now in the middle of a leap. *** Ryouga screamed as the... thing... bit into his arm. He swung his arm wildly and eventually managed to dislodge the creature which then bounded away down the tunnel. Fire crept into the bite, which caused it to pulse and throb, and his mind filled with desires and voices not his own. He had to get out of here, had to get back... to Akane... had to... find... some... panties... And with that he lapsed into unconsciousness. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To be continued? Well, send me a comment and tell me what you think! If not, my lazy behind will never manage to finish it up... Author's Notes: Ok, so I finally got it cleaned up :) I hope it's a lot better now, but my style needs a little work, I'm a bit rusty and all. This whole thing was brought about by a thought that drifted through my head while I was mowing the lawn: "My pervert senses are tingling!" Um, I'd appreciate any and all criticism and comments. This thing didn't really get proof read too much but I ran a spell checker over it (well, on this version) and I've decided that I'll probably continue it into a series if I get positive results out of this posting... Though I'm still a little stuck on where to go from here. I'm going to stick in a scene with Dr. Tofu analyzing the mutation of Ryouga's DNA and maybe a scene with Akane, though I really can't write her very well. The title is from Saturday morning cartoons, since that's where I saw most of my Spiderman, etc. If you can't tell, this is meant to be very comic bookish in the American sense (heavy on the original Spidy). I'd appreciate any ideas on "powers" I can stick in for Ryouga... though I'm not sure how being able to cling to breasts upside down will get worked in... Oh, well. Oh, and I'd really like to thank AloshaSitaJasmine (a.k.a. Sailor Avalon) for his C&C of this because it would have been totally lost to the mists of time without his post (ie, my Eudora ate the original... I only had one copy, which was stupid of me, but his post didn't disappear and is where this whole thing came from). I took most of his suggestions, though he made the comment that my revision of the Breaking Point was unbelieveable... umm... and the original version of it is? *grin* I have some thoughts for another project (actually a pair of projects) that involve Discworld (Terry Pratchett :) and either (or both) OMG and Ranma... ideas for either would be appreciated... though I think Ranma vs. Genghis Cohen would be pretty neat... or maybe Gosunkugi enrolled at Unseen University... that could be neat... though the odds of them getting written (especially any time soon) are pretty slim. Later :) Tim Williams twillia4@utk.edu rogerl@usit.net It'd probably be best if you send any comments, etc, to the rogerl@usit.net address since I check it more often.