A Great Disguise

Natalie Martinez
boot_knife@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Disney and Mary Poppins belong to Disney. Sam, Dani, Bobby, and Tabitha belong to Marvel (please bring back Shatterstar) Comics. The lyrics to A Great Disguise are by Even Stevens, Hillary Kanter, and Greg Barnhill. The song is sang by Martina McBride.
People talking, think I’m all right

Think I’m doing fine

Goin’ through the motions of my life

Go to work now every mornin’

Yeah I play the part

And hide away the contents of my solemn heart

I watch them at the breakfast table. Whatever Tabitha and I used to have, might as well never have been. She snuggles close to Bobby not even caring that the closer she sits to him, the more she breaks my heart. Bobby shifts uncomfortably beside her at first, then starts to forget as Tabitha looks deep into his eyes and smiles. I stand up quietly and walk out of the room. I can’t sit through this. I can’t watch.

Why? Why did my girlfriend get with my best friend? What evil have I done for this to happen? I went to the X-men, but I always called. I always wrote. Why did they betray me?

But when the sun goes down

And the moon is high

I can’t control the flood of all these tears inside

And if they only knew

They’d be so surprised

I’m just a good pretender in a great disguise

“Sam, you okay,” Dani asks as she follows me into the living room. I flip the tv on casually.

“Sure, why ya ask?” I manage to look up at her and smile.

“Well, you know.” Her dark eyes are the only part of her that show discomfort. They’re two birds flirting here and there trying to find escape from a predator.

“No, Ah don’t girl, not till ya tell me.” I lean back and prop my feet on the table in front of the couch.

“Sam, we both know I’m talking about Bobby and Tabitha.”

I sigh loudly. “Listen Dani, it don’t bother me. Tabitha moved on to Bobby. That’s it. Done. Nothing I can do about it. My hearts already mended.”

She stares at me. She’s looking to make sure that I’m telling the truth. I shrug and give her a dazzling smile that would make my mama proud. Her eyes search me, trying to make sure she’s right. “Okay, I believe you’re telling the truth. But if you want to talk about that, or anything else, then you know where to find me.” She then gets up and goes back to the kitchen, probably to finish her breakfast.

Keep ‘em guessin’, keep ‘em laughin’

Build that wall up high

As long as they don’t see the other side

You’ve really done it

Done a number, a number on my soul

But I’ll be damned if I’ll ever let you know

I start flipping through channels. There has to be something that I can watch on tv. I finally settle on the Disney channel. Mary Poppins is singing about a spoonful of sugar. Yeah, it helps it go down all right. It makes it go down directly into your heart and tears it up with heartburn.

The kitchen door swings open yet again. Tabitha walks out and my breath catches in my throat. My God, she’s so beautiful. Her hair is still short from where she cut it all off when she started calling herself Meltdown. It’s still the color of corn silk though, and softer than velvet. I know it. I’ve touched it so often. She’s wearing a top that shows off her slim figure. Tight little shorts and a tank top cut off so her belly button shows. Damn, how many times have I kissed that belly button? I feel a whimper crawl it’s way screaming up my throat. With great difficulty I force it back down. I won’t give her the chance to see how she’s destroyed me.

“Sam,” she asks as she gets in between me and the tv. “You okay today?”

I stare up at her and plaster that damn fake smile back on my face. “’Course Tab. Just not hungry Ah guess.” I shrug my shoulders a little and try to look around her. It doesn’t help though. Instead all I can see is that shapely ass of hers. Damn, how many times have I sat and just stared at her body? I’ve memorized every inch of her with my eyes, not to mention my hands. I quickly stop myself from staring and look up at her. “Um, could you move a bit? Mary Poppins is on.”

She stares at me, just like Dani did. “Okay, she says as she sits directly beside me on the couch. “What part is she up to?”

Her scent and her voice overpower me. I just want to lay my head in her lap and beg for her to come back to me. I’m not sure how long I can handle being this near her and not being able to hold her. “She just sang a spoonful of sugar,” I manage to say it without bursting into tears. I keep the damn fake smile plastered on my face.

Bobby comes in after thirty minutes it was his turn for kitchen clean-up. He walks over to us and sits down by Tabitha, casually draping one arm on her slim delicate shoulders. We all watch the rest of the movie in complete silence, if you don’t count the noise my heart makes as it shatters.

But when the sun goes down

And the moon is high

There’s no way to hide the truth from me, myself, and I

Yeah, I wear it well

Though it ain’t my size

I’m just a good pretender in a great disguise

“Well guys, Ah gotta go run a session in the danger room. Ya know, don’t wanna get out of wack and all,” Sam says as he turns, walks to the door, and leaves.

“Bobby, do you really think he’ll be okay with this?” I shift in Bobby’s arms uncomfortably.

“Tab, you agreed we had to tell him how we feel about each.”

“Yeah, but still. I feel awful. I mean we have to tell him that I’m expecting and that it’s yours.”

“I know, but we’re his best friends. He’ll be happy for us.”

I stare up at the face of the man I love with my whole heart. “You’re right. Let’s go tell him the good news.”

I’m not one to show emotion Like some fools I see

I won’t wear my heart out on my sleeve

I don’t miss you

Not for a moment

I’m gonna be okay

Words of wisdom spoken

By the light of day

“Sam!” I hear someone shout behind me. I turn to look and see Bobby walking quickly over to me.

“Yes Bobby?” I ask with the mask back in place with another brilliant smile.

”I’ve got to talk to you. It’s about me and Tabitha.”

“It is? Sure, you can tell me anything.” Please let them be breaking up. Please let them be breaking up.

“Sam, Tab’s pregnant.”

The words hang in the air between us and I don’t know what to say. Finally, still in shock the words come to me. “Well, congratulations Bobby!” I shout joyously as I pat him on the back and pump his hand. “Do you know whether it’s a boy or girl? How along is she?” I throw question after question at him until I’m sure his head is spinning. Maybe he won’t notice that my mask is slipping and my eyes are tearing up.

“She’s four months. It’s a boy. Sam, will you be his godfather? We plan on naming him after you.”

“Sure! Ah’d be honored to be the little fellow’s god daddy!”

“You sure you’re okay with this,” Bobby asks as he looks at me strangely. “I mean you and Tab were dating for a while.”

“If it makes you two happy then I’m happy. ‘Sides, I’m over her.” I beam at him.”

His smile is probably even larger than my fake one. “Good. Sam, I never want to loose you over a woman.”

“You won’t.” I say as I pat him on the back. It took a baby to lose me.

But when the sun goes down

And the moon is high

Your memory pulls me under like a strong riptide

I’m still in love with you

It’s all smoke and lights

I’m just a good pretender in a great disguise

I’m just a good pretender in a great disguise

It’s nighttime. I’m the only one awake. I’m lying in my bed hugging my pillow tight. Tabitha and Bobby are having a baby. A boy from what the doctors can see. They want to name him after me. I grasp my pillows as the tears fall like rain. I don’t care. I don’t want this. All I want are for things to go back they way they were before. I want Bobby to be back with Gideon. I want Tabitha’s love to belong to me, and I want the damn baby dead.

I’ve never wanted someone dead like I want that baby dead. It’s not like me. I have to leave. I can’t stay here. I stand up and walk over to the window. The worlds so quiet right now. I feel the tears slide down my face. Tomorrow I’m going to go talk to Cyclops, get reinstated back in the X-Men. I can’t stay here, not when Tabitha, Bobby, and little Samuel all going to be under this roof. I’m scared I might hurt them. With a deep sigh of relief I watch as a star falls to the ground.

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