"Tabitha…Ah just…we can't see each other anymore." Sam said, swallowing against the lump in his throat.
He'd steeled himself for this, ever since he had decided that it needed to be done. He'd thought of everything that he would be feeling; he thought of everything he would see in her eyes. He'd prepared him self for the very worst.
He didn't stand a chance.
Her eyes widened ever so slightly, like he had hit her. Then the utter desolation on her face, the blue of her eyes being swallowed up by the inky blackness of sorrow. Her lips trembled ever so slightly, and teardrops threatened at the corner of her eyes.
"Why?" He voice was choked; she could barely get the word out through her throat.
"We-we need some time apart." Sam told her, unable to look her in the face. "Find out what we want from life."
"I KNOW what I want!" Tabitha told him, a single tear finding it's way down her cheek.
"Tabitha…sweet Tabitha…please…" Sam whispered, still unable to look at her.
"Why…why?" Tabitha asked again. Sam didn't answer this time. He just turned his back and walked away, his head down.
"Sam!" Tabitha screamed at his back. He didn't turn around though.
Tabitha felt the tears slide down her face, hotter then they had ever been before. He left-he'd just left her standing there. Her legs felt too weak to support her; she crashed to the ground, and covered her face with her hands.
Harsh racking sobs shook her little body; she curled herself up into a little ball, and pushed herself up against the wall. Why? Why?
Tabitha began to rock herself back and forth, the agonized tears rolling down her face, faster and faster. She couldn't wipe the away quick enough, they just kept pouring down her face like a hard rain.
"What did I do? Why doesn't he love me anymore?" Tabitha asked herself out loud, not caring if the world thought her to be insane. All she knew was that the love of her life, the man she wanted to marry had ended their relationship for no apparent reason.
Tabitha leaned her head up against the wall, shaking her head back and forth. She slammed her elbow into the wall; that didn't help, so she slammed her other one into it.
The pain felt almost good; it almost took her mind away from the aching void in the middle of her chest. But then the pain in her arms was gone, but the pain that echoed through her chest was endless.
It felt as though some one had reached into the very core of her being, and ripped away something vital, something essential. Something that she would go to any lengths to get back.
She would lie, beg, cheat, steal, even kill, just for Sam to walk up to her and kiss her, tell her he'd made a mistake, that he wanted her back. And then she'd pull him into her arms and hold him so close, inhale the sweet scent that was so uniquely him.
But he didn't come back. Tabitha just continued to sob, hoping against hope.
Sam leaned back against the wall as soon as he was out of sight of Tabitha. Tears slipped down his face, burning like hot coals.
"Why? Why did Ah do that to her? Why did Ah do that to mahself?" Sam asked himself, wrapping his arms around his chest and holding himself.
That brought back memories, memories of days gone by when Tabitha would run up behind him and wrap her arms around his back and hang on. When he would sneak up behind her and kiss the top of her ear, and she'd whirl around and squeal with laughter. When she would clutch his knee when she was frightened by something on the television. When she'd slip her fingers into his, and squeeze, for no reason at all.
Sam shook his head, clearing the memories as they came to him. "Ah did the right thing."
That was all he could tell himself. Over and over again, he told himself those words. Then: "There were so many reasons. So many." It was funny, he thought through his hazy of pain. Ah can't think of a single one of the reasons that AH had for leaving Tabitha.
Sam pushed himself off the wall, and made his way down the hallway. Sobs suddenly assaulted his ears, and he turned and walked the way he came.
And there she was. Small and beautiful, and so very, very fragile. He drank in the sight of her, like a man trapped in the desert would drink the purest water. It's been so long since Ah touched her… Fifteen minutes. The small part of his brain that was still rational informed him. It has been fifteen minutes since you last touched her.
The rest of him, his emotions, his heart, disagreed: It's been years! Years! Look at the way her hair is flipped over her eyes…God, Ah want push it away, make her look into mah eyes, and then kiss her. Kiss her like Ah use to kiss her, until she was panting and pulling away ta breath.
You can't, the rational part reminded him, a trifle smugly. You broke up with her.
Get down on your hands and knees and beg for her forgiveness! His heart was obviously not above sacrificing his pride to get his angel back.
Lord, she looked like an angel. Her blonde hair was like a halo around her head, her eyes were shiny still…though with tears, not the happiness that normally lived there.
You CAN get your angel back! Just go up to her, and ASK! Heart screamed at him.
And sacrifice everything that makes you a man? Rational asked.
What good is being a man if you don't have your angel? Heart shot back.
Why would your angel come back to someone less then a man? Rational tried a different approach.
Heart couldn't find anything to say about that.
Sam shook his head, and turned and walked away from his angel, even as his heart screamed at him not to.
Tabitha was still sitting in the hallway. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, or who had passed her by, but she didn't really care.
She was suddenly aware that some one was looking at her. Sniffing, she lifted her head, and found herself staring into concerned brown eyes.
"Go away Ric." Tabitha said, putting her head back down on her knees.
"No." He disagreed, slumping down against the wall next to her. Tabitha began to sob again, like her tiny body was being torn apart.
Rictor reached out to her, and wrapped a long arm around her shoulders. She laid her head on his chest, and he hugged her to him, murmuring soothing things to her in Spanish. She just cried harder.
"What's wrong Tabs?" He asked, when she finally calmed down enough to talk.
"Sam…he…he dumped me!" The little blonde sobbed, tears splashing down her small face. Julio reached out to a tan hand to wipe the tears away.
"Why? Did he give you a reason?" Rictor asked, stroking her cheek softly. Tabitha shook her head, more tears splashing down her face.
"He said that we needed time apart." Tabitha elaborated, brushing more chubby tears away.
Rictor rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, sounds like someone was trying to get out of the relationship." He winced when he realized what he had just said.
With a sob, Tabitha buried her face in Ric's chest again, weeping sadly. Ric hugged her again, silently cursing his own tongue.
"Ah, Tabs, I'm sorry. Listen…you want me to go talk to Sam? Find what the hell's goin' on?" Ric asked, patting her head.
She looked up at him with such a pitifully hopeful expression it nearly broke Rictor's heart. "Would you?"
He grinned, and kissed her forehead in the time honored brotherly fashion. "I'll be back soon."
Sam was sitting in an armchair with his hands clasped between his knees when Rictor found him. His eyes were puffy and red. Tear streaks were evident on his face.
Of course, none of this mattered to Julio Richter.
"What the HELL is your problem, Guthrie?!" Were the first words out of his mouth.
Sam didn't look up; he just sat there, seemingly lost in his own world. Again, not that any of this mattered to Julio.
"What did you think you were DOING, leaving her like that!?" Julio screamed. "You DO realize that she's been crying for nearly an HOUR now?!"
"Has it been that long…so long…"Sam whispered unclasping his hands and burying his face in them.
"What the fuck are you muttering about over there, Sam!?" Ric snarled, his dark eyes glowing suspiciously. Sam finally looked up at him, almost as if he had just realized that Rictor was standing there.
"Ric?" He asked, his eyes confused.
"WHAT!?" Rictor yelled back. Sam winced.
"Ah guess you found out about me and Tabitha?" He asked, looking back down at his hands.
Rictor stared at him in shock. "Did you NOT hear a word I just SAID?"
Sam looked at him with a blank look. This spoke volumes to Rictor. The young man sighed, and collapsed into a chair near Sam.
"Alright, amigo. What's the deal?" He asked.
"What do ya mean?" Sam asked, looking down at his hands, which he was nervously twisting in his lap.
"Why'd ya break up with Boomer?" Rictor explained, lifting an eyebrow. Sam swallowed so hard you could see it.
"How is she?" Sam asked, looking up at Rictor. That's when the Mexican noticed the blood shot eyes and tear streaks.
Rictor hesitated. Sam didn't look like he was going to react very well if he told him that Tabitha hadn't stopped crying, since it happened.
"She's…as bout as well as can be expected." Rictor tried, but winced when Sam's face fell.
"Is she gonna be alright?" Sam asked in a near whisper. Rictor shrugged.
"She's pretty tough. She can get through this." Rictor shrugged, and leaned back in the chair.
Sam nodded, rising from the chair. "Ah have to go."
"OO-kay…" Rictor said, watching Sam walk off, his head down, and his shoulders slumping. "That was really weird."
Tabitha was sitting on the top step of the stairs when Sam walked into the foyer. She had her arms wrapped around her knees, and her head down, so she didn't see him.
Sam stopped and stared at her for a long time, tears slipping down his cheeks. He moved towards the stairs, swallowing hard, but then stopped. Closing his eyes, he took a step back, and another. Fighting off a sob, he turned and walked out of the room, away from the crying blonde.