FOREVER BLUE
© Rachel--1999
"Nobody ever warns you
or tells you what to do
She walks away,
you're left to stay
Alone, forever blue
The stars have all stopped shining
The sun just wont break through..."
Justin Timberlake closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to allow any sunshine to brighten his gloomy baby blues. The soft hum of the bus's engine and its gentle and rhythmic rocking as it glided down the interstate brought him enough peace to finally fall asleep. He had suffered from severe insomnia for the past three months, and he had to force himself to get out of bed and to eat everyday. When Aliah had walked out of his world on that cold December day he hadn't wanted to do anything but crawl into a hole and die. They had been through everything together in the four years their relationship had formed, but now all of the struggles and all of the love seemed like vague, useless ghosts that haunted his every day presence. He couldn't get her out of his head and it drove him crazy. The world kept going and people kept on loving, but Justin's heart kept crying.
"Each days the same,
more clouds more rain
Life, forever blue
Forever blue
cause you love her
but she doesnt love you..."
Day in and day out it was another city and more fans to scream of their love for you. But with Justin, now it was different. He had once been the energetic member of the group who completely fed off of the audience's hormone induced reactions to his very presence, but now even they could not move him into his former state of complete happiness. Every day his feet felt like lead and he felt as if he were using all of the energy in his body just to walk. Sunshiny days and the warm spring sun still seemed cold and bleak, just like his heart. He didn't want to see any other women. All he wanted was Aliah.
"You did your best,
life did the rest
You're left forever blue..."
Justin had showered her with all of his love and affection, and it was amusing to see how quickly her name had entered the top of all of Justin's teenage fans hit list. Everyone could see how much he loved her, and if you didn't know any better, you would have thought that they would have been together forever. She went on tour with him, but also studied via a tutor because she wanted her own life and Justin respected that. As the years passed, Justin's feelings for her got stronger and slowly be began to realize that was no other woman for him. She had to be his forever. But Justin failed to notice the inward battles Aliah seemed to fighting and it took him completely by surprise the day he found the letter that told him goodbye.
"No reason left for living
still there's a lot to do
New tears to cry,
old songs to sing
and feel forever blue
and be forever blue."
As Justin pulled himself onto the stage for the final show of the tour, he looked out at the crowd of smiling faces and listened to the ringing sounds of their voices calling his name and put on the best smile he could for them. He almost hated them for being so happy while he was so blue. He hated the songs he had to sing because there was something in every one of them that reminded him of her. Not even the crowd screaming the lyrics could make him love the songs any more. He detested life at that point and the nasty hand he had been dealt. The show finally ended and Justin ran into his dressing room, locking the doors and walking over to the lit vanity. The reflection in the mirror did nothing to help lift his depression. His pale skin, the frown that seemed to be tattooed onto his lips, the cold, loveless eyes...he couldn't believe what he had turned into. Sick of looking at himself, he threw a brush that had been sitting peacefully on the vanity and shattered the mirror into thousands of pieces. Sick of being forever blue and depressed, he grabbed a sharp piece of the mirror and slashed his wrist, desperately wanting to escape the hell he had been living in. As the deep red blood oozed out of his veins Justin began to feel faint and laid down on the floor, feeling a sense of relief at not being 'forever blue' anymore.
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