“DDDUUUCCCCKKK!!!” Chris Kirkpatrick laughed giddily to himself as he watched his four friends jump out of their skin and duck to the ground, shielding themselves from some unknown something that Chris was warning them about. Chris simply shrugged his shoulders and repeated himself.
“Look, it’s a duck.” He pointed to a waddling mass of feathers making it’s way towards a lake and his friends sighed and rolled their eyes. It was another day in their whirlwind lives as pop stars, and they were finishing up an interview and photo shoot for a cover spread for Teen People. In the past few months, everything had taken off so suddenly at home in the States and sometimes it was hard to keep sane. The other guys in *NSYNC laughed and said that Chris was the one unfortunate soul who had already lost his mind. Chris didn’t mind being the insane one, though. He almost always got the grumpiest people to laugh or the saddest people to smile. He had a natural attraction to people and he was a favorite to people of all ages. Chris had a good life. He had four sisters who adored him, a mother who loved him, a successful career, and great friends. Heck, he himself was pretty good, too. But for some reason, he couldn’t find the one thing that he wanted most. Someone to love and hold and cherish himself. He tried the dating thing, but no one really caught him for long. He knew it was going to take someone special and sometimes he thought he was so picky that the woman he longed for didn’t even exist. He didn’t let it get him too down, though. After all, he was only twenty-seven years old. He knew he had at least another thirteen years before he really needed to think about settling down completely. Forty was a good age. At least for Chris. Everyone secretly hoped that he might even grow up before then, but that was a wild fantasy. Chris was Chris. Love him or leave him.

“You ain’t nuthin’ but a hound dog...crying all the time....you ain’t nuthin’ but a hound dog...crying all the time...you ain’t ever caught a rabbit...you ain’t no friend of mine...”
“Chris...save it for the return of Star Search, okay?” JC Chasez had been trying to sleep in his bunk that, on this night, was unfortunately directly across from Chris’s and threw a pillow through his bandmate’s bunk’s curtain in an effort to shut him up.
“JC, man, I was just trying to sing myself to sleep.”
“Do it a little quieter, then....and please, spare Elvis’s memory.” JC huffed and turned on his side, putting his pillow over his ears and trying once again to get some sleep. Chris sighed to himself and quietly began to hum.
“I am Sam. Sam I Am. Do you like Green Eggs and Ham?”
JC and Chris trudged into the kitchen area at the front of the bus, yawning and still half-asleep. Chris looked at the clock and growled, seeing how early it was.
“What the hell? It’s only five o’clock. Why did you get us up so early?” He looked towards Justin’s direction and glared at him.
“I am just following orders, man. Johnny said we had to get up at five, so we’re up.”
“Johnny isn’t even with us, yet. Dude, I am going back to sleep.” Chris started walking back towards the bunk area when the shrill sound of a ringing cell phone made him stop.
“...And there’s Johnny now...” Justin said with a smirk. “Hello?”
“Rise and shine, Justin. Okay, now here’s what I wanted to talk to you about...”
The rest of the group sat quietly and intently watched Justin’s nodding head, listening to the ‘okays’ and ‘uh huhs’ coming from his mouth. A few minutes later, Justin hung up the phone and looked at the guys.
“What’s up?”
“Well, today, as you know, we are going to be in Nashville a day early...” He trailed off as he looked at his watch and then continued. “We should be getting there in a couple of hours. Johnny wanted to be sure that we knew ahead of time that at our concert tomorrow night, we are going to have some very special guests. A group of HIV Positive kids from a local AIDS organization in Nashville will be attending and Johnny thought it might be a good idea if sometime today we made a visit to the clinic to see the children. What do you guys say?” He looked at the guys for approval.
“That’s cool with me. Anything for the kids.” Lance loved being with children, so, of course, he wasn’t going to object.
“Do I get to sleep before we go?” Chris was only looking out for his best interest.
“Yes, Kirkpatrick, you get to sleep.”
“Then count me in.” The other two also agreed and it was settled. They would check into their hotel, get a couple more hours of sleep and then head over to the hospice. Justin and JC had heard about the organization when they had lived in Nashville, and knew it was a place for those who were losing their fight with AIDS. Sure enough, today was going to be an emotional day.

“Dr. Michaels, Code Blue, 404.” The operator’s voice resonated in her ears as she made a mad dash into Room 404.
“Come on, Mikey. Come on, buddy.” She tried to hold her composure and push back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes as one of her favorite patients, Mikey, slowly opened his eyes and looked at her.
“Hey there...are you thinking of leaving me, today?”
She almost gasped as he weakly nodded his head. She could see the tears forming in the corner of his eyes and knew he was scared.
“Hey now, big boy. Be brave for me, okay? Just go to sleep and everything will be okay in the morning. You won’t be in pain anymore...you’ll play with the angels...doesn’t that sound like fun? I am sort of jealous of you, you know...”
She slightly smiled and watched as his chest began to rhythmically move as his breathing became less and less frequent. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“It’s okay, bud. Just think of something that makes you happy...”
She watched as his eyes centered on her and he motioned his head toward her.
“Me? I make you happy?” She smiled as he nodded his head ‘yes’. “Okay then. Think of all the fun we had...finger painting our hands and toes...and how about chasing the birds in the park? That sure was fun...”
He took a deep breath and smiled, and she knew it was time. She held his hand tightly as the life slowly left his small body. One breath, two breaths...still. His limp hand fell from hers and she let the tears finally roll down her face. She slowly got up from her place at his bedside and walked down the hallway towards her office. Sitting down in her chair behind her desk, she rested her face in her hands, rubbing her temples slightly. A beep on her watch reminded her to take her medicine, and she pulled out the several prescription bottles, taking the medicine and putting it back in its hiding place on her desk. She sat for a few moments, thinking about Mikey, when her intercom buzzed.
“Yes, Candace?” She answered.
“Dr. Michaels, you have some young men here to see you.”
“Let them in.”
She stood up from her desk and straightened her white jacket, and pushed some fallen strands of her layered chestnut hair behind her ears. She was only twenty-six years old, and she had decided that after her internship at one of the local hospitals that she would open up her own hospice for children with AIDS. It had taken all of her savings and her entire trust fund that her father had left her when he had passed away. The pay wasn’t that good because of it’s status as a non-profit organization, but being with the children meant more to her than any amount of money could. She smiled as the five men entered her office and greeted them.
“Hello..I am Victoria Michaels...the director of the hospice.” She shook each of their hands, giving them a warm smile. They each introduced themselves and returned her smile. “As you probably know, this is a hospice for children who are dying from AIDS. I want you to know that your lives are in no danger from being here..it is sanitary and it is safe...”
“That’s no problem, miss. We’re just here to help the kids.” Justin smiled at her, assuring her that they weren’t concerned about the stereotypical AIDS fears that so many people still seemed to have.
“Okay...now I must warn you...the children here are dying from AIDS...some of them will be very tiny and they are all very sick. But that doesn’t lessen their personalities. They love it when people visit them...especially their favorite singing groups.” She smiled at them.
“What exactly will we be doing? Talking with them, reading stories....what?”
“Well, it’s up to you guys. It’s your time. They just love seeing new people.”
“Will we be separated into groups or just visit the children as a group..”
“Like I said...it’s up to you. Do whatever you like.” The guys conversed and decided that they would separate and visit each of the children individually...just to give them some quality time with each group member. They talked to Dr. Michaels a few more moments, and then started their day at the hospice. Victoria sighed and sat back in her chair, trying to take a much needed break and clear her head before heading back out into her busy world.

“Banana is my favorite.” Justin smiled at the little seven-year old girl he was visiting. He had a package of one of his favorite candies, Runts, with him and was sharing them with Aryana. She smiled as he handed her all of the banana-flavored candy the bag had to offer, as well as some of his favorite, cherry. They sat and ate the candy in silence before Aryana spoke.
“Why aren’t you scared of me?” Justin was almost surprised at her question.
“Scared of you? Why would I be scared of you?”
“Aren’t you afraid that you will get my disease?” She looked at him innocently and his heart reached out to her.
“Nope. Not scared at all. Why did you think I would be scared?”
“All of the people at school hate me because I’m sick.” “Well then, it’s their loss. ‘Cause you know what?” He waited for her to look at him. “I like you a lot. If you were a little older, I’d marry you.” She laughed at him.
“You’re silly, Justin.”
“Maybe so. But it’s just because I like ya.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, making sure she knew that he wasn’t afraid of her.

“You drive a pretty car...you know how fine you are...”
JC softly sang with the little girl sitting beside him in the bed. Her name was Carolina. She told him that he was always her favorite and that she loved to hear him sing. She confided in him saying that she had always wanted to be a singer, and he told her he would sing for her if she would sing with him. Her favorite song was “For The Girl Who Has Everything” and JC joked with her saying she might want to try out for *NSYNC.
“You have a very pretty voice, Carolina.” She blushed at his compliment.
“Thank you.”
“So what do you like to do?” He was genuinely interested in Carolina’s thoughts and interests. She was such a sweet girl.
“Everything. I like to sing and when I was healthy enough I liked to dance. And I was the all-star champion on my basketball team before I got really sick. What do you like to do?”
“We have a lot in common, you know. I love to sing and dance...basketball is fun, too. Maybe we can play a little one on one sometime.”
“Yeah..that would be nice. But you know this is the last time you are going to see me.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because I will be dead when you see me next time. But it’s okay. I’ll be with my mom then.” JC felt tears coming to his eyes and he held Carolina’s hand.
“Well why don’t we pretend that there will be a next time? And that when I come back you’ll be all better...and you’ll get to sing and dance with me on stage.”
“Sounds good. And then I can go backstage and eat lots of food and sign autographs for all the people who came to see me.” JC laughed.
“Yes...because you will be the star.”

“Girl, were you alone?” Lance smiled at the sound of Deana’s laugh. She told him that her favorite part on the whole album was when he said that, and he did it just so he could hear her laugh.
“Deanna is a pretty name you know.” He smiled at her again and she smiled right back.
“Lance isn’t so bad, either.” Lance really liked her and in the few short minutes that he had known her, he already felt connected to her.
“How long have you been in here?”
“Oh gosh...probably about three months now. I only have about a month left to live, though.” Lance choked up at the reality of the situation.
“Wow. Do you have any big plans?”
“I would love to sky dive, but the doctors say I am too weak. So I just have to imagine what it would be like.”
“I have been sky diving before...”
“Really?” Her eyes brightened. “What was it like?”
“Scary. For one thing, I thought I was going to pee on myself.” She giggled at him.
“Did you?”
“No, fortunately. That would have been kind of embarrassing, don’t you think?” She nodded her head and smiled at him. “Do you have any other plans?”
“Well...I wanted to either meet you guys or 98 Degrees, so this is pretty cool.”
“Who’s your favorite guy?”
“I always thought Justin was cute,” She grinned as Lance pretended to pout. “But I think I am a Lance girl now.” He grinned at her and leaned over, kissing her forehead.
“You can definitely be my girl.”

“Superman! Superman!” The little girl’s voice called out to her “superman” as she stood on her hospital bed, flailing her arms like she was in trouble. Joey was ducked down on the floor and popped his head up, grinning at her.
“Lois?”
“Oh, superman!! You saved me!” Callie giggled and collapsed down on the bed, grinning at Joey. “That was fun!”
“Yes it sure was. So you want to be an actress, huh?”
“Yep. I want to marry Ben Affleck, too.”
“Aww man..so what are you saying, Callie? That we are breaking up?”
“I’m sorry, Joey. I just don’t love you anymore.” She cocked her head to the side, batting her eyelashes and crossing her hands over her heart. “I love Ben.” Joey pretended to cry.
“But I love you so much...”
“I’m so sorry, Joey. You’ll find someone one day...” She patted his head and he smiled.
“Where did a ten year old like you get so good at acting?”
“My mom says that I was always like that as a little girl. Making up stories and stuff. So I guess you can say I am a ‘natural’.” She laughed and Joey smiled warmly at her.
“You’re a brave little girl, you know that?”
“Sometimes I think I am, but then sometimes I am not so sure. I get scared.”
“Are you scared now?”
“About dying? Nope. Everyone does. I am just hoping I get to be the number one actress in Heaven’s Hollywood.”
“I bet you’ll steal the show. Mark my word.”

“Awww man...you beat me again!” Chris sighed and rummaged through his pockets, pulling out a piece of gum. Him and the little boy he was visiting, Tucker, were challenging themselves in a game of Paper, Rock, Scissors.
“Face it, Chris. I am the man.”
“Yeah. You’re da man!” Chris playfully nudged him in the shoulder and grinned. “I bet you get all the ladies.”
“Yeah..I’m not bad. Ladies flock to men like me.”
“Psst...how about you let me in on your secrets? I need a woman.”
“You just gotta be smooth.”
“How’s this?” Chris stood up and did a funky strut that would obviously turn off any lady in her right mind. “Am I working it?”
“Not quite...but practice it. You might get a girl.” Chris laughed at him and sat back down.
“You know, we could definitely be best buds.”
“Heck yeah. You’re cool.”
“Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”

Chris knocked softly on the door, and without hearing anyone answer, he turned the door and opened it a bit, peering inside.
“Dr. Michaels?”
“Oh, hi.” His voice startled her and she looked up at him and quickly rubbed her eyes dry of tears.
“Are you okay?” Chris walked towards her, concerned when he noticed her wiping away dried tears on her cheeks.
“Yes, I’m fine...”
“Are you sure?” Chris advanced towards a chair in front of her desk and slowly sat down, watching as she slowly nodded her head. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.” She looked up at him, waiting for his question.
“I was just wondering how you do this every day..” He looked down at his hands as he felt his emotions becoming stronger.
“It’s definitely not easy. See this picture?” Chris looked up at her as she handed him a small wallet sized picture sitting in a frame on her desk. “That’s Mikey. We lost him today.”
“Were you really close to him?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I try not to form close bonds with some of the children, but it’s hard not to. They need me, and well, I need them. But the most painful thing is to see them slip through your hands...because eventually they all do.”
“Is that why you were crying?”
“Yes. He was very special to me. It’s hard letting them go.”
“Yeah...I’m sure. Listen, are you going to the concert tomorrow night with the children?”
“No...there’s too much to be done...”
“Come on...get away for a night. You need some time away. Plus, the children are looking forward to the show...it will be nice seeing them smiling and having a good time..”
“You sure no how to win people over, don’t you, Chris?” He smiled at her. “Okay, fine. Just tomorrow night..but then it’s back to the daily grind over here at the hospital.”
“Deal. Why don’t we arrange to somehow pick the children up ourselves? Give them the grand tour and everything?”
“That would be nice. Thank you.”
“No problem. I have to go now, but I’ll be seeing you soon, Dr. Michaels.”
“Please, call me Tori.”

“Woo hoo! I beat ya!!!!” Tucker jumped up from his seat beside Justin on the floor in the tour bus’s lounge, excited about his win over Justin on a Playstation game.
“What can I say? You are just way too good for me.”
“I told ya I was good.” Tucker gave Justin a high five and then ran into the kitchen area of the bus to join the other four kids who were coming to the show. The hospice had twelve children admitted, but only five were well enough to attend the concert. The group had decided to give them a good time and had picked them up in their bus.
“Geez...look at all those people!” Callie eyes popped out of her head when she saw the lines at the front of the Ryman Auditorium. “Are they all here for you?”
“Yep.” JC grinned at her. “Just think...they would really really like to be you right now.”
“I really really like being me right now.” Callie smiled at him and turned her eyes back to the crowd of girls that were screaming as they watched the tour bus pulling into its parking spot. One of the bodyguards walked out first, clearing a path for the children. After they were safe inside the venue, the rest of the bodyguards exited the bus and made human barricades in front of the crowd, allowing the group and Tori easy access inside. Screams erupted as the hundreds of pairs of eyes caught sight of the guys and they ran inside, escaping the masses.
“Goodness...is it like that everywhere you go?” Tori took a deep breath and straightened out her white 3/4 length shirt and khaki cargo skirt.
“Yeah...lately it has been. It’s cool, though, we like it.” Chris took her by the hand and led her to a lounge area complete with a catered dinner and enough drinks to satiate a thirsty mob of soldiers. The guys played games with the kids and had a great time during the show, inviting them up on stage during one of the songs. They had a blast and the smiles were evident as they dropped the kids off at the hospice after the concert had finished. Nurses were waiting outside to escort them inside and get them into bed. As the bus pulled off, Tori sighed.
“Thanks for everything, guys. They really appreciated everything.”
“No, thank you. The last two days have been wonderful.” JC smiled at her and walked back to his bunk. Tori frowned as her stomach growled.
“Are you hungry?” Chris laughed at her and nudged her in the shoulder.
“Yeah, actually I am. I can’t remember the last time I had a decent meal. I stay so busy.”
“How about we go grab something? We’ll get off the bus at our hotel and take a cab to a restaurant.”
“I’m game.” Tori smiled at him and leaned her head back on the sofa, closing her eyes and resting until the ride was over. The rest of the guys wanted to wait a while longer to eat, so Chris and Tori got off the bus and took a cab over to Cafe Coco off of Elliston Place, a place that was secluded so that Chris wouldn’t be bothered by fans, and one of Tori’s favorite places to dine.
“Those kids really are great.” Chris smiled and then got a serious look on his face. “Are they serious when they said that the next time we come to Nashville that they won’t be there?” He frowned as Tori slowly nodded her head.
“They are in the last stages of AIDS. They come to our hospice to receive the 24-hour care that is simply impossible at home. Some of their parents have already passed away from the disease, and those who still have their folks get to see them on a regular basis.”
“Man...” Chris said, swallowing a bite of tortellini. “I still can’t see how you do that. I have only known some of them for two days and already feel so attached.”
“It’s definitely a hard thing letting them go. I try to be with each one of them when their time comes...try to make them smile and be brave.”
“Do you ever cry in front of them?” Tori viciously shook her head ‘no.’
“I don’t want them to get scared. If they see me cry, they realize just exactly what is happening and it frightens them. I do cry afterwards, though...”
“Yeah it’s hard not to. How is it funded?”
“Well, I started the hospice fresh out of my residency. Used all of my savings and my trust fund. We get donations and sometimes parents help out with the expenses. But for the most part, it’s a non-profit organization.”
“You know, I wish I could be like you.”
“Like me? Why?” Tori almost laughed at his question.
“You are so strong. It’s very unselfish what you are doing. It’s amazing to me to find that there are still people in the world like you.” Tori blushed at his comment.
“I don’t do anything special. I just treat them they way I want to be treated when I--” Tori cut herself off.
“When you what?”
“Oh, nothing.” Tori was relieved to hear the sound of her watch beeping, signaling time to take her medication. “I’ll be right back.” She walked to the bathroom, digging down inside of her purse and pulling out twelve prescription bottles. She took each dose and leaned against the wall.
“How am I supposed to tell Chris about me?” Tori had found out when she was twenty-two years old that she was HIV positive. She had contracted the disease from an old college boyfriend, her one and only lover. They had caught it soon enough, and she was able to take medicine and carry on a somewhat normal life. She could possibly be one step ahead of the disease for the next twenty years, but eventually even medicine wouldn’t be enough to stop it. Only a handful of people knew her secret.
“No, I’m not going to tell him. He is leaving tomorrow morning. I won’t ever see him again, anyway.”

She walked back out to the table and got Chris. Chris insisted on footing the bill and they walked outside hand in hand.
“Do you want me to take you home now?” Chris inwardly smiled when she told him no. “Good, cause I am not even close to being tired. What do you want to do?”
“There is a park about a half a mile that way,” she said, pointing in the direction. “We can go there...that is, if you like parks.”
“Sounds great. Let’s go.” He took her hand and they walked to Centennial Park, talking about Tori’s family history and her childhood. They found that they had a lot in common, and Chris could tell that he definitely wanted to keep in touch with her. She was a spectacular woman and he already had formed a strong bond with her. They sat at the park for an hour before catching another cab. As the cab pulled up in front of her studio apartment, Tori smiled at Chris and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“I know this is going to sound completely terrible, but do you want to come up? Just for a few minutes?”
“I’d like that.” Chris smiled at her and paid the taxi driver, following her up the two flights of stairs to her place. He whistled as he eyed the apartment when he stepped in.
“Nice...” He walked from wall to wall, looking at the various paintings and art. It was definitely contemporary and he loved it.
“My father left me most of this. He was into art and that kind of stuff. So I used it to decorate. There’s no way I could afford all of this by myself.”
“It’s awesome.”
“Have a seat.” Tori motioned towards a black overstuffed sofa and Chris sat down, flipping through one of the books on the glass coffee table. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“Ummm...water would be great, thanks.” Tori brought him one of her bottles of water and sat beside him, watching him studying the book.
“I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward...asking you to come up.” She smiled at him and he shook his head.
“Nope. I didn’t want to leave you just yet anyway.” Tori got up and started a fire in the fire place, sitting down beside Chris once again and wrapping herself up in a blanket.
“It’s a little nippy in here, don’t you think?”
“Yeah a little. Here...” Chris put his arm around her and brought her into the crook of his arm. “Body heat works wonders.” She laughed at him and stared at the fire. They sat there in silence for a few minutes before Chris looked down at her and saw a few stray tears running down her cheeks.
“Hey...what’s the matter?”
“I’m sorry. I just started thinking...”
“Well don’t think if it’s going to make you sad, silly.” He smiled at her and hugged her briefly. “What were you thinking about?”
“Just life in general. I miss Mikey...I miss all of the kids when they do pass on. It’s hard for the first couple of days. And it kind of finalizes death for me. I know it’s going to happen and I always wonder when it’s going to be my time. When life is going to catch up to me.”
“Don’t think about that...just live your life. That’s all you can do. So that when it does come, you have no regrets.” Tori looked up at him and smiled.
“Thanks.” She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, lingering for a few more moments than she meant to. Chris’s heart felt like it was fluttering so fast that it was going to flutter right out of his chest. Here he was with a gorgeous woman who gave back to life and knew how to laugh. She was successful and content with life. Strong and determined....and she was kissing his cheek. He mentally shook his head clear of thoughts. He knew he shouldn’t fall for her, especially being on tour all of the time, but with a woman like her it was definitely going to be hard. She was absolutely amazing. He moved slightly so he could look into her eyes and pushed away a few strands so he could see them clearly. Lost in the moment, he leaned in slowly, softly kissing her and taking both of their breaths away. He pulled away and smiled. “Sorry. I just couldn’t help myself.”
“Ssshhh.” Tori put a finger to her mouth signaling to him to keep quiet, and leaned in again, kissing him back. They lost themselves in the kiss and eventually pulled away from each other.
“Wow.” They muttered the word in unison, causing them both to erupt in laughter. Tori cleared her throat and smiled.
“Don’t you think it’s about time you returned to your group?”
“Huh?” Chris was still mesmerized by the touch of her lips upon his.
“It’s one in the morning.”
“Shit! Really? Wow...bus call is at seven.”
“Then I guess you better go.”
“Yeah I guess I better.” They slowly got up and walked to the door. Tori gave Chris her number and her email address so he could keep in touch with her on the road and gave him a soft kiss. “Bye.”

“CHRIS!!! You have a phone call!” Justin shouted from the living area of the suite they were staying in, hoping that Chris would hear him all the way in his bedroom. He did, and Justin laughed when Chris almost hurdled the couch in an effort to grab the phone. “It’s your sweetie.” Justin smiled at him and handed him the phone.
“Hey hey hey...Kirkpatrick here.”
“Oh I am sorry, Kirkpatrick...I was hoping to talk to a man by the name of Chris...” Tori laughed at the other end of the line.
“Oh yeah...that’s my other personality. Let me switch really quick. Hey how ya doing, sweets? Chris speaking.”
“Hello, Chris. It’s Tori.”
“I knew that. So when are you coming by?”
“Well, we have another doctor on the staff now, so I get to have a few more breaks. She told me to go ahead and come up to the hotel for the day and that she would take care of everything. Plus, the nurses here are really good and all of the kids are doing fine. So...I guess whenever you want me to come by--”
“Did I hear you say now? Oh yeah, I did hear you say now.” Chris smiled.
“Then now it is. I just have to tell Barb that I am leaving and I’ll drop by.”
“Great. Looking forward to it, my lady.”
“I’ll see you in a few, babe. Bye bye.” Chris leaned back on the couch and sighed. They had kept in touch almost daily after their initial meeting in Nashville. Their relationship had really progressed and Chris already knew he loved her, but now all he had to do was tell her. He planned on doing it on this stop to Nashville because he didn’t want her to slip through his fingers. He really felt as if Victoria Elizabeth Michaels was the special someone that he had been waiting on his whole life. He could only hope that she felt the same way.

“I have to say that I am completely and totally jealous of you! I can’t believe you recorded a song with Alabama! They’re legends!” Tori was in awe. Chris had told her about the previous day that they had spent recording with Alabama and she was absolutely jealous. They were sitting on a park bench in Centennial Park, wasting time and relaxing until the show later that day.
“Yes I know. It was an awesome experience.”
“I’ll bet. So I guess that’s one of the perks of fame, huh? Meeting all sorts of neat people.”
“Oh yeah definitely. I hear Nashville has tons of ‘neat people’.”
“Oh yeah, like who?” Tori cocked an eyebrow and smiled.
“Well let’s see...there’s the ever present country stars. And then there is this great doctor...she’s really cool. You ought to meet her. Her name is Victoria Michaels.”
“Oh yeah? What’s so great about her?”
“Well, she is an amazing person. She devotes her life to helping out her patients. She’s beautiful...has a wonderful smile, gorgeous eyes, the cutest laugh I have ever heard, and she’s strong and determined...”
“Anything else about this Victoria Michaels character?”
“Oh yeah, and there’s the fact that I am head over heels in love with her.” Victoria was startled at his last comment.
“You’re what?”
“You heard me. Tori, I love you...”
“You love me?” Tori’s heart rate sped and her eyes were wide with shock.
“Yes...is that so hard to believe?”
“Wow...I mean, gosh...I don’t know what to say--” “Say you love me, too.” Chris’s eyes pleaded with her and she knew that she had special feelings for him as well, but she had never wanted to admit it to him. He still didn’t know her secret and she was for sure it would hurt him bad if she told him.
“Chris...” He stopped her before she could say another word by kissing her softly. “I love you, too.” He smiled at her and kissed her again, taking her in his arms and holding her tightly. She looked up and him with tears in her eyes.
“Why are you crying?”
“I feel so bad...” She started shaking her head and the tears started pouring.
“Why do you feel bad? I’ll tell you I hate you if it will make you feel better.” Chris’s efforts to make her laugh failed miserably and he looked at her confused.
“Chris you are going to hate me...you’re going to hate me...”
“Tori, I can’t hate you...” Chris tried to assure her that whatever she was having a guilt trip over wasn’t going to be bad enough to make him hate her.
“Yes...you will...when you find out my secret...”
“Secret?”
“Yes...Chris I haven’t been honest with you...but now I have to and I know you are going to hate me...I know you will...” Chris began to get scared about what she was going to say.
“Tell me, Tori...I promise I won’t hate you...”
“Chris,” she tried to look him in his eyes but found it too hard and looked down at her hands. “I’m HIV positive.”

Chris felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. It was one of the most unexpected things he ever thought he would hear. The one woman he felt so sure was meant for him was HIV positive? How could this happen? He sat there for a few minutes unable to say anything.
“Oh God, you hate me...” Tori got up and ran off, knowing how bad she had hurt him. Chris broke out of his shock and ran after her, finally catching up to her and grabbing her by the arm.
“Tori, stop...No, no, I don’t hate you...” He turned her around and held her by both arms looking into her eyes. Tears had formed at the corners of his eyes and she looked at him.
“You don’t?” Chris slowly shook his head.
“No, I don’t.” The tears swelled bigger in his eyes.
“I bet this changes your feelings for me. It’s hard to love an HIV positive person.” Chris shook his head no again and pulled her into his arms for a tight embrace. He cried into her shoulder.
“No, I love you so much, Tori. I was just shocked, that’s all...” Tori pulled away and looked at him with wide eyes.
“Your feelings haven’t changed? This puts a whole new spin on any kind of relationship.”
“I don’t care, Tori. We’ll take this one day at a time. I don’t care about the HIV. I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks. All I care about right now is you.”
“Oh my God, Chris I love you so much.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go. They stood there, hugging in the middle of the park for several minutes before Tori finally pulled away.
“Come on, let’s go to my apartment. There is so much I need to tell you.” They walked hand in hand in complete silence to her apartment that was a couple of blocks away. Chris sat down on Tori’s sofa and waited patiently until she walked over, with a photo album in hand. Sitting beside him, she opened it and flipped to a page.
“See this guy? His name was Jason. He died two years ago.” Chris looked at the picture and then looked up at her.
“Was this one of your good friends?”
“Yeah, I guess you can say that. He was my first and only love, Chris. The one who gave me HIV. He contracted it somehow and didn’t know he had it until I found out about me.”
“Oh man...what happened with your relationship?”
“We tried to smooth out the rough spots, but it didn’t work. The HIV was already too widespread in his body and he died from full-blown AIDS within a couple of years.”
“What about you? How bad is yours?” Chris was worried that she was going to tell him that hers was just as bad as Jason’s had been and that he would be losing her soon.
“They caught mine early enough. In today’s world there are special drugs that keep me living. They don’t cure the disease, but they do add several more years to my life expectancy.”
“What’s your life expectancy?”
“There’s never a certain length of time...but for right now, I can have an added fifteen to twenty years.”
“Drugs can do that?”
“Yes.” Tori took the photo album from him and closed it.
“Have you dated anyone else?”
“No. I was too scared of rejection. I wasn’t going to tell you, Chris. I debated on whether or not to tell you the first time I met you. But I thought I would never see you again. But I did see you again and each day I grew closer and closer to you until I realized I was in love with you. And I knew I had to tell you...”
“And you were scared because you thought I would leave you?”
“Yes...” Tori’s eyes filled up with tears again and Chris took her in his arms.
“Well you don’t have to worry about that. Because I am not going to leave you. Tori,” he lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “I love you. I’ll be honest...I don’t know too much about AIDS...just enough to get by, but I am willing to learn. I want a relationship with you. I want to be with you as long as I possibly can. That is, if you will allow me.”
“Chris why are you being so good to me?”
“It’s because I love you...”
“But what about the rest of the guys? What will they think?”
“Don’t worry about them. They’ll understand. They love you, too. And they are all happy for me that I found the person I have been looking for. I am sure they will be shocked at first, but it won’t change a thing. Trust me...”
“I am so scared...”
“Don’t be. Let’s concentrate on us for right now, okay?”
“Okay.” She smiled at him and he kissed her. Chris didn’t know what to expect and he knew this was definitely going to different, but he was willing to chance it all for Tori.

“Yo, Chris! What’s up? Why did you call all of us in here?” Justin shouted through the bus, waiting for Chris to answer. Chris walked back to the lounge area and closed the door, looking at his four bandmates and his best friends.
“Guys, there is something really important that I have to tell you.”
“What?” JC had a very serious look in his eyes and was very concerned about what Chris was going to say. He hoped it wasn’t anything too extreme.
“I’ve been keeping something from you for a few months...it’s about me and Tori.” The guys all looked up at him and waited for him to continue. “Well, as you know, me and Tori have been what I guess everyone would call an ‘official couple’ for a good four months now. But our relationship is really special, guys. Tori wanted to be here when I told you, but she got really busy at the hospice and couldn’t be here...”
“Chris, spit it out, you’re starting to worry me.” JC was really concerned and the way Chris was stalling only concerned him more.
“Are you getting married and leaving the group?” Justin asked.
“No, not hardly. Well, not leaving the group. Married, yes, I want to marry Tori.”
“Is that what you were going to tell us?” Lance asked, feeling a little relieved.
“Well, there’s something else guys. You all know how Tori works with children with AIDS. Well there is a special reason she does it. She loves helping the kids and they help her out, too. Guys, Tori is HIV positive.”
“What?!” The guys all said at the same time, completely stunned at the news.
“Yes. She is. She was so scared about letting you guys know. She is scared of rejection and she doesn’t want you guys thinking any differently about her.”
“No, no...that won’t happen. At least not for me,” JC assured Chris. “How long have you known about Tori’s illness?”
“A few months now. She told me last time we were in Nashville...when I told her I loved her, she told me that because she couldn’t stand keeping it from me any longer.”
“Man, Chris...wow...that’s a lot to handle. How bad is hers? I mean, it’s not as bad as the children’s at the hospital is it?” Justin asked.
“No. She caught hers early enough and there are drugs that can stall the destruction of her immune system for a while longer than more advanced cases.”
“How long can she survive on the drugs before it gets bad?” Lance asked, concerned about Tori and how Chris could handle something like that.
“Well, there really isn’t a set time, but right now she can probably survive an extra fifteen to twenty years.”
“Wow...um, Chris can I ask you a really personal question?” JC asked him with a nervous look in his eyes, not sure whether to ask Chris or not, but his curiousity won over.
“Yes..” Chris smiled, knowing what JC was going to ask.
“Do you guys...well...you know...do you...have sex?”
“No...not yet anyhow. But there are ways that we can so that I have a smaller risk of contracting it. There’s protection...it’s safe.” Chris smiled at him, reassuring JC.
“So is Tori coming to the Nashville show in a couple of weeks?”
“Yeah. Guys I need your advice on something,” Chris looked around the lounge and continued. “I want to ask Tori to marry me...and I want it to be special. Kinda like, at the show...and I have this plan...I want to know if you guys would go along with it and help me out?” Chris looked around the room once again.
“Well what’s the plan? As long as I don’t have to do anything crazy like tattooing ‘Tori will you marry Chris’ in my arm, I’m game.” JC laughed.
“Good. Now here’s the deal.”

“Is everything ready??!!” Chris looked at all of the bodyguards and all of the guys in the group, double checking their “plan” before they hit the stage for the show.
“Yes, Chris...chill...everything’s in control.” JC patted his shoulder. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?”
“JC, man...what if she says ‘no’? What if she tells me to fudge off?” Chris looked absolutely scared to death and JC just laughed at him.
“Dude, Tori is madly in love with you and it’s the same for you with her. It’s cool. I have no doubt in my mind that she will say yes. She’s yours. Now all you have to do is go out there and propose to her.” Chris took a few deep breaths and sighed.
“Ok. Okay. OKAY.”
“You guys ready? You hit the stage in five.”
“Are you ok?” JC asked Chris.
“Just peachy.” Chris gave him two thumbs up and a cheesy smile before running out on stage to get hooked up for their Mission Impossible opening. The crowd absolutely went wild as they took the stage and performed to yet another sold out mass of people. Chris breathed deeply and rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants as the starting chords for “Crazy For You” started up. This was it, the big moment. Everyone was in on it except for Tori and the fans. Boy did they have a surprise coming. As Justin finished the last line of the second chorus, they started in on the chorus before one of their band members, Reuben, stopped playing and looked out at the audience.
“Yo...what’s up with that, y’all?” The crowd screamed as Justin looked out at them.
“Justin, man, did you forget? We have a very special guest in the audience tonight...that we are all absolutely crazy for.” JC looked down towards the front row and spotted Tori, giving her a quick wink.
“Oh yeah...but you know what, JC? I think our buddy, Chris, is even more crazy for this person.” The crowd continued to scream and the cameramen focused in on Tori. The other guys smiled and clapped, getting the crowd even more pumped.
“I am? Oh yeeeaaahhh...I am...” Chris smiled her way and blew her a quick kiss. Tori looked around, confused at the scene unfolding. She had seen her fair share of shows, and they had never done this before. Chris should have told her they were changing the show a little bit. “Geez...where did Lonnie go?” Chris put his hand over his eyes, “searching” for their most famous bodyguard, Lonnie.
“Wait...I think I see bunny ears....right over....THERE.” Lance pointed towards a crowd of people stationed in the middle of the amphitheater, and smiled as they began holding up signs. “Wait...what are they doing? They are putting up signs...let’s see...a T. And a O. Oh wait, there’s an R...and oh...an I...” Lance smiled and looked in Tori’s direction, almost laughing at the expression of absolute perplexion on her face.
“Gee...Tori’s a cool name don’t you think, Chris?” Joey nudged him in the side and Chris grinned.
“Most definitely. That’s the name of the most wonderful woman in the world.” The fans screamed excitedly, all of them knowing exactly who he was talking about. Chris had come out and said in a TV interview earlier that summer that he was in love with Tori, and so far, the fans for the most part had accepted her. There were a handful, though, that still loved to spread rumors about everything, but the majority of the fans were happy for Chris.
“Wait, what’s that another sign?” JC smiled and Tori spun around to see what sign was now being put up. “Will.....you.....” JC began reading the signs one by one as the bodyguards held them up. They stopped after ‘you’ and Lonnie threw up his hands in defeat.
“Lonnie! You forgot the rest of the signs?” Chris threw his hands up in the air and smiled. “Looks like I am just going to have to do this myself. Tori, will you please come up?” Tori’s eyes grew wide and she left her seat on the front row, coming up to the stage as fast as she could. Chris met her halfway and walked with her hand-in-hand to center stage, smiling at her and then turning and smiling at the rest of the guys. One of the stage hands brought out a chair and Chris motioned for Tori to sit down. He knelt to one knee and still holding her hand, looked at her.
“As you and everyone else in the world knows, I am definitely crazy for you...there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do..” Chris paused for a moment, waiting for the crowd to quiet down. “You came into my life when I wasn’t expecting you to. I had given up the search for ‘the one’ and wasn’t even looking, and one day, you just walked right in my life. For the past several months you have made me the happiest man in the world...” Chris stopped and pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket. “And now I want you to continue making me happy for all of eternity. Victoria Elizabeth Michaels, will you marry me?” Tori’s eyes filled with tears and she hugged Chris tightly, separating from him after a few moments and nodding her head ‘yes.’ Chris smiled and gave her a kiss, laughing as the crowd screamed and the guys jumped around on stage. Justin and Joey acted like they were bawling and hugged each other for support and then Rueben and the rest of the group started in on playing the rest of the song. Chris helped Tori up from her seat and held her by the waist, giving her small kisses and holding her tight. Tori stood there, crying and smiling, watching them perform the song and as the last notes played, all five guys turned and pointed to her.
“We’re crazy for you.”

Chris’s breath caught in his throat as his angel appeared through the Celtic marble doorframe of the eighteenth century church. Her flowing antique lace dress was perfectly set off by her chestnut hair framed around her face and stray strands of baby’s breath placed neatly in her hair. The simple bouquet of daisies and white lilacs she held in her hands proved the perfect accent, and her smile was so bright that even the stars, sun, and moon couldn’t compete. She was absolutely gorgeous and Chris had to fight to breathe. Her small hand fit perfectly into his as she met him at the altar and they looked at each other briefly before facing the minister. They had decided on writing their own vows and the Episcopalian ceremony was perfect. They had a great time at the reception in the park, and an even more gorgeous time dancing under the stars together alone on the rooftop of their apartment in the Hillsboro Village area of Nashville. Chris had opted to stay in Nashville with Tori so that she could still work at her hospice and even so, he loved the city. They both thought of the town as a great place to start a life together. Chris softly sang in her ear as she danced close to him, standing on his feet.
“And if she asks me....do I look alright...I say ‘Darling, you look wonderful tonight....’” Chris smiled at Tori and gave her a gentle kiss. “I love you, baby.”
She responded by kissing him back and they headed back down to their apartment. As they made love for the first time, it felt like a completely new experience. Neither were virgins, but it was like nothing they had ever felt before. The love they shared joined their souls together and made it a completely magical experience. Chris laid on his side afterwards, running his hand through her soft hair and gazing at her. Moonlight had crept through one of the windows and the light made her skin glow. She had fallen asleep, but Chris wasn’t ready to retire just yet. He leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, smiling and certain that if there was Heaven on earth, he was definitely living it. Tori smiled in her sleep and softly whispered to him.
“I love you...” Her voice was barely audible, but the words were powerful enough to make Chris’s heart happily swell to immense proportions.
“I love you, too...” He laid his head on her chest and wrapped an arm around her waist, finally allowing himself to rest. The circumstances of their union were definitely unique and maybe even somewhat controversial, but to Chris, life at that moment was close enough to perfect for him. He had met his true soulmate and finally felt completely at ease. And he was only twenty-eight years old.
“Beat the deadline by twelve years..” He thought to himself and smiled, extremely satisfied with his world.